My Very UnFairy Tale Life (10 page)

Chapter 17

The next morning, I found my aunt sitting at the kitchen table and stirring a plate-sized cup of tea.

“Good morning,” I said softly.

“Hello, dear,” said Aunt Evie, peering down into her teacup. I knew she didn't want to look me in the eyes for fear that I'd start another fight. That was what animals did to avoid conflict.

“Where's Prince?” I asked.

“He left early, said he had some things to do. He didn't even want breakfast, but I gave him a few dog biscuits to take with him.”

“Oh good.” I sat down at the table. Apologies weren't really my thing, but this one needed to be done. “Aunt Evie, I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it.”

“It's all right,” she said, stirring her tea again. “I know things haven't been easy for you.”

“But that's not an excuse for me to take it out on you.”

Aunt Evie let out a long sigh and looked up at me. “Don't worry, dear. It's water under the fishbowl.” She smiled sadly. “You know, you are so much like your father. He was always so determined, just charging through life, never afraid of anything. But sometimes that made him feel a bit lonely.”

“Really?” It was rare for my aunt to talk about either of my parents. I think bringing them up made her even sadder than it made me.

“Oh yes,” said Aunt Evie. “And he was never very fond of my animals.”

I glanced down at the duck waddling through the kitchen. “It's not that I'm not fond of them,” I said. “I just don't really know what to do with them.”

“Animals are easy!” said Aunt Evie. “Ducks, for example, only want to be tickled.” She reached out and tickled under the duck's bill. It let out an angry quack, and Aunt Evie giggled. “See?”

“Are you sure they like that?” I said as the duck hurried out of the kitchen.

“Oh yes, almost as much as they like eating peanut butter.”

“I'll have to remember that.” I glanced at the clock. “I guess I should get going.”

“Okay, dear,” said Aunt Evie, giving me another smile. “Have fun with the other chicks.”

“Thanks, Aunt Evie.” I bent down and gave my aunt a kiss on the cheek for the first time in ages. “I'll try.”

•••

At lunch that day, I sat with Prince Lamb and his friends and attempted to laugh at their jokes. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find squirting ketchup up someone else's nose funny.

Finally, I gave up and started spinning my pink mini-golf ball on top of the table. Watching it go around and around reminded me of the way it felt to travel between worlds. Funny how I'd always hated that feeling, and now I kind of missed it.

I realized the boys at the table were glaring at me for making so much noise with the ball. “Sorry,” I said, slipping it back in my pocket.

I glanced across the cafeteria at Trish and Melissa. If I could manage to have an actual conversation with Aunt Evie, maybe I could patch things up with my ex-best friends too.

I got up and went over to where Trish and Melissa were hunched over a gossip magazine, pointing and giggling. “Hi, guys,” I said.

“What do you want?” said Trish, glaring up at me.

“I know I already apologized for lying to you, but I wanted a chance to explain what happened.” Neither of them said anything, so I kept talking. “It's just that I was embarrassed by how weird my family is, and I didn't want anyone to find out the truth. I felt really bad lying to you. I promise I will never do it again.”

Trish and Melissa exchanged looks. Then they huddled together and whispered for a minute.

“Okay, we'll forgive you on one condition,” said Melissa.

“You have to fix us up with Prince Lamb,” said Trish.

I stared at them. “Both of you?”

“That's right,” they said in unison.

They had to be kidding. My friends might have changed over the years, but they hadn't completely lost their minds. Had they? “But you can't both date him,” I finally said.

“Why not?” Trish demanded.

“What's wrong with us?” said Melissa.

“Nothing. It's just—”

“It's my hair, isn't it?” said Trish, running her hand over her perfect curls.

“What? No!”

“Then what?” said Melissa. She gasped. “Did you tell him about my mole?”

“What mole?” But I didn't hear the answer because just then a loud
Pop!
echoed throughout the cafeteria.

I whirled around, praying it had just been a giant balloon exploding. But the sight of two oversized frogs in capes confirmed my fears.

Everyone watched as the two frogs hopped across the cafeteria, their necks bulging and their mouths calling: “Mistress Jenny? Mistress Jenny? Are you here?”

“What are those?” a girl shrieked.

“Evil alien frogs!” someone else cried.

Without thinking, I whipped off my backpack, scooped up the two frogs, and dumped them inside. Then I practically ran for the door. “Have to go fix these windup toys,” I said loudly as all eyes in the cafeteria focused on me. “Aren't they so lifelike?”

I darted through the hallway and into an empty classroom. When I opened the bag, the two frogs leaped out.

“Are you two crazy?” I cried. “Do you want the Committee to turn everyone in my school into mindless zombies?”

“Mistress, we've been looking for you everywhere,” said Crong. “You and the prince are in grave danger!”

“What are you talking about?”

“We don't have a lot of time,” said Ribba. “He could be listening.”

“Who?”

“Klarr!” the frogs said in unison.

“What? He's
here
?” I spun around, expecting to see the sorcerer's laughing eyes staring back at me. No one was there. Still, I had the crazy urge to dive under one of the desks and stay there forever.

“We got word that he discovered Prince Lamb was sent to your world,” said Crong. “It will only be a matter of time before Klarr tries to kidnap him again.”

“I just saw Prince Lamb,” I said. “But we should go check on him.” Before I could move a muscle, a chorus of screams echoed in the hallway.

“A monster!” someone cried out. “There's a flying monster attacking the school!”

I almost laughed. Of course there was. Why wouldn't there be? I grabbed one of the frogs in each hand and darted toward the cafeteria. Most of the students were pressed up against the windows, staring at whatever was outside.

“Go find the prince,” I whispered to Ribba before putting her down on the floor. Then, still holding Crong, I pushed through the crowd and out onto the athletic field behind the school.

It was true that there was a monster, but it wasn't exactly attacking the school.

“Halga!” Crong said with a gasp.

I stopped in the middle of the field and watched as Halga circled high above us. Her wings reflected the sunlight like two giant mirrors. She looked terrifying from the ground as she wove in and out of the clouds. Then Halga's voice came down from the sky.

“Crong, we have to talk about this! It's not what you think!”

Crong jumped out of my hand and started to hop away in a huff.

Meanwhile, my classmates were running for their lives. Even some of the teachers were hiding under picnic tables. I didn't know how the Committee would deal with this, but I had to get Halga out of sight before the entire town saw her.

“Crong!” I said. “Get back here.”

The frog turned around and shook his head. “I am not speaking to that beast.”

“If you don't get her to come down, this entire place is going to get dosed with memory dust.”

“That is not my concern,” he said. “I am not the one making a scene.”

“Crong, it's just a misunderstanding! I would never do that to you,” called Halga.

“Do what?” I asked the frog. “Why are you mad at her?”

Crong crossed his tiny arms in front of his chest. “I saw her making eyes at one of the guards in the dungeon. I never thought she'd be drawn to a suit of armor, no matter how shiny it was!”

“Do you mean one of Klarr's guinea-pig guards?” I asked, choking down a laugh. “I don't think anyone could be crazy enough to be interested in one of them.”

“That's not what it looked like,” said Crong, turning away.

As Halga flew past again, I wanted to scream. After everything I'd done to try to make my life ordinary again, it was all falling apart in one day. But I couldn't just stand by and watch things spiral even more out of control.

“Crong,” I said. “Can you make something to magnify my voice, so Halga can hear me?”

“I can try.” He waved his green hands. Instantly, I felt my throat tingling.

“Hello?” My voice rang out across the entire field as if it were coming out of a speaker. Every pair of eyes focused on me. Even the kids still inside the school turned to stare at me through the windows. “Halga,” I called up to the sky. “You have to come down.”

“Not until I speak to Crong!” She swooped past, and I could see the stubborn look on her face. This was not going to be easy.

“You can't talk to him from up there,” I said. “Come down.”

“No,” said Halga. “I won't set foot on ground again until he knows the truth.”

“And what's that?”

“That I'm sorry he got the wrong idea, but nothing happened.”

This felt like one of my adventures all over again. Getting creatures to make up or admit how they felt. Apparently, I just couldn't get away from situations that needed me to get involved.

“Halga, do you love Crong?” I called.

The beast swooped down again, and a giant tear rolled off her cheek. It landed on top of a picnic table with a loud splat. The teachers hiding under the table darted out from under it like beetles and scuttled behind the bleachers.

“Of course I love him!” cried Halga.

“Well, love means never having to say you're sorry.” I clapped my hand over my mouth. That wasn't just a cheesy line that could have come out of a movie. It was actually
from
a movie, one of Aunt Evie's favorites. Apparently, I just couldn't stop myself.

Halga's face softened, and she let out something that sounded like a whimper. A moment later I saw a shadow at my feet. Crong was standing there, his eyes filled with tears.

“You are right, Mistress Jenny,” he said. “I have been acting like a fool.”

Then, with a wave of his hand, Crong lifted off the ground and flew into the sky to meet Halga among the clouds. A few gasps came from the crowd at the sight of the flying frog. Then there were some sounds of confusion when Crong threw his tiny arms around Halga's face and gave the corner of her lip a passionate kiss. Finally, the crowd groaned in disgust as Halga and Crong sank back to the ground, still locked in a slobbery smooch.

“Get a room!” one of the kids shouted.

As the happy couple landed, I marched over to them. “Okay, break it up,” I whispered, though my voice still carried across the field.

“Thank you, Jenny,” said Halga. “You really are a hero.” She reached out a front leg, and I saw my mother's purple bracelet dangling from one of her claws.

“What—?”

“Take it,” said Halga. “It's yours. Crong can give me all the jewelry I want, but this belongs to you.” She pushed the bracelet into my hand before I could object and turned back to Crong with a dreamy smile.

I stared down at the sparkling gems. I had thought I'd never see them again. Maybe having the bracelet back meant I'd finally have some luck. I gave it a squeeze and slipped it onto my wrist.

It was only then that I noticed the deafening silence.

Hundreds of eyes were staring at me. There was no way I could cover up everything that had happened. The Committee would hear about Halga's appearance and wipe everyone's memories, no matter what the side effects were. That didn't seem fair. The kids and teachers couldn't help what they'd seen. They had just been spectators.

That gave me an idea.

“Okay, everyone,” I called, my voice still amplified for all to hear. “That's a wrap! Shooting of the film ends next month, and you should expect to see it in theaters early next year.”

There was an uncertain silence. Then the crowd erupted in whispers. “They're making a movie?” I heard a few people say as some of the panic on their faces started to fade.

“You've all been a terrific audience,” I continued. “Give yourselves a round of applause!” I started to clap loudly. The students and teachers glanced around at each other, still hesitant. “Come on. Don't be shy!”

Crong and Halga started clapping along with me, and soon most of the crowd had joined in. I could even see a few people smiling.

“Okay, now everyone clear out!” I said. “The crew has to strike the set!”

The clapping died down, and the crowd started to break up.

“I knew it wasn't real,” I heard someone say. I sighed with relief before motioning for Crong to cut out the bullhorn effect. The frog waved his hands, and I felt the same tingling as before.

“Thank you, Jenny,” said Crong. “You always know how to save the day!”

“Forget that,” I said. “We have to find Prince Lamb before Klarr does.”

Crong's face grew serious. “You're right.” He turned to Halga. “Go back to our kingdom, dearest. I'll be there as soon as I can.” He gave her a smooch, then another, and another.

I was just about to break up the lovefest, when I heard someone calling my name.

“Jenny, is that you?”

I turned to see Trish and Melissa slowly walking toward me.

“It
is
you!” cried Melissa. She ran up and threw her arms around my neck. A second later, Trish did the same.

“We thought we'd never see you again!” said Trish, finally letting go. Her voice sounded lower, as if the squeaky toy in her throat was gone.