My Forever (Canary Series) (2 page)

Olivia
was starting the second term of her senior year at Oakwood and she swore that it would be different from the first. At the end of the last school year her boyfriend, Ian, was killed. That summer things just started going downhill. She was home from school and that right there did not help one bit. Both of her parents didn't understand why she was so depressed and then Michael had turned to the dark side. She had confided in him for comfort but it didn't work out that way.

The atmosphere at school was completely off when the
new year started after Ian's death. Nobody really knew how to act. A summer away helped, but being back where it all happened brought back every emotion that seemed to have just been locked away. The thing that bothered her the most was how everyone was treating her. It was almost as if she was glass that was going to shatter at any moment. She wasn't the type of person to show her emotions, so instead of breaking down and losing it she threw herself into her work. The more people tried to talk to her the more she isolated herself and worked. Her friends were starting to worry about her.

She had given up playing football and stopped writing music all together. What surprised everyone was the fact that even though she was always working she was failing three classes. Even her teachers were starting to get worried about her. They all urged her to talk to them and even offered extra credit and tutoring. But in the end she turned them all down. Everyone was at a complete los
s. They all wanted to help her but she wouldn't even open up and let them in so they would know what they could do in order to help. Garrett was the one who was extremely worried about her. He had seen her go through a lot but this was all new territory for him. Every time he would voice his concern she would just say that he wouldn't understand. He told her to help him understand but she just shook her head and would go back to work.

Christmas break was approaching and she decided to stay at school.
The majority of her school mates went home. This gave her a better chance of working things out and getting herself pulled back together. Christmas Eve came and Olivia slipped into a deeper depression. It had marked the one year anniversary since Ian told her he loved her. It was at the ball that Oakwood threw every year. Except this year the ball was also a celebration of schools coming together to compete in a tournament that caused Ian to lose his life and for Olivia to lose herself. She spent the majority of the break working to try to get her grades up.

***

Olivia was sitting at a table in the library trying to concentrate on her homework, but she couldn't help but think about how this past year had been one of the worse years ever. She was still in denial over the death of Ian. All of a sudden she slammed her pen down and started to cry. She thought to herself, ‘I don't want to be here at school.’ Olivia didn't know what was wrong with her, she hadn't cried since that night and all of a sudden she couldn't stop. She figured maybe all this crying was what was needed to help her move on. Then she realized that what she really needed was a clear state of mind. That's when she decided that she needed to talk to Marcus, the one guy who knew what truly happened when Ian died, so she could get some closure.

Olivia
finally looked out at the moon and sighed. She looked down and started working on her Chemical Reactions homework again and tried to concentrate really hard on it. After thirty minutes she looked up from her homework and saw Nate studying as well. She thought maybe he would be able to help her since they were in the same class. So she got up the courage to get up and walk over to his table. "May I have a seat?" she asked with her hands on the back of a chair.

"Sure, go ahead,"
Nate said, looking at her surprised.

She sat there in silence for a few moments before she started talking to
Nate. She asked him how he was doing and just wanted to catch up. After talking for an hour she finally asked him if he could help her with her studies. He said he would help her but he didn't understand why she needed help. She was always the top of their year, but none the less he decided to help her. Olivia had forgotten how much better it was to work with someone on assignments than to work alone. She used to work with Ian all the time. When she didn't understand things he would explain them until she did understand. Working with Nate brought back those memories, and she realized she needed to study with others more often.

***

When they were done her thoughts went back to Marcus and Ian. "Thanks for the help Nate. I really needed it," she said as she packed up her books and notebooks. She left the library understanding everything a little bit better than she had all year long, but she was still distracted. It was late at night when she got to the Mapleleaf living area and to her surprise there were two of her friends sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. "Hey guys, what are you doing up so late?"

Olivia
's friends looked up at her with concern written all over their faces. "Olivia we’re worried about you," Christine said.

"Really worried, you have changed so much since last school year,"
Garrett said.

"I'm fine guys, really
. So don't worry about me, OK?"

"If you were fine you wouldn't be tossing and turn
ing all night in your bed. You’re hardly eating and sleeping," said Christine.

"Yeah, and you work all the time on homework. You haven't been working on your music
. Shoot, you even quit the team. Those are the two things you love the most," Garrett said.

"Correction, loved. Those were two things I loved the most. Look
Christine, Garrett, I'm fine. Really, don't worry about me, OK? Just don't worry; I'm tired of everyone treating me like this. This is why I never wanted to come back."

Olivia
stormed upstairs to her room and slammed her bag onto her bed when she noticed something had fallen out of it. She just watched it hit the red rug that covered up the wood floor between the beds. She moved to get a closer look at what it was and noticed that it was the picture of her and Ian at the MusicFest two summers before. Olivia picked it up and started to cry all over again.

Christine
came in and went over to her, "Olivia, I know you’re sad and you love him still and always will. But you need to let go. You need to get back out there and just be yourself again. I, we, miss that happy go lucky girl."

"Yeah, well
, that girl was lost when Ian died."

"But she can come back again."

Olivia started to cry harder and just ran out of the house wanting to leave everything behind. She didn't know where she was going or what she was doing, all she knew was that she was running and crying.

She found herself at the bathroom by the library and put her hands on each side of the sink to try to calm
herself down. She thought about what her friends told her earlier. Olivia looked at her reflection in the mirror and started to talk to herself to try to wrap her mind around everything.

"Maybe I do need to get back out
there and just be myself. I have a lot of friends whom I love very much and who love me as well. Apparently I’m that girl I said I wouldn't be." She got some cold water and splashed her face. She went into a stall and wiped her eyes. After she felt better she went for a walk around the grounds figuring some fresh air would do her some good.

***

Two weeks later Olivia went into the library and saw Nate sitting at his regular table. She decided to go over and talk to him. She had received a letter in the mail but hadn't opened it yet. She kept on playing with the envelope not knowing what to do. Her parents never sent her mail, especially her father. Nate noticed that she was fidgeting with something and wondered what it was.

"
Olivia, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you?"

He laughed, "I'm doing good. Just wondering what you are fidgeting with under the table."

Olivia
looked down at her hands and then brought them up onto the table with the letter, which was crumbled up, and held it tightly in her first. "It's a letter from my dad. I got it this morning and just don't have the will to open it."

He reached across the table and took her hands, letter and all, into his and squeezed them. "What do you want to do? I'm here with you so you can read it, I can read it and tell you what it says, or we can burn it and forget it even exists. It's completely up to you
Olivia; I'm just a means of moral support."

When she looked up at him he saw this look upon her face that he hadn't seen in a while, but then in a fl
ash it was gone. It was almost as if he imagined it.

"I think if I burn it he will know, so would you mind opening it and reading it? I don't think I could handle it, but if you read it and its bad news at least it will be you that’
s breaking it to me."

He nodded and waited for her to hand him the letter. After a few moments she gave it up
, leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Nate truly hoped that it was good news. Olivia had been through enough pain this past year to last her a lifetime in his eyes. He took a few deep breaths before he opened the letter. He was really careful because she had been messing with it so much that it looked fragile. It took a couple of minutes to read the letter. He just couldn't believe what was written and wanted to take Olivia in his arms and never let her go.

When he decided that he had read it enough times he put it in his bag so he could burn it later. Now he just needed to figure out how to tell her the news.
Nate wished there was an easy way to break it to her but knew something like this was never easy. It was then that he vowed to protect her as much as he could. He stood up and walked around to where she was and got down on both knees so he could be at her level. He took a deep breath and took hold of her hands as if that would soften the blow.

"
Olivia, look at me please. I need to see your eyes when I tell you about the letter. I also want you to see my eyes to know that I mean it when I say that I vow to protect you as much as I can for as long as I can and that I'm here for you no matter what."

She opened her eyes and looked down at him and could tell he meant what he said
. "It’s not good news, is it?" she asked with fear laced in her voice.

He shook his head, "No
Canary, it isn't. Your mother passed away, I'm so sorry. What can I do? I will go with you to the funeral, collect your work from class, just tell me what I can do and I will do it."

Olivia
just sat there in shock not knowing how to react or what to say. She just stared at Nate completely out of it. So many questions were rushing through her brain it made her really dizzy and sick to her stomach.

"
Olivia, please talk to me. Are you OK? What's going on through that precious mind of yours?" He was extremely worried about her. She seemed to be in shock and he wasn't sure what to do. Before she hit the breaking point he took her into his arms and brought her down onto the floor with him. After a few moments she just lost it and held onto him for dear life as she cried.

He had never been the person to hold someone when they cried, or even want to be able to take the pain away. But for some reason
Olivia was different. Nate didn't want to let her go. He wanted to take her pain away and protect her from all that could hurt her. It was all about her and what she wanted or needed.

After
ten minutes she finally calmed down and started to breath regularly again. They looked at each other as if there was some unspoken understanding about what happened. Nate leaned in and kissed her temple letting her know everything was going to be OK. She closed her eyes and nodded, confirming that she got the message. They stayed there for a few more moments until she got up. When she did Nate's arms felt empty and he felt lonely. These were feelings he had never felt before, but now that he knew how it felt to have her in his arms he couldn't help but wonder when the next time would be.

Olivia
walked to a bookcase to get some random book to read to try and get her mind off of things. When she got to the table she opened it and a piece of paper fell out. She picked it up and looked at it. To her surprise it was the list that was made when she and Ian hung out alone for the first time at school her first year there. They wrote a list of things they would like to do before they left Oakwood. On her list she wrote to be with Ian not even thinking about it and on his list it said to be with Olivia. She felt a tear fall thinking that if she had known sooner maybe they would have had more time together.

Nate
saw that she was about to cry and rushed to her side and wrapped an arm around her. He looked at the piece of paper she was holding and tried to read it but failed. "What’s that?" he asked, hoping he could get her to talk and open up. He thought maybe that would help her be able to sort things out and put them in perspective.

She just shrugged and crumbled the piece of paper before throwing it into the fire that was going in the fireplace by their table. She t
hen continued to look through the book in silence. All he could do was just sit by her hoping she would feel like talking soon. Memories of her after Ian’s death kept popping up in his head. She had shut herself off from everyone and just became so isolated. He knew it wasn't healthy to do that, but then he realized that it seemed to come so natural to her. All he could do was hope that she wouldn't go back to that now that he was there.