Playing With Fire (Firehouse Fourteen Book 2) (17 page)

The rush of fast-flowing water echoed in the gorge around them. The sun hadn't quite made it over the mountains yet and a swirling fog hovered over the river in front of them, cloaking everything in a mystery known only to Mother Nature. Jay inhaled deeply, enjoying the mingled scents of damp earth and green foliage. Somebody smacked him from behind and he stumbled forward, catching himself at the last minute before he sprawled face-first over a fallen log.

"It's too freaking early to be communing with nature, so knock it off." Jimmy grumbled, pushing past Jay to sit on the log he had almost tripped over.

"What's the matter, Jimmy? Head hurt?"

Jay laughed at the expression Jimmy gave him. He couldn't help that he was in a good mood.

Despite the early hour.

Despite the barely-there throbbing at the base of his skull.

He looked behind him and saw the rest of their small group moving along the trail, each carrying a paddle and either wearing or carrying a helmet and floatation vest. There were eight total that had decided to go on the rafting trip.

And Dave wasn't among them.

Jay smiled again as the group gathered around, his gaze resting on Angie. Her face was just a little pale, her eyes wide as they looked around—and stopped on him. She offered him a hesitant smile then looked over at the two river guides who were just finishing the raft preparations.

Jay moved through the small crowd, not stopping until he reached Mike. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "I know, I know. You don't have to say anything. It'll be us four in one raft, I got it. Now shut up so I can listen to the instructions."

Jay laughed and turned back around but he wasn't paying attention as much as some of the others were. He'd done this before, knew what the guides were saying. Pete grimaced at some of the instructions then turned back to Jay.

"Shit, we're all going to die. Don't stand. Feet up. Curl into a ball. Stay away from undercut rocks. Whose freaking idea was this, anyway?"

Jay laughed again, his eyes settling on Angie. She wore the same expression as Jimmy, only he was pretty sure hers wasn't the result of a hangover. He made his way over to her, smiling when she looked up at him.

"Ferris wheel?"

She blinked at the question, then realization sparked in her eyes. She glanced over at the rafts, to the river beyond, then back at Jay. Her mouth tilted, ever so slightly, at one corner as she shook her head.

"No. At least, I don't think so. I've never done this before."

"You'll be fine, don't worry. It's fun."

"I take it that means you've gone white water rafting before?"

"A few times."

Angie nodded but didn't say anything, and Jay couldn't help but notice that something resembling relief crossed her face. He bit back his smile, listening to the river guides as they finished their talk. Then it was time to put the rafts in the water and move out.

Jay was careful not to be too obvious, but it was easier than he thought it would be to make sure Angie was in the same raft with him and Mikey and Nick. Actually, Angie just drifted over and joined them, not even bothering to look at the rest of the guys.

Jay told himself not to read too much into it.

"Hey, something is not right with this. Why are both women in the same raft? Moore, get over here, I want to switch," Pete called. Jay laughed and shook his head as he climbed onto the raft.

"No way Miller. If I'm going to die, I want to be surrounded by pretty scenery."

"You're going to get a paddle upside the head if you don't shut-up." Mike settled on the side next to him and across from Angie, then turned and frowned when she noticed the seating arrangement. "Angie, let's switch."

Jay smothered his smile as the two women changed places, the raft rocking under the motion. Their guide, Mark, took them through the basic paddling instructions, making sure everyone worked together, then they started downstream, heading into the early morning mist.

Jay looked back and noticed that Pete, Jimmy, Adam and Dale were still arguing over who was going to sit where, then he laughed when their guide started issuing orders and telling them to just get in. He knew their own raft wouldn't go too far ahead and sure enough, they headed closer to the bank just a few minutes into the trip to wait.

Jay rested the paddle across his lap and looked around, taking in the abundance around them. The ground lifted on either side of the river, pine and oak growing thick and green. He squinted and looked downriver, seeing the outline of the steeper cliffs as the mountains grew taller and more rugged. He looked down and noticed Angie watching him with a smile.

"It is gorgeous, isn't it?"

He nodded, then looked over at Mike and Nick. "What do you think so far?"

"I'll let you know once we get started, okay?" Mike still didn't look thrilled at the adventure, so Nick reached out and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

Shouts greeted them from behind and Jay turned to see the other raft finally moving their way. Mark leaned forward, giving them instructions as they pushed back into the current. Their first rapid was coming up, an easy Class I. Jay glanced over at Angie, saw the slight tightening of her mouth as she mentally prepared herself.

Then they were there. Paddle, paddle, paddle. Stop.

And done. Jay laughed at the nearly identical expressions on both Mike's and Angie's faces as they looked behind them, surprised to hear they had just shot their first rapid.

"That was it?" Angie asked, almost looking disappointment.

"We've got some bigger ones coming up, don't worry. Just keep doing what you did, and it'll be a piece of cake," Mark assured them.

Angie looked over her shoulder at Jay, her smile bright, excitement now clear on her face. He felt an answering smile on his own face and realized this was probably one of the best ideas he had come up with yet.

**

The morning passed quickly. The sun rose higher, burning off the last of the mist, and beat down on them, hot and bright. Jay adjusted the strap on his sunglasses then sat them back on his face, making sure they were secure. They weren't his best pair, but that didn't mean he wanted to lose them.

"Alright guys, we've got a Class IV coming up. We can take the easy way and shoot straight through, or we can get a little crazy. What do you guys want to do?"

Angie and Mike exchanged glances, then looked back at Mark.

"Get a little crazy," they said in unison. Jay looked over at Nick, one eyebrow raised in amusement.

"I think they're getting a little cocky."

"Hey, this was your idea. I'm putting the blame squarely on your shoulders."

Jay laughed and shifted, repositioning his feet so he was more balanced on the raft. Mark gave them instructions on which way they would paddle, and what to expect each minute, along with what to do if they fell out.

Get back to the raft, or aim for the middle—away from the undercut rocks near the bank.

Everyone dipped their paddles in, waiting, then Mark shouted his instructions and everyone dug in, pulling harder as the raft shot forward. Waves of water pummeled them, pushing and pulling at the raft as it tumbled left then right, sailing over a rock then coming back down.

"Right side forward, left side back." Mark's voice carried over the roar of thousands of gallons of water forcing its way between the rocks. Jay's paddle met air as the raft went airborne then landed nose first. The right side, their side, scraped against a boulder and tilted up, up. Jay dug his foot in and leaned back as the nose of the raft dipped down once more. A wall of water crashed over them, leaving everyone wet and sputtering before disappearing behind them.

Jay heard a surprised scream and turned forward just as Angie lost her balance. She wheeled her arms, her grip still tight on the paddle as she started falling backward. Jay lunged for her, his fingers just catching a strap of her jacket before she tumbled backward and disappeared into the water.

"Holy shit." Jay wasn't sure who yelled, didn't care as his heart dropped into his stomach, fear holding him in an icy death grip. His eyes scanned the water, searching for signs of Angie. Her paddle broke the surface, straight up like some misplaced street sign, but he didn't see her.

And then he realized she was still holding onto the paddle as the river swept her away.

"Paddle, paddle, paddle!" Mark shouted the instructions, leaning hard on his paddle to steer them through the rapids. Jay didn't know where he found the strength, only knew that they had to paddle, that if they didn't, they wouldn't reach Angie in time.

He muttered a prayer over and over, watching as that lone paddle moved downstream, shifting away from the middle and closer to the right bank, closer to the unforgiving, undercut rocks.

But Angie still hadn't surfaced and Jay's fear grew. She was alright, she had to be alright because she was still holding that damn paddle straight up. She had to be alright.

His arms burned as he dug deeper into the water, pulling with everything he had to reach Angie. And they would reach her, because the alternative was unbearable.

"Look, there!"

Jay looked in the direction Mike was indicating with a nod of her head and felt a sliver of short-lived relief when he saw Angie's head break the surface. Her eyes widened in shock before she turned onto her back, her feet stretched out in front of her. Her body bounced over another rock and she went under again, the water claiming her one more time.

"Faster! There's another Class IV coming up. Paddle, paddle."

Fear like he had never known before gripped Jay and he struggled to push it away, knowing only that he had to paddle—hard, fast—to reach Angie before her body was battered into the rocks.

She broke the surface once more, her arms flailing by her side, the paddle still in her hand. He watched her face harden in determination as she turned in the raging water then flipped over, now on her stomach, her feet kicking against the water as she aimed for the raft.

Then they were beside her and he was reaching down, paddle forgotten when his hands closed in a death grip on her vest as he pulled her in. She shot over the side and landed in a sprawled heap on top of him in the middle of the raft. Mike quickly shifted, taking Jay's spot on the raft as Mark called out instructions.

Paddle. Paddle. Paddle.

Stop.

And just like that, the water calmed, becoming nothing more than a flat surface that reflected the mountains looming on either side of them.

Jay closed his eyes and said a quick prayer, then scrambled to a sitting position. Angie was still sprawled on top of him, her chest moving up and down with heavy breaths.

"Angie, shit. Talk to me. Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes and looked at him for a long second, then a wide smile broke her face and shone brightly in her eyes.

"I didn't lose my paddle!"

Lunch was anything but subdued. In fact, the excitement almost resembled a party.

And Angie felt like the guest of honor.

Her swim through the rapid had been told and retold from everyone's perspective. From listening to them, it sounded like she had faced certain death and come out unscathed.

But she saw it from a different perspective, and didn't think it was quite that bad. Actually, all she could remember was water. Lots of water. Rushing over her, battering her, shooting her over and around rocks. Quiet words of reassurance, repeating themselves over and over in her mind. And the memory of Jay's face, his gray eyes intense as they watched over her.

Don't panic. Stay calm.

Keep your feet up.

Swim to the raft.

Don't panic. Stay calm.

The words in her head had been in Jay's voice. Calming. Reassuring.

And then the rushing wall of water was gone and he was there, leaning over the side and pulling her into the raft, his strong arms tight around her, protecting, comforting, as they went through another rapid.

Yes, her perspective was just a little different than everyone else's. And while she was in no hurry to repeat the experience, she had to admit that it had been pretty exciting.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Jay placed his plate of food on the table, then straddled the bench next to her.

"Yes, I'm fine. For the hundredth time."

"How's your thumb?"

Angie looked down at the only injury she had suffered, a small avulsion to the fleshy part between her right thumb and forefinger. She held her hand up and waved it front of him.

"All better, see? Jimmy bandaged it for me."

"Yeah, Jay. Give it a break. I do know what I'm doing, you know."

Jay shot him a dirty look then turned back to her. He opened his mouth but Angie stopped him with a smile.

"I'm fine. Now eat before your burger gets cold."

She turned back to her own plate and took another bite of the potato salad. Lunch was included in the trip and nobody hesitated to attack the food. Including her.

It was funny how hungry body surfing a Class IV rapid could make someone.

Angie shook her head and almost laughed. If she wasn't careful, she'd start believing the exaggerated retellings of the entire event.

"I got to tell you, Angie, that really was impressive. The way you held your paddle up the entire time? I wish I had a camera." Adam laughed as he walked by her. It was the most he had ever said to her, ever, and she couldn't help smiling at the feeling of fitting in, of belonging, that settled over her.

She wasn't just Dave's sister anymore. No, now she was actually one of them. It was weird and funny and left her with a warm tingly feeling all at the same time and she didn't know why.

Everyone was pretty much finished eating now and they were either hanging around talking and joking, or playing with the corn hole game that was set up on the other side of the picnic area. And while Angie thought it was nice that she seemed to be one of them now, she couldn't help but be grateful that there was nobody else around them just this minute.

It was just her and Jay.

Jay pushed his empty plate away then shifted closer to her, so close that his knees pushed against her thigh. His hand reached out and gently caressed her leg, heat instantly warming her as his eyes held hers. They were serious, deep and intense, and she shifted under the weight of his gaze.

"You scared the living hell out of me." His voice was pitched low, so low that she almost couldn't hear him. She hesitated, not sure what to do or say.

Then she just stopped thinking and placed her hand over his and threaded their fingers together.

"I'm sorry." She whispered the words, her gaze steady as she watched him, trying to let him know that she wasn't talking about her ride down the river. He watched her for long seconds, then his mouth tilted up in a grin and he squeezed her hand.

And just like that, the stress and tension that had been weighing on her for the last several weeks vanished. She had been foolish, so foolish, to call things off with Jay, not when he made her feel the way he did. And for what? Because her brother didn't approve? It wasn't the first time Dave hadn't approved of something she did. She had never let that stop her before, so why now? Had she used her brother's disapproval as an excuse because she was afraid of what she was feeling? Stupid. So stupid.

She leaned forward, her heart tripping in her chest, wanting to feel Jay's lips against hers. She closed her eyes, anticipation thick between them.

"You know, you two really do make a cute couple."

Angie jumped, startled, and looked around only to notice that pretty much everyone was suddenly watching them. Her face heated and she looked down, embarrassed.

"Pete, you're a fucking moron."

"What? What did I say?"

Angie heard a mix of voices and answers in reply but didn't pay any attention to them because all her focus was suddenly on Jay. He gripped her chin in his hand and tipped her head up, forcing her to look at him. And she was drawn in, losing herself in those mesmerizing eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

Her heart skipped wildly and she felt a small moan in the back of her throat. She leaned toward him, trying to get closer, and placed her hand against his bare chest. Heat from his body singed her, his lips stirring the embers deep inside her to life.

"Damn. Now I know why Jay wanted her in the raft with him."

She felt Jay smile against her mouth just before he broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers, his shoulders shaking in soundless mirth. Angie squeezed his hand then straightened on the wooden bench, her face heating as she stared at the table, not quite able to look around.

Something flew across the field of her peripheral vision and she looked up in time to see the remains of a hamburger bun, coated with ketchup and mustard, hit Pete square in the chest. It stuck there for a split second then dropped to the ground, leaving a mixture of sauce glued to the center of his chest.

He groaned and wiped at the mess on his shirt, then looked over to see Mike shaking her head at him.

"You really are a moron, Pete."

And Angie laughed, the sound coming from deep inside her, clear and joyful as the last of her worries evaporated in the clear mountain air around them.

**

The bus bounced along the rutted road, jarring and swaying under them. Jay shifted then readjusted his hold around Angie, settling her head more comfortably against his chest.

He had no idea how she was even sleeping.

Granted, it had been a long day, starting as soon as everyone got up before six that morning. And it had been a day filled with fresh air, exertion, exercise, excitement.

Near drowning.

Jay closed his eyes and said another quick prayer of thanks to whoever was listening. He never wanted to feel that kind of fear again. Ever. Once was more than enough, more than he could bear to handle.

He dropped a kiss on the top of Angie's head and held her more tightly against him.

It was funny how something like that quickly put your priorities in perspective. He didn't think Angie yet realized how serious her swim downriver had been, how dangerous. How close she really came to serious injury or worse. But he did, and he was still shaken by it. And he realized, at the instant he thought he might never see her smile again, might never be able to hold her in his arms again, that Angie was his top priority. Screw work, screw Dave. His top priority was Angie, period.

And in that same instant he realized, with sharp clarity, that he loved her. It was as simple as that.

As terrifying and complicated as that.

He almost told her, when they had been sitting at the picnic table at lunch, but he stopped himself. He didn't want to tell her something so important, so earth-shatteringly profound, in front of a bunch of the guys from work. He wanted to save it for a tender, intimate moment, when it was just the two of them.

His brows lowered in a frown as he quickly rethought that. Maybe not intimate. He didn't want her to think he was declaring something so special in the middle of some passionate moment just because he was in the middle of that moment.

But he didn't want to share it in front of the guys he worked with, either.

He dropped another kiss on the top of her head then opened his eyes and looked up, surprised to see Nick studying him. He felt like he had been caught in the middle of doing something he shouldn't have been and awkwardly cleared his throat. But Nick kept studying him, his gaze darting between Jay and Angie.

"You going to tell her?" Nick's voice was pitched low, barely audible over the whine of the engine as they bounced once more. Jay automatically tightened his hold around Angie, and he noticed Nick did the same with Mike.

How in the hell were they both sleeping?

The bus jarred one more time, then the surface changed to asphalt, smoothing out under them.

Nick turned back and looked at him once more, repeating his earlier question. "So, are you going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

Nick raised one eyebrow at him, then shook his head and chuckled. "I can see it clear as day on your face. I know, because that's the same expression I see every morning and every night when I look in the mirror."

Jay smiled, just the barest of grins, and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you do. Damn good thing too, or else I'd have to kick your ass."

They both grinned at each other, grown men acting like love sick fools, and Jay was suddenly glad that nobody was paying them any attention. Or, if they were, that they couldn't hear what they were talking about. He glanced around, just in case. Just as he thought, everyone else was either dozing, or zoning out as they stared out the window.

"You know there's going to be a shit storm when we get back, right?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Any idea how you're going to handle it?"

Jay sighed and shook his head, then stared out the window as the bus barreled down Route 19, on its way back to the rafting center. He had no idea what was going to happen when they got back to the campsite, only knew that something would.

Because he had no intention of pretending today hadn't happened. No intention of pretending that Angie wasn't with him, that she wasn't his.

"I haven't thought that far ahead, but I'm sure I'll think of something."

"No you won't, because I will." The sleepy voice was muffled against his chest, but still loud enough for him to hear. He stiffened in surprised then moved his arm when Angie straightened next to him and stretched. She gave him a sleepy smile then leaned forward and placed a quick kiss against his lips.

"He's my brother, Jay. I'll handle this."

"Angie—"

She cut him off with another kiss then pulled back and stared deep into his eyes, her gaze almost pleading. "I know, I didn't handle it right the first time, which is why I need to talk to him, not you."

"That's not what I was going to say."

"I know." She ran her finger along his lower lip, her eyes almost sad. "But I have to, okay? I
need
to, Jay."

His eyes searched hers for a long minute before he blew out his breath. He didn't want her to have to deal with it, with any of it, but the unspoken need was clear in her eyes and he knew he wouldn't stop her.

Not unless he had to, and then he'd have no problem getting between her and Dave.

But he didn't say any of that, just sighed again and nodded. "Fine. You can talk to him. I just wish to hell I didn't suddenly feel like freaking Romeo and Juliet."

Nick turned around his seat and faced both of them, his expression just the tiniest bit amused. "You know they both died, right?"

"Thanks. Thanks a lot, Mr. English Lit teacher. Really? You couldn't come up with something better than that?" Jay didn't know whether to laugh or throw something at him. Considering he didn't have anything handy to throw, he chose to laugh.

But only a little, the sound just a bit forced. Because Nick's comment worried him a little too much. No, he didn't think things would escalate to the point of death, but Mike's words from yesterday came back to him.

Something
was
going on with Dave, and he had changed over the last several months. Jay had no idea what could have happened and he didn't think it was just because he and Angie had started seeing each other. No, there was something else.

He just didn't know what the hell it was.

They didn't have much time for more conversation because the bus turned off the highway, then turned again onto another semi-paved road that was barely wide enough for the bus to comfortably navigate. Five jarring minutes later, the bus pulled into the top parking lot of the rafting outfit and everyone piled out.

They still had to return their gear, and they had already planned on using the shower facilities there instead of the more primitive one back at the campsite. Because who would turn down hot water? That only took another five minutes. Well, at least for the guys. Angie and Mike were still in the women's locker room, doing only who knew what.