Ruining Me (10 page)

Speak of the devil, at that moment
he walk
s
into the cafeteria. 
Marching
straight up to JT
,
I
said
harshly, “We
need to talk,” and turn around
hoping he follows
me
.  I didn’t want to have this conversation
anywhere near school so I walk
to my car and unlock both doors and
sit down
on the
driver’s
side
. 
JT
si
t
s
down
on
the passenger side. 

“What the hell
JT
?” 

He turns
toward me
holding both his hand
s
up
, “Just listen to me for a second, okay? 
I deserve for you to hear me out. 
When I talked to you the other day, I could see in your eyes that you still loved me.  I don’t care what happened in the past, I just know that I need you in
my future.  The past two years
have been the most miserable years of my
existence
.  You left me
and God Jay
I was broken.  I thought I could drink the pain away
and
I tried to replace you.  I loved that everyone
else started to hate you too
. 
Lately I’m starting to realize that
this whole time, I haven’t been moving on
, but
been waiting for you to come back to me. 
I
know now
I
can’t
live without you.”  His voice br
eak
s
and tears roll down his face.

Hearing his words killed me.  I
have
loved this boy
for
most of my life. 
Pulling
JT
into a hug
,
I
let us both cry for what was and what I knew could never be again. 

Lifting my head I
sa
y
,
“
JT
, I’m not that same girl you once loved
.”  H
e trie
s
to interrupt me
, but I continue
, “I
heard you out so now it’s my t
urn
.  I’ll always love you, but right now I can’
t be with you
.”

He grab
s
both of my arms and wouldn’t let go, “Just tell me why
?
  I deserve to know what took you from me
.
”
I sh
ake
my head no
. 

“Damn you
,
” he said
. 
“Just tell me
the
truth, was there someone that
you cheated on me with
? 
I need to know Jay, don’t you
dare lie to me
.
” 

I look into
his red rimmed eyes and whisper
,
“No
JT
,
I would never have
cheated on you.  There was no one I
loved more than you.”

At that point he tried to pull me to him and at the same time his door was jerked open and Coach Bran
ch
leaned in, “Problem here guys?
”
  H
e
notices
JT
’s hands on me and
glares at him
, “
Higgins maybe
you need to head to class son.” 

I jump out of the car before JT ha
s
time to
get
out
of the car
and head for
the doors.  Coach Branch
call
s
for me, but I d
o no
t
listen.  I only turn back
for a second
when I reach the doors
. 
JT
w
as walking beside
him
and neither
were
talking. 

Running
to my locker
I
grab my books and head for the front office.  My parents had spoken with the
school
and because of their work schedule I was allowed to check myself out if I didn’t feel well.  I didn’t do it very often because I didn’t want my parents to revoke that status, but today was that day. 
Driving home I notice
I
had missed a text
message
.

Kane -
Hopefully I did
n’t make you too late this morn

I wait
u
ntil I g
e
t home and text back.

Me -
Not much, was your bro mad?

Kane -
He’ll get over it

Me -
Can’t wait for
tonight!!!  What should I wear?

Kane -
Something sexy ;)

Me-
I can do that.  See you at 7.

Kane – See U…btw…I know what they say about candy…..and it’s not true

Me - ????????

Kane – Th
at it’s
TOO SWEET……

Me – lol…Glad I like sweets then… ;)

Next I needed to text
Cal
.

Me – Please
tell
JT
that I need
some time.  Will NOT be at home, going to a
friend’s
house for the night.

Cal – I’ll try Jay.   What happened???  Coach B is pissed at him and
JT
isn’
t talking to anyone. Coach B told Coach S that
JT
was harassing you and to back off.  WTH????

Me – Please help Cal….just keep
JT
away for now.  I’ll explain later…K??????

JT
and I are over.  We can’t go back and I’m not sure we can ever go forward.  He would never let the past go.  He can’t. 
After two years why was everything falling apart now?

Leaving my house
,
I decide to
pamper myself
so I drive to have a
manicure and pedicure. 
Since it’s a full spa, I decide to have my hair styled with big cur
ls lo
osely placed on top of my head thinking
Kane would like that.  I
arrive
home in just enough time to bath
e
and dress picking
a simple black dress
.  Well simple in the
front
, but
with a low drop in the back and super short.  I add a
killer pair of
black
hee
ls and my diamond pendent necklace.  Not much make
-
up
, but
tons of lip gloss. 

Waiting for Kane to arrive
,
I wonder
how indecent
this skirt is going to
look on the
back
of a motorcycle.  When
the doo
rbell
chime
s, I can
see him
standing
through the door
and well he
i
s
,
WOW!
  Kane in a leather jacket and tight blue jeans this morning was sexy as hell.  Kane dressed in black dress pants and gray knit
shirt was panting dropping hot
. 

When I open
the
door he was smiling as he looked
me up and down. 
Looking
deep into my eyes
he says
, “
Damn
Jay
,
” and pulls
me to him.  His lips softly
caress
mine and I fee
l
his tongue tracing my lips.    “God you taste good
,
” his words
are whispered in
to my mouth. 
He runs
his
hands down both my arms
,
until
they
are
holding mine. I start to pull him inside and he hesitate
s
.  “
Now
I’m
the one
who is
not strong enough to come in
,
and be able to leave for dinner
. 
C’mon let’s go.”
  He smile
s
at me and those dimples mak
e my knees go weak. 

I
lean into him and kiss
first the right dimpl
e and then the left.  He groans
and I smile,
“Let me grab my purse.” 
Picking
it up from
the table
,
I
follow
him out the door.  

Instead of his motorcycle he ha
d
driven a silver Chrysler Crossfire.  “I love your motorcycle
Kane
, but I
really
love th
is
Crossfire.”  He just smile
s
and opens the passenger door
to
help
me in. 
After he s
i
t
s down,
h
e turn
s
to me and
pull
s
me as far as he
can
toward him.
His body heat radiates to me and I can
almost
feel a
tangible
connection between us.  His green eyes stare into mine.
 

“Did you know your eyes are like molten silver when you look at me
?
”

“I was just thinking how yours were like
emeralds
,
”
I return
.  We were both whispering
as I place
my hand against his face and caress his cheek. 

He grabs me behind my neck and pulls
my lips to his.  This kiss went from zero to sixty in seconds.  My body went up in flames and I think I moaned or maybe it was him.  His hands were in my hair and mine were hol
ding his face.  He gently pulls
my
head
back
,
separating m
y mouth from hi
s
. 

“Ja
y
, we are not going to mak
e it to dinner like this.”  I think I whimpered not in pain, but because I wanted to
taste his mouth again.  He pulls
back a little harder on my hair, “Baby, I want to take you out.”  It was like I was in a haze.  I heard him talking to me, but my body was on fire
and I
had never felt like this.  After a minute, I tried to pull out of his hold and he let me go.

He pulls
out of my drive way and ask me what my parents did for a living.  I told him
about them
, m
y childhood
,
and all the trouble Molly, Reed and I used to get in
to. 
He talked about growing up and how he and his brother were always super close.  His father died when they were teenagers, but his Mom was still alive and
he wanted to move her here
. We arrive
at a local Italian
restaurant
and be
fore I kn
o
w it
,
we
are
seated and our order
is placed
.  I
laugh when I
notice the waitress checking him out.  I’m sure he gets that everywhere.