Playing For Keeps (23 page)

"I'll be in my room when you're ready
to talk. So, just yell or call when you're ready," he said loudly,
feeling like a useless idiot and not having a damn clue what to do.
He left, hoping she'd come to him when she was ready.

******************

Haley spent half the night crying and
waiting for Jason to crawl through the window and hold her. When
she realized that wasn't going to happen she grabbed a pillow and a
throw blanket and headed for the couch, unable to sleep in her own
bed without Jason.

She couldn't believe how much this
hurt. She'd been an idiot to think she could prepare herself for
this moment. Losing Jason was hard enough, but the way he'd hurt
her......

In one night she'd apparently lost so
much, her best friend, boyfriend, her virginity and her heart. On
top of that it appeared she'd lost a few of her friends, which she
really could care less about if truth be told. There was a reason
after all why she kept putting off girl's night and it had very
little to do with Jason. They'd been a part of the old Haley's
life, the pushover version of herself where she never spoke up for
herself and let others push her around. A few months ago when they
started hassling her about Jason and letting her know they couldn't
believe Jason settled for someone like her she should have cut them
out of her life, but hesitated. She didn't like hurting anyone's
feelings and apparently Jason didn't know that about
her.

How could he have thought she would do
that to him? She could just imagine what Amy and her friend Kate,
well mostly Kate, could have said to upset him, but what she
couldn't understand is why he didn't talk to her first.

Admittedly it was a conversation they
should have had in the beginning, but that didn't excuse his
behavior. He'd set out to seduce her consequences be damned. It
hadn't mattered if she had her reasons for wanting to wait or how
she felt for that matter. He'd only cared about himself.

She wished she'd realized that sooner,
especially before last night. All these years wasted and for what?
A horrible experience she could never take back. For that alone she
would never be able to forgive Jason.

*************

"You're out of eggs," Mitch
yelled.

"I don't care," Jason said, never
taking his eyes away from Haley's front door.

Around three this morning he'd
realized he'd fucked up this situation even more by not going to
her. He spent the next two hours going over every single moment
from the night before, trying to figure out exactly when he'd
fucked up and made a list. After he made sure he hadn't missed
anything he folded the three page list, front and back, and stuffed
it in his back pocket and came outside waiting for Haley so he
could start apologizing.

He contemplated waking her up, but
then he'd have one more thing to apologize for so he settled for
waiting on his front step. A half hour ago Mitch decided to join
him after he spotted him waiting outside on his way home. It hadn't
taken long for the other man to figure out that he'd fucked
up.

"Are you going to sit out here all
day?" Mitch asked, stepping out the front door. "I'm starving.
Let's go get something for breakfast. By the time we get back Haley
will be up and you can go grovel."

Jason stubbornly shook his head. "I'm
not leaving until I talk to her. Besides, I'm not
hungry."

"Holy Christ," Mitch mumbled, crossing
himself.

He ignored Mitch and focused on
Haley's front door. A few minutes later it opened and Haley
stumbled out. Jason was on his feet within seconds and heading for
her. He really wasn't sure how much longer he would have been able
to wait before breaking into her house and begging for her
forgiveness.

"Haley, I....," he trailed off when he
spotted the large duffle bag she was half carrying, half dragging.
"What's going on?"

For the first time in months Haley's
face didn't light up when she saw him. She pushed her glasses back
up her nose and went back to pulling the bag.

"I'm going away," she said, sounding
sad.

"For how long?" Jason asked, feeling
as though his entire world was crashing down around him.

"A week," Haley said, walking past him
as she dragged that damn bag.

A week? No, they couldn't be apart for
a week. That was too much time. A week thinking over how badly he'd
fucked up and how much better off without him she would be was not
what they needed. They needed to work this out here and now so he
could get on with the groveling.

"I don't think that's such a great
idea, Haley," he said, automatically lifting the bag and placing it
in her opened trunk for her when she began struggling to lift it.
"Why don't we go inside and talk this over?"

She shook her head stubbornly. "I
can't. If I don't go I'll be out of a thousand dollars."

He waved that aside like it was
nothing. "I'll reimburse you. Just stay here and let me explain
about last night."

"There's nothing to explain, Jason,"
Haley said, shaking her head sadly. "I think it's for the best if
we end things now."

Her words felt like a punch to the
gut. "You're just mad, Haley. Maybe...maybe you're right. Maybe you
just need a week to think things over," he said quickly, desperate
to do or say anything that would make her take it back. "Take a
week, think it over. We both knew I was going to fuck up at some
point, my little grasshopper. After you think about it you'll
realize that's all it was. Then you'll come back here and I'll
grovel and we'll move past this."

She couldn't even look at him as she
said, "I'm really sorry, Jason."

Jason couldn't move, could hardly
breathe as Haley stood up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his
cheek. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding close to tears. "We'll
always be friends," she said, delivering the killing
blow.

Chapter 20

Haley just barely stopped herself from
looking for Jason when she stepped back outside and saw that he'd
left. It was for the best she told herself as she threw her small
backpack into the trunk. She closed it and walked slowly to the
driver's side, hoping to catch one last glimpse of him.

Even though she'd always known they
had no future she couldn't stop herself from feeling disappointed.
He'd given her up so easily. Maybe it was a good thing that they
were over then, she told herself. If he gave up so easily then he
really didn't care about her and it was for the best that she found
out now.

At least that's why she tried to tell
herself over the next three hours as she drove. Every five minutes
she was either checking to make sure her phone still worked or
stopping herself from calling him. She just wanted to hear his
voice.

She knew it was over between them, but
that didn't mean anything to her heart. All she wanted to do was
pull the car over and curl up into a ball and cry, but she wouldn't
allow herself that release, not yet. When she arrived at the
cottage, then she'd allow herself to break down in privacy and use
the week to mend her heart.

After this week was over she really
didn't know what she was going to do. She'd told him they would
always be friends, but she really didn't think she'd be able to see
him day in and day out and survive after this. Worse, what would
she do when a woman woke her up screaming Jason's name after he
tossed her aside? Haley wouldn't be able to survive knowing Jason
had been with another woman.

During the next week when she wasn't
crying, or getting drunk into oblivion, she'd figure out what to do
about work and her house. If worse came to worse she could rent out
her house and find an apartment even if only temporary. Work would
be another issue. Right now she worked at one of the most
prestigious private schools in the country, but she knew if she
left she'd most likely end up working at a public school for a lot
less money.

Her stomach's rumbling thankfully
broke her out of her rather depressing thoughts. She took the next
exit off the highway. Ten minutes later she was back on the highway
and frowning down at her purchase, an extra large orange juice,
three coffee rolls, two muffins and three apple
pastries.

"Great, he's got me trained," she
muttered with an eye roll. Either she'd have to break herself out
of the habit of ordering for a small army or she'd become fat, she
thought with a sigh. She picked up one of the coffee rolls and took
a small bite before putting it down and taking a sip of juice. When
a particularly annoying song came on the radio she spent a minute
looking for a decent song. When she finally found one, she picked
up her coffee roll and frowned at the half eaten baked
item.

Apparently she'd eaten more than she
thought. Great, she was eating out of depression and would no doubt
be as big as a house by the time school started in a few weeks. She
took a bite out of her coffee roll and placed it back on the
passenger seat and picked up her now half empty juice.

"What the hell?" she murmured, taking
her eyes off the road to look down at the insane amount of food
she'd bought. Hadn't she bought two muffins and three apple
pastries? There was only one of each now. She was starting to
wonder if she was going crazy when a large tan hand suddenly
appeared, scaring the holy hell out of her.

She let out a surprised yelp, jerking
the wheel to the right and almost crashing into a tow truck. It
took her a few seconds before her brain started to function again
and when it did she narrowed her eyes on the hand that was blindly
searching for the orange juice.

Glaring, she reached down and pinched
the back of the hand. Hard.

"Ow!"

Haley stole a quick glance back at the
backseat and cursed. Somehow Jason had managed to fold his large
frame onto the floor of her midsize car and cover himself with the
large towel she kept back there.

"What the hell are you
doing?"

Jason sighed heavily as he tossed the
towel away and struggled to climb off the floor. Once he was
comfortably seated in the back seat he reached forward and snagged
her orange juice. "Having breakfast." He took a sip. "What does it
look like?"

"Why are you in my car?" she demanded
as she did her best to glare at him and keep the car driving in a
straight line.

"How else do you expect us to finish
our fight?" he asked, leaning forward to snag the last apple
pastry. He took a big bite before holding it to her lips for her to
do the same.

She shoved his hand away. "What the
hell do you mean to finish our fight? We were done, Jason. I'm
sorry, but it's over," she said, trying to remain calm.

"No, we didn't."

"Yes, we did."

"I don't think so," he said calmly,
finishing off the rest of the pastry as if he didn't have a care in
the world.

"For god sake, Jason, I dumped you!"
she snapped, feeling the last thread of patience snap.

She looked up in the rearview mirror
when he didn't say anything for a minute only to find him frowning.
Finally he shook his head. "No, I think I would have remembered
that."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Anyway," Jason continued as if he
hadn't just left her speechless with that little announcement,
"after our talk I realized that you planned a week away for us and
I really couldn't agree more. A week away is exactly what we need
to work through our problems."

"Oh my god," she mumbled, "you're
insane."

Another careless shrug.

"So, where are we going anyway?" Jason
asked, getting comfortable.

"
We
aren't going anywhere. I'm leaving
you at the next rest stop. You can hitchhike your way back
home."

"That's really not going to work for
me," Jason said, giving her a sexy smile when she glared at him
through the mirror.

Her grip tightened on the steering
wheel as she prayed for patience. "Jason, it's over. I'm sorry, but
you have to accept it."

"No, I don't," he said calmly,
irritating her even more.

"Jason," she said tightly.

"Haley," he mocked in the same tone,
making her lips twitch damn him!

She sighed heavily. "Jason, you really
hurt me last night. I don't think you-"

"I know I really fucked up, Haley, but
if you remember I did tell you when we started that I was most
likely going to mess this up," he said, cutting her off.

"Yeah, you did, Jason, and last night
you proved beyond a doubt that you aren't capable of being in a
relationship."

"No, last night I proved that I'm a
fucking idiot," Jason said matter-of-factly.

She wasn't going to argue with that
since she'd come to the same conclusion after hearing what
happened, but that didn't mean she'd changed her mind.

"Jason, we're over," she said more
softly.

He snorted. "No, we're
not."

"Yes, we are! Stop saying
that!"