Protect Me: Oakville Series:Book Three (26 page)

W
E’VE ONLY
been home a couple hours and Paul is acting very strange. There are constant texts coming in and phone calls he has to take in another room. What is so important that it’s taking him away from our time together? We’ve been apart for weeks, I didn’t think anything would keep him away from me. Does he not want to be with me because he’s angry with me? I wouldn’t blame him. Even though I thought I was protecting him, our baby, and our friends, what I did was wrong. I put myself and, even worse, our baby in serious danger. The condition of my face is proof enough of that. I should have just told him right away about Ray’s threats.

Paul walks back into our bedroom, his phone still in hand. “Doll face, Amber’s gonna come over for a little while and visit. I need to go help Kyle down at the bar,” he says with an apologetic look on his face. I can feel the heat move up my face. What the hell is going on? He’s really going to leave me now, when we haven’t spent any time together? He is trying to avoid me, just like I thought. Panic begins to set in from the thought that he may not be able to forgive me.

“What’s so important that Kyle needs you right now?” I bark, realizing how nasty I sounded. Starting a fight will get me nowhere. “I’m sorry. It’s just…we’ve been apart for so long and we’ve only spent a couple hours together. Most of which you’ve been distracted with your phone.” Paul smiles as he lays next to me on the bed. He holds his arm out, encouraging me to snuggle into him. Resting my head on his chest, he wraps his arm around me. I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent. I could stay like this forever, only getting up for food and bathroom breaks. Being here like this with him is my heaven. In here, we’re protected from the world. Protected from anything or anyone who’d want to hurt us. Wrapped in his arms is like being wrapped in a safety blanket.

“Do you trust me, doll face?” Paul asks as he kisses the top of my head. Of course I trust him. What kind of question is that? I trust him with my life. That’s not my issue. I’m being stingy. I want him all to myself. At least, for a little while. It’s the only way I can find out whether he’ll forgive me. Soon enough, we’ll have to go back to the real world and back to me looking over my shoulder, wondering when, or if, Ray will come for me again.

“Yes, I do,” I reply.

“I’m working on something with Kyle. You’ll know all about it tomorrow and after that, I’m all yours. No interruptions. For now, I need you to trust me, okay?” I look up at him. Something in his eyes tells me that whatever this is, it’s important to him. I put him through hell these last few weeks, I owe him this much. I run my hand along the slight stubble on his face, admiring how handsome he is.

“On one condition.”

“And what might that be?” he asks and slides down the bed until we’re face to face. When I feel his breath across my face, my heart skips a beat. How can someone affect me so much? So easily. He brushes his lips lightly against mine, causing goose bumps to spread all over my skin.

Closing my eyes, I try to gather my composure. One little touch of his lips and all thoughts fly right out of my head. Finally, I remember what I want to say. “After you finish helping Kyle, I get you all to myself. No phones, no televisions, and most importantly, no leaving this bed.” A sexier than sin smile slowly spreads across his face.

“That can be arranged. There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” he says sweetly. Lightly, his lips kiss mine. Within seconds, the kiss heats up. His tongue passes through my lips, exploring my mouth furiously. I can feel it all the way down to my curling toes. But, this kiss seems different from all the other kisses he’s ever given me. There’s a need there. Like I’m a lifeline he’s clinging to. Or…could it be that he’s having a hard time saying goodbye?

When he breaks the kiss, I’m left breathless and wanting more. So much more. And judging by the lustful look in his eyes, so does he. That is, until he scans my battered face. The pain is so evident on his face. What is it that pains him so much? Is it that I was injured or the fact that I left him thinking I didn’t want him? Whatever the cause, it doesn’t change the fact that I hate myself for causing him the slightest amount of pain.

The doorbell sounds and Paul hops off the bed to go answer it. I’m assuming it’s Amber. To avoid the look Paul just gave me coming from her, as well as the pity I’m sure will accompany it, I decide to go into the bathroom to try to cover some of this up. I can’t stop the tears from falling when I see my gruesome reflection in the mirror. I’m not even halfway through my pregnancy and I’m already proving to be a terrible mother. I endangered our baby by going with Ray. How could I think I was actually protecting her? What made me think I was capable of this? I’ve had no role models. No mother to teach me what it takes to be a good mother. The tears are falling faster now. I don’t buy into the bullshit of it all comes naturally. I’ve seen firsthand how some people are just not meant to be parents. What if I’m one of them? Even worse, what if Paul think I am?

The knock on the bathroom door startles me, causing me to jump. “Holly? You decent? I’m coming in,” Amber yells through the door. As she walks through, there’s a huge smile on her face, until she notices my tears. Within seconds, her arms are tightly wrapped around me, pulling me in for a comforting hug. “What’s the matter, sweetie? Did Paul make you cry? I’ll kick his firm little ass if he did,” she jokes. Well, it’s partly a joke. I don’t doubt that she’d at least try to kick his ass if he hurt me. I smile into her shoulder, but start to cry even harder. “Talk to me, Holly. Now,” she orders and I lose it even more.

Amber squeezes me tighter. My shoulders shudder from my sobbing. I keep trying to catch my breath so I can tell her why I’m so upset. She guides me out of the bathroom and pulls me down to sit on the bed. “Take a deep breath and tell me what has you so upset,” Amber says in that calming, motherly tone of hers. She’s one of those women who is meant to be a mother. She’s going to be amazing at it. Cody is one lucky little man to have the parents he has.

“I’m going to be a horrible mother. Look at how badly I’ve screwed up already. I could’ve gotten us both killed. I have no idea how to be a mother, let alone a good one,” I bawl. Amber begins to laugh. Seriously? She’s going to laugh at me while I’m having a nervous fucking breakdown?

“Yes, what you did wasn’t the smartest move. You should’ve come to us. But the fact that you left with a man who terrified you in order to protect your family and friends tells me a lot about the kind of mother you’ll be. You’re brave and caring, willing to put aside your fears for the safety of the ones you love. Hell, that’s being a parent in a nutshell. You put their needs before your own. Nobody is perfect, Holly, and babies don’t come with a manual. We learn as we go. Mistakes will be made. The most important thing is to love them unconditionally. I think that’s something you’ll be able to do without a doubt. You’ve got this and you have Paul to help. I have a feeling that together, the two of you will give that little girl so much love, it’ll be coming out of her ears,” she says, smiling brightly at me.

Instantly, I feel a little better. I’m also relieved that she doesn’t seem to be too angry with me for my stupid choices. Losing her as a friend would be unbearable. She’s the first best friend I’ve ever had. I need her in my life to keep my crazy ass sane and in check. “Thank you. What would I do without you?” I say, sincerely.

“Oh, I don’t know. If I had to guess, you’d probably go bat shit crazy,” she teases. “Besides, do you remember how many of these hormonal melt downs I had? It’s perfectly normal to be freaking out and scared. I was. The important thing is that we are all here to help you through it.” I grab her in my arms and hug her tight. When she pulls back, there’s an enormous smile on her face. “Now, would you like to know what’s been going on with your man since you got home?” Something about her smile and happy demeanor tells me I really want to know.

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” I ask, telling her to spill. Her smile widens, if that’s even possible.

“Okay, girls, come on in,” Amber yells toward the front of the house. Becky, Chelsie, and Taryn all walk in, wearing smiles that match Amber’s. Now, I’m really curious as to what’s up. “We are all here for a slumber-slash-bachelorette party,” she squeals, clapping her hands. I’m confused. Whose bachelorette party are we having? Taryn and Marcus are already married. And as far as I know, Becky and Chelsie are single.

“What are you talking about? Whose bachelorette party? I wasn’t gone that long, was I?” I question. Looking from girl to girl, they all have this sappy, doe-eyed look on their faces. I swear, if they don’t tell me what the hell is going on, I’m gonna go postal on their asses.

Laughing, Amber finishes, “Your party. Paul is planning a surprise wedding for you. We’re all here to help you celebrate your final night of freedom and get ready for tomorrow.”

“He’s what?” The range of emotions flowing through me right now is making me dizzy. I’m shocked that he’s doing this. Here I was, not ten minutes ago, thinking he may not want me anymore. That’s obviously not the case. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love him more than I already do, he proves me wrong.

My heart is so full. Overflowing with love. Love... I never expected to have in my life. Friends and a family I thought would always be out of my reach. The tears start again, but this time, it’s for a whole different reason. Suddenly, all my fears are gone. I know in my heart that no matter what, I have people who will be always have my back. With all of these people I love in my corner to help guide me, I know, without a doubt, I can do this.

“He’s really doing this? I’m getting married tomorrow?” I ask nervously. My entire body is trembling from the excitement and anticipation of being Mrs. Paul Walters. The girls all burst into a chorus of congratulations mixed with some girly squeals. And so, the whirlwind begins.