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Authors: Betty G. Birney

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BOOK: School Days According to Humphrey

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Once the family was back from the game (Harry's team wonâyay!), I learned that the Itos were really fun as long as they didn't have to worry about time. Harry showed Suzy some of his soccer moves in the backyard. Then they all went out for a while and came back with lots of yummy food. Later, Mr. and Mrs. Ito cooked a big dinner and Harry and Suzy helped. And they gave
me
carrots.

After dinner, they all went downstairs to the basement and Harry brought me along.

I was glad he did, because I got to sit in my cage and watch the family play table tennis. They didn't play tennis
with
a table. They played it
on
a table, using a small bouncy ball and paddles.

Suzy was too young to play, but they gave her a paddle and let her try. Harry and his parents were very good at hitting the ball back and forth across a table with a little net going down the center. The game was quite exciting and my neck got tired from turning my head back and forth to follow the ball in its travels.

“Hey, maybe Humphrey would like to play,” Harry said.

I shivered and quivered a little bit, worried that the Itos were going to bat me back and forth with paddles. But Harry had a better idea. First, he put blankets all around the edges of the table so I wouldn't roll off. Then he placed me inside my hamster ball and set it on the table.

“Go for it, Humphrey,” he said.

The Itos all leaned in and watched as I rolled my ball across the table toward the net. I was able to pick up quite a bit of speed. As I hit the net, I bounced off, just like the little white ball.

“Score one for Humphrey!” said Harry. “Let's give him a point every time he bounces off the net.”

I don't mean to brag, but I scored
ten points
before Harry's mom said she was tired and needed to go to bed.

She
was tiredâwhat about me? But I still had lots of work to do.

Once I was alone in the living room and the house was completely quiet, I opened the lock-that-doesn't-lock and slid down the leg of the coffee table. The moon shone through the big double doors and I could see that there was a set of metal shelves next to the fireplace. The shelves were spaced close together, which was a lucky break for me, because I could easily climb up and hop onto the mantel.

I haven't had any experience with clocks, but I hoped that I could figure out how this one worked. It was an old-fashioned clock with numbers and handsânot the kind with lighted numbers. The time was exactly 11:25.

There was no way to set the time on the front of the clock, so I moved around to the back. There was a knob there, which I figured must be for setting the time.

I reached up and tried to turn the knob to the right. The thing didn't budge. My Plan wasn't going to work! I sat back down on the mantel and rested.

“Wait a minute, Humphrey,” I squeaked softly to myself. “You turned off Rockin' Aki. Surely you can turn this little knob!”

I felt very determined as I leaped up and grabbed onto the top of the knob with all my might. I don't weigh much, but I hoped that if I could hang on long enough, I'd be heavy enough to move the knob.

I shimmied my body over to the right and tried to yank the knob down.

“Oof!” The knob budged a little bit.

Ding-ding! Ding-ding! Suddenly the chimes rang out.

I dropped back to the mantel.

Ding-ding! Ding-ding! The chimes were so loud, it felt as if they were ringing in my brain. It was enough to give me a huge hamster headache.

Still, I had a Plan and nothing was going to stop me. The ringing stopped, so I leaped up again, hung on for dear life and the knob moved a little more. I let go, then scurried around to the front, checked the time and then returned to the back to move the knob again and again.

My paws were aching. When I went around to check the front of the clock again, I saw that I had set the clock ahead five minutes.

I was afraid to set it too far aheadâthen the Itos might catch on. But maybe five minutes would make a difference.

Feeling unsqueakably pleased with myself, I looked for a way back to my cage. The thought of climbing down the wire shelves made my stomach a little queasy. But on the other side, there was a window with curtains and a long cord hanging down. Perfect! I grabbed onto the cord and began to slide.

“Eeek!” I hadn't realized that this cord would be so slippery. I slid WAY-WAY-WAY faster than when I slide down the cord to the blinds in Room 26! The room was a blur as I zoomed down to the floor, which I hit a little harder than I would have liked.

Once I recovered, I looked up at the clock. It was 11:45 by then. Of course, I knew that it was really only 11:40. I'm so glad I know how to tell time!

I had another lucky break when I got back to the coffee table. There was a footstool next to it and I climbed up easily and hopped back on the table and into my cage.

I was never so happy to crawl into my sleeping hut as I was that night.

And to think, at that moment, Og was alone in Room 26, just swimming around in his tank!

The next morning I was a little sore but anxious to see if all my hard work would pay off. It was a little later in the morning when again, there was a lot of running back and forth through the living room around 9:45.

“We'll be late to church!” Mrs. Ito said, walking into the room in her robe.

“I'm all set,” Mr. Ito answered. He strolled in, completely dressed for the day.

“You make sure the kids are ready,” his wife said. “I'll get dressed.”

Mr. Ito disappeared, and I could hear footsteps upstairs as the whole family hurried around.

They finally reappeared in the living room again, dressed for church.

“Oh, no. We're going to be late again,” Mrs. Ito said, looking at the clock.

“Only five minutes late,” her husband said. “Let's go.”

When they left, I looked up at the clock. It said it was five minutes to ten. But I knew it was really ten minutes to ten. The Itos would probably make it to church on time. Barely.

The rest of the day was QUIET-QUIET-QUIET. I was dozing when Harry came and picked up my cage.

“Come on, Humphrey,” he said. “You can help me with my homework.”

“Eeek!” I squeaked. I wasn't upset about the homework. I was upset because I didn't want to end up in Harry's room for the night. I already had a Plan to give the Itos a little more help.

Thank goodness, when Harry was finished, he carried my cage back downstairs to the table in the living room. My Plan was safe!

When the house was quiet that night after the clock chimed 11:00, I opened the door to my cage, took a deep breath and once again headed up the wire shelves to the mantel. With great effort, I turned the clock forward another five minutes. That would give the Itos an extra ten minutes in the morning.

Hopefully, the next morning I wouldn't be tardy. And neither would Harry.

HUMPHREY'S RULES OF SCHOOL:
Homework can be extremely tiring, especially if you're a classroom pet!

Brisbane Versus Becker

G
ood news! The Itos never suspected what I'd done. In fact, Mrs. Ito noticed that the clock was ten minutes ahead of her watch, so she changed her watch! Mr. Ito did the same thing.

Believe it or not, we got to school five minutes ahead of the bell.

Harry was surprised, his mother was surprised, and Mrs. Brisbane was surprised.

I was not.

“Harry, it's great to see you here on time,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

Mrs. Ito looked a little embarrassed.

“Mrs. Brisbane, I know we got off to a bad start this year,” Mrs. Ito told the teacher. “But I'm really going to do my best to get Harry here on time every single day.”

That made Mrs. Brisbane happy. I was happy, too. I just hope nobody
ever
changes the clock againâexcept for me!

I couldn't wait until recess to tell Og about my adventures. But first, something even more important was going on. The students started their new jobs as Brisbane's Buddies.

“Here's hoping my Plan works,” I told Og.

Rolling-Rosie and Forgetful-Phoebe went to work right away collecting the homework assignments. The two girls put their homework in first. Yes, Phoebe had actually remembered this time! As I was hoping, she'd probably figured it would look BAD-BAD-BAD for a Homework Collector to forget her own assignments.

Thomas never went anywhere without his class log, which he wrote in a
lot.

Mrs. Brisbane kept Helpful-Holly hopping. Holly took attendance and carried the report to the office. Later, Mrs
.
Brisbane asked Holly to tidy up the little library in the back of the room and water her plants.

I think Holly finally got to be as helpful as she wanted.

Hurry-Up-Harry and Slow-Down-Simon made excellent Door and Line Monitors. When it was time for recess, Simon opened the door and Harry led the students down the hall (he couldn't dawdle if he was first in line!). Then Simon closed the door and made sure there were no stragglers at the end of the line (so there was no way for him to race ahead!).

After lunch, there was free time for Tall-Paul and Small-Paul to work on the bulletin board. This was the pair I was most interested in, since they'd never actually talked to each other before.

It was a little hard for me to see what they were doing. I was in my hamster ball while Mrs. Brisbane watched Just-Joey clean up my cage. Once she got him started, she moved over to Og's tank to teach Be-Careful-Kelsey how to take care of
him.

“I hope she's careful with you, Og!” I squeaked, knowing that Joey wouldn't be able to understand me.

“BOING-BOING!” Og twanged cheerfully.

BOOK: School Days According to Humphrey

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