Scorned (20 page)

              “Please, don’t stop on my account,” Matthew said. His expression was hard to read. It was like there was a war in his head. Part of him wanted to be angry with me. The other part looked like he was ready to devour me on the spot.

              I dropped my pants to the floor and stepped towards him. I’m sorry I was late getting back. I just…”

              Matthew placed a finger on my lips. His left hand grabbed my waist and brought me close. The scent of his musky cologne surrounded me. His finger moved towards my ear and traced the line down my jaw. I was putty in his hands.

              The urge to be with Matthew was strong. I did everything to succumb to the desire. He took my face in his hands drawing me closer to his lips. I was ready. I wanted him, but found my brain tossing flashes of Ambrose having sex with the women he drugged turned my stomach.

              I stepped away from Matthew. My hands shook with terror and repulsion. “I’m sorry; I can’t do this, not tonight.”

              He looked at me with concern. “Is everything all right?”

              “Yes, no, I don’t know. It’s just the…”

              “The case; I know. You have to let that shit go when you come home.” Matthew had a genuine concern for me, but I could hear the anger embedded in his voice.

              “That’s easier said than done. You don’t know the things I go through, the things that all cops go through on a daily basis. I’ve spent every day of the last twelve years doing my best to protect the streets in Ulster County. I’ve been mocked and ridiculed, called in to handle domestic disputes where men have beaten their wives senseless. I’ve been in high speed chases, shot at and had someone try to run me down. I’ve watched as friends, co-workers and other officers get buried as their loved ones mourn their loss all the while wondering if today is the last day I’m going to see my family.”

              Matthew’s mouth hung open. His eyes were wide with terror. He knew police go through hell on a daily basis, but he never imagined the woman he loved fighting her way through it. “Ali, I-I didn’t know.”

              “I know you didn’t. I don’t expect you to. It’s not easy to turn those feelings on and off with a flip of a switch.”

              Matthew sat down on the bed shaking his head. He glanced up at me and locked his fingers around mine. “Maybe it’s time you think of walking away from the force.”

              “What?”

              He responded as if I didn’t hear him. “I almost lost you last year. You almost lost your sister all because of some lunatic that you were hunting down. Maybe you should consider leaving the force, maybe do something a little less dangerous.”

              I ripped my hand away from his. “Are you serious?” Hostility filled my voice as I stared him down. “The force is my life. It’s been the only thing I dreamt of doing with my life. Taking down scum like Nick DeFalco and getting them off the streets are what I live for. How could ask me to give that up?”

              “Because I love you.”

              “Do you? Because loving someone means you love them and everything about them.”

              “I just don’t want to wake up one day to find out you were shot, stabbed or thrown off another bridge.” I knew what happened to me earlier in the year affected him. Matthew was the only witness to me being attacked on the Mid-Hudson Bridge. He watched me plummet to the water. If it hadn’t been for Matthew, I would’ve been dead.

              “I know my job scares you. It scares me sometimes too. But that fear is what keeps me on my toes at work. It’s what drives me to take down the scum that walk the streets and be there to protect the innocent. Being a cop is who I am. That’s not going to change.”

              A stillness fell over the room. We both had our opinions on the matter. It was highly doubtful either of us would change our minds.

              “So,” Matthew said in a hushed tone. “Where do we go from here?”

              It was the question I wasn’t ready to handle. “I-I don’t know. But I know I’m not leaving the force any time soon.”

              “I can’t wait until then to have a safe secure life with you.”

              I felt a pain in my chest like someone was stabbing me. It was a relentlessly blinding pain that wouldn’t go away. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. There were shouts inside my head from a voice that sounded just like mine.
No, this can’t be it. Fight for him.

              Matthew stood up from the bed. His eyes were red and glassy. He wouldn’t look at me. He knew the same thing I did. This was the end, it was the end of us. “Goodbye Ali.” He grabbed my hand and gave it one last squeeze.

             
No, don’t go. Don’t leave
. The internal pleas fell on deaf ears as I stood there and watched him walk out of my bedroom.

              My heart was breaking. I mean it legitimately felt like it was breaking. I stood frozen to the spot hoping, praying he would come back. Any moment, he would walk right back through that door, take me in his arms and tell me he was a fool for even thinking about letting me go. But that was for the movies. This was the real world. Those fairytale endings don’t happen in real life.

              After several minutes, I resolved to sitting on the floor and tucking my arms around my legs. He was gone. I pushed him away. Matthew, the only man I ever loved, left me alone and broken hearted. The damns holding back my tears burst, spilling streams down my face. A comforting hand touched my forearm. I looked up with hope that Matthew returned, but it was only Amanda.

              “What happened,” she asked.

              “He wanted me to quit the force.” The anger I felt from him even asking such a thing burned through me. “That’s like asking me to stop breathing.”

              Amanda crawled to my side and curled an arm behind my head as I leaned into her shoulder. “You can’t blame the man. He’s spent a year with you and was pushed aside for a case. The only real time you spent together was when they forced you to take time away and when they put you behind the desk.” Her head perked up as if a lightbulb went off in her brain. “Why don’t you take a desk job? You’ll be out of harm’s way and at the same time you’ll still be a cop.”

              “No, absolutely not. I hated being stuck behind that desk. I felt like a caged animal that needed to prowl the wild. I wanted so bad to get back out in the field, and that was only after a few months. Imagine forcing me to be like that for the next ten or fifteen years.”

              “Ali, you don’t have that many years left. What are you gonna do once you retire? What are you gonna do with your life; your time?”

              The tears subsided. “I’ll figure out something out.”

              “And what about getting married or having kids?”

              “I can worry about that when I retire.”

              “Yes, but Matthew can’t. He loves you and wants to spend his life with you.” Her words made sense to me. But giving into him meant giving up who I am and that wasn’t something I would do. Not for Matthew and not for any man.

Chapter 23-Claire

              Claire woke to the sound of someone knocking on her front door. At first, it was a light rapping of knuckles. In seconds, it turned into a loud thumping sound as if the person slammed their fist against it. Claire didn’t want to get out of bed. She had a half hour before her alarm was scheduled to wake her for work, but the pounding continued. Someone was eager to get her attention and was relentless in their attempt.

              “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Claire stumbled from her bed and threw on a cherry silk robe and matching fuzzy slippers. The loud pounding on the front door continued. “I’m coming,” She shouted while walking through the house. The knocking stopped after she announced her arrival. Her hand gripped the knob and flung the door open. The scowl on her face was meant to ward off the person responsible for interrupting her sleep, but there was no one there. Claire stuck her head outside of the house and peered from side to side. There was no one in sight. No one was walking to their car, no sign of a delivery truck, no sign that anyone was there at all.

              “Hello?” Claire said it as if someone would magically appear before her. She checked the road again, thinking she may have missed something or someone. She couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that she was being watched. It was a feeling that has been inescapable for the last few weeks. The paranoia was getting to her, forcing Claire to return to her house. Her eyes caught sight of a brown box sitting on her front step. Glancing it over, Claire determined there was no sign of a name, address or postage on it. It was almost as if someone dropped it off and ran away before she opened the door.

              Resolved that she wasn’t going to find the person who dropped off the box, Claire took the package inside her house. She held it up to her ear. No ticking noises. She shook it and heard something rattle around inside. Her curiosity won out and caused her to meticulously open the package. Claire used a box cutter to slice open the tape and unfolded the flaps. Inside was a smaller box that was filled with orange pill bottles. They were filled a quarter of the way. The labels had been carefully removed and replaced with another one telling what each one contained. There were three bottles in total. One was marked Oxy, one Perks and the final one just said sedatives.

              Claire had no idea if that’s what were actual contents in the bottles or why they were randomly dropped on her doorstep. Her first instincts were to call the police and report what happened. She needed to tell someone that a mysterious box of pills found their way to her house. But that sounded highly suspicious and would prompt an investigation. They would pry into her life, her past, as if that would turn up anything incriminating. But the police would keep a close eye on her, use search warrants to look through her house and office. They would find the pills she had already taken from the hospital. They weren’t controlled substances, but it could cause a lot of trouble for her, possibly causing her to lose her license. And what would she say if they found them? She couldn’t tell them the truth. And it wasn’t like she could come up with some random excuse that would warrant her to hide those pills. There was no way she was going to the police about this, but didn’t know what to do with them.

              Claire moved to put the smaller box of pills inside the larger package. Inside was a folded up piece of paper that she missed earlier.
Maybe this can tell me who sent this to me.
She unfolded the paper and read the brief note that was left for her.

             
Claire, I know what you did. Hope this helps you fight the good fight. Keep going; you know what to do.

              Seeing the unsigned note and the words
I know what you did,
shook Claire to her core. The paper fell from her fingertips back into the box. Someone knew about Ambrose or maybe they knew about Tyson, or maybe they knew about both. If they knew, why weren’t they going to the police about it? And why did they say keep fighting the good fight?

              Claire sat at her kitchen table staring at the pill bottles again. Whoever sent her the package wanted her to do something with them. Claire’s mind turned to her thoughts from the other night. She wanted to get rid of the low life men that took advantage of drunk or drugged women. Her eyes were fixated on the labels. Using them would work better and faster on her victims. Even if police found them during the autopsy and tox screen, the pills couldn’t be traced back to her. She just had to make sure no one catches her doing it. Her eyes glanced up at the sky blue clock with a duck plastered in the center of it. “Shit, I’m going to be late.”

**************************************************************

              Claire rushed through the corridors of the hospital trying to make it to her office before her secretary/best friend got on her case for being for not being on time. Sheila loved doing stuff like that to Claire. Their personalities were polar opposites. Claire was an uptight perfectionist. Sheila was the laid back, easy going, looking for a good time kind of girl.

              When Claire walked through the door five minutes late, she could hear the tsk tsking from Sheila as she walked by. “You’re late Claire. That’s not like you.”

              “Oh shut up,” Claire said with a bit of hostility in her voice.

              “If you’re late, than you’re not perfect,” Sheila mocked in a motherly voice. “And what would you parents say if you weren’t perfect?”

              “Cut the crap,” Claire snapped. She was obviously not in the mood for Sheila’s teasing. For the first time in their thirteen year friendship, Claire stood up for herself.

              “Look who grew a backbone,” Sheila laughed.

              Claire stared at her with a fire burning in her eyes. “My office now. Claire stormed inside and waited for her friend to enter. Claire slammed the door shut. She paced in front of Sheila before throwing her an intense look of disapproval. “I know you think I’m uptight or that I try to be perfect. Just know that your comments are unnecessary and should not be said in the workplace. Outside of here, we are friends. But once you step foot in this hospital, I am your boss and you will treat me as such.”

              “Okay,” Sheila said in whiney voice that was equivalent to a teenage girl trying to appease her nagging parents. “Geez Claire, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

              “And another thing. While we’re here in the hospital, you will refer to me as Dr. Cain.”

              “Are you serious?”

              “Very serious, that’ll be all.” Claire shooed Sheila out of the office and closed the door behind her. She collapsed against the door with a loud sigh that was thirteen years in the making. She grabbed her lab coat and strutted from her office with a newfound confidence that she never knew existed.

              Claire began visiting her patients which helped put a bigger smile on her face. She didn’t think anything could ruin her day, at least that was what she thought.

              “Hey Claire,” Dr. DeMarco said in a manner that was to appear like a cool guy persona, but it came off as someone trying too hard.

              Claire’s intestines twisted in a knot at the sound of his voice. Her heels clicked against the tiled floor faster as she tried to ignore him calling her name. Footsteps echoed behind her, slapping against the tiles effortlessly catching up to hers. DeMarco appeared in front of her with his arm stretched out to lean on the wall.

              “Oh hi,” Claire said casually as if she just saw an old friend.

              “Hey, didn’t you hear me calling your name?”

              “Sorry, I must have been lost in thought. Is everything okay?” Claire was hoping Dr. DeMarco would be brief and not waste her time coming onto her again.

              “I just wanted to make sure we were on for later today.”

              “Uh, sure. I’m free this afternoon.” The idea of spending any more time than she had to with this man made her skin crawl.

              “I’ll stop by your office in a couple of hours.” He touched his index finger to her chin and winked. “See you then.”

************************************************************

              It was just after lunch when the phone in Claire’s office started buzzing. Sheila was still annoyed over her treatment from earlier and settled on payback in the form of pressing the intercom button repeatedly any time a call came in or to remind Claire of an appointment. When Dr. DeMarco appeared, Sheila decided it would be great payback to push the button three times in rapid succession before leaving her finger on the button.

              “What the hell is wrong with you,” Claire snapped.

              “Um, so sorry to disturb you Dr. Cain.” Sheila spoke as if she was an innocent child forced to apologize to an adult. “Dr. DeMarco is here to see you.”

              Claire checked her watch and saw it was one on the dot.
At least he was prompt
. She grabbed her lab coat and exited the office. The fakeness in her smile went unnoticed as she joined the party at Sheila’s desk.

              “You’re right on time,” Claire said while tapping her wrist.

              “I was looking forward to this. I mean, I was looking forward to meeting the rest of the staff.” His wicked smile sent a chill down Claire, but had Sheila squirming in her seat. He walked towards the door. His arm stretched out motioning for Claire to lead on. “After you Ma Lady.”

              Sheila pushed the tips of her hands in a quick motion. “Go, go,” she whispered. Claire could tell what her friend was thinking.
Do whatever he wants you to and get yourself some of that.

              Claire and Dr. Ron DeMarco roamed the corridors together. They were silent until the pair reached the first nurses station. Claire politely introduced him to the ladies at the desk. She watched DeMarco in action as he smooth talked the women. They melted at his every word.
Damn, am I the only one that finds him repulsive?
She shrugged it off and continued to walk him around the hospital, introducing him to some of the doctors that had been around for a while.

              Feeling the tension between them, Ron DeMarco reached for Claire’s hand. She pulled back and kept away from him. “What’s wrong?”

              “I…just…don’t want to be touched; that’s all.”

              “Sorry,” Ron replied. “So Claire, what do you like to do for fun?”

              She turned and faced him. “Let’s get this straight. You are my boss. This is purely a professional relationship.”

              “You’ve got the wrong idea about me.”

              “Really? So you’re not trying to get in my pants?” It was a harsh accusation to throw at her new boss, but Claire needed to set up some boundaries with Dr. DeMarco.

              “I’m a harmless flirt. I really don’t mean anything by it.” Claire eyed him suspiciously. “Honest, you’ve got the wrong idea about me.”

              Claire didn’t trust Ron DeMarco, but continued giving him the grand tour. They kept quiet in between stops until they reached the end of the tour.

              “That’s it,” Claire said with a sigh of relief.

              They stopped outside the conference room. It was the first place she met him and was given a horrible first impression. “Can we talk for a minute?” Little goose bumps formed on Claire’s arms as Ron held the door open for her. She was hesitant. Nobody could blame her for that. “Please, I won’t bite. I promise.” He held the door open for her.

              Claire walked into the dark room and clicked on the lights. Ron was right behind her. She could feel him looking over her shoulder. She could smell his arrogant cologne growing closer. She ran towards the table trying her best to escape him.

              “Okay, I’m here. You wanted to talk, so talk.”

              “I really don’t know why you hate me. What have I done to…” Claire’s head swiveled to the spot where Ron had cornered her when they first met. “Oh,” he replied. He shook his head. “I’m really sorry about that. I was a complete jackass. I was on an adrenaline high from getting the promotion and you looked.”

              “Like a reward?”

              “No, beautiful. I thought flaunting my success was the way to get you to notice me, but I can see that was a completely ridiculous idea.”

              “You think?”

              “Look, I know I handled things the wrong way. And I apologize for my appalling behavior.” He paused and glanced up at Claire. “Please let me make it up to you. Let me take you to dinner. No strings, no expectations; just a boss taking out his employee for an apologetic meal.”

              Claire knew this wouldn’t be a casual business dinner. Dr. DeMarco had a hidden agenda. She knew he wouldn’t stop until he got whatever he wanted, but what was it? Was it sex? Was it dominance over her? Or was she really the prize he was after?”

              Claire crossed her arms across her chest and drummed her fingers on the fabric of her white lab coat. “Fine, one dinner, that’s it.”

              “Wonderful, I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at seven.” Ron DeMarco strutted out of the room like a peacock with its chest puffed out and plumage in full display.