Mindset (8 page)

Cade had to laugh.  “No I did not!  You were such a skinny little pain in my ass!  Always asking me what I was doing, what I was going to do next, did I need some help, what was my favorite color, TV show, movie star, singer, and on and on.  You never ran out of questions.”  He shook his head and smiled at her.

“I was just trying to make friends.  Sort of.  Actually, I thought you were really hot, and I was practicing my feminine wiles on you.  Guess I wasn’t too good at it, since you never even gave me the time of day.  You were my first real crush, you know, even though you seemed to be mad all the time.”

Cade grew more serious.  “I guess I was mad all the time back then.  And scared, although I never would have admitted it to anyone.  I just never really fit in anywhere.  My mother died when I was just a kid.  I never even knew who my father was.  It could’ve been any one of the multitudes who spent time with my mother through the years, or none of them.  Who knows?  She never talked about him.  Hell, she wasn’t sober most of the time she was awake anyway.  She spent almost as much time passed out on the couch in front of the TV as she did in the back bedroom entertaining her friends.”

“How awful for you, Cade.  I’m sorry.”

He shrugged it off.  “It’s all I ever knew, so I didn’t know my home life was different or that other kids didn’t go hungry, because buying booze and drugs always took precedence over buying food.  I thought everyone lived like I did until I started school, and the other kids started to notice and talk about me.  Before too long, everyone knew us for what we were.  Poor, white trash.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.”

“Do I?  Who else but white trash gets pulled out of class to be told their mother has been shot to death in her trailer home by her latest boyfriend slash drug dealer?  When they first told me, I figured she’d OD’d on something.  But come to find out, she got shot when she tried to rip off his drugs and money.  Who else but white trash is taken home to pack some things and only leaves with a handful of filthy, hand me down clothes and a pair of shoes with holes in them and no shoelaces?  No toiletries, no personal possessions. Just a whole lot of attitude.”

“I went into the foster care system after that, since I had no known relatives.  In some ways, I guess I was better off.  At least I had 3 square meals a day and clean clothes to wear.  It’s a wonder I didn’t get into some kind of trouble with the law, but I didn’t.  I just wanted to be left alone, so I was quiet and tried to be as invisible as I could.  Didn’t do too well in school, but I did better than I had been when I lived with my mother.  I at least went to school every day.  I was behind at first, but I caught up after awhile.  It’s amazing how much easier it is to do your homework when you’re not shoved outside until the
company
leaves.  There were lots of times I fell asleep on the back steps waiting for the door to be unlocked.  I did the bare minimum that I had to in order to pass my classes.  Failing grades brought visits from the social workers, and as often as not, they’d relocate me.”

“What a nightmare, Cade.  I knew you’d had a rough time, but I had no idea it was that bad.  No child should have to live like that.”

“Yeah, well, maybe now you can understand why you and I together just isn’t a good fit.”

“No, Cade.  I can’t say that I do.  Why would being a victim of neglect and abuse make you any less desirable?  If anything, I think more of you now than I already did for not only surviving your childhood, but for refusing to accept what fate had given you.”

They rode on in silence for awhile until Callie took closer notice of their surroundings and said, “Hey, isn’t this close to my canyon?  It is!  Let’s go eat lunch there!  What do you say, Cade?”

He looked over at her, and their gazes locked.  “Okay.  I guess we have to stop somewhere, and there’s more shade there.  Might as well try to cool off the horses and let them drink from the spring.” 

They made their way to the box canyon where he’d comforted her over ten years ago when she’d lost her parents.  The closer they got, the more puzzled Callie became.  Her little nook had gone through some very big changes since the last time she’d been there.  “What in the world?”  Callie got down from her horse and Cade followed.

A good bit of the scrub brush had been cleared away to make room for a  gravel pathway that lead to a long cedar bench to sit on.  Across from the bench, in a niche towards the top of the spring with running water, was a small statue of the Virgin Mary surrounded by wild yellow and orange poppies.  All around the new seating area desert friendly flowers including salvia, chocolate daisies, and sunflowers had been planted, getting moisture from the ground surrounding the spring.  Everything was done in such a way that it blended into the natural habitat of the land.  The once wild, overgrown watering hole had been transformed into a hidden, peaceful getaway that only she and one other person knew how to find.

“Oh. My. God.”  She slowly turned around to look at the incredible man who stood so silent and still behind her, watching her every expression, obviously unsure of the response he would get from her.  “When?  How?  It must have taken you forever to do this.  For me.”  Callie walked over to the bench, and he followed.

“After you left last time, I knew your feelings were hurt, and I didn’t know what to do to fix things between us and make things up to you.  I didn’t want you to hate me.  We can’t be
together
together, but I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”

Tears welled in her eyes, as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth and just looked at him, shaking her head.  “Oh shit.  I’m sorry.  I’ll take everything back and put it like it was, Callie.  I didn’t mean to upset you, I thought you might like it this way.  I thought it might be nice to have a place to sit down and have some quiet time.  Don’t worry, I’ll fix it like it was before, I swear.”

Callie closed the distance between them and threw her arms around him as tears coursed down her cheeks.  Cade, always at a loss when it came to her tears, didn’t know what to do, so he just held on to her.

“Thank you, Cade.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  It’s absolutely perfect, and I love it.  How did you know?  How did you know exactly what I’d like?  I’ve often thought of trying to do something like this, but I knew I couldn’t do it by myself, and I didn’t really want to tell anyone else about this place.  It’s kind of special to me, and I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone else.  Anyone else but you, that is.”

“You mean you like it?  Man, when you started crying, I thought I’d really screwed up.  Again.”

“No, Cade.  You did not screw up.  This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”  She leaned back to look at him and put her palm along his jaw line.  They locked onto each other’s eyes, and Cade slid his thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away her tears.  Neither was sure who leaned into the kiss first.  What started as a tender moment of thanks and understanding between two people who genuinely cared for each other quickly grew into something hotter, becoming  desperate between two people who had been denied the passionate outlet they’d both craved for what seemed like forever.

They both lowered themselves to the bench on legs that were suddenly unsturdy.  As their kisses became more and more heated, Callie rose to her knees and straddled Cade’s lap.  Cade grabbed her hips and pushed his erection against the center.

Their hands roamed over each other quickly, desperately, frustrated with the clothes that separated them from each other’s touch.  Buttons were undone quickly to allow the skin to skin contact they both had to have.  Callie threw her head back in absolute surrender, and Cade took advantage of the opportunity to kiss his way down her throat, biting into the juncture between her neck and shoulder and pushing her shirt down lower.  He unhooked the front clasp of her bra and buried his face between her breasts, turning first to one, and then the other to cover them with loud, wet kisses until he latched on to her already hard nipples, sucking, harder and harder until she released a combination of a gasp and moan from the pleasure he was giving her.

Cade lifted her off his lap and laid her back on the bench.  She reached for his shirt, pulling it free from his pants.  He tore it off, over his head, and reached for the button on her jeans, pulling it open and dragging down the zipper, running his fingertips across the newly exposed flesh.  He leaned down and reclaimed her mouth and began plundering its depths with his tongue, acting out what he was desperate for as he reached lower, inside her pants, under the black silk bikini panties, so he could find out if she was as wet as he was hard. 

Callie moaned into his kiss and arched her back.  She lifted her hips against his hand, as he spread her apart and entered her with two fingers.  He spread her moisture all around the most sensitive part of her, and she moaned his name aloud and reached for his belt buckle. 

“My God, Callie.  I don’t think I can stop.  I want you so much, and you’re so wet for me, sweetheart.  You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you like this, how many times I’ve dreamed of having you.  God, Callie.”

“Cade, I know I can’t stop, and I don’t want to.”  She could feel the internal battle he was fighting with himself, scared to death that he would find the strength to pull back, so taking matters into her own hands, she reached down and finished undoing his jeans and slid her hand inside to grip the long length of him, all the while kicking her boots off and shimmying out of her own jeans.

She pumped him once, twice, and he tore his jeans down past his hips.  She spread her thighs for him, one leg on each side of the bench.  He growled as he leaned down, covering her body with his own.  She took him into her hand to guide him to her center, rubbing the tip of his erection back and forth against her entrance, prolonging the ecstasy they both knew awaited them.  He looked down at her, directly into her eyes.  Holding his gaze, she helped him slide into her wet heat until she closed her eyes to savor the almost unbearable pleasure. 

He reached up and traced every curve and angle of her face, then bent down to kiss her reverently.  She wrapped her legs around him, and he began to move.  He pulled almost all the way out, paused, then slid back in, hard and fast.  Over and over.  Callie moaned as he continued to make her melt.  Her breathing became more and more labored, until she heard Cade call out to her, “Come for me, Callie.”

That’s all it took to send her over the edge into the most shattering release she’d ever experienced, calling out his name over and over.  He started moving faster then and breathing more heavily.  “Again, Callie.  You’re going to come for me again.”  She could already feel the pressure building inside her and knew she wouldn’t disappoint him.

“Oh my God, Cade. I’m getting close.  Come with me.”  As her second climax began to shudder through her, Cade increased his pace even more until his moans joined hers, and they couldn’t tell where his orgasm began and hers  ended.  Cade buried his face into her neck, and she wrapped her arms around him as he held her tightly.

They were both quiet for what seemed like a long time.  “Are you alright, Callie?”

“Never better.  That was incredible.  How about you?”

He was quiet long enough that she started to feel uneasy.  “Looks like we’re getting married.  It’s the only honorable thing to do.”

Callie stiffened.  “Excuse me?”

“I said we’re getting married.  The sooner, the better.  Shit, I didn’t even wear a condom.  What if you’re pregnant?”

“Let. Me. Up.”  Callie pushed him away and started getting dressed in quick, jerky movements.

Cade watched her quietly, not sure what was going on now but knowing it couldn’t be good.  “I’ll speak to John tonight, try to find some way to tell him how sorry I am and that I’ll make it right.”

Callie started tucking her shirt in and fastening her jeans and said, “Oh, I don’t think so, Cade.  There’s not going to be a marriage, no matter how
guilty
you feel or how much you
regret
what just happened between us.”