Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (10 page)

“Hey Cap’n-my-Cap’n,” she said as she leaned
in the doorway.

He was wearing a white T-shirt that was a
little snug across his shoulders and a little loose around his
waist. He looked like he just rolled out of bed, the scruff on his
face and messy hair made him look like a Calvin Klein model. He
smelled distinctly of crisp ocean. He’d probably gone for an early
surf. It filled the whole office. No cologne that morning, it was
all Sean.

“Hi Geegee. It’s nice to see you,” he said
with a smile that lit up his whole face.

Krista beamed. It was amazing what a
ridiculously gorgeous guy smiling could do to a mood.

“I was depressed being here on a Saturday
alone. It’s nice to have company,” he continued.

“
Yeah, I had a couple
things to do before Monday.”

“I didn’t see you last night. Hot date?” Was
that tinged with worry? Or, more realistically, was her imagination
starting to get a little overbearing?

“No, I didn’t want to work late on a Friday.
It’s less depressing to come in at your leisure on a Saturday.”

“True. Any big plans for the weekend? What’s
left of it, anyway?”

“I’m supposed to go to the Folsom Street
Fair tomorrow with the girls.”

Surprise flitted across his face, and then
humor, “Right. And you’ve never been?”

“Nope. It’s only once a year, I think.”

“Yes. Did they tell you what to expect?”

“Just that’s it’s a street fair with a bunch
of gay guys.”

“Lots of gay guys. Lots and lots.”

“Well, the city has lots of gay guys, so it
won’t be that big of a deal. Probably really artsy and girly,
right?”

“Uh...sure.” The way he said it, Krista knew
he was making fun of her somehow. Poor Seattle girl in the world of
San Francisco. She rolled her eyes and he laughed.

“So…I heard about Mr. IT Manager, Jacob…”
Krista said, letting the end of her sentence trail into the
air.

Sean looked at her with a blank face. “Yes,
he resigned.”

“After someone went to the bigwigs with a
bunch of allegations, yeah. I wonder who was responsible for
that…”

The corner of Sean’s lips quirked, “I’m sure
that whatever was found was exactly what needed to be brought to
light.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m also sure that a great many of the
female staff are pleased to see the back of him.”

“Oh yeah! Even Jasmine. She’d gotten a
cyber-shadow there for a minute. And a bodily one. He kept popping
up on her randomly. Totally creeped her out. She said to say,
‘Thanks,’ by the way.”

“I don’t know why she’d say it to me.”

“This is a strange side of you.”

“What’s that?”

“Modesty.”

Sean erupted in laughter. Krista stared
awestruck, letting his eyes find hers again, and falling in. She
wanted to go to him. Just get up, walk the few feet around the
desk, and sit in his lap.

“Right, well,” she said quietly. “I’d better
finish up.”

He pulled his eyes away and cleared his
throat.

“You doing anything tonight?” he asked with
friendly indifference.

She took a deep breath, trying to bat down
her lady erection. “Nope. Well, work out probably, but nothing all
that interesting. You?”

“No. Did you want to work out together? I
have another couple hours to do, but I could meet you on the
beach?”

She couldn’t help the pleased smile. She
wasn’t holding her cards all that closely to her chest. “Cool. I
have a couple hours, too. Want to just come and get me when you’re
ready?”

“Deal,” he winked, then looked back to his
computer.

Krista was literally hovering back to her
desk. Once there, she tried with every ounce of her being to focus
on her work, and not his naked body, and it nearly worked.

Chapter Six

“
You have a great
voice.”

Sean watched in humor as Krista jumped and
spilled her coffee all over her desk.

“Don’t
do
that!” she said as she clutched
at her chest. “I think I had a mini-heart attack just
there.”

Smiling, Sean entered the room with an easy
stride, “Sorry. I was admiring your singing voice.”

Sean noticed that as Krista sponged up her
desk, she kept her head down so he couldn’t see her turning red.
“It is better than the British accent, yes.”

“I’ve heard. You were in the middle of
something—sorry to interrupt.”

Krista shook out the soggy page of Marcus’s
idea. “I was trying to interpret Marcus. Ben couldn’t do it. Looks
like I couldn’t, either.”

“Lemme see,” Sean sat in a chair as Krista
handed over the still-dripping page.

As Krista cleaned up the rest of her desk,
he analyzed the half-page of notes. The ideas were written in a
messy scrawl, barely contained within the lines. It looked like a
kid in grade-school was learning to write. He shook his head
slowly, “It seems like something to do with celebrities, but I
can’t work out what.”

“Celebrities?”
Krista asked, straightening up and reaching for
the page.

Sean handed it back, noticing that coffee
splashed across her white shirt, turning the material a
brown-opaque. He could just make out a purple, lacy bra holding up
her perky, round breasts. He got uncomfortable immediately,
shifting to try and ease tightness in his pants.

It wasn’t working.

“Can that wait?” Sean asked, standing up. He
needed to walk it out.

“Huh?” she stood up, still
analyzing the page. “Uh…” She glanced up, and then did a
double-take. Her eyes slid down his body and paused on his groin.
She sunk into an unconscious, slinky pose that had Sean taking a
step forward. He needed an interruption. He needed someone else on
this floor to barge in. He needed it
now.

“Yes,” she said in a throaty voice.

Sean took another step forward, unable to
stop himself.

“We should go,” she said softly.

Sean nodded, trying not to step forward
again, and failing. He was right in front of her now, inches away.
She angled her head up to him, her lips parted, her chest heaving.
He put a hand on the top of her neck, and with his thumb, pushed
her chin up a little higher. All he had to do now was bend down and
claim her.

“We should go,” she whispered, her eyes on
his lips.

She was right. This was not the way to do
it, not with her. She was too logical to allow her first move to be
inspired solely by passion. She’d balk, then run, making his
eventual success harder. But God, he needed it. He needed her so
bad it was physically painful.

Sean’s eyes were trained on her lips, they
were breathing the same air. Her small hand touched his chest,
lightly pushing. He didn’t yield, combusting with her heat.

Just as he was deciding to go for it, he
felt a second hand on his chest, pushing harder now; a forceful
block. His eyes roamed her face, only then noticing her lips were
closed in a bloodless line and her eyes were wide with fear.

It killed the mood instantly.

Sean backed off, relenting, allowing her to
push his body back a step. Then he felt like he got sprayed with
artic water.

Krista’s face was devoid of color, her hands
in front of her chest as though she expected violence and might
need to cover her face or protect her body. Her body hunched,
fear-stricken, as she backed against the wall, cowering from him.
In this state of fear, some people ran or tried to fight back. She
cringed, trying to make herself as small as possible; trying to
disappear so as not to receive his rage.

It didn’t take a genius to realize he’d
triggered something from her past. Like that day she flinched from
his supportive hand, she was reliving a past horror and applying it
to him. Inadvertently, he’d put up another road block, all because
he couldn’t keep control around her.

Sean took two hasty steps backwards, bumping
against the door frame. He tried to lean in a relaxed sort of way,
hoping to make light of the whole thing. Hoping to joke it away,
like at the winery. Or with the biting episode. He was out of his
league with this one; he didn’t know how to help.

“Sorry about that. Got carried away,” he
gave a grin he didn’t feel.

Krista stared at him with fear-drenched eyes
for another long beat. It seemed like she was wondering if he would
turn aggressive, which was just absurd. He’d never hit a woman, or
rough her up in any way. He’d spent his life protecting his sister,
for crying out loud.

But Krista didn’t know that. She wasn’t in
the same room as him. He didn’t know where she was, but he did know
that whatever happened to her in the past was some bad, bad shit.
Life-altering. His pride felt a little easier about all the
rejections. His logic got worried—there was more involved than just
working closer and finally getting that promise he’d been after
throughout their whole existence together. She was not a woman to
mess with; to dick around as was his default setting. She’d been
through too much without his efforts.

With that damning thought rolling around in
his head, Krista unrolled from her curled ball of fear and gingerly
stepped to her desk, where she made herself busy shutting off her
computer and putting everything away. She didn’t speak.

“Are you okay?” he asked, deciding joking
wasn’t the right way out of this.

She shrugged and nodded at the same time,
not meeting his eyes. “I’m stupid. Sorry about that.”

Sean straightened up slowly, confusion
seeping into his awareness by her response. He could see her effort
not to cry.

“Don’t be sorry. I was the
one coming on to you.
I’m
sorry about that. I saw boob and turned into a
man.” He smiled again, willing her to make light of this. To turn
back into the sassy woman he’d grown to admire.

She paused as she stowed her calculator and
glanced down at her chest. Sean was careful not to follow her gaze.
“Oh,” Krista shook her head. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I shouldn’t
have led you on.”

Sean’s gut tightened in extreme discomfort,
speechless.

“
Anyway, I’m ready,” Krista
grabbed a sweatshirt and quickly zipped it up to her
neck.

“Krista... I… Look, I crossed a line just
there. I’m sorry about that. You certainly didn’t lead me on.
Forgive me, but I’m not sure what’s happening right now.”

Krista blinked and looked up at him dazedly,
eyes haunted. She was lost and confused.

“Are you okay?” Sean asked again,
quietly.

Tears overwhelmed her eyes and she sagged
against the desk. She shook her head and breathed deeply. “Sorry
Sean. I truly am. This is what I was talking about at the barbecue.
I’m destroyed. My past… I just overreact sometimes. I scare easily.
It isn’t your fault. Just… let’s forget about it, if you don’t
mind.”

“Yeah, sure. Of course.”

“I’m just… a bit stupid at times. Sorry. I
have a lot of landmines.”

“No problem. We all do.”

Krista gave a self-depreciating laugh,
“Yeah, right. Let’s go. I can have a pity party later.”

This was a key moment. Sean should say
something to take her mind off of things. He didn’t know exactly
what was bogging her down, but he could be a hero and save her
right here.

He thought hard for an antidote as they
entered the elevator. Finally he came up with, “You know what was
the final button to get Jacob fired?”

“Uh…?” Krista looked up at him in
bewilderment.

“
He had a stack of emails
from five different girls in his desk. Of
their
emails. Personal emails. They
were in a binder. One of the emails was from you to me. About that
first presentation you did, remember? Five girls and one
guy—me.”

“I was one of the girls?”

Sean mentally
flinched.
Great job, Superman. Way to take
her mind off of weird guys and creepy things. Tell her Jacob was
stalking her.

“Um,” Sean stalled.

“He had a file on you?” Krista was half
smiling. “Was he in love with you?”

Sean let her exit the elevator in front of
him, “Seems like it.”

“Did I tell you that Jasmine snuck into the
computer room and put gum in his seat?”

Sean tripped, “What?
How
?”

Krista laughed as Sean opened her car door.
“She pretended she was a temp. She carried her monitor in. She put
three pieces of gum on his chair. Apparently it ruined his best
pair of pants.”

“Did he know who it was?”

“He suspected a great many people,
actually,” she smirked.

“Kate and Jasmine are a kick in the pants,”
Sean said, trying to keep the conversation going.

“Kick in the dome, more like. They are
pretty loyal. Jasmine did it because she heard he’d gone through my
emails. She didn’t have enough time to plan her own revenge.”

“Loyalty is good.”

“Yes, Dr. Freud, it is.”

They passed into silence for a second until
Sean couldn’t help himself. “Look, Krista, I am sorry about
earlier.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her
shrug, “Eh. It wasn’t really your fault.”

“What was it I did? Was it getting too
close?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“No problem. I completely understand. I just
don’t want to do again. I’ve kissed you before and you
reacted…differently.”

Krista laughed. “That’s a nice way of
putting it. It’s just…it’s nothing. I’m just…”

“It was something. I did something.”

Krista looked out the window.

“I didn’t push at you very hard,” she said
after a moment of contemplation. “Which was my mistake. At first I
didn’t really want you to move away, so I gave you a mixed message.
But you not yielding short-circuited my brain. I unraveled from
there. It wasn’t your fault.”