Puppies Are For Life (24 page)

‘Yes,’ Katy told him, ‘I went for a walk. And,’ she added quickly, ‘I’ve made you a cheese and red pepper omelette.’

‘Good.’ Paul smiled. ‘Good,’ he said again, his smile fading; he was half an hour later than he’d said he would be. The omelette could now be the consistency of leather. But he’d better not say anything about that.

The omelette turned out to be reasonably edible and he managed to clear his plate, with Katy leaning against the boiler watching every mouthful. As soon as he put down his knife and fork, she drew out the only other chair that the small kitchen possessed and sat opposite him.

‘Dad,’ she said in the tone of one intending to ask a favour, ‘I’ve been thinking.’

‘Uh-huh?’ He met her eyes.

‘Well, I saw this advert,’ she began, pulling a piece of crumpled paper from her jeans. Her eyes bright with excitement, she went on to tell him how she’d remembered seeing the place called Arrochar on the map and how she’d wondered whether she could walk that far, and reckoned she could. She had phoned the hotel and the manager suggested an immediate interview. ‘And would you believe it, Dad? They offered me the job on the spot!’

‘Receptionist in a hotel …’ Paul mused. It was
hardly what he would have chosen for his daughter. Better than nothing, though. And Katy looked happier than she’d done in a long time, so who was he to put a damper on it? ‘I think it’s a great idea. How clever of you to get it! Oh – but your hands. What about your hands?’

‘That’s the best part of all. I won’t have to do any typing. Well, maybe the odd menu and so on. Mostly the manager’s wife likes to do it. All I have to do is hand out keys and do a bit of bar work. I think I could just about pull a pint. The down side, of course, is that I’ll have to do shifts.’

‘Ah.’ Paul sat back; there had to be a flaw. ‘So that means long walks in the dark late at night, doesn’t it?’ And surely she didn’t expect him to wait up all hours with the car?

‘Well, that’s just it.’ Katy hesitated. ‘I thought it would be best to live in. Most of the other staff do – and I’ve been given the option.’ She looked at her father worriedly. ‘But if you don’t want me to leave you on your own …’

It struck Paul as she spoke that, for all her faults, he was going to miss her. She had helped to mask the emptiness left by Susannah. From now on he would have to come home to an empty house and a solitary meal, as well as a lonely bed. But it was better for her this way; she had her own life to live.

Katy was chewing her lip. ‘I could pop in to see you all the time … I’ll only be up the road … so … you don’t mind if I take the job – do you, Dad?’

‘Of course not. I’ll manage all right – I expect.’

‘Great! I’m going to ring Mum and tell her. Oh –’ she stopped half-way out of the room and looked guilty – ‘you don’t mind if I phone her, do you?’

She had been running up a big bill phoning her mother lately – much to Paul’s surprise. Absence certainly did seem to make the heart grow fonder.

‘Of course I don’t mind,’ he told her. Anything to help keep the family together.

‘Would – would you like to speak to her, Dad?’ Katy crossed her fingers. When was he going to do something about getting her back?

‘Er – not right now, Katy. Not right now.’ He wanted to. But he couldn’t.

Susannah clucked over the plant stand, mildly cursing Harvey. Trust him to go dashing off to Upper Heyford without the most important item: this plant stand was the very one Mrs Titchmarsh wanted to take down to Cornwall.

Well, there was only one thing for it: she would have to deliver it herself. She would go right now, stay the night at the cottage, and come straight back in the morning. The only snag was that she had doubts about staying at the cottage. Of course, it was her home and she had more right than anyone to stay in it, but she had left it in such unhappy circumstances, she wasn’t sure she could face it just yet. But where else was she to go … unless she went to the Old Dairy? A bit risky, that would be, even with Julia at her mother’s.

She was still undecided when she turned off the motorway. Her home or Harvey’s? Eeny meeny …

Well, she had better call in on Harvey and let him know where she was, and why she had had to come. Then she would take it from there.

Night had fallen when Susannah drew up
outside the Old Dairy. Julia’s car was not in evidence and neither was Harvey’s. But a light shone in the porch and the curtained windows glowed from unseen lamps inside.

Susannah sat and looked at the place, still unsure what to do. Supposing Julia came to the door? What should she say to her? A few more minutes ticked by while she rehearsed a suitable excuse to cover that eventuality, then she let herself out of the car.

Nevertheless, it was still a shock when Julia actually answered her knock.

‘Oh!’ Julia almost squealed with pleased surprise. ‘How nice to see you. Do come in. I suppose you wanted to see Harvey, really, didn’t you? Harvey, look who’s here!’ She ushered her visitor into the cottage, drawing the edges of a long silk robe over her large round breasts as she did so, and tightening the sash to secure it. ‘You’ll have to excuse the mess, I’m afraid.’ She giggled into her hand. ‘We aren’t usually quite this bad – are we, Harvey, love?’

Seeing Julia’s state of undress Susannah felt compelled to step inside and shut out the wintry wind, but her instinct was really to run away. One swift glance around the place had told her more than she wanted to know. Clothes were scattered about the floor – which Harvey, looking alternately startled and sheepish in a short striped bathrobe, was frantically trying to scoop up – along with cushions, a fringed throw, and a bottle of
champagne. Two champagne flutes were balanced on the hearth, and a sickly looking partly cut cake sat beside them.

Julia giggled again. ‘We’ve been celebrating,’ she confided, then added, as though Susannah might disapprove, ‘Oh, but I only had a drop.’

‘C-celebrating?’ Susannah’s eyes travelled across to Harvey, but he only got as far as opening his mouth.

‘Yes,’ Julia answered for him, her face growing pink and coy. She darted a look at Harvey. ‘We haven’t told anyone yet, but everyone will know soon.’ She almost did a little jump of triumph. She actually clapped her hands. ‘We’re going to have a baby! A baby after all this time. Neither of us can believe it.’

‘A baby!’ Susannah blurted out. She looked to Harvey for confirmation. ‘But – but that’s really marvellous,’ she managed to say. She thought quickly. She was no actress but clearly she was going to have to give the performance of her life. She couldn’t possibly cast any kind of shadow over Julia’s obvious joy.

And Harvey’s? Yes, he too was patently thrilled beneath his embarrassment, and trying not to look too smug. God, but this was a lot to take on board. Julia, however, saved her from having to do much more than nod and smile and give the odd polite laugh.

‘Yes, I know I shouldn’t be drinking in my condition –’ more giggles – ‘but you can’t really
blame me, can you? Not that I was all that thrilled at first, mind you, because I was up to my ears in exams. But Harvey’s going to help me with all that, even when the baby arrives.’ She nudged Susannah’s arm. ‘I doubt whether I’ll get a look-in with the baby, actually. Loves little kiddies, does Harvey.’

‘Yes – well –’ Susannah forced her biggest grin; he’d never shown much interest in Justin. ‘I can’t say how pleased I am. F-for you both. But I must let you get on with … your celebrations. Must dash. I – er – only popped in to ask you, Harvey, if you would deliver the plant stand I’ve got in the boot of my car. For Mrs Titchmarsh, it is. I’m only here for the night, you see, and Mrs Titchmarsh appears to be out.’ She nodded hard as she spoke, hoping Harvey would understand. He probably hadn’t the remotest idea that he’d left the plant stand behind.

Harvey stood looking at her, a bundle of clothes in his arms, a bra dangling over one wrist. ‘Plant stand? Yes, of course.’ But he was plainly mystified.

Susannah made for the door. ‘I’ll see myself out. And – and congratulations again to you. I hope it all goes well.’

‘Susannah! You’re back!’ Jan’s greeting was so warm and genuine that Susannah felt like the prodigal son. She wouldn’t have blamed Jan if she had given her the cold shoulder. ‘But you’re looking a bit peaky. And what a time to turn up.’

Susannah glanced at the kitchen clock before slipping off her boots. Had she been driving around for that long? Since Harvey and Julia’s news, time had had no meaning. She had simply sat in the car, letting it take her wherever it went while she sorted out her mind.

‘I just want a bed for the night,’ she told Jan. ‘I don’t want to put you all out.’

‘Nonsense, Susannah, good heavens. This is your home, you know.’ Jan had taken Susannah’s coat off her back and now she put a hand on her arm, eager to give her good news. ‘What do you think? We’re selling the farmhouse! And you’ll never guess who to.’

‘To whom,’ Frank corrected her, shambling into the room. He leaned over Susannah and pecked her on the cheek. ‘Looking pooped, my girl. What’ve you been getting up to?’

‘I expect she’s been working hard – haven’t you, dear? Business been going well? But you can tell us all about that in a minute. Let me get you a hot drink.’

Susannah slumped down at the table, afraid she was going to cry. She had been too incredulous up till now to feel anything else about Harvey. But now Jan’s and her father’s kind concern broke through her frail defences; hurt feelings began to overwhelm her.

‘As I was saying before Frank interrupted, we’ve got rid of the farmhouse at last. Those friends of ours in Poole – you know the ones with the
catamaran? Well, their son and daughter-in-law. They’re not put off at all by our little tale of woe. They’re a bit like that, you know: anything you can do, we can do better, sort of thing. And they’ve got stacks of money, more to the point. So –’ she put a mug of Ovaltine in front of Susannah – ‘as soon as it’s all settled we’ll be able to buy ourselves a modest little place somewhere, won’t we, Frank?’

‘That’s right.’ He pulled out a chair and sat down next to Susannah. Years seemed to have dropped from his shoulders since last she’d seen him. ‘And we’re going to do some private coaching to get a bit of extra money’

‘Yes!’ Jan joined them at the table, bringing two more mugs and some biscuits. ‘It’ll be much more interesting than lolling around in the sun for the rest of our lives.’

‘If you say so.’ Susannah pulled a disbelieving face, but had to admit they were probably right; if they didn’t know what they wanted out of life by now then they never would.

‘And how’s the world been treating you, Sue? Are you –?’ But the phone began to ring then and they all looked at each other, unsure as to who should answer it.

Susannah didn’t want to take it, but it was she who ended up doing so.

‘It’s me,’ Harvey whispered down the line. ‘I thought you’d be there by now. Julia’s gone to sleep.’

So what, was Susannah’s reaction, but she was too wound up to say anything.

‘Look,’ he went on and then foundered.

‘There’s no need to explain,’ she told him. She was suddenly tired of it all. There would be no question of his leaving Julia now – if there ever had been. She wasn’t even sure she wanted him on a permanent basis anyway. Oh, she was grateful for all that he’d done for her – he’d walked into her life when she needed someone who understood. But his usefulness had surely run out. If he’d stayed around any longer he might well have become a liability eventually. And if that all sounded callous – well, OK, it was. But that made two of them, didn’t it?

‘I feel I owe you an explanation …’ he went on.

‘I think I can fill in for myself.’ She sighed. ‘Let’s just call it a day, shall we? I’m tired and I’m going to bed.’

‘But I feel so bloody –’

‘Goodnight, Mr Webb. And goodbye. And good luck with your bundle of joy’

Jan and Frank gazed at her when she joined them again in the kitchen.

‘Paul?’ Jan asked hopefully.

Susannah just shook her head. She was saved from having to say any more by the arrival of Simon and Natalie. They had been to the cinema in Bath.

‘Mum!’ Simon’s face lit up – if that were possible; he looked happy enough already. Natalie was blooming too, her eyes bright and alert, her cheeks red from the cold. Susannah had been away from them little over a week, yet she found the change
quite remarkable. ‘Mum, we tried to phone you earlier on. In London, I mean. We didn’t know you were coming here. We wanted to tell you our news.’

‘More news? Good heavens.’

‘Well, it was Jan’s idea, really, though I suppose it’s been going through my mind too.’ He grinned, a shade embarrassed. ‘I’ve told Dad already, and he’s cock-a-hoop.’

‘You see,’ Natalie burst in, ‘Si’s going to apply to be a mature student. We’ve been finding out all about it and we think it can be done.’

‘But – but how? What will you live on?’ Susannah wanted to know.

‘I’m going to support him! When I’m completely well, of course. Oh, I’m sure we’ll be able to do it. I’m sure we’ll manage somehow.’

‘That’s wonderful news.’ Susannah hugged them both delightedly. All sorts of problems crammed themselves into her doubting mind. They had a hard road ahead of them; Simon’s future was by no means assured. For surely never before in history had so many people been so well qualified for so few jobs. But their happiness was infectious, and as Susannah knew all too well, if you believed you could succeed, you would.

‘Jan,’ she said next day when her step-mother was packing up sandwiches and insisting that Susannah take them back to London with her because she obviously wasn’t bothering to feed herself properly. ‘Jan, I –’ She stopped. She had
been about to refuse the sandwiches, even though they were making her mouth water. But then she was struck – forcefully – by the older woman’s innate kindness. She couldn’t think why it should have come to her at that precise moment, but it did. And she knew that her stupid bitterness had finally burnt itself out.

‘What, dear?’ Jan went on with her buttering.

Susannah was hanging her head now, scuffing her shoe against the kitchen cupboard like a two-year-old. This wasn’t going to be easy. In fact she would sooner put her hand on the chopping board and have Jan lop off her fingers. ‘I … wanted to apologise. For all the trouble I’ve been. I know I’ve been such a pain. Always. Ever since … and oh, Jan, I wish I hadn’t been. You simply never deserved it.’

‘Susannah, don’t …’

‘But I must. I don’t know what we’d all have done without you. You’ve sorted out the kids, and tried to help me, and never said a word about me being horrible to Paul. You’ve been an absolute saint. And what have I ever done for you? Nothing but get in your hair.’

Jan merely slipped her arm around her, too overcome to speak. They clasped each other in silence, grieving for all the wasted years. And Frank, putting his head round the door just then to find his wife and daughter in an embrace, thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Closing the door, he crept away, blowing noisily into his handkerchief.

‘Won’t you come home soon?’ Jan asked Susannah tearfully, seeing her off in her car. ‘I mean, what’s to keep you in London? Surely you can do your work here just as easily?’

Susannah reeled out her seat belt and spent a while clicking the fastener. Jan had a point: why couldn’t she come home now? Why had she felt so compelled to leave it in the first place? It was hard to see why now, difficult to recapture those feelings of desperation, of needing to be left alone to get on with her work, to succeed. Perhaps it was because she had done just that: she had proved her point. A warm glow began inside her; to think that she was being asked to return. The conquering hero! They wanted her!

But Jan’s next words quickly scotched that fond notion. Seeing Susannah’s hesitation she added, ‘We’ll all be gone from here before long.’

She smiled wryly up at Jan. How could she expect any of them to want her now? She had not been there for them when they needed her. ‘I’ll think about it. I don’t know. Am I … welcome to come for Christmas?’

To her surprise Jan firmed her lips. ‘There’s only one place I’d be happy for you to be at Christmastime, and I think you know where that is. It’s where you ought to be. With Paul. Oh, Susannah, I wish you’d get back together again.’

Susannah turned on the ignition and selected reverse gear, shaking her head a little. ‘I don’t know that Paul would want that. I don’t think he likes
the new me. Go indoors now, Jan, it’s getting cold. You’ll catch your death out here.’

When she got back to the London house it seemed strangely silent. Huddled inside her coat against the bitter cold she strolled from room to room. In her new work room materials were stacked high. She could no longer count her orders on the fingers of one hand and had had to buy a book in which to keep track of them. She flicked through it: enough work to keep her busy for several months, and a whole world out there for the taking. She ought to be over the moon. Instead she felt dull, and listless, and lonely. ‘Doing your own thing’ seemed suddenly pointless, if in the process you lost all those you ever cared for. Molly had been right. You had to have someone to share it with: to rejoice in your triumphs and commiserate with your failures. And now she didn’t even have Harvey.