Motown Throwdown (20 page)

“Even if there was no order, you can’t beat her ass, Rome,” she says easily. “You wouldn’t have anyway, you’re not the kind of man that hits women. Bottom line, she stole a lot from you and essentially she took from me too. I don’t like being taken from. Who knows where we’d be right now if she hadn’t done this to you? She was jealous, fine, but what she did was wrong. Sometimes wrong hurts.”

“Sometimes it lands you in the emergency room,” I point out while smiling at her.

“She’ll be back to being a menace in no time, but she will think twice before coming near you again.”

“Excuse me, doctor?” a woman says coming to the table.

“Tasha,” says Kandace standing up to hug her. “How are you, honey?”

“Better,” she says quietly returning the hug. “Thanks to you.”

“Rome, this is Tasha, a friend of mine.”

“Hey,” I offer sensing she didn’t want the attention, I knew how that felt.

“Hey,” she whispers back.

“Are you working here?” she asks Tasha.

“Yes, I’m back in school too. I just wanted to wait until you finished eating to say thank you.”

And Kandace being Kandace didn’t make her work for it. “You’re welcome,” she says simply. Then as if asking for permission, opens her arms again and Tasha fell into them. Letting the women have a moment, I tried looking everywhere but at them but couldn’t help it. Kandace was a nurturing person, a healer. Whatever she did for this woman, was big. Throughout dinner, I caught men looking at her but instead of feeling threatened I took their interest as a compliment. My woman was gorgeous, she was taken and she was no longer a secret. Kandace was my greatest accomplishment. Taking a seat she wipes her eyes and leans into me again. “Tasha’s husband almost beat her to death,” she explains softly. “When she came in she was barely breathing.”

“Fuck. Then what happened?”

“This hadn’t been the first time so doing as I said I would, I called the police and had him arrested. It took three hours to stop the internal bleeding and stabilize her. I went to the trial to testify to make sure he won’t be getting out, ever.”

“You got a thing about courtrooms,” I whisper in her ear. “I’m proud of you, Kandace.”

“She’s one of the lucky ones, Rome. Most don’t get out alive. Tasha was very brave. She had to testify against him and it wasn’t pretty. She needed someone in there that was on her side, that’s all.”

That’s when we started discussing some of the shit she’s seen and the woman has seen some nasty shit. It wasn’t a topic I wanted her to stay on for long. Paying the bill and heading out to valet, I did ask her about the acceptance into Doctors without Borders and her answer blew my mind. “Some goals don’t have an expiration date,” she says kissing me. “I’m happy where I am right now, it’s an open offer and I’ve got time to make a decision. I’ve waited a long time for you, Rome. I’m not looking to be apart from you.”

“Ten fucking years,” I groan not caring we were in a car. “I missed this, you, for ten God damn years, Kandace.”

“You were worth the wait, baby.”

“You’re awfully quiet today,” I say nudging him. “Is everything okay?”

“Saw you dancing on Saturday,” he says staring at his notes.

“Not surprising I didn’t see you,” I respond. Although, it wouldn’t matter if I did see him. Even if I had, it’s not like he’d speak to me with other people around.

“I was with people, just saying I saw you.” He snaps at me.

“Okay?” I prompt completely confused about where this was going.

“Shaking your ass like that invites trouble,” he says with a tone I don’t much care for.

Leaning in and giving it back for once I whisper, “I know.”

Slamming his book shut and snagging his pack he pushes away from the table never once looking back at me. I wanted to say giving him shit felt good, but it didn’t. Hurting Roman wasn’t me. He may sting me with his zingers out of fear, or whatever his issues were, but I knew better. Grabbing my own stuff, I catch up to him outside, but of course, trying to get on Roman’s level always blew up in my face.

“Hey,” I say nudging him. His loyal fan club was close, so for me seconds counted. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” I tell him honestly. “Next time you see me say hello.” With his crew closing in I started to turn away out of self-preservation but he wouldn’t let me off easy.

“It’s hard not to see you,” he says commenting on my height. Believe me it wasn’t what he said it was how he said it. “Some shit can’t be unseen.”

“There’s the Roman I know and love,” I say dryly. “This ass,” I say lightly slapping it for effect, “looks great from every angle. Be sure to watch it when I walk away.”

Once we were back at my place, he was quiet.

Rome was a thinker and most of the time he didn’t share what he was thinking and I suspected he was pondering things I’d never understand. But as we sat on the couch, we didn’t bother with the television or any music. Instead, we held onto each other and I waited for him to make the next move. I felt that he had things he wanted to say but never in a million years did I think it would be this.

“I have some shit I need to say to you.” Gone was pensive Rome and in its place was the man filled with anger. Righteous anger, so much so I could taste it.

“Okay,” I tell him crossing my legs. This was a defense mechanism for me, just in case he threw me for a loop I was in a position to take it.

“I’m pissed off,” he says. “I have too much---“

“I’m here,” I tell him interrupting which I knew better than to do. He was so worked up that it was killing me to see him like this. “It’s okay to tell me what you’re feeling, whatever it is.”

“That’s my point,” he grates. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling. How am I supposed to tell you what the fuck I’m feeling?”

“You said you’re pissed off, what’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of why you’re pissed off?”

“Failure.”

“I can understand that,”

Jack-knifing off the couch, he throws his hands up and yells loud, “Bullshit. What in the fuck have you ever failed at?”

His anger wasn’t what caught me off guard it was the menacing vibe coming off of him that was. Staying silent because I wasn’t certain if I should voice it, he growls down at me, “Exactly.”

Looking up at him, I tell him the absolute truth. “I failed once,” I whisper ringing my hands when anxiety started to take me over.

“Oh yeah what? A test?”

“You,” I say staring down at my swollen hands and the reminder of my failure. “I didn’t save you. I failed
you
, Rome.”

Then the menacing vibe was gone and Rome had me standing up and in his arms where he held me tight. “Fuck, Kandace,” he says very choked up. “That’s on me, not you. I should have listened. All of this is my fault.”

“No,” I tell him firmly. “It’s her fault. She did this and you suffered for it. You’ve been given a second chance.
We’ve
been given a second chance.”

“I can’t lose you,” he says on a sob. “On the inside, behind those bars I cried for you. For what I said and did to you out of fear. I can’t take those years back. I want those fucking years back, Kandace.”

“Sit down,” I tell him when the memory hit me. “I’ll be right back.”

Running upstairs, I reached into the top shelf of my closet and pulled down the shoe box I had filled with memories of him. Bringing it with me, I hand it to him and take a seat next to him.

“What is it?” he asks moving it around unsure what to do with it.

“Here,” I say reaching for it. I had the letters arranged chronologically by date. Pulling out the first letter I ever wrote, I began reading it to him.

Hello Roman,

It’s Kandace, your tutor and sometimes nemesis.

For one year I had you to myself but the push pull of instant fame and college expectation always kept you out of my reach. The nature of our relationship was strained, at best, but even at your worst, I saw the man underneath. An innocent man who would never take a woman against her will. Despite what the jury thought or what the judge thought and even what your peers thought, I know the truth. Maybe you’ll think of me from time to time, maybe you won’t, but I wanted you to know that I hold no grudge against you.

Quite the opposite actually, I hold you in the highest regard and I will now and forever be your biggest fan.

Kandace AKA Teach

“Come here,” he says low. “Now Kandace.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say my name,” I tell him setting the letter down and crawling over. “I’ll never get tired of saying it,” he says unbuttoning my blouse. “You never left me, did you?” he asks removing my bra.

“No,” I tell him allowing it. “I didn’t.”

Taking me to my back he holds his weight up on one strong elbow while he undresses me with the other. Needing all of his weight, I pull him on top of me and a gently pull the end of his braids. Kissing the hell out of each other, he breaks the kiss to tell me “Need you naked.”

“Rome,” I say trying to get his attention off my tits and back to my face. “Rome,” I say again this time more urgently.

“What, Doc?” he groans.

“I love you.”

I’ve never told a man that I loved him before so I didn’t know protocol. But this was Rome and he does things his own way in his own time. His eyes though, they turned an even deeper shade of blue and he didn’t blink. At this point, I’m positive he also wasn’t breathing. Wrapping his arms under me he rests his head on my chest but says nothing. All I could do was run my hands over his head and wait.

And wait.

And wait…

This girl was everything to me.

She didn’t see the way they looked at her with envy because that shit didn’t matter to her. Guy, girl, didn’t matter. But she was so God damn humble, she was clueless. Kandace knew she was smart, that she was going to be somebody, so all of this college drama bullshit meant nothing to her. That’s what she wanted me to see, she wanted me to see beyond the bullshit to what’s important. Now that ball is not my life and prison is, I realize I had it all wrong.

She was important.

Always was.

There are times in a man’s life where words will fail him. My grandpa told me that. He also said a woman’s love was the strongest force on the planet. He said that when you know a woman’s love there wasn’t shit that could touch you. No sword that could cut you, no flame that could burn you.

My grandpa said that a woman’s love was the Lord’s way of keeping a broken man whole. He would know. My grandpa from what I’d been told was as broken as they came until he met my grandma. When I played ball, I played for them. The only two people that sacrificed everything to see me succeed, until Kandace.

With my head on her chest, the tears fell from my eyes and each one felt like it had a sin attached to it. Men cry, at least I do. It’s the only way I knew to purge the hate from my system. In prison I cried every night. At first, I cried for losing my career. Then it was for the embarrassment I brought to my grandma’s doorstep. Knowing her sacrifice was for nothing gutted me. Then in quiet moments when guys would have their females visit, I cried knowing I continuously hurt the one female who gave a damn. Yeah, I did a lot of crying in prison. I had shit else to do.

But right now, with her running her fingers over my braids I was crying over all of it. No, I didn’t rape Michelle. I don’t even remember fucking her nasty ass. But that doesn’t change the fact that I spent my adult years behind bars because of it. I was denied touch, happiness and a future. That kind of life has a way of knocking the arrogance out of you. No one in that hole gave a fuck that I played ball, that I should have been somebody. I was a piece of shit just like they were. They were all innocent just like I was.

Most of them were still there, yet I was with a beautiful woman. Starting fresh was possible for me and I had to play it right.