Must Be Crazy: (Melissa and Jackson) (A Jetty Beach Romance Book 2) (22 page)

It’s late, and I’m in no state to get behind the wheel, so I text my driver. I know Melissa won’t see me tonight, but I’m not going to stay a hundred fifty miles away from her. I’ll go to Jetty Beach, get a hotel, and figure out what to do.

This is something I can’t fix—but I don’t want to. I have no idea how this happened to me. Tammi and Dennis are right: I’m in love with her. It feels good to admit it, even just to myself. I’ll tell her, as soon as she lets me see her. I’ll tell her I love her, and I want to be there for her, and our baby. I’ll find a way to show her that I’m serious. That I can change. That I’m in this for the long haul, no matter what happens.

I throw a few things in a bag and text Dennis to tell him I’m leaving. I’ll sneak out the back way, so I don’t get caught up among the people downstairs. They can stay as long as they want. They can all fucking pass out and go home in the morning for all I care. None of them matter.

The only thing that matters is my woman, and the baby inside her.

I sit in a booth at the Old Town Cafe, picking at a blueberry muffin. Nicole’s across from me, typing on her laptop, a half-finished cup of coffee on the table next to her. I take a sip of my own coffee. I guess I’m not supposed to drink caffeine while I’m pregnant, and I’ve cut back to one or two a day. But there’s no fucking way I’m giving up coffee entirely.
Sorry, kid
.

Nicole agreed to meet me for lunch, although she warned me she had work to do. I don’t mind. Mostly I don’t want to be alone. I visited my dad this morning and told him about the baby. I cried so hard, I barely got the words out. He wrapped me in his strong arms, his flannel shirt itching my skin, and held me.

To my amazement, he wasn’t angry or disappointed. He wanted to know what he could do—how he could help. He assured me I’ll be all right, and even though the circumstances aren’t ideal, he’s thrilled to be expecting a grandbaby. That only made me cry harder.

I touch the skin beneath my eyes, wondering if I’m still all red and blotchy. Nicole hasn’t mentioned it, but maybe she’s just being polite. She just hugged me tight and offered to buy my lunch. I’m not very hungry, and she cast a weird glance my direction when all I ordered was coffee and a muffin. I guess she thinks I’m supposed to be eating my weight in food already. At this point, I still don’t feel much of anything. Maybe I’m a little more tired than usual, but other than that, I can’t even tell I’m pregnant.

I definitely did not take five more pregnancy tests to be sure. Nope.

“So,” she says, closing her laptop. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” I say. “I guess that’s weird? But I feel pretty normal.”

She shrugs. “I supposed it’s different for everyone. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this. Although that’s stupid of me to say. I can only imagine how it must be for you.”

“Yeah, it’s very surreal,” I say. “I look at myself in the mirror and I can’t see it, you know? I look the same, and I feel the same.”

“You don’t look the same, though,” she says.

“I don’t?” I touch the skin under my eyes again. “I look like shit, don’t I?”

“No,” she says. “You look really good, actually. Your skin looks amazing. I think pregnancy suits you.”

“Shut it, Jacobsen.”

Nicole giggles. “I’m not a Jacobsen yet. Come to think of it, you’ll have the baby by the wedding, won’t you? Wow.”

I blow out a breath. I’ve been thinking about those things. By
this
date, I’ll be really pregnant. By
this
date, I’ll have a three month old. “It’s so weird. None of it feels real.”

“So, you never told me what Jackson said when you told him,” she says, lowering her voice. “You told him, right?”

“Yeah, I told him.”

“And?”

I take another sip of my coffee. “I don’t know. He was shocked. He dropped the phone and I thought he hung up on me. He said a bunch of stuff about wanting to be there and shit.”

“He did? Melissa, that’s great.”

I draw my eyebrows together. “Is it? Why is that great?”

“Are you serious?” she asks.

“Yes. He’s Jackson Bennett. He’s a player, not a father.”

“Why aren’t you giving him any credit?” she asks.

“Credit for what? Knocking me up? He can have all the credit for that.”

“Did he say he doesn’t want anything to do with you?” she asks.

“No.”

“Did he say he’d pay you a bunch of money if you’d go away?”

“No.”

“Did he say he wanted to help?”

“Well, yeah, he kind of did.”

“And what did you say?”

I stare at the table, not answering.

“Mel, what did you tell him?” Nicole says.

“I told him he didn’t need to do anything, and I only called him so he’d know what was going on. And then I hung up.”

“Really? And you don’t think you’re being the slightest bit unfair to the guy?”

“Why are you on his side all of a sudden?” I ask, prickling with anger.

“Do there have to be sides?” she asks. “I’m just telling you what I see. I’m sure he’s as shocked as you are. Why don’t you at least give him a chance to do the right thing?”

“What does that even mean?” I ask. “Do the right thing. Should I expect him to give up his lifestyle for this? If I do that, I know what will happen. He’ll get bored. He’ll suffocate under the responsibility. And he’ll leave.”

“Why are you so sure of that?” Nicole asks.

“Why are you so sure he won’t?”

“I’m not,” she says. “Maybe you’re right about him. You know him better than I do. But you aren’t being honest with yourself about him either.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You fell for him, hard. And somehow I don’t see you falling for a guy who would abandon you like that. Yeah, he’s been a player or whatever, but he wasn’t with you. You guys said a week, but neither of you wanted it to end there. And it was you who pushed him away, not the other way around. He’s been trying to be in your life since you guys got back. That doesn’t seem like a man who sees you as nothing but a meaningless fling.”

Damn it. I hate it when she’s right. “How am I supposed to deal with his life? I had to abandon my house and hole up in a hotel room with a fucking security guard. What the hell is that?”

“Yeah, that was nuts,” she says. “I don’t know, Mel. I don’t know how you make that work, or even if you can. But you’re having his baby, and nothing’s going to change that now. You should give him a fair chance to be that baby’s father.”

I don’t answer, picking at my muffin in silence. Nicole opens her laptop again and starts typing.

We sit quietly for a while. Maybe Nicole has a point. Jackson’s reaction could have been a hell of a lot worse. How could he not be surprised? It isn’t like I squealed with joy when I found out. Did I expect him to be happy? He immediately said he wanted to help—that he wasn’t going to walk away.

The truth is, I’m afraid to let him in. He’s a man with two assistants, who has an entire floor of his building just for throwing parties, who’s invited to posh banquets with celebrities, and has to think about photographers and private security. I’m just his mysterious sassy girl, a bit of fun he could brag about on social media.

Aren’t I?

I’m not giving him enough credit, but I’m not sure I can face him either.

I glance up to find Nicole looking past me, her eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t look, he’s here,” she says, the words tumbling out quickly.

My back clenches. Oh fuck. “Jackson?” I ask, whispering.

Her eyes are locked on something, or someone, behind me. She nods and mouths
He’s coming
.

Jackson stands next to our table, close enough that I could touch him. My traitor body reacts immediately, the first whiff of his fresh cologne sending a tingle up my spine. He looks perfect, as usual, in an aqua button-down shirt with the sleeves cuffed, and gray slacks.

“Hi Nicole,” he says. “Melissa, can I talk to you?”

He nods toward another booth. Nicole mouths an emphatic
Go
at me.

I follow him to the back of the restaurant and slide into the booth. He sits across from me. His gaze is so intense, and there’s something in his face I’ve never seen before. I’m used to him staring at me, but not like this.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“How are you?”

I sigh at the urgency in his voice. “I’m fine. I mean, I’m
pregnant
, but other than that, I’m fine.” I emphasize the word on purpose. I want to see if he reacts.

His lips turn upward in the slightest of smiles.

“Yeah, but how are you feeling?”

“I feel okay,” I say. “I don’t really feel different at all. Not yet.”

“Okay, good,” he says, his shoulders relaxing.

“When did you get into town?” I ask.

“A few days ago,” he says. “It’s been so hard not to see you, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be ready to talk to me yet.”

“And you picked today?”

“I was out and I saw your truck,” he says. “Listen, I’ve been doing a bunch of research. I found a doctor in Seattle, she’s one of the best in the country—”

“What?” I ask, cutting him off.

“A doctor, I—”

“Why are you looking for a doctor. For me?”

“Of course,” he says. “You’ll need a good doctor. I want you to have the best. The hospital down here is rated okay, but there’s a birthing center in Seattle that I thought you might want to tour. It seems all peaceful and stuff, but if you want a regular hospital, there’s one really close to my condo. You probably have insurance, but you don’t need to use it. I’ll cover everything. I already opened up a trust that will cover college, and I adjusted for projected inflation. That way if anything happens to me or my businesses, that will be taken care of. Your truck won’t really work with a car seat, so I was thinking I’d buy you a—”

I put up a hand, cutting him off again. “Jackson, stop.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to buy me a car.”

“Yes, I do,” he says.

“No, you don’t,” I say.

“Melissa, I want to do the right thing.”

I slump in my seat. “Thank you, Jackson. I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it. You’re not buying me a car, but the rest is fine, I guess. I can find my own doctor, so don’t worry about that. You can pay for whatever. It’s fine.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asks. “Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” I say. “I want you to live your life and be happy. I don’t want to be a burden on you, and there’s no way that this isn’t, so I guess I’m stuck with that.”

“It’s not a burden,” he says.

“Of course it is,” I say.

“I’m not running away from this,” he says. “I’ll step up.”

Tears sting my eyes, and my stomach rolls over. “I’m already a mistake you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life. I’m not going to make it worse.”

I can’t look at him anymore. His eyes are so intense. I don’t want his money, but if it makes him feel better to buy things, I’ll let him do it. I just can’t sit here with him, fighting back tears, feeling like I’m being torn apart from the inside. I can’t be the one to ruin his life.

“Melissa, you’re not—”

I get up and run out the door.

That went monumentally worse than I feared.

I lean back against the booth and press my hands over my eyes. Fuck. How did I screw that up so badly? What did I do wrong? I’m here. I’m ready to take care of everything. What more does she want from me?

I look up to see Nicole standing next to the booth.

“Hey,” she says. “Can I sit?”

“Sure,” I say. I lean forward and put my elbows on the table.

Nicole sits, putting her purse and a laptop case on the bench seat beside her. “This is really none of my business,” she says. “But like hell if I’m going to sit there and do nothing.”

“Shouldn’t you be going after her or something?” I ask. “You guys can go somewhere and talk about what a shithead I am.”

“No, she needs to be alone,” Nicole says. “I’ve known her long enough to know that.”

“I don’t know what just happened,” I say.

“She’s scared,” Nicole says. “There isn’t a lot that scares Mel, so she’s kind of in uncharted territory. Maybe she’s not handling it so well.”