Sad Love (6 page)

Tessa glared at him as she cleaned up.
Alex went outside, and she ran in the bathroom and threw up. When she finished she stood up and rinsed her mouth she saw Ben’s reflection in the mirror.

“You all right Tess?” Ben
asked.

“Yep
-- I think I drank too much last night,” she said, “I feel better now.”

“You headed to
Lucas’s game?”

“Yes, the starting quarterback signed with the Brown’s last night,
Lucas is pretty excited to have more play time,” she said and walked out past him.

“Tess
, why did you go back to him? After all that?”

She sat down and told him everything.

“I chose to give myself to him; there is no turning back now.”

“You real
ly believe that Tess?”

“I do.”

“So someone like me that’s had sex with four people is going to burn in hell?” he asked.

She looked down, “No, he forgives us. Who was four?”

He looked down and shook his head.

“What is wrong with the boys I fall for? They all
like crazy girls,” she smiled.

“
You fell for me, Tess?”

Her face turned red, “I guess I did.”

“Well what happened?”

“The accident,” she whispered.

“Oh I see,” he said and was quiet for a moment. “You love Lucas, Tess?”

“Yes,” she said softly.

“And you loved me?” he asked and held her hand.

“You were different, you were
my friend,” She said and looked at him.

“A
M your friend Tess, always,” he said.

“Why did yo
u sleep with Lauren?”

“I
’m not sure why, now,” he said looking at her.

She looked into his brown eyes. He looked away and laughed.

“I guess I’m human,” she was still looking at his eyes. “Tess, you're making me uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she
looked down. “Thank you Ben.”

“For what?”

“For being you,” she smiled and got up.

Lucas was a rock star; he and Jose connected the same way that he and Tommy used to. She paid no attention to Jenny but felt her staring. When the game was over, Lucas walked up and picked her up and kissed her. She waited for him outside the locker room and he walked out. Jenny didn’t try to talk to him,
good,
she thought.

“Hey baby,” he
lifted her and spun her around.

“Hey yourself my
hotty Rock star,” she kissed him again.

“Dinner?”

“Sure, or do you want to go to camp or see little Luke?”

“All of the above,” he said and took her hand and walked to the Jeep.

She tossed him the keys, “You drive.”

“Okay,” he said.

He got on 81, and he looked at her, she was biting her lip and looking down at him, he smiled.

“Baby what are you thinking?” he asked and kissed her hand.

“Nothing,” she said and threw herself back into the seat.

He put her hand between his legs. “This is not nothing?”

She stroked him over his pants for a bit and stopped and crossed her arms. She wanted him so badly. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and laughed.

“Shut up Lucas.”

“I just don’t get it.” Lucas chuckled.

“Get what?” she asked.

“It’s all yours you should just take it,” he pulled her hand back where he knew she wanted it.

He pulled her hair gently towards him and kissed her. Her hand moved
down unbuttoning his pants. She pulled his erection free and slid her hand down on his hot silky skin. At the base she held him and gently cupped his balls, “That’s nice, Baby,” he moaned.

Tessa felt her face flush as she licked her lips looking at
the pearl forming on the tip of his broad purple crown. She stroked him up and down faster.

“Please baby,” he asked and put his hand up her shirt.

“Lucas no,” she squirmed a bit.

“You love me?” he moaned.

She kissed him, “Yes, but I won’t do that again.” Tessa kissed him and rubbed her thumb around the pre cum and he hissed. She pulled her hand away and sat back in her seat.

He laughed, “There are other thing
s I want to try.”

“No
, Lucas,” she said sternly.

“I don’t think it’s within your control to tell me no,” he chuckled.

Ha!
She thought
now it’s really not going to happen!

~

They pulled into Lucas’s driveway and quietly walked in. Ryan was rocking Luke.

“Hey where is Jade?” Tessa asked quietly.

“She is in the bathroom, and she’s very upset,” Ryan said pointing to the gift basket, “The Lane’s left that sometime last night. Go ahead read it.”

The letter stated that they wanted to see TJ and that they could do this nicely or through the courts. They were disgusted that she was married so soon after Tommy’s death. They expected to be able to see him, and they expected to be contacted by the day’s end.

“She is having a hard time nursing she feels like he isn’t getting enough to eat. She’s a mess,” he said and continued rocking.

“Okay well how is Lukie,” Tessa asked, “May I hold him?”

Ryan stood up, and she sat and held him.

Ryan knocked on the bathroom door.

“Tessa and Lucas are here,” he walked in and closed the door behind him.

“Please don’t look at me.”

“You look beautiful,” Ryan said as she slipped her robe over her shoulders.

He took a towel and dried her hair.

“Absolutely beautiful,” he kissed her neck softly.

“Thanks Ryan, but I feel nasty, my stomach and my ass, my boobs would be great
except they squirt everywhere,” she put toothpaste on her toothbrush.

“You’re crazy Jade, you look no different to me. And just so you are aware
, I want to taste that milk,” he grinned.

She looked up at him trying not to smile.

“I’m crazy?” She laughed, “Don’t you think it’s gross?”

"No Jade
-- anything that comes out of that body is very desirable to me," he said flaring his nose.

“Okay you know we can’t do
anything for at least six weeks.”

“We can ask at your next appointment. Until then I can take care of myself,” he said, and they laughed.

“Thank you,” she hugged him.

“For what?” Ryan asked.

“Taking my mind off all that stuff,” she said. “I love you Ryan”

“So what’s the plan
?” Lucas asked when Jade and Ryan walked in.

Ryan got off the phone with Julie the family law lawyer he had used while fighting his biological parents from trying to regain custody of him and the one he took Jade to a few months back.

“She said we should let them come over and meet him, but no visits with out us present,” Ryan explained as he handed Jade a glass of water.

Jade looked at Tessa, “Will you stay?”

“Of course,” Tessa said.

Jade sent a text and the Lane’s were there within an hour.

“Hello, come in,” Tessa opened the door.

They walked in, and Jade was rocking her son. Jade didn’t look up she just looked at his perfect little face.

“Can I hold Thomas?” Mrs. Lane asked.

Jade looked up, “His name is
Luke.”

“Why would you do that
? We already discussed this?” she snapped.

“Mrs. Lane, Jade named him
Luke Thomas J. the J is after her brothers,” Ryan explained.

“Oh,” she said and looked at
Lucas, “I suppose it’s after you.”

“I suppose,” Lucas said coldly.

“May I hold him?” She asked again.

“Could you sit down?” Jade asked softly.

“I guess,” she said, and Jade handed her baby Luke.

“He looks just
like Tommy,” she began to cry.

Jade sat on one side of her and Mr. Lane on the other.

“Does he sleep a lot?” she asked quietly.

“During the day,” she said quietly.

“Can you tell me all about him?” She asked.

“Can I ask what your intentions are?” Jade asked.

“To get to know my grandson,” she scowled at Jade.

“I don’t believe you,” Jade said.

“Jade honey…” Ryan started.

“Ryan
--so how does it feel to take Tommy’s place?” Mrs. Lane asked.

“I am not taking his place,” Ryan response was kind and gentle.

“Well you most certainly are,” Mrs. Lane snapped.

“Please give me
Luke and leave,” Jade said.

“No,” she
pulled him closer to her.

Jade looked terrified, “Give me my baby.”

“Give her the baby,” Mr. Lane said.

She cried and then after a few minutes handed him to Jade.

Jade let out a breath and held him closely. He opened his eyes and yawned.

“Hello baby,
” tears fell down her face.

She kissed him
and held him as she shook. Jade was terrified that they would take him from her. She couldn’t have imagined how much someone could love something so small. He held her heart in his tiny little hands and he didn’t even know it yet. Jade stared at his face as she took deep calming breaths. He absolutely looked like Tommy. Perfect and beautiful. She closed her eyes and knew that the Lane’s hearts must be breaking because hers would never be the same if they took him from her.

“Would you like to hold him?” She asked Thomas.

Thomas Lane was a calm gentle man. He reminded Jade of Tommy. The way he looked at his wife, even when he knew she was wrong, love poured from his eyes.

“I would Jade, thank you,” Thomas said.

He looked at him and smiled. “Hello Luke, you’re beautiful, your father would sure love you.”

“
He would wouldn’t he?” Jade fought her tears.

“He looks happy Jade, your going to be a great mother,” Thomas said.

“He’s going to want to eat in about five minutes,” she said.

“Can I fe
ed him?” he asked.

“No sorry, you don’t
have the right parts,” Jade blushed.

Tessa made dinner and Ryan invited them to stay. Mr. Lane accepted.

Jade held Luke close and sat next to Mrs. Lane when dinner was at the table. They both looked nervously at one another most of the time.

“I want him to know you. I won’t keep you from him,” Jade whispered.

By the end of the meal, Mrs. Lane was holding her grandchild in her arms telling him about the son she lost. Jade looked at Thomas Lane several times and each time he smiled softly, appreciatively at the mother of his beloved son’s child easing Jade’s angst and fear, just like Tommy would have wanted.

The week went by fast
. Neither Tessa nor Lucas had class on Wednesday due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Lucas and Jose spent the night at camp with Alex and Ryan. Tessa was going to Jade’s with the girls to hang out with baby Luke.

Tessa left
Jade’s at five in the morning to help her mother make Thanksgiving dinner. She got out of the Jeep, and threw up immediately. Ben walked out of the barn with rope.

“Tess
… are you okay?”

“Yes,” she wiped her mouth,
“I must still have a little bit of a bug.”

“Oka
y, can I get you anything?” Concern shown in his eyes.

“No
thank you, just don’t say anything, please. I don’t want everyone trying to baby me.”

He looked at her, “Tess you sure you're alright?”

“See just like that, I am fine, go I don’t know, hang something with that,” she laughed pointing at the rope.

“Should I hang
Lucas?” he winked at her and she shoved him in jest.

He got in
his truck and pulled out. He watched as she threw up again in his rearview mirror.

~

Jade brought baby Luke and Tessa did her best to stay away, she didn’t want him to get sick.

They all ate
Thanksgiving dinner swapping hunter tales, and chatting about Football. When the guys all went to watch football Tessa helped clean up. She packed up a bunch of left over’s, sweet potatoes, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, and turkey insisting Jade and Ryan take it home.