Redemption (Cavan Gang #2) (10 page)

“My turn.”

Miller watched in a daze as Rogan moved over her body. She breathed out a soft sigh filled with longing. He could be so intense, so serious. But when it was just the two of them and all his focus and intensity was aimed at her, she kind of melted. There was no other word for it. He made her feel like she was the most important thing in his world.

“I may not always show it or say it, but you are so important to me, Miller. When I leave you, I switch my focus onto everything else. But it’s only because to get distracted could get me killed. And, now, more than ever, I have a reason to live. A reason to come home.”

She cupped his face between her hands. “You better damn well stay alive, hear me? I will not be happy if anything happens to you.”

“Planning on spitting on my grave?”

“Oh hell, no. I’ll dig you up, stuff you, and use you as my voodoo doll. And you know where I’d put those pins, don’t you?”

He winced as she lightly patted his balls.

“You’re a hard woman.”

She smiled fiercely. “Yep. But I’m your hard woman.”

He bit down on a nipple then lapped at it to soothe the pain. Then he moved to her other nipple, working his tongue over them, back and forth, over and over, until they were hard nubs, sensitive to even the slightest touch.

The covers twisted beneath her as she writhed on the bed, wanting more, needing to feel him inside her.

“Please, Rogan.”

“Please, what?” He laid kisses on her stomach, moving closer and closer to her pussy. She groaned in frustration as he moved away again, kissing down one thigh then switching to the other.

“I need you.”

“Where? Where do you need me?”

“Are you trying to get me to talk dirty?” she asked.

“Pussy isn’t a dirty word.” He grinned up at her. “Say it. Say pussy. I want your tongue on my pussy, Rogan.”

“I can say pussy. See? Said it right then.”

“Good, now tell me you want my tongue on your pussy. You want me to play with your clit, to make you nice and juicy.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“I need some direction. Otherwise, I might get distracted by your other attributes.” He raised her leg into the air and kissed along her butt cheek.

“Uh-uh, you stay away from there. I am so not into anything kinky.”

Running his finger along the seam of her ass, he watched her carefully. “Ever tried it?”

“No. And I’m not going to now! You are not sticking anything in my ass.” But his finger created urges she hadn’t realized she had. She wondered what it would feel like to be touched there.

“I think you’re curious. Hold your legs up to your chest. I’ll get the lube.”

“Rogan, no, I—”

He turned back and gave her a gentle kiss. “Hush, you know I’d never hurt you. We’re going to experiment a little and, if you don’t like it, then we’ll forget all about it. I’ll never mention it again. But I know someone as brave as you are isn’t going to be chicken about giving it a go.”

She scowled at him. “Manipulative bastard.”

With a chuckle, he moved into the bathroom. Miller glanced around his bedroom. It was kind of bland. Very similar to her room. No personal touches. No photos on the wall or clothes strewn on the floor. Just a bed, bedside tables, and an armchair.

Wouldn’t take much to make it homier, though. A few cushions, a rug, some artwork.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” he asked as he slid back onto the bed. He placed a bottle of lube and a box onto the bedside table.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Then shouldn’t you be in position?”

Oh crap. Miller watched him for a moment but he stared back at her, waiting. He wanted her to open herself up to him. Miller pulled her legs up against her chest, putting her ass and pussy on full display.

“I’m not going to like this,” she warned him.

“We’ll see,” he replied, placing a dab of lube on his finger.

As he settled himself between her legs, she tensed, certain he would immediately thrust his finger inside her. Instead, he teased her clit with his tongue, playing with her until she relaxed, pleasure flooding her.

His finger teased the opening to her ass, covering it in lube.

“Easy, baby. Breathe in. Now let it out.”

As she let the breath out, Rogan slowly pushed his finger into her ass.

“Okay, that’s weird.” She wasn’t entirely certain she liked it.

“Give it some time,” he told her. He twirled his tongue around her clit. Gradually, she relaxed, need replacing any feelings of misgiving. Rogan moved the finger in her ass, lighting nerve endings she’d never guessed she had.

Her need increased, pleasure assaulting her from all sides. The finger in her ass was joined by another one, stretching her. Pleasure rushed through her, flooding her.

“Rogan, Rogan!” she cried out as she came, clenching down on his finger.

“Damn, that’s hot.” Rogan kissed the top of her mound as he pulled his finger free. “Like that, baby?”

“Maybe,” she muttered.

Reaching over to the bedside table, he grabbed the small box he’d put there. Pulling off the wrapper, he drew out a dark-blue cylinder-shaped item tapered at one end and with a wide, flat base at the other end.

“What the hell is that?” she asked.

“An anal plug. It’s a small one to begin with.”

“Small? Is that like calling someone tiny when they’re huge? Cause that thing is not small.” He had to be kidding her, right? This was some kind of joke? Because there was no way that plug was meant to go up someone’s butt.

Especially not her butt.

“Shh, it’s a beginner’s plug. Didn’t my finger feel good?”

“It was okay,” she told him reluctantly.

“Miller,” he said in a warning voice.

“Fine. It felt good.”

“Then imagine how this plug is going to feel.”

He coated the plug in lube.

“Uhh, I am imagining it and none of what I’m imagining is good. There’s a bit of a difference between your finger and that thing.”

“Trust me. Would I ever hurt you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You guess not?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No, you wouldn’t hurt me. But have you ever tried one of these up your ass?”

“Yes, I have.”

She gaped at him.

“I didn’t want to use one on a woman without trying it out myself. Now, roll over, kneel then place your chest on the bed.”

“Maybe
you
should try it again. Just to be sure. I’ll help you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I cannot believe I’m doing this,” she stated as she moved into position. “How did I not know you were kinky?”

“If you think this is kinky, you have a lot to learn.”

He ran his finger around her asshole, pressing his finger in and out, teasing her.

“Rogan!”

“Oh, now you’re impatient?”

The head of the plug prodded at her opening.
Oh hell.

“Deep breath in. Slowly let it out. Good girl, stay relaxed.”

Her ass stretched. It wasn’t painful, exactly, but it wasn’t pleasant either.

“There, that wasn’t so bad was it?” He patted her ass cheek, making her clench around the rubber intruder.

He moved closer, his thighs brushing her ass. With one finger, he reached down and rubbed her clit. The head of his cock nudged her pussy and she shuddered with need. Slowly, he entered her.

“Oh hell.” The plug in her ass tightened everything. He had to push for each inch. Need became a breathing, aching beast inside her.

“More, Rogan. Faster.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me!” She gasped as he gained another inch.
Holy crap balls.

“You’re so tight.”

“Move, Rogan. Move!” She needed to come. He strummed her clit with his finger as he pulled back then thrust forward. With each movement, he increased his speed.

Her mouth went dry as she gasped for breath. Excitement exploded inside her, sensation swimming across her nerve endings. Each breath became a gasp, each movement more frenzied than the one before.

They moved together. In sync. Building up to a state of bliss she could never have imagined, never have believed would be this powerful.

Orgasm rolled over her, hard and strong. Fierce. She froze. Thought, speech, even breathing became secondary to the pleasure racing through her with the force of a hurricane, lashing at her insides until she collapsed. Completely spent.

Rogan gasped behind her as he came soon after her, giving one final, deep thrust.

Twenty minutes later, Miller snuggled against his chest. He had removed the plug then they’d had a quick shower to clean up before climbing back into bed.

She stifled a yawn.

“Go to sleep,” he told her, running his hand through her hair. “You’re tired.”

“I’m okay. I like lying here with you. We don’t get to relax together much.”

“I’m sorry.”

She leaned up on one elbow so she looked down at him. “I wasn’t complaining.”

He cupped her cheek with his hand. “I know. You never make any demands on me. I never thought I’d say this, but sometimes I wish you would rely on me a bit more.”

She snorted. “I rely on you for plenty. I rely on you to keep your word, to keep me safe. I rely on you to be honest with me, to not let me down. To never abandon me.”

The way everyone else had.

“I may not be able to tell you everything, but what I do tell you will always be the truth. I always mean what I say,
a thaisce
.”

“What does
a thaisce
mean?
”

“It means love.”

“Really? Strange endearment for someone you’re not in a relationship with.” She raised her eyebrows.

“I knew as soon as I offered to let you stay here it would be the beginning of something.”

“Like a relationship? But we’re not in one.”

He groaned, placing an arm over his eyes. “I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?”

“Yep. Over and over and over.”

“You’re evil.”

“Totally.”

“We’re already in a relationship, and we both know it,” he said. “You live with me, you cooked for me, and you drive me insane on a daily basis.”

“Dude, if that’s your criteria for a relationship, then you’ve been in one with Colm for years.”

“Miller, I care about you. I’ve told myself time and again to stay away from you. I tried my best to keep a distance. But I can’t keep away from you. Even when we’re apart, you’re always on my mind.”

“I feel the same way. I’m not Victoria, Rogan. I don’t expect diamonds or furs or your total attention. Just as long as you come home to me. As long as I’m the one you wake up to in the morning and go to sleep with each night. As long as you care about me, that’s what matters.”

“You mean more to me than you realize.”

“I tried to keep my distance from you, too. I always told myself I wouldn’t end up in a relationship with a man like my father.”

Should he be insulted she was comparing him to her loser of a father?

“But you’re nothing like him. You didn’t have to help me, but you’ve been there every time I needed you. You’ve never once let me down. You take care of the people around you, even though you like to pretend you don’t care. You never go back on your word.”

“Don’t pretend I’m someone I’m not.” He’d done things guaranteeing there wasn’t a place for him in heaven. He didn’t operate on the right side of the law, although he did have his own code. There were rules he would never break.

“I know who you are, Rogan. You’re not scaring me off.”

He guessed she did know better than most. Although there were things he would never tell her. Things he would never expose her to.

“Be sure, Miller. Because once you are mine then I am never going to let you go.”

“I told myself I wanted a normal, boring life. With an average man. Someone reliable. Someone who worked nine to five, who didn’t have secrets. But you can’t help who you fall for.”

Regret filled him. “If I could change who I am, I would. But there is no way out, Miller. This is my life. Yours, too, if you choose to stay.”

“Do you want me to? Stay, I mean.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

“Me neither.” A giant grin crossed her face.

“So you’ll move in permanently? I can have whatever stuff you want shipped here. I am going to do my best to keep you safe. I promise. You’re my weakness now. One who could be used against me. I can’t allow that.”

“Your weakness? I kind of hoped we were stronger together.”

He sat up and pulled her onto his lap. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. But I need to know you’re safe, Miller. To keep me sane. You mean everything to me. I’ll try not to smother you in my protection, but I can’t always guarantee I’ll be successful.”