Run to You (24 page)

G
abby sat at the back of the church, knuckles pressed against her lips. The Haven Baptist Church was filled to bursting today. She'd come early and still taken one of the last seats. It seemed the whole town had come out to pay their respects to Dixie.

Through the sea of people, she saw three heads up front, apart from the crowd. Three big, strong men sitting together in the front row, Ethan's tousled blond hair in the middle. Mark and Ryan would become his family now, the only family he had left.

He'd been solemn, stoic, as he delivered the eulogy, but the heartfelt memories he'd shared hadn't left a dry eye in the house. Dixie had touched so many lives, been loved by so many people. Even Gabby.

The room spun out of focus as tears flooded her eyes. She wanted to be up front with Ethan. She wanted to hold his hand and kiss away his tears and help him through this. Because she was absolutely heartbroken, and she'd known Dixie for only a month and a half.

“And now, I'd like us all to bow our heads and pray,” the pastor said from the front of the church.

Gabby bowed her head and closed her eyes, feeling two tears trail down her cheeks.

I'm so sorry, Ethan.

The pastor spoke again, and then everyone was standing up, and the church filled with the murmur of voices. Gabby rose, grabbing on to the pew in front of her to steady herself, still off balance with the stupid boot on her left foot. Someone jostled her from behind, and she shuffled toward the aisle.

People crowded around Ethan, lining up for the chance to express their condolences. She needed to talk to him, needed desperately to apologize, to tell him how sorry she was for what he was going through. She wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him she loved him and beg him for a chance to see if this could work for real.

But she wouldn't line up with the rest of the town. She would wait until she could talk to him in private.

As she stood watching, he turned his head, and their eyes met. His were dark and empty. So empty. And yet the force of his gaze almost knocked her to her knees. Her whole body sizzled with it.

He'd avoided her calls all week, but he couldn't avoid her forever. They weren't finished. Not even close. Not if she had anything to say about it.

Ethan stood beside Gram's grave. While he'd been at home—at Gram's house—being plied with casseroles and condolences by everyone in town, she'd been quietly lowered into the earth. Dead. Buried. Gone.

She lay beside her husband, Thomas Hunter, whom Ethan had never met but who, by all accounts, had been a great guy. A few feet to the left lay the empty plot Gram had bought for her daughter, Dawn. Since no one had known her relation to the Hunters at the time of her death, Dawn had been buried in Silver Springs, where she'd died.

Neither Gram or Ethan had been able to bring themselves to sign the order to have her dug up and moved. So she remained in death how she'd lived her life…separated from her family.

Ethan stared down at the freshly turned earth marking Gram's final resting place. He imagined her up on the zip-line at Off-the-Grid, grinning from ear to ear as she soared over the forest. Why the fuck had she died before she got the chance to do that? Why hadn't he insisted she ride it weeks ago, when she'd still had time?

His throat swelled painfully.

“Ethan.”

Gabby's voice filtered through the roaring in his ears, and he didn't know whether to yell or kiss her. He turned slowly and saw her standing at the edge of the little cemetery, still wearing the black dress she'd worn to the funeral, her hair pulled back from her face. And just the sight of her made him lose his fucking mind.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was harsh, cold.

“Looking for you.” She walked slowly toward him, her gait hindered by the boot on her left foot.

“Well, you found me.” He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his black pants, wondering why he was still wearing the suit he'd worn to the funeral. Why hadn't he changed when he'd gone back to Gram's house after the service?

Why hadn't he taken Gram on the zip-line last week?

Why had Gabby betrayed him?

“I'm so sorry, Ethan. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now.”

Yeah, he'd heard that before. So. Many. Fucking. Times.

“And I'm sorry for telling your grandmother the truth about our relationship.” Gabby wrung her hands and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “I mean, I'm not sorry about how it turned out, but I'm so sorry for breaking your trust. I never should have done it.”

“No, you shouldn't have, and I can't really imagine how you're not sorry about how this all turned out. What the fuck, Gabby?” His fists clenched inside the pockets of his pants.

She blanched. “Not
this
. I would have done anything to keep her from dying, but Ethan…she knew. Don't you see? She already knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That we were fooling her. She said”—Gabby choked on a harsh laugh—“she said she knew you better than to believe you'd fall for me so quickly.”

He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a sob.
Shit.
Gram had known all along. Why had he ever thought he could fool her? “She always did know me better than anyone else. It still didn't give you the right to spill your guts like you did just to ease your own damn conscience. We had an agreement, Gabby, and you blew it.”

She nodded, the movement jerky. “I did. I know. And I've been trying to apologize to you for a whole damn week.”

“Well, forgive me. I've been busy burying my grandmother.”

She sucked in a breath. “And I wish I could have been there with you for that.”

Her quiet words were knives to the gut because he wished that, too, somewhere deep inside. Something felt off…empty…without her. Which meant this whole thing was doubly disastrous because he'd stayed with Gabby for too long, let her become more than just a meaningless fling. “Deal's off. Gram's dead. You can go back to your own life now.”

She took a hesitant step closer. “What if I don't want to?”

He inhaled sharply. “What are you saying?”

“I wasn't looking for a relationship, and I never would have jumped in so quickly with you if not for our deal.” She paused, and when she looked up, the emotion in her eyes punched him hard, making his heart ache. “But your grandmother was right, at least for me. I did fall for you, Ethan, for real.”

He saw the truth of her words reflected in her caramel eyes, and a warm feeling grew in his chest, seeping into the cold emptiness that had lived there since Gram died, since he'd walked out on Gabby after the Adrenaline Rush last weekend.

Then he glanced over his shoulder at his grandparents' graves, at the empty grave beside them where his mother ought to be. And he remembered the man who had put her there, the same man whose DNA flowed through Ethan's veins. “Don't do that. Don't make this more than it is. Sure, the chemistry between us was real. But that's all it was…chemistry. And chemistry has a habit of either fizzling or exploding. Guess what?
Boom.
We exploded.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. If you're too scared to see if this could be a real relationship for us, then at least man up and say so.”

He swung to face her, but no smart comeback rose on his tongue. He was just so fucking tired. “Just go home, Gabby.”

She, too, looked defeated. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“For a few more weeks anyway,” he said. What was she spouting all this about feelings anyway? She was leaving town soon, and he'd never leave Haven.

She looked down at her feet. “Right.”

“Good-bye, Gabby.” And since she didn't make any immediate move to leave, he pushed past her and walked to the Jeep. Because every moment with her stirred all kinds of emotions inside him that he didn't want to feel. Ever again.

Gabby stood alone in the cemetery, staring at the freshly turned earth over Dixie's grave.
Please don't give up on him
, Dixie had said to her that afternoon in the hospital. “I haven't, Dixie. I'm trying.”

She sat next to Dixie's grave and hung her head. “I do love him, but I have no idea what he's feeling or what to do. He's so hurt and angry right now.” Her voice broke, and tears streaked her cheeks. “I miss you too, you know? You were a pretty awesome lady. Ethan was so lucky to have you in his life.”

She sat for a few minutes, arms clasped around her knees, listening to the birds chirping and the wind rustling in the tree branches overhead. “I don't know if he'll want to try for a real relationship with me, but I promise you he'll be okay. He's got Ryan and Mark to look out for him and Off-the-Grid to keep him busy. And I'll stick around long enough to give him a chance to change his mind about us, I promise you that, too.”

She closed her eyes. It'd been a long time since she'd been to a cemetery or grieved a loss like this. She'd known Dixie only a short time, but she was one of those people that made a big impression. Gabby would always remember her warm smile and vibrant personality, the way she'd waltzed right in and taken Gabby under her wing when she'd been trying to hide away from the world in her cabin.

A loud buzzing sounded near her ear, and her eyes snapped open. A dark shape hovered beside her head, and
oh my God
, it was the biggest bug she'd ever seen. The horror of the yellow jacket attack reared in her memory, and this time Ethan wasn't there to save her.

She swatted at the thing with a shriek, but when it zipped off to the side, she saw that it wasn't a bug at all. It was a hummingbird, and
oh
, it was actually adorable! She'd never seen one in person before, had no idea that their wings moved so fast that they made the same buzzing sound as an insect.

The little bird hovered for a moment, looking at her, its wings a blur of movement, then it darted off in search of nectar in the nearby trees. She watched as it poked around in the honeysuckle blooms lining the perimeter of the cemetery, and with a smile, she remembered the honeysuckle body spray she used every morning.

The one Ethan liked so much.

Maybe the little bird had liked it, too.

She climbed to her feet, still awkward in the boot. Today marked a week since her accident, and her ankle no longer hurt unless she walked too much on it. She had an appointment on Monday to see about getting the boot off, and she couldn't wait.

Because she had some
very
important things to do once she could walk on her own again.

“I'll be back, Dixie, okay?” She wasn't sure why she was talking to the woman's grave, but she couldn't seem to help herself. “I'll be sure to let you know how things turn out, and if I leave town, I'll come and say good-bye before I go.”

E
than gave the equipment a final check. He'd already checked and rechecked everything, but somehow, just minutes before Off-the-Grid officially opened for business, he found himself up on the platform going over it all one last time.

“All good?” Mark called from the ground.

“Ready to rock and roll,” Ethan said.

“Now let's hope someone actually shows up for a ride today,” Ryan said with a wry smile.

Because of the delay caused by the Town Council, they hadn't been able to hype any kind of grand opening event, but the Adrenaline Rush had helped to get their name out. A lot of people had signed up for their newsletter and followed them on social media.

So it was feasible a few people might show up. Ryan's rock-climbing lessons and Mark's survival skills classes had to be booked in advance, so they were banking solely on zip-line rides today. Until they'd built up more of a clientele, this would be their main event.

“Well,” Ryan said. “It's almost ten so I'm going to mosey on over to the office and get ready just in case.”

“I bet someone will show up.” Ethan came down the steps from the platform, walking toward the house between Mark and Ryan. “And we'll make sure they have the time of their lives and invite all their friends to come back tomorrow.”

“I think we'll see our first real business this weekend,” Ryan said. “By then, word will be out that we're open. People will be looking for something fun to do on their day off, and some of the tourists in town might be curious, too.”

“I think you losers are way overthinking this.” Mark opened the back door and led the way inside.

The clock on the wall in the newly converted lobby read nine fifty-nine. They all stood staring at the front door as if it was going to burst open promptly at ten and fill the reception area with eager adventurers.

It didn't.

Nothing happened at ten o'clock. Or ten fifteen. They grew bored of watching the front door and turned to their own devices. Ethan played
Candy Crush
on his phone, trying like hell not to think about how bad he wished Gram were here taking that first ride on the zip-line. Ryan sat in his office inputting numbers into a spreadsheet. And Mark puttered around in the kitchen doing…well, Ethan had no idea what he was doing, but it involved peanut butter and the food processor.

“We're going to need a better way to manage our time than sitting around waiting for customers to show up,” Ethan said at ten thirty after they'd spent a half hour doing just that.

Ryan poked his head out of his office. “Speak for yourself. I've been busy in here.”

“I beat level three hundred in
Candy Crush
.” Ethan waved his phone in the air.

“I can keep an eye on things here if you want to get some stuff done on the property,” Ryan said. “There's a checklist of low-priority things I left on the table in the kitchen.”

“On it.” Mark snatched up the note and headed for the back door.

Outside, a car pulled into the lot. Ethan, Ryan, and Mark all stared at the front door.

“This could be our lucky day,” Ryan said.

Ethan stepped behind the reception counter, ready to greet whoever came in the front door and hoping like hell it would be a paying customer and not someone from the Town Council checking to see if they'd maimed any tourists yet.

The door opened, and Shirley Meyers, the town nurse, walked in with Marlene Goodall at her side. Both women wore sweatpants and T-shirts, looking ready for their aerobics class…or maybe even a zip-line ride.

“Morning, ladies.” Ethan greeted them with a big smile. “What can I do for you?”

Shirley put her hands on the counter. “Well, you see, I made a deal with your grandmother, and I'm here to uphold my end of the bargain even though she's not here to see it.”

Ethan's smile faltered. “What?”

“Well, hon, she talked me into going on that zip-line with her. Me, Marlene, Victoria, Joan…and I'm not sure how many others. We were all supposed to ride together, but now we're here to ride in her honor.” Shirley paused, and her expression softened. “She promised it would be fun and that we're not too old.”

Ethan swallowed past the hard lump in his throat. “She was right. It'll be one of the most exhilarating experiences you've ever had, and there is absolutely no age limit.”

“That's good news because I just turned seventy-two,” Marlene said. “I've been thinking it looked kind of exciting every time I've been out here.”

“Truth be told, I'm terrified,” Shirley said. “But a promise is a promise, and I would do anything for Dixie. I'm honored to ride that zip-line for her.”

The front door opened, and two more women walked in, Gram's friends Victoria and Dorothy, followed by Joan. By the time Ethan had gotten their paperwork, the crowd in the lobby had grown to ten, all friends of Gram's and all over the age of sixty. Ryan joined Ethan to help get everyone paid and waivers signed.

“The full zip-line tour will take about an hour and a half,” Ethan said. “I'll give everyone the safety spiel and demonstration here on the ground, and then I'll take you up on the platform.”

The women nodded, their faces ranging in expression from genuine excitement to complete horror. Ethan walked them through all the safety information they would need while Ryan and Mark went around fitting them with harnesses.

Ethan led them up the steps to the platform, and ten minutes later, Shirley soared out over the treetops. She let out a screech that startled birds out of the trees.

“Oh, Lordy,” Marlene said as Ethan clipped her harness onto the line.

“Don't you worry,” Victoria told her. “I think she just had the time of her life.”

Sure enough, by the time Ethan had gotten them all across the first zip-line and joined them on the next platform, the general consensus was that it had been fun. And two hours later, as he led them through the woods back to the house, they were chattering excitedly and showing off selfies they'd taken along the way.

If only Gram could have been here to ride with them.

An empty feeling settled in his chest, nagging at him through the rest of the day. Grief, maybe. But the woman whose face he saw when he closed his eyes smelled like honeysuckle and felt like home every time he held her in his arms. And it had been a long fucking time since he'd held her in his arms.

He pushed Gabby out of his mind as a young couple entered the lobby. They had a handful of afternoon zip-line customers, but nothing like the morning marathon of Gram's friends. By closing time, they were restless, a combination of excitement and boredom, and so they found themselves, by unspoken mutual agreement, sharing a pitcher of beer and a platter of wings at Rowdy's.

“To Gram,” Ryan said as he lifted his frosted mug.

“To Gram.” Ethan clunked his beer to Ryan's as Mark chimed in beside him.

The three of them drank in silence. Ethan's beer splashed into the gaping void inside him, cold and unsatisfying.

“Doesn't feel real that she's gone.” Ryan set his mug on the table.

“But she sure as hell saved our asses today,” Mark said quietly.

“It's true,” Ryan said. “Thanks to her, our first day was a pretty decent success. And if any of those ladies are half as chatty as Gram was, they'll send more business our way.”

“We can hope.” Ethan stared into his beer.

“I
know
those ladies are chatty.” Mark chuckled as he plucked a wing off the platter.

“It was a good start. I made notes on areas where we can improve,” Ryan said. Then as Ethan and Mark both gave him dirty looks, he added, “Yo, just doing my job. We'll figure out the rough spots as we go. Someone booked a survival skills class through the website today.”

“Yeah?” Mark's dark eyes gleamed. “That's cool.”

“Great,” Ethan said.

“You were right,” Ryan told him. “Thanks for dragging our sorry asses back to Haven to do this with you. Off-the-Grid is going to be epic.”

“Yeah.” But Ethan couldn't muster any excitement of his own. It was going to be great, no doubt. And he'd feel like celebrating soon. Just when he didn't feel like an empty shell about to be crushed under the weight of his own misery.

Ryan snagged a wing off the pile and pointed it in Ethan's direction. “You going to tell us why we haven't seen Gabby around lately?”

“Gram's gone.”

“And? Please don't tell me you just ditched her when Gram died.”

“Not just because Gram died, but that was our agreement, after all.”

“Shit, man.” Ryan shook his head. “That's harsh. You could have at least stayed with her through the funeral.”

“And don't even pretend it was all fake.” Mark gave him a look Ethan imagined might have made the men under him in the Army squirm in their uniforms. “Because you're not that good an actor.”

Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “The chemistry was real. But then she told Gram the truth about our relationship.”

“Why the fuck would she do that?” Ryan asked.

Ethan shrugged because he still didn't know. “She claims it was a combination of her conscience and pain meds.”

Mark shook his head. “She wouldn't last a minute in the military.”

Ryan laughed. “No kidding. But seriously, that blows. Was Gram upset?”

“That's the kicker. Apparently Gram was on to us from the start. She was just playing along hoping we'd fall for real while we were pretending.”

“And I'd say she was right,” Ryan said.

Ethan's chest felt too tight. “That's what Gabby said, too. My fucking fault for even pretending to have a real relationship.”

“So she fell for your sorry ass, huh?” Ryan shook his head as he bit into another wing.

“Apparently.”

“And you dumped her rather than see if there might be anything real on your end, too?”

Ethan set his mug down so hard, beer sloshed on the table. “I dumped her because of what she did to Gram.”

“Which was apparently only telling her something she already knew,” Ryan said. “And that sucks, but in the end, no harm was done. Are you sure none of this has anything to do with baggage from your own fucked-up childhood?”

“What are you, a shrink?” Ethan glared at him. “Who fucking cares if my lousy childhood is why I don't want to settle down and get married?”

“Because if you're holding back because you're afraid you'll turn into your father, then that's a problem.”

Ethan slammed his fist into the table. “Dammit, we all know I have his temper. Forgive me for being smart enough to realize it before I put myself in a situation where I might do something unforgivable.”

Ryan and Mark both stared, their expressions almost comical.

“Fuck you both.” Ethan shoved back from the table.

“Sit your ass back down,” Ryan said, his voice harder than Ethan had ever heard. He sat. “I should have seen this and set you straight sooner. I'm sorry I didn't. But I'm telling you now…you do
not
have your father's temper.”

“No?” His fists clenched. “You haven't been hassling me all summer to watch myself in front of the Town Council?”

“Oh yeah, you're hotheaded, and you run your tongue like an asshole sometimes, but would you ever hit a woman?” Ryan leaned forward, slamming his own fist onto the table. Heads swiveled in their direction.

Ethan stared into his beer. “I'd like to say no, but I'm not willing to take the chance.”

“That's bullshit,” Mark said. “Have you ever raised your fist at a woman? Ever felt even the tiniest urge to hit the woman you're with?”

“No. Shit, no.” He glanced toward the bar, saw the bartender watching, making sure they weren't about to brawl.

“That's because you'd never do it,” Ryan said. “I've known you since you were ten, man. Even when you were a punk-ass teenager picking fistfights left and right, you've never given me any reason to believe you'd ever be anything but a fucking knight in shining armor for your future wife.”

“It's true,” Mark said.

“Doesn't matter.” Ethan shook his head. “I'm happy with my dating life the way it is. No reason to change things.”

“Are you happy?” Ryan asked. “Because you look miserable.”

“I buried my grandmother two days ago, asshole.”

“I bet Gabby could put a smile on your face,” Mark said. “If you let her.”

“Gabby and I are done.” He couldn't go there. Not now. Not ever.

“Now I realize I'm no expert on the subject”—Ryan held his hands up in front of himself—“but from where I was standing, you and Gabby looked pretty hung up on each other these last few weeks.
Both
of you. And now you look miserable without her. I think we've established that you'd never, ever hit her. So why the fuck aren't you driving to her house right now, begging for another chance?”

By the time he left Rowdy's that night, Ethan wanted nothing more than to drive to Gabby's house, yank her into his arms, and lose himself in her warm, welcoming body. But wanting her didn't mean it was a good idea, and anyway he was too toasted to do anything other than stagger home with Mark and Ryan. He climbed the stairs to his condo, slammed the door behind him, and collapsed onto the bed, asleep before his head hit the pillow.

He woke to a dull ache in his head and the all-familiar and overpowering ache for Gabby, one that he was beginning to think might be a permanent morning status. Would he ever stop needing her this way?

Because he'd certainly never spent two months wanting the same woman before. By now, the flame between them should have burned out. So why was she still the last thing on his mind when he went to bed and the first thing on his mind when he awoke?