SEAL of Honor (9 page)

Excelling in all of his academic subjects, Michael was an outgoing and likable student. He was a voracious reader, and would often read the same book several times—a practice he never outgrew.

A natural athlete, Michael played soccer in the first and second grade. At age six, he began playing T-ball with Dan as his coach. Two years of “B” ball and three years of “A” ball followed. In the fifth grade, he earned the coveted white belt that signified his position as a member of the Safety Patrol.

Dan’s friend Tony Viggiano, who was connected with the local Sachem Athletic Club, asked Dan about enrolling Michael to play football. When asked, Michael jumped at the opportunity. At Tony’s insistence, Dan agreed to be the team’s coach, although he readily admitted he knew nothing about coaching football. Tony insisted that all Dan needed to do was to design a few simple plays and things would be fine.

After a few practices and several scrimmages against other teams, Michael displayed genuine athletic ability, speed, and throwing accuracy, and became the starting quarterback for the Sachem Wolf Pack in the Sachem Youth Football Club, sponsored by the Suffolk County Police Athletic League. On the very first play from scrimmage of the first game, Michael dropped back to pass the ball and was grabbed by the face mask and thrown to the ground. Witnessing the play, Dan immediately ran onto the field. Dan saw the referee throw his flag and approached him, saying, “Good, you saw that!” The referee told Dan that the penalty was against him, because the coach was not permitted to run onto the field. Michael ran over to his father and said, “Dad, you’re not supposed to be out on the field. I’m OK.” Dan and Michael laughed as the referee walked off the fifteen-yard penalty.

Of course, this being New York, street hockey was another of Michael’s favorite sports, frequently and spontaneously organized by his neighborhood friends in any empty driveway or parking lot, an activity that he would continue into his middle-school years.

One evening, when Dan believed Michael was asleep, he began working on a gruesome murder case that he was trying. He laid out some large and very graphic color photos of the case and was absorbed in reviewing them. Suddenly Dan heard Michael ask, “Hey, Dad, is that chicken?” Dan immediately tried to cover the pictures with a newspaper. However, after a few seconds, Michael realized what the pictures were, turned very pale, and immediately vomited all over the pictures. Feeling guilty, Dan apologized and tried to calm Michael by talking with him about why he had the pictures and telling him that he was trying to convict the “bad guys who did such a terrible thing to that poor man.”

During the summer of 1983, when he was seven, Michael was out in the front yard playing with some friends when his mother heard the loud screeching of a car hitting its brakes. Terrified, Maureen ran outside and saw Michael lying in the road about five feet in front of the stopped car. As Maureen screamed and ran for the road, Michael slowly got up clutching a small dog, which had escaped without a scratch. The driver, visibly shaken, got out of the car, and as she and Maureen
reached Michael, they saw that he was no worse for wear other than a few abrasions on his arms, legs, and forehead. Frantically they asked him what he was doing. “This little dog ran into the street and was about to get run over, so I ran out and grabbed him.” Later that evening at the dinner table, Michael admitted, “It was pretty scary. All I could see was those big black tires coming right for my head.”

Michael was nurtured in an extended family of dedicated public servants and also benefited by his mother’s acute sense of compassion toward others. Even at a young age he began to take a keen interest in protecting and helping other people, especially those he viewed as weak or being taken advantage of.

Dan’s brother Brian always seemed to be down on his luck and frequently called to ask Dan for money to help his wife and infant daughter. Although he frequently wasted the money on beer and cigarettes, Dan always provided him with $20 to $40. Michael was now old enough to understand his uncle’s wayward habits and their consequences.

One day, after his uncle had left the Murphy home with yet another $40 of his father’s hard-earned money, Michael asked Dan why he continued to give away money when he knew that Brian would probably “just blow it.” Dan explained that while he would indeed probably just blow it, Brian was his brother, and he would never turn away someone who genuinely needed help, especially family.

Young Michael never forgot that conversation, and by the time he left Canaan, he had internalized the school motto: “With the courage of a lion, always do the right thing.” This motto was a frequent motivator throughout his life.

Michael continued to clearly demonstrate his academic excellence throughout his middle-school years. It was during that time that his parents also began to see the development of his natural-born leadership qualities, his maturity, and his sensitivity toward others. Maureen later recalled that when she arrived for her first parentteacher conference with Michael’s new sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Schwab, he said, “Michael Murphy, yes. A great young man. Listen, I’ve been teaching for nearly thirty-five years, and this kid is really something. Mark my words, he is going to make his mark someday.”

During middle school, Michael continued to play football and organized baseball, having moved to the “major leagues” with the bases now ninety feet apart instead of the previous sixty feet. At first Maureen and Dan worried that Michael’s running ability had markedly decreased until they learned that the distance between bases had been increased.

Michael began to internalize his father’s frequent mantra that “adversity builds character.” In fact, Maureen remembered that on one particular occasion when
Michael had suffered yet another injury that required medical treatment, he said, “Mom, I’ve had enough character building. I would like for things to go right for a change.”

Through his father’s career as a prosecuting attorney, Michael was able to see both the good and bad in people, and that even “bad” people can do good things while “good” people do bad things. One case that really affected young Michael involved a young man his father was prosecuting for a string of burglaries. Dan had a sense that this was indeed a case of a good person who got caught up in a bad situation, and that if given the opportunity, the young man would make amends and live a good, honest life.

Although the young man clearly could have received a jail sentence, Dan explained to Michael why he was going to recommend probation, community service, and restitution. Several years later the young man came to the Murphy home and thanked Dan for his understanding and leniency. He said that he had opened his own shoe-repair business in a nearby town and was a successful businessman, and offered to provide free shoe-repair service for the family. That episode stuck with Michael. He subsequently and inherently believed the best in people and always gave them the benefit of any doubt.

On occasion Michael accompanied his father to work, where he was able to observe criminal court proceedings firsthand. One particular day, he watched his father argue before the United States District Court for the Eastern District of New York. After the long day in court, Michael asked his father if he had won or lost. Dan responded, “Michael, it’s not winning or losing so much as justice being served and the truth being decided.” That answer stayed with Michael and later appeared on his law school applications.

In another instance, young Michael and his friend Paul received the results of a major examination. Young Paul was very proud of his score and told Maureen that he had received a 92. Maureen turned to Michael and asked how he had done. Michael answered, “Oh, I did OK.” Later that evening at dinner, the topic of school was discussed, and Maureen again asked Michael his score on the test. Michael responded that he had received a 96. When Maureen asked him why he did not mention his score when she had asked earlier, Michael responded, “Mom, Paul was so excited about his 92, telling him my score would have just thrown cold water on him, so I didn’t say anything. It was not that important.” Dan and Maureen just looked at each other and realized that Michael was much more mature than either of them were when they were his age.

CHAPTER FIVE

—RED AUERBACH, quoted at Good Fortunes,
www.goodfortunes.com/v/quote/sorry.html
(accessed March 5, 2008)

 

 

 

A
t age ten, Michael’s protective instincts developed further with the birth of his younger brother, John. He was very excited when John was born, and he immediately took on the role of protective big brother.

Because his father was politically active, young Michael was frequently around adults in a variety of business, political, and social settings. When Michael was twelve, the Murphy family took a summer vacation to Hersheypark in Hershey, Pennsylvania. At that time, Michael was very close to his cousin Tara Reidy, the daughter of Dan’s sister Gerri. Tara went along and stayed with them at the exclusive Hotel Hershey. Unaccustomed to large, expensive hotels, Tara was apprehensive. On their first day, the family went to dinner. All of the various forks, other silverware, and folded napkins made Tara quite anxious. She said she couldn’t eat because she didn’t know what to do with all the utensils. Michael leaned over and said, “Tara, don’t worry about it. You’re never going to see these people again; use whatever fork you want. It really doesn’t matter.” Tara looked anxiously at Michael, who just smiled and nodded his head. Tara returned the smile and became perfectly at ease. After that, Tara and Michael developed a close bond that remained for the rest of his life.

While in the eighth grade, Michael saw a group of boys taunting a special-education child and trying to push him into a locker. Michael interceded and got involved in a fight with several of the bullies. After teachers broke up the fight, the principal of the school called Maureen and said, “Mrs. Murphy, I’m calling not to get Michael into trouble, but I am required to call because the incident happened.” He explained that Michael had been involved in a fight defending a special-education
child. While Michael’s parents did not condone fighting, both Dan and Maureen could not have been prouder of their son. After this incident, Michael garnered the nickname “the Protector.” The following year, while taking a shortcut home through a small wooded area, Michael came upon a group of students tormenting a homeless man who had been collecting bottles and cans in a plastic bag. Michael yelled for the other kids to stop. One of them turned toward him and said, “Aw, Murphy, are you going to start?”

Michael replied, “No, I’m not going to start, but you’re gonna stop.”

The students left grumbling. Michael approached the man, who was cowering near a tree, and said, “It’s OK. Here, let me help you.” Michael picked up all of the cans and bottles the boys had thrown and put them back into the large plastic bag. As Michael started toward the man to give him the bag, he began shaking and covered himself. Sensing his fear, Michael stopped and set the bag down and said, “It’s OK. No one is going to bother you. I’m leaving. Your bag is right here when you want it.” When Michael was a safe distance away, the man slowly got up and picked up his bag. Michael turned around and just smiled at the man and waved.

Dan and Michael spent many hours together doing yard work and playing sports. Dan occasionally talked about his military service in Vietnam. He explained to Michael the misfortunes of the enlisted troops on the ground in Vietnam, many of whom were killed as the result of the actions of incompetent or overzealous officers with little or no combat experience. He was adamantly opposed to his son serving in the military—so much so that he repeatedly told Michael that he would disown him if he ever enlisted in the armed forces.

During a memorable game in his last season in the “major leagues,” which was also his last year of middle school, Michael came to the plate with one runner on base and his team down by one run. On the second pitch, Michael hit a home run to win the game. As he rounded the bases and returned to the dugout, everyone patted him on the back and said that he won the game. Taught by his father that a leader is only as good as his team, Michael was quick to point out, “Not really, guys. I only scored one run, and the rest of you scored the others. That’s what allowed us to win the game, not me.”

Michael remembered this invaluable advice from his father: “When you are the leader, when you are out front, someone will always criticize and try and find fault. As the leader, it is your job to lead—your job to make decisions.” As the starting quarterback and the team captain for the Sachem Wolf Pack for four years, Michael became the unquestioned leader of his team. While not always correct, he never hesitated to lead, never hesitated to make a decision, and never abdicated his role as the leader.

In 1991 Michael entered Patchogue-Medford High School as an honor student and took a full college preparatory course load. Among his small group of friends, Paul Viggiano, Pete Lopez, and Tim Scott were his best friends. With his reputation as the Protector preceding him, Michael was the target of the occasional snide comment, but no one challenged him.

A couple of traumatic incidents that involved friends and acquaintances had a major impact on Michael. First, Michael’s girlfriend Adrienne’s younger brother was killed while riding his bicycle in the neighborhood. Later, a young girl who frequently sat with Michael at the lunch table was hit by a car and killed one evening while crossing the highway.

During the summer of Michael’s junior year, in 1993, his uncle Billy Jones, Maureen’s younger brother, lost his battle with cancer and left his wife and three daughters. Their mother was incapable of caring for them, and the three girls, Cathy, Colleen, and Kelly, faced being placed in foster care. This was unacceptable to both Dan and Maureen, so the three girls came to live with the Murphys.