Run Johnboy Run: The Glasgow Chronicles 2 (10 page)

  “Pat, Ah’m jist aboot tae heid oot ae that door in two seconds flat.  Dae Ah hiv tae spell it oot?”

  “Naw, Ah’ll talk tae him.”

  “Aye, ye dae that.  Noo, if ye don’t mind, Ah’ll be oan ma way up the road.  Don’t get up, Ah’ll manage masel.”

  Helen heard him before he knocked oan the door.  Betty hid arrived, last minute as usual, even though she jist lived next door, oan the same landing.  Helen hid jist hid time tae push Betty hauf way up the stairs that led tae the lassies’ bedroom, tae staun at the wee windae that looked doon oan tae Helen’s kitchen-come-living-room, when he chapped oan the ootside door.

  “Remember, Betty, any shite and ye make sure ye’re doon here, like a shot.”

  “Don’t ye worry, Helen, hen.  When these hauns ae mine grab a clump ae that wee ratty hair ae his, he’ll wish he wis born a cat,” she’d retorted, flexing her fingers before disappearing.

  Helen opened the door before aboot turning and casually strolling alang the lobby, intae her kitchen and back tae her seat.  She made sure he sat wae his back tae the wee windae high up oan the wall.  Fae where she wis sitting, she could see Betty peering doon.

  “Thanks fur seeing me, Helen,” Squeaky Voice squeaked, searching and finding his note pad and pencil in the pocket ae his crumpled raincoat.

  “Ye’ve goat five minutes.  Whit dae ye want?”

  “Ah wis wanting tae go o’er some details wae ye aboot the polis harassing yer son and his wee pals,” he said, licking the end ae his pencil and writing the date at the tap ae the page, ready tae start jotting doon whit she wis gonnae inform him.

  “Who said ma son and his pals hiv been getting harassed?” she replied, as his pencil ground tae a sudden halt oan the blank page and he looked o’er at her wae a surprised look oan that coupon ae his.

  “Bit, er, Ah thought, er...”

  “Ah hivnae said that,” she interrupted.

  “Bit, Ah wis telt ye’re gonnae help me wae ma scoop.”

  “No by me, ye wurnae,” she retorted.

  “So why am Ah here then?” he squeaked, a confused look appearing across that face ae his.

  “Pat Molloy asked me nicely tae see ye, as wan friend tae another.  Ah’ve seen ye and ye’ve seen me.  Is there anything else Ah kin dae ye fur...Sammy?” she said, taking his wee card oot ae her apron pocket and slinging it across at him.

  They yellow eyes and teeth baith flashed at the same time.  She wis jist aboot tae shout fur Betty, while at the same time, gie him a swift kick in they baws ae his, when he started tae shuffle his hauns in his raincoat pocket.  He pulled oot a thick wedge ae pound and five pound notes and looked o’er at her.  Helen held her breath.

  “So how much ur ye efter then?”

  “Fur whit?”

  “Yer story.”

  “How much hiv ye goat?”

  “Listen, Helen, let’s no fuck aboot and we’ll hiv less ae yer cackle, eh?  Ah’ll pay ye ten pounds and ye kin tell me whit Ah want tae know.”

  Helen could feel the rage building up in her.  She couldnae believe this wee scurrying sewer rat-face ae a man hid the cheek tae speak tae her like this in her ain hoose.  She felt flushed wae anger and wis jist aboot tae go fur him when she spotted Betty at the windae above his heid.  Betty wis furiously shaking her heid and mouthing ‘naw’ while at the same time, wagging her finger at Helen.  Helen couldnae help bursting oot laughing.  The effect wis dramatic.  The Rat sat back oan the chair as if she’d slapped him across that hatchet face ae his.  He sat scowling in bewilderment at her, blinking furiously, as though he’d jist crawled oot ae a drainpipe intae the sunlight.

  “If Ah jist telt ye that ye’d fucked right up. Whit wid ye say?”

  “Sorry?” he squeaked.

  “Hiv ye spoken tae the maws ae the other boys yet?” she asked, knowing fine well whit the answer wid be.

  “They won’t talk tae me efter yer recent performance doon at Central when ye goat aw the boys released withoot any charges.  They said they’d only talk tae me if ye gied them the go-aheid.”

  “Right, ye’ve hid your say…noo it’s ma turn.  Ah’ll talk tae ye and tell ye whit Ah’ve goat tae say.  It’ll cost ye and there’s nae negotiating or ye kin piss aff right oot ae that front door,” she scowled, nodding tae the kitchen door that stood ajar. “And when ye agree and Ah tell ye ma side ae the story, that’s it.  Ah don’t want ye harassing me or ma pals again.”

  “Sounds fair enough tae me.  So, whit dae ye want?”

  “Ah want ye tae put thirty ae they crisp pound notes and fivers that ye’ve goat burning a hole in that haun ae yers oan tae ma kitchen table o’er there and an agreement that yersel and a photographer fae The Glesga Echo will turn up and report oor next warrant sale demonstration which is taking place at sixty eight John Street this coming Thursday at ten o’clock.”

  Silence.

  She could hear the clock oan the mantelpiece quietly ticking away.  She didnae want tae look up and see whit Betty wis up tae, although she could detect her movement, oot ae focus, jist above that heid ae his.  He looked stunned.  She wisnae quite sure if he wis gonnae greet or bawl.  His wee ratty face and eyes wur bouncing aw o’er the shoap as if somewan hid picked him up and gied him a wee shake.  He fidgeted in his seat and then looked doon at the stash in his hauns.  He made wan last stand.

“Ye’ve goat tae be jesting me…surely?”

  “And ye’ve jist overstayed yer welcome,” Helen said, staunin up, wincing as she heard her knees crackle.

  “Wait a minute…Helen,” he squealed in panic.  “Kin we no talk aboot this… please?”

  “Ur ye still here?” she growled at him.  “Dae ye want tae walk oot ae that door oan yer ain two feet un-molested or tae take the fast way doon?” she asked him threateningly, nodding across tae the windae.

  “Right, okay…oan wan condition.”

  “Ah thought Ah telt ye there wis nae negotiating?”

  “As well as access tae the maws, the deal his tae include a face-tae-face wae the boys.”

  “Fur a start, this is between us. If Ah find oot that ye’ve approached ma ten year auld boy or any ae his pals, Ah’ll hiv ye arrested fur harassing a minor.  Ah don’t think the boys up in the Bar-L wid take too kindly tae somewan charged fur molesting weans, dae you?  And another thing, If Ah introduce ye tae the other wummin, the negotiations oan how much that costs ye starts aw o’er again.  Take it or leave it, Speedy Gonzales.”

Chapter Eleven

   Wan minute they’d been sitting looking doon at the canal in front ae the briquette plant, sooking the life oot ae their frozen Orange Jubblys and sharing a bottle ae Tizer that Joe hid nicked oot ae Sherbet’s, and the next, they wur heiding fur the copper sheets up oan the roof at the back ae the records building in Sighthill cemetery.  They could see the building, away in the distance, fae where they’d been sitting up oan Jack’s Mountain.

  “Whit’s that building away o’er there between the new hooses?” Johnboy hid asked, peering between the scaffold-covered multi-storey buildings that wur gaun up in Sighthill in the distance.

  “Which wan?”

  “Er, the only wan that we kin see apart fae the new skyscrapers being built.”

  “Ah cannae see anything, kin you, Tony?”

  “Dae ye mean the wan wae the green roof, surrounded by gravestanes?”

  “Aye.”

  “That’s oor pocket money fur the next week.  That’s the building we looked at efter tanning The Big Man’s loft and nicking aw his good doos. That’s the copper sheets we spoke aboot tae Roger The Dodger yesterday.”

  Rodger The Dodger wis the scrap dealer who hid the wee scrap metal shoap oan the corner ae St James Road and McAslin Street.  The Mankys thought he wis a right robber, whose scrap scales wur even dodgier than he wis.  They’d jist stripped oot a ten feet length ae lead water pipe fae an ootside landing cludgie up in Ronald Street.  The building hid looked empty, although Tony and Joe hid found oot later that there wur two hooses oan the tap flair that still hid people living in them.  They’d only found oot because Tony hid heard his ma telling his da aboot the shame it wis, efter Mary Kennedy and her man hid spent the rest ae the day gaun back and forth tae their hoose wae pans ae water. Joe
hid managed tae break wan end ae the pipe by bending it back and forward o’er the waste pipe attached tae the toilet bowl.  When the water hid started pishing oot…a sure sign that the tenement wis still occupied…Johnboy hid been aw fur legging it, bit Tony and Joe wur hivving none ae that.  Wan ae them hid put his haun o’er the burst tae stoap the water spraying aw o’er the place, while the other wan started gieing it big laldy.  Wance the bottom end hid broken aff, it hid only taken aboot two minutes tae snap aff the tap part, using the ceiling as leverage where it disappeared through the hole.

  “Goat ye, ya basturt, ye!” Joe hid shouted, as he jumped aff the lavvy pan and oan tae the landing, dripping wae water, wae the big bit ae lead pipe in his hauns.

  A fountain ae gushing water hid shot up, bouncing aff the ceiling and pishing aw o’er the place…bit within two minutes, they’d been arguing wae Roger o’er they dodgy scales ae his.

  “Rodger, there’s at least twenty five pound ae lead there.”

  “Is there fuck, ya cheeky wee tinker.  Ma scales say twelve and they never lie.  Ah wid’ve guessed ten masel personally.”

  “So, how much is that then?”

  “Fourpence a pound, so that’s four bob.”

  “It wis a tanner yesterday, ya robber, ye.”

  “See, that’s why Ah’m the scrappy and youse ur the wans that jist hiv tae go oot and find the stuff.  Ah’m the wan that takes aw the risks aboot here.  Wan day Ah gie ye a good price and the next, the prices shoot through the flair and Ah’m left haudin that big tadger ae mine wae naewhere tae put it.  Take it or leave it…whit’s it tae be?”

  “We’ll take it, ya robbing tit, ye.  Gie’s oor money, and don’t bother trying tae slip in any ae they Irish coins.  We’ll be checking them before we leave.”

  “How come it says oan that board ae yers that it’s a tanner a pound?” Johnboy hid asked.

  “Because that’s whit the price wis this morning,” Rodger hid replied, wiping the chalked sixpence price wae his haun and writing fourpence in its place.

  “So, will the price ae copper still be wan and eightpence the morra?” Joe hid asked, as they aw looked at the board.

  “Whit hiv ye goat?”

  “Sheets.”

  “Aye, if Ah kin get ma scales tae work right.  There’s nae use me robbing masel blind when Ah kin rob youse noo, is there?” the dodgy basturt hid tittered, as if the boys wur his pals and goat the joke.

  Wance they wur up oan the roof, it only took them aboot hauf an hour tae strip the side that wis hidden fae busy Springburn Road.  The first sheet wis difficult tae prise loose, bit wance that wis aff, there wis nae stoapping them.  They’d aboot twenty five sheets, each wan aboot ten feet long, lying oan the ground at the back ae the building.  Joe hid been telling them aboot a boy he’d met in The Grove who wis in fur cutting the solid copper lightning conductors aff ae the new multi-storey buildings where he lived.  He said the conductors wur aboot two inches wide, aboot a hauf ae an inch thick and wur a couple ae hunner feet high tae the tap ae the building.  Whit ye hid tae dae wis get the bolts aff that wur keeping it attached tae the building at the bottom and then pull the strip oot fae the wall.  Using the loosened copper strip as a climbing rope, ye’d tae walk up the wall like the sojers dae in the films when they’re climbing up a cliff, till ye goat tae the next set ae bolts and then unscrew them, the same as wae the first wans.  Ye kept gaun till ye reached the length ye wanted and then ye cut through it.  The only problem wis, ye needed tae hiv a hacksaw tae cut through the copper because it wis so thick.  Wance ye cut through it, ye kicked yersel oot fae the building, still haudin oan tae the copper and ye ended up landing oan the ground nice and gently.

  “How the hell dae ye know it works?  Whit happens if ye end up splattering through the ground when ye land?” Tony hid asked.

  “Wance ye cut through it, when ye’re up aboot twenty feet, he said it’s like a giant spring because it’s buried in the ground at the bottom.  Because the copper is so thick, it takes yer weight, so ye slow doon, the nearer ye get tae the ground, jist like a pole-jumper’s pole.  Wance ye’re doon, ye jist cut through the bottom ae it and Bob’s yer uncle.”

  “Aye, well, seeing as ye’re the expert, ye kin hiv the first go, Tarzan,” Tony hid said, nodding towards the new multi-storey blocks that wur gaun up jist beside where they wur.

  “Whit’s a hacksaw?” Johnboy hid asked.

  “A special saw fur cutting metal.”

  “Where’d we get wan ae them then?”

  “We’d probably need tae steal wan oot ae an ironmongers that sells tools or a workshoap.”

  “Well, we’ll need tae keep oor eyes oan they new blocks o’er there.  We widnae want somewan tae get in before us, eh?”

  The words wur jist oot ae Tony’s mooth when a heid appeared o’er the edge ae the building.

  “Bizzies!”

  And that wis that.  They scattered in three directions.  Johnboy heided fur the side pointing towards Springburn, Joe took the Toonheid side and Tony wis up and o’er the tap ae the roof facing the freight yard oan Springburn Road.  Johnboy managed tae dreep doon withoot breaking his ankles and shot up through the gravestanes, wae two skinny bizzies up his arse, shouting fur him tae stoap.  As he flew o’er the tap ae the hill, he saw his escape route.  There wur two big fancy gates staunin, chained shut, oan Keppochhill Road and he heided straight fur them, jumping o’er aw the gravestanes that kept popping up, trying tae block his path.

  “Stoap, ya wee basturt, ye!”

  “Mick, heid doon tae the right.  Cut the wee basturt aff!”

  Even though he hidnae a clue whit they wur up tae behind him, Johnboy wisnae hinging aboot tae find oot.  The other side ae the road beyond the gates hid a row ae red sandstane tenement buildings, wae a choice ae closes tae escape through.  He jist hid tae get o’er the gates in wan go.  He thought aboot the wall either side ae the gates, bit he wisnae too sure if he’d manage tae get up and o’er in the wan leap, even though it only looked hauf the height ae the gates.  It looked too smooth tae gie him a good grip fur his feet while he could use the gates as a ladder.  He scurried up the gate oan the left haun side and wis at the tap before the plod and his pal arrived at the bottom.  Johnboy wis jist starting tae feel chuffed wae himsel, because he knew there wis nae chance ae them catching him noo, when a squad car screeched tae a stoap ootside the gates.  A big curly-haired sergeant jumped oot ae the car and hid a grip ae Johnboy’s throat wae that big five-fingered shovel ae his, before his two feet connected wae the ground.

  “Aw naw, ye don’t, ya wee toe-rag, ye.”

  Within two minutes, Johnboy wis sitting in the back ae the car, back at the building, staring oot at their handiwork.  It looked really impressive, he thought.  When the car drove through the gates oan Springburn Road, the building looked untouched, wae its slated roof facing the road intact.  It wis only when the squad car crawled past it, and they wur able tae look back, that they saw that the whole ae the back ae the roof looked like bare flairboards.  The copper sheets lay where they’d slung them aff ae the roof.  Johnboy
could see the glint ae the copper oan the other side fae the green side.

  “Hiv ye seen whit ye’ve jist gone and done, ya wee basturt, ye?” Steel Wool Heid snarled fae the front passenger seat. 

  Johnboy jist sat there wae his best ‘who me?’ innocent look oan his coupon, as if he’d been talking tae somewan else.  A big red-faced inspector came o’er and peered through the windae.

  “Is that wan ae the wee basturts?”

  “Aye.”

  “Whit aboot the other two?”

  “Danny said they managed tae escape across the Stinky Ocean.  He’s radioed aheid tae the Toonheid boys tae see if they kin heid them aff.”

  “So, the wee scallies wid’ve goat away then?”

  “Ah’m no sure. Liam Thompson and Crisscross wur heiding towards Pinkston Road tae try and cut them aff.”

  “Ah’ve mair chance ae getting ma Nat King Cole aff ae that wee nun staunin o’er there at that gravestane, than that pair ae eejits hiv ae getting a sniff ae they manky wee arseholes.  Right, get him across tae the Marine and Ah’ll catch up wae youse later.  Whit a fucking mess they’ve made.”