Revive Me (7 page)

“Where the hell have you been?” the shrill voice asked when I walked through the front door. I stopped in step, blinking until I made out the silhouette of her sitting in the dark.

“I had an emergency,” I answered, pushing my truck keys into my pants pocket and flipping the lock to the door behind me. She leaned forward as the lamp beside her flickered on.

“You’re in high school, what possible emergency could you have?” she mocked. “A little slut wanting to get laid. You better be safe Dawson Thomas. I ain’t raising no grandkids, and you know your father won’t either.”

I shook my head and took a good look at her. My mom had once been a beautiful woman, inside and out. She graduated from high school and enrolled in the community college in our small town. She’d wanted to be a nurse and help deliver babies. Enter my dad. He came ripping through her life like a hurricane and destroyed everything that was her. She lost her scholarship, her job, and every ounce of confidence she’d had. My grandparents turned their backs on her when she’d taken jewelry from my grandma’s room and gave it to my dad to pawn it. Apparently, he needed a new TV and a casino trip with the guys.

Some people do really stupid shit for love. She was his puppet, allowing him to dictate everything that happened in our lives. Her dirty blonde hair flickered with pebbles of grey was cut into a tangled, frizzy bob. Crows feet underlined her almond-shaped, emerald green eyes, and wrinkles were building up around her lips. Sepia colored liquid filled the glass in her hand and she leaned back in her old rocking chair wearing an old, frumpy robe.

“No one’s getting pregnant, Ma.” I didn’t feel like getting into it with her tonight. She wouldn’t remember it tomorrow, anyways.

“When your father comes back, you know he isn’t going to allow this kind of behavior to happen in his house.” Anger flashed through me at her calling it “his house.” He’d never paid one damn bill for this place. It was my mom and I working to keep a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. When the cold winters came and our heat bill doubled, I picked up extra shifts delivering pizzas in the freezing cold to pay it. Not him. He didn’t do anything but selfishly take.

My head dropped back, and I inhaled a deep breath. “We both know he’s never coming back.”

I didn’t even flinch at the sound of glass shattering against the wall beside me. She hated hearing the truth. “Don’t you dare say that,” she demanded, pointing her bony finger at me. “You’re a goddamned liar. He’ll be back, and you’ll respect him, otherwise you’ll be out of here.”

I shook my head. “Goodnight. You need to get to bed and sober yourself up. You’ve got to work in the morning.” She worked at a factory in town and couldn’t be hung over while working machinery, or she’d lose her job. That was the last thing we needed or could afford. I turned around and walked down the short hall to my bedroom. It was useless trying to talk sense into her, especially when it was about him.

I shut my door carefully, hearing the lock click as I threw my keys down onto the wooden desk at the corner of my room next to my computer. I opened a drawer and grabbed a pill from the bottle. Pulling my t-shirt over my head, I flipped the light off and collapsed onto my mattress. My doctor prescribed me Ambien because I was having trouble sleeping. It’s hard to sleep when you get flashbacks of shots tearing through the your best friend’s chest. I was grateful I’d forgotten to take them tonight, or I would’ve been too knocked out to hear Tessa’s call, and who knows where the hell she’d be. I shut my eyes, and my mind ran back to one of my many Tessa incidents as I drifted to sleep.

“I just don’t get what you see in her,” Tessa said, stretching out onto the couch in her living room beside me. It was the night, or early morning, of their annual pool party. Every year, their parents went out of town to visit their aunt, and we’d throw a badass pool party. The party had ended, and we’d kicked everyone out, leaving just the four of us. Daisy and Tanner had escaped to his bedroom, and Tessa and I were hanging out in the living room eating leftover chips.

Her hair was pulled back into a wet ponytail showing off her flawless face. She hadn’t changed out of her skimpy-as-hell bikini covered with black stars against white fabric. My fingertips throbbed, longing to trace the outline of each star. My eyes traveled down and admired her breasts pushed up by the strings tied around her back. I licked my lips, moving my gaze down her toned, tan stomach and her sleek legs. I shut my eyes, envisioning what she’d looked like if I carefully untied each string, revealing every inch of her.

“Dawson,” she said loudly, snapping her fingers in front of my face and breaking me away from my dirty thoughts.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Kassidy,” she answered, and I slumped deeper into the couch. Not this shit again.

“What about her?” I hated when she brought up other chicks.

“What do you see in her?”

I also hated it when she got jealous. Kassidy Belcher didn’t mean shit to me. But I couldn’t tell her that. I should’ve, but I couldn’t. I ran my hands through my hair before grabbing my water bottle and taking a giant gulp to bide me some time before answering her question.

“She’s cool to hang out with, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s not like I’m going to marry the chick or anything. We just chill.”

She scoffed, kicking her bare feet up on the table. “You just chill? That’s what you say about all of them, but you forgot to mention the fact that you chill naked while you’re inside of her.” I choked on my water. Tessa always got brave and outspoken when she drank. “Are you trying to conquer the entire female student body before we graduate?”

I laughed, trying to make light of the situation. “I wouldn’t say the entire student body per se.” She gave me a serious look, letting me know she wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “I don’t want to conquer you.”

Wrong damn thing to say.

I watched her face go from serious to seriously pissed off. “Wow, Dawson,” she snarled. “I apologize for being so unattractive and inexperienced that I’m not up to your standards to conquer, but girls like Kassidy are okay. What? Do you not want your girls to be smarter than you because you suck in bed?”

I ran my hands over my face in frustration. The girl knew how to push my buttons. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. When she drank, she always ended up pissed off at me. Then she’d say some stupid shit, and I’d get pissed at her. She only brought up her feelings for me when she had alcohol in her system. Then the next day, she’d act like nothing happened. It was a game to us, only more emotional, and not very entertaining.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I replied, trying to backtrack my words.

She rolled her eyes and tucked her feet under her butt. “Whatever.”

“You want to be conquered?”

Her light blue eyes narrowed my way. “No, I don’t want you to conquer me, jackass. I’ll never be one of your three day flings.”

“Then why are you so pissed?”

I scooted closer to her and didn’t miss the sudden heightening in her breathing. Her glossy eyes stared straight into mine. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, pushing a hand against my chest to shove me away from her. She began to get up, but I reached forward and grabbed her arm to stop her. Wrapping my hand around her chilly face, I used a finger to outline her full, rounded lips and remembered what they tasted like. I’d felt her lips on mine. I’d felt her tongue against mine. We’d get caught in the moment, and do shit that wasn’t supposed to happen. I’d pull away before we’d get too far, telling her we had to stop. That it wasn’t allowed to happen. And she’d get pissed at me, run away, and not talk to me for days.

She trembled at my touch. “You deserve more than being someone’s conquest, baby. You deserve someone who can give you the world. You deserve someone who can make you his girl and fight to never lose you. You deserve more than anyone in this town can give you, especially me.” She was going places and I wasn’t. I didn’t have money to get some fancy degree from an Ivy League school. I was little league, and I wasn’t going to keep her in my field

She recoiled at my touch and pulled away. “Spare me the bullshit excuses because I don’t give a shit anymore.” Turning away, she stomped up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

“Fuck my life,” I muttered, rubbing my forehead and falling back on the couch.

“Damnit, Tanner,” I whispered to the ceiling, “you should’ve never made me promise. You knew if anything happened to you, I’d be the only person to save her. And now, it’s too fucking late.”

Tessa

“I
s cereal okay this morning?” I asked, blocking my eyes with my hand and wincing at the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window. My head throbbed like a million bricks had busted through my skull, and a mac-truck rolled over my brain to complete the job. The what-ever-meister I’d drunk had killed at least two organs in my body, I was sure of it.

“That’s fine,” Derrick said, sliding books into his backpack and falling heavily into a chair at the kitchen table. “As long as it’s the peanut butter kind.”

“Of course.” I forced myself to act like everything was okay around him. He needed to be happy, even if I couldn’t. He needed a normal life. Our parents were practically catatonic; he needed someone to take care of him, and I was trying my best to do it without having a breakdown.

I opened the fridge for the milk. I did all of the grocery shopping in the house now, the cleaning, and paid the bills. My mom walked into my bedroom two months ago, threw her checkbook and a pile of delinquent bills onto my bed, and instructed me to take care of them. And I did because I knew if I refused, they wouldn’t get done, and we’d be out on the streets.

I poured his cereal and grabbed a bottle of water for myself before setting the bowl in front of him. “You’re not eating?” He asked, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth as milk dripped from the sides.

“I don’t feel so hot today.” My stomach was churning with queasiness just watching him eat. I didn’t want to find out what would happen if I actually tried to consume anything. I swallowed hard, the taste of the alcohol and my vomit still lingering on my tongue, even after I’d brushed my teeth nine times.

“Don’t forget you have to pick me up from school today. Sammy has a doctor’s appointment, so his mom can’t bring me home,” he said, shoving another bite into his mouth.

Derrick was a mini-version of Tanner. That was one of the main reasons I think my parents couldn’t stand to be around us. We were all strikingly similar to each other and a constant reminder of their loss. When they looked at us, they only saw their dead son.

“I’ll be there.”

He smacked his palm into his forehead. “Shit, I forgot to tell you … Dawson said to call him last night.”

“Language,” I said, giving him a stern look. “And I talked to him. He’s taking us to school this morning.”

He looked up at me with the spoon still in his mouth. “Is there something wrong with your car?” he asked, at least that’s what it sounded like.

I bit my bottom lip and took a drink. There was no way I was telling my teenage brother I got wasted at a party and couldn’t drive myself home. I was supposed to be the good influence in his life. He saw enough drinking and bullshit from my parents.

“Nope, just needed the oil changed. It’s in the shop, but we’ll pick it up after school so I can come get you.”

“Oh okay, I like that. I miss having Dawson around here. Can you ask him to come with you when you pick me up? Maybe we call all get ice cream and hang out after school?”

I got up from my chair and grabbed his empty bowl. “I’ll talk to him,” I lied, ruffling a hand through his thick hair.

The doorbell rang, and Derrick jumped up from his chair to answer it. “Dawson’s here!” he yelled, coming back into the kitchen with Dawson trailing behind him. “He said he’s cool with hanging out after school.”