Saven Deception (25 page)

Conscious that these precious moments may
be drawing to a close, I snuggle in close, clinging onto him for dear life.

***

Logan has gone to fetch supplies so I change into my sleep
shorts and shirt and rigorously brush my teeth. Snagging a comb through my
hair, I head back into my bedroom.

Logan is sitting on the edge of my bed
with a tall glass in one hand and two small round pills in the other. He scans
me from head to toe and my cheeks redden. He pats the bed. I jump in and
swallow the tablets in one go. Logan pushes me gently down and pulls the
comforter up under my chin. “You need to sleep. You’ll feel much better in the
morning.”

“I already feel much better,” I admit,
ignoring the fact that my head is pounding like someone is going at it with a
jackhammer. However, my stomach appears to have settled, and without the awful
gunky taste in my mouth, I almost feel human again. “Thank you for looking
after me.”

He hands me the glass of water with an
accompanying silent instruction. I drain it in one go. “Don’t thank me. This is
all my fault for sticking Dante on you.” He sighs.

“Hey.” I pat his hand. “You weren’t the
one who spiked the punch or the one who happily downed glasses of the stuff.
It’s not your fault.”

He stands and looks around.

Rampant panic jumps up and bites me.
“Don’t go!” the words leave my mouth with embarrassing urgency.

“I’m not leaving. I was looking for a
chair. You sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

He moves toward my desk, but I snag his
hand and hold him back. “Sleep beside me.” My heart does a
chugga-chugga
motion in my chest while I wait for his reply.

His eyes search mine as he contemplates my
suggestion. All the while, my heart is tripping over itself. He walks with
purpose toward the bed and toes off his sneakers. My heart all but arrests. He
removes his belt, and his fingers touch the button on his jeans. I scoot over
to the other side of the bed and look away. I’m not sure I have the
self-control to watch him undress and not jump him.

The bed dips slightly as he gets in.
Lining up behind me, he drapes his arm loosely across my waist. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” I whisper. The heat he exudes is
soothing but not as concentrated as usual. My eyelids droop, and though I want
to stay awake to savor every magic moment of being wrapped in Logan’s nurturing
embrace, I’m fighting a losing battle.

“Sadie,” Logan whispers a couple of
minutes later. “Are you awake?”

I’m lost in a halfway land between
consciousness and unconsciousness, and I’m incapable of responding.

His hand smooths over my hair sending a
delectable tremor coursing through me. “I’m sorry for everything. Especially
for what’s about to come. Because I can’t be apart from you any longer.”

I want to respond to the words I’ve longed
to hear, but I’m barely conscious as it is.

His lips graze my cheek as I fall deeper
and deeper into slumber. “I love you, Sadie. Now and forever.”

I snuggle into my warm, soft pillow, murmuring contently.
The pillow moves and my head lolls back and forth. Huh? A light chuckle fully
rouses me. Raising my head, I open my eyes and spot two glistening cerulean
eyes inspecting me. “Good morning, Angel,” Logan says, trailing his hand up and
down my arm. Delicate shivers race all over my skin. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept perfectly.” I smile shyly at him.

“Me too.” He grins and his cute dimples
make an impromptu appearance.

Last night replays in vivid detail in my
mind, and I groan. Flopping down on the actual pillow, I attempt to untangle my
legs, but he’s having none of it. Twisting on his side, he pulls me closer. My
head comes into contact with his inviting chest. He has his shirt on, but heat
still rolls off him in waves. “I like waking up with you.” He traces a finger
across my cheek. My fingertips lightly graze his chin, and his bristly hair
tickles my skin. “Scratch that,” Logan adds, “I
love
waking up with
you.”

His emphasis on the word brings a memory
to the surface. I’m not sure if I dreamed it, but I think he might’ve told me
he loved me last night. If this is one of those occasions where he’s going to
blow hot and cold, I don’t think I can survive it this time. Better to know
now, so I can try to prepare myself. “What now?”

“Now?” He assumes quiet reflection. “Now
I’m going to do something I’ve been dreaming about non-stop since the cave.”
His head tips down and he presses his lips to mine. This kiss is sweet and
desperate, soft and hard, pleasure and need.

My mouth welcomes him like a long-lost
friend as his tongue sweeps against mine. His hands press into the small of my
back, holding me tight against the smooth hard lines of his body. Being held
this way is heavenly, and I cherish every sensation he invokes in me. Our legs
entwine, and suddenly I’m on my back and he’s suspended over me. The kiss
deepens, and my skin feels like it’s on fire. His hips rock against mine, and
heady desire courses through me. This is everything I’ve hoped for and more.
When I’m with Logan like this, nothing else matters.

He is all I need and all I want.

His hand moves slowly under the hem of my
shirt. He moans. I moan. And the kissing and groping gets more frantic. I
suspect where this is going, and I know we need to stop because I’m not ready
to move this fast. However, I don’t have to do anything, because Logan does it
for me, as if he’s perfectly attuned to my mind.

Rolling off me, he lands heavily beside me
with a thump. Throwing a hand over his face, he closes his eyes and blows air
out of his mouth. My chest heaves as painfully as my stomach did last night. I
trace a finger over my swollen, puffy lips as I prop myself up and look over at
him. “Logan?”

He drops his arm and opens his eyes.  He
stares at me, sweltering emotion glistening in his eyes. “I love you.” His eyes
never stray.

My heart starts a happy dance but I urge
caution. “You do?”

“I’ve loved you from the first moment I
laid eyes on you.” He sits up against the headrest and pulls me into his
embrace. His lips brush the top of my hair. “I know it mustn’t have seemed like
that, but there’s so much you don’t know, Sadie. All I’ve done has been done
out of love for you. But I’m essentially selfish, and I can’t stay away from
you anymore. It’s killing me not being with you.”

This can’t be happening. I must be asleep.
Obviously dreaming. “I don’t care about all the reasons—whatever they are—why
we can’t be together. I only care about the reasons why we should.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “I hope
you feel that way when you know the truth.”

“You’re going to tell me?” My eyes bore
into his.

“Yes.” He kisses me quickly. “If you want
to be with me—”

“I do. I want that,” I rush to reassure
him.

He kisses me again. “Well, then you need
to be appraised of all the facts. I …” he trails off, worry dotting his brow.

“You’re that worried?” How bad can it be?

“It’s a lot to take in. More than most
humans
could deal with.”

I don’t miss the deliberate inflection.
Perhaps I should be afraid of what he’s hinting at, but all I feel is
tremendous exhilaration. “So, spill.” My voice betrays my excitement at finally
learning the truth. Irrespective of what it is, I know I’ll handle it. The
truth
will
set us free. I sit cross-legged in front of him.

“Not now. I have to meet my father today,
and it’s probably going to take up most of the day into the night. Tomorrow,
I’m all yours. What do you say? Will you spend the day with me tomorrow?” 

“Of course.” I’m resisting the urge to
pinch myself because if ever there was a pinch-me moment, this is it.

“It’s a date.” He grins widely, and I
smile back at him.

We stare at each other like two lovesick
fools. The charge electrifies the air between us. His eyes smolder and I lean
in and kiss him passionately. When we break the kiss, he looks at me amusedly.
“What was that for?”

“Just because I can.” Then it strikes me.
Nothing is cemented yet. No labels have been agreed. “I mean,” I add, stuttering
ineptly, “I can, can’t I?”

He sits bolt upright and takes my hands in
his, settling me. “It appears I need to clarify things.” He kisses the tip of
my nose and it’s adorably sweet. “I love you. And where I’m from, we only love
once. Our pairing is slightly unconventional, but you are it for me. For
always.”

My heart trills at his words, and I can’t
believe we’ve gone from acute ignorance of each other to declaring ourselves. I
can’t claim to fully understand what he means by that, and while he won’t be
permitted to pledge a commitment to me for life, it’s not like I’m going to
correct him after that proclamation of love. I’m happy to wallow in the fantasy
for now.

“I—” I pause. Caught up in the moment, I
was going to say that I love him too, but I can’t say that, not until I know
that’s what I’m actually feeling. I have no experience with love, so I don’t
know if this is the real deal. Is it enough that he consumes my every waking
thought? That I physically ache each time I see him? That he’s the one unlocking
my heart and un-taping my mouth?

Although he’s hurt me, I don’t want to be
the cause of his pain. But I refuse to lie or mislead him. “I care about you so
much, but no boy has ever told me they love me before. And I haven’t said that
to anyone either, and I … I think I do, but I need to be sure that it’s the
entirety of what I’m feeling. That I’m not influenced by the moment.”

“It’s okay,” he says, making soothing,
circular motions on the back of my hand. “I understand, and it’s fine. It’s
easier for me to put a name to my feelings anyway.”

That’s a supremely odd thing to say.
“What?”

“I’ll explain tomorrow. I love you. I love
you.” He tenderly presses his lips to my forehead.

His declaration resonates with sincerity,
and there’s no doubt in my mind he means every word. I swallow the messy ball
of emotion at the back of my throat. Imploring my tear ducts to cooperate, I
sniffle. I so don’t want to cry.

His lips find mine again and his kiss
claims me. My body sparks to life. We indulge in round two of frantic tongue
tangling and every nerve, cell, bone, and tissue in my body is hotwired with
desire. I’ve only ever dreamed of this, wished for this. The reality is all
that and more.

Logan breaks the embrace first. I’m still leaning
toward him, drooling over him as if he’s mint chocolate ice cream with an extra
dollop of chocolate sauce on top. “We are together now, and I will inform my
father of that. So, no more dates for me—thank God,” he exhales gratefully,
“and no more dancing with boys with grabby hands for you.” He tweaks my nose.
“We good?”

“You mean it? You’re not going to turn
around tomorrow and say it was all a mistake?”

A pained expression flits over his
features. “I’ve hurt you, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.”

“I can forgive you, if what you’re telling
me now is the truth. But please don’t mess with me. I don’t think I can handle
it again.”

He brings my hand to his lips and brushes
his mouth across my skin. “I promise that I’m telling you the truth, and I’m
going nowhere. I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are the only one for
me.”

“Okay.” My grin could light up the entire
city.

“So,” he says, briefly kissing my lips.
“Are we good?”

“We’re good. More than good.” I smile and
kiss him again.

Hoisting me onto his lap, he squeezes my
waist. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. I
will
keep you
safe.” His lips brush my temple.

“You say that a lot.”

“It’s the truth. You mean the world to me,
and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“I believe you.” I squeeze him tight.
Though I
do
believe his intentions are pure, I can’t help wondering if
our definitions of safety are the same. For me, safety is more than physical
protection. Being safe is not returning to the confines of my old life, having
a concrete plan for the future, and being in charge of my own destiny. And it’s
not only that, it’s also hard for me to consider relinquishing control over my
own safety when I’ve been the only one taking care of me these last seventeen
years. Can I trust someone else with my safety? With my heart? With my body and
mind? These are questions I have no answers to right now.

“Tomorrow, when I explain, I’ll need you
to keep an open mind, Sadie. Do you think you can do that?” He looks suitably
worried and little goose bumps form on my skin.

“I can. Don’t worry. There isn’t anything
you can say that’ll scare me off now.”

I caress his face and he sighs
contentedly.  “I hope that’s true, but I’m fearful it’s not.”

***

After Logan leaves, I lie in bed swooning blissfully as if
I’ve been shot with Cupid’s arrow. Slowly, my eyelids grow heavy, and I spend
the rest of the morning dozing in bed.

Once I’m showered and dressed, I head
cautiously into the kitchen.

Tiptoeing over to Jenna’s room, I knock
tentatively on the door. “Jen? Are you in there?” I open the door a smidgeon.
Like most other mornings, her bed is undisturbed. As I recall her disorientated
state last night, an outpouring of concern grips me. I need to stage an
intervention.

I saunter into the living room. Propping
my bare feet up on the couch, I command the screen to life and inattentively
watch TV. Delayed embarrassment confronts me, and I cringe at the prospect of
facing others on campus on Monday. No doubt, the story of my drunken
humiliation is already doing the rounds.

A little icon pops up on the side of the
screen. I click into the app, and my eyes widen when I count over twenty
messages from Jarod. Holy crap. Jarod! I totally forgot about him last night.
He must’ve been so worried.

I open the first message.

JW: Where did you go last
night and why was Logan sneaking out of your apartment this morning? He told me
you were sleeping or I would’ve knocked.

Then I open the last message:

JW: Are you alive? Please
message me or I’m going to get Vin.

That was sent ten minutes ago. Reaching
around the side of the couch, I locate my comm-clip and fix it to my ear. “Call
Jarod,” I command and the line connects.

“Sadie?” Jarod’s worried voice echoes in
my ear.

“I’m fine! Please tell me you haven’t
notified Vin?”

“I was just about to.”

I sag in relief. “Thank God.”

“What happened last night? I was told
there was some altercation between Logan and some dude you were dancing with
and then between Logan and Dante. When I came back to the room, you were gone.
Fern told me you left with him. I was hell-bent on barging over to yours last
night but she convinced me you were okay. Nevertheless, I’ve been going out of
my mind with worry all morning.”

“I’m sorry, Jarod. I should’ve called you
sooner but I’ve been napping since Logan left. Do you know that Dante spiked
the punch?” I stretch my legs out in front of me.

“I heard,” he grits out. “He’s a total
asshole.”

“I was so out of it. I puked and
everything.” I cringe with the memory.

“Attractive,” he teases. “I’d suspected
you were drunk as Mal pulled me away. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

I can sense Jarod mentally chastising
himself. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m fine. I don’t even have a
hangover, and Logan looked after me. Pumped me with water and medication, and
he, um, stayed to make sure I was okay during the night. Honestly, I couldn’t
have been in better hands.”

Jarod harrumphs down the line. “That’s a
matter of opinion,” he says sourly.

“He’s … he’s not a bad guy, Jarod.”