Authors: Anna Carey
Rebecca's Rules (3 page)
Vanessa Finn’s birthday party is on Saturday. And for some reason I am going to it. Even though, just a few months ago, I vowed (in front of lots of people, now I come to think of it, as well as in this diary) that there was no way I was ever going to her ridiculous extravaganza. I think I said I wouldn’t even go if she paid me (which was a genuine possibility).
I can’t believe we all gave in to Vanessa. A month or so ago
we were all coming out of school and Cass and Alice were talking about how unfair Mrs O’Reilly had been in history class that morning, and I was thinking about Paperboy and wondering whether I could persuade my parents to move to Vancouver, when we realised that there was a camera crew outside the gates. And before any of us could get away, Vanessa appeared and started handing out giant sparkly invitations to everyone in the class and smiling at us like we were all best friends. We were all so stunned we just took them, and then Vanessa paraded off and got into a big posh car that was waiting nearby, as if this was how she always travels home from school (which is rubbish because she walks, normally).
As soon as she and her camera crew went off, everyone started talking about how mad she was and how there was no way any of us were going to her ridiculous party because she’s always made it clear how awful it is for her having to slum it with us in a state school. She acts like we’re all hardened criminals and she can’t put her bag down for five seconds in case one of us nicks it (I have no idea why she thinks like this, by the way. She lives in a big house, but it’s not, like, a castle. It’s in Glasnevin surrounded by people who also go to state schools). Why would we want to go to a party for someone like that?
Also, none of us wanted to risk being caught on camera again by the ‘My Big Birthday Bash’ people, who would be filming it all for the reality show.
And then, a few days later, we were sitting in the cloakroom, drinking hot chocolate which Emma’s big sister had kindly made for us with the sixth-year kettle, when Ellie said, ‘You know, Vanessa’s party could be kind of funny.’
‘Funny peculiar, you mean,’ said Cass.
‘No, think about it,’ said Ellie. ‘I mean, it’ll be completely mental. She’s going to have a tank and a pony and God knows what else. It might be … you know, fun.’
‘Ellie,’ I said. ‘This is Vanessa. Remember when my mum’s book came out and she pretended to be friends with me in a really creepy way because she thought it would impress the ‘My Big Birthday Bash’ people? She’s crazed. And then she wanted me and Cass and Alice to play at her party and had a tantrum when I fell off the stage because she thought it had spoiled her chances of getting on that awful show.’
‘She is pretty crazed,’ agreed Cass.
‘I know,’ said Ellie, ‘but that’s what could make the party funny. I mean, don’t you want to see what she looks like riding around in a tank? It’ll be hilarious!’
Hmmm,’ said Cass. ‘Good point.’
‘But if we all turn up it’ll only encourage her!’ I said. ‘She’ll think it’s okay to carry on like that!’
‘To be honest, I don’t think she’ll even notice,’ said Ellie. ‘I mean, she thinks it’s okay anyway. I bet even if only three people turn up, it wouldn’t make any difference to her.’
‘She’s pretty good at ignoring reality,’ said Cass. ‘Remember when you kept trying to tell her you weren’t going to her party and she just acted like you were agreeing with her? And let’s not forget that she’s still convinced that all of us are from the slums because our parents are teachers and guards and stuff, instead of, I dunno, royalty.’
‘True,’ I said.
‘But isn’t it a bit mean?’ said Alice. ‘I mean, we don’t like Vanessa.’
‘We certainly don’t,’ I said.
‘Well, if you heard of people going to the party of someone they didn’t like just to laugh at it, you’d think that was mean, wouldn’t you?’
We all paused. When you put it like that, it did sound pretty horrendous. Except …
‘The thing is,’ said Cass, ‘there’s a big difference between
going to laugh at the party of someone who’s invited you because she, y’know, actually likes you and wants you to be there, and someone who’s inviting absolutely everyone and doesn’t care about any of them and has also, let’s not forget, shouted at some of them in public.’
‘Hmm,’ said Alice. ‘I suppose. But still …’
Sometimes Alice is just too good. She’s definitely gooder than me. So anyway, we all thought about it and gradually, over the next week or so, it turned out that we all sort of wanted to go. Even though it’s being filmed. We figured we can manage to avoid the cameras. It’s worth going just, as Cass said one night when we talked on the phone, ‘to see the tank. And the pink pony. If that’s still happening. I always thought that sounded a bit too ridiculous, even for Vanessa.’
‘I wouldn’t put it past her,’ I said. ‘She said she was going to get it dyed specially.’
‘But where?’ said Cass. ‘I mean, who can you ask to dye a pony pink? A vet? I can’t imagine a decent vet would do it. Imagine if you took Bumpers down to the vet and asked them to dye him pink.’
‘It’ll be hard enough getting the vet to give Bumpers his booster shots after the last time,’ I said. ‘She said she’d never
met such a loud cat. But maybe ponies are different. They’re not as wriggly and bitey.’
‘Well, there’s only one way to find out,’ said Cass cheerfully. ‘Come on! It’ll distract you from mooning around moping over Paperboy.’
‘I don’t moon!’ I cried. ‘And I definitely don’t mope.’
‘Okay, okay,’ said Cass, but I don’t think she was telling the truth. I think she really thinks I’ve been mooning and moping.
Anyway, that moping and mooning conversation was about two weeks ago. A few days later, we all e-mailed our RSVPs to Vanessa, which was when we started realising that deciding to go her party may not have been a good idea after all because she spent the next fortnight parading around the school boasting about how brilliant the stupid thing was going to be and how she had to hurry home after school every day (like anyone cared) to meet the film crew and show them her stage set and her outfits. She’s being even more obnoxious and rude than usual. And then we all got sent back forms for our parents to sign, saying it was okay for us to appear on ‘My Big Birthday Bash’, and promising that we wouldn’t put anything about the party online before the
stupid programme aired. It was ridiculous.
But despite all this, I know that on Saturday we’re all going to be waiting outside the school for the bus Vanessa’s parents have hired to take us to some castle in the middle of nowhere that they’ve rented for the party.
Mum says this is ‘morbid curiosity’ and that we are all just going because we think it’s going to be a big disaster. She may have a point. Oh well, maybe Cass is right and it will take my mind off Paperboy and stop me wondering why he didn’t even send me a Valentine text. And I have to admit, I do kind of want to see the tank.
He still hasn’t mailed or messaged me.
I am the worst friend ever!
I am wracked with guilt. I had a big … well, not quite a fight, but definitely a ‘scene’ with Alice today. And Alice doesn’t really do fights. Or get really angry. But she was properly angry today. And it was my fault. And I feel really bad.
It all happened just after school. Cass was off sick today (she texted me this morning to say the entire family had got food
poisoning. They went out to dinner yesterday as a special treat for her dad’s birthday and they all ended up puking all night. Which must have been pretty disgusting because there’s four of them and only one loo) and so it was just me waiting with Alice at the gate for her dad to turn up and collect her. And we were sort of talking about the old days when we used to walk together and then I said, ‘Hey, guess who I saw today on my way in? Bike Boy! Remember him?’
Bike Boy’s real name is Richard and he is a boy who has always cycled past us on our way to school and then turned up with his band at the Battle of the Bands. Alice used to fancy him a bit and then got talking to him at the Battle. But about a week later she stopped walking to school so she didn’t really get to see him again (I think we saw him in the distance cycling ahead of us down Calderwood Road one day, but that was it and then she started getting a lift straight to school). I still see him every so often and sometimes we nod at each other in greeting, but I don’t really notice him or indeed any other boys because my heart belongs to Paperboy and always will.
So anyway, when I said, ‘Remember him?’ Alice looked a bit funny and said, ‘Of course I remember him.’
And I said, ‘Oh. I wasn’t sure if you did because you haven’t really mentioned him in months and months. So I didn’t know if you’ve really thought about him much since the whole Battle of the Bands thing.’
There was a bit of a pause and then Alice said, ‘Oh my God, of course I have.’
I just stared at her and said, ‘What? Really?’ in a surprised sort of way.
And Alice looked really annoyed and said, ‘I’ve been thinking about him ever since the Battle of the Bands. I thought something might happen, but then I stopped walking to school with you so I didn’t see him. And I’ve been really, really sad about it, but I haven’t said one word to you about it because I knew it wasn’t a big deal in comparison with your wonderful new romance with Paperboy and then him going off to Canada, so I didn’t feel like I had a right to be so upset. But you never even asked whether I was upset or not! You never even thought about it!’
I felt absolutely awful. Usually when I am given out to I get all annoyed because I don’t think the other person is being fair, but the horrible thing about this was that Alice was right. I hadn’t thought about her and Bike Boy. I’d been totally
caught up in my own stuff. I was going to say something, but Alice was on a roll of anger (this was all very unusual for her).
‘And I’d tell myself that obviously your situation was much worse, and you had actually gone out with Paperboy and I’d only had about two conversations with Bike Boy and barely knew him, but, still, I felt really bad, and you knew I liked him and then you forgot all about it!’ she cried. ‘Because you’re just thinking about yourself and how miserable you are all the time! Me and Cass could … could be, I dunno, run over by a bus and you probably wouldn’t notice!’
‘I would!’ I said, which I suppose was a bit of stupid thing to say.
‘Would you?’ said Alice, in the same cross, kind of sarky voice, which wasn’t like her at all. She was getting very red in the face. ‘You know, Cass still sometimes asks whether I’m okay about him. And she tells me whenever she sees him around the area. She didn’t forget all about other people’s problems!’
And I started to get angry and say ‘I didn’t forget about your problems!’ but I stopped after ‘I’ because of course, I totally had. So instead I said, ‘I’m really sorry Alice. Really, really sorry.’
‘Good,’ said Alice, and burst into tears. And then of course, being Alice, she started apologising herself, and I kept saying ‘It’s me who should be apologising’ (though I was secretly relieved she wasn’t still yelling at me, even though I deserved it. I really am a terrible person). So in the end we both apologised, and I gave her a hug, and I kept saying I was sorry until her dad turned up, and she sent me a text about five minutes ago saying she was sorry for yelling at me, not that she really did yell, so there has been a lot of apologising and I think we are still friends. Unless she is just being nice to me in a polite, Alice-ish way and is secretly full of hatred and rage. But I don’t think so.
I feel really bad, though. A part of me is thinking ‘Well, my problems are properly serious, and she barely knew Bike Boy!’ But then I remember how absolutely awful I felt that day when I saw Paperboy in town with a girl and thought she was his girlfriend. I felt like my heart was broken even though I’d only talked to him once or twice. So poor Alice was probably feeling that bad, and I didn’t even think of her woe. I know I was worried that we were all growing apart, but this is even worse than I imagined. And she and Cass are talking about Alice’s angst together without me. But what I can I do?
Okay. I will start by making up some new rules for myself. And I will stick to them.