Midnight Under the Mistletoe (16 page)

“She’s an efficient secretary.”

“With drop-dead looks. Well, merry Christmas,” Will said,
impulsively hugging his brother. Startled Zach hugged Will in return.

“I think Caroline and Ava are changing you,” Zach said,
stepping back. “It’s a good change, Will. None of us wanted to turn out to be
like Dad.”

“Sure as hell not. He was as cold as ice until Caroline came
along. She’ll never know how she has affected this family.”

“All for the better and you’re good for her.”

“I’m trying. Ava’s the one.”

“It’s you, too. Don’t sell yourself short,” he said following
Will to the limo door. The driver held it. “Merry Christmas, Will. Thanks for my
presents.”

Zach stepped back and watched as the driver closed the door and
went around to get behind the wheel. He continued watching the limo go down the
drive, but his thoughts were on Emma. Tomorrow he was scheduled to leave for a
night in New York and then to Italy. Right now, he didn’t feel inclined to leave
Texas. This was home more than Italy. He was comfortable here. He had to admit,
he was a lot closer here to Emma than he would be in Italy. If he just had to
see her, he could in only a few hours’ time. From Italy, it would be a real
trek.

Jamming his hands into his pockets, he went back to the empty
house. How could it seem so big and empty with Emma gone? What was she doing at
this moment? Did she miss being with him?

Inside, he closed the front doors and heard the locks click in
place. He stood in the entryway and debated whether to call her. It was
pointless, so he went to the office, pausing beneath the mistletoe. He reached
up to take down the decoration, turning it in his hands, remembering her kisses.
Sex with Emma had been the best ever. Of all women, Emma was the only one who
had created sparks the first moment they looked at each other. She definitely
was the only one to include him in her family gatherings, the only one to make
him rethink his past, the only one he had ever really missed.

With a sigh he tossed the mistletoe on a table. He didn’t
expect her to be back at the ranch ever.

He didn’t want to go to New York tomorrow. He picked up his
cell to tell his pilot they weren’t going until later in the week. He didn’t
have to be anywhere at any specific time so there was no rush to leave
Texas.

Tuesday afternoon he didn’t feel any more inclined to leave for
New York and Italy than he had on Monday. Even without Emma, he would rather be
at the ranch than in an empty house in Italy. He didn’t want to ruin his pilot’s
Christmas, just because he didn’t care about his own, so he told his pilot he
would stay in Texas until after the holiday. If he decided to go, he could catch
a commercial flight. Or just go to New York and spend Christmas there.

Feeling glum, he reached for his phone to call Emma just to
talk. How many times he had done that the past few days, and then decided he
wouldn’t call her?

He was restless and nothing interested him. Emma occupied his
thoughts most of his waking hours.

Startling him, he received a call on his cell phone. Shaking
his head, he was tempted to not answer when he saw it was from Will. Afraid it
would be an emergency, he said hello.

“Zach, it’s Will. Where are you? Italy or Texas?”

Zach swore and gritted his teeth. Will usually didn’t call
until Christmas day. “I’m still in Texas, but will go to Italy soon.”

“I just thought you might still be in Texas. What’s wrong?”
Will asked.

“There’s nothing wrong. Staying here is just easier.”

“Right,” Will said. “Could it be that you miss Emma? I imagine
she invited you to spend Christmas with her family. You could, you know,” Will
said without giving Zach time to answer his question.

“I am not spending Christmas with Emma and sixty other
Hillmans.”

“So then pack and go to Italy. You’ll forget her and get over
her.”

“Thanks. I plan to go to Italy. I’m just not in a rush,” he
said, thinking he wasn’t going to get over Emma anytime soon.

“Well, I know it’s a safe bet you haven’t fallen in love, so
I’ll stop worrying about you. You can still fly up here if you want. Caroline
will take your mind off Emma. Caroline is having a blissful time. Christmas is
magical for her and she’s turning it into magic for us.”

“That’s great, Will,” Zach said with sincerity.

“Even Muffy is enjoying the snow. We have to clear paths for
her or she’ll sink out of sight. Give some thought to joining us.”

“Thanks. Bye, Will,” Zach said and ended the call without
giving Will a chance to prolong it.

Zach returned to staring at smoldering logs in his fireplace
while Emma filled his thoughts. Did she miss him or was she immersed in family
Christmas activities? He held up his phone, tempted to call her, finally giving
in to the temptation.

At first he thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then he
heard her voice and his heart skipped beats.

“Zach, you’re calling from Italy?”

“I haven’t gone yet. I’m going to New York first,” he said.
“Ready for Christmas?”

“Hardly, but I will be soon. Something’s always going on around
here. People coming over or someone wanting me to do something or Mom needs
help. I’m busier than ever. Have you heard from Will or Ryan?”

“Will today. They’re having a great time,” he said, longing to
be with her. The phone call only made him miss her more and he felt ridiculous
for calling. “I’ll have to admit, the place seems empty with you gone.”

There was a long silence. “I miss being there.”

“No, you don’t, really,” he said, smiling, certain she didn’t,
but he hoped she missed him.

“I do miss you,” she said solemnly in a quiet voice that made
his heart lurch. He inhaled deeply, wanting her with him, in his arms now.

“Will you go out with me for New Year’s Eve? I’ll come home if
you will.”

There was another long pause and he held his breath. “Yes,” she
said. “The sensible part of me says no and I’m sure you feel the same.”

“We’ll have a good time,” he said lightly, his heart racing
with eagerness that he would see her again and go out with her. He settled back
to talk, asking about her family, enjoying listening to her, glad for this
tenuous connection that was still a link with her.

They talked for over an hour before Emma broke in. “Zach, my
family is calling me. I promised I’d go shopping and they’re waiting for me to
join them.”

“Sure. See you New Year’s,” he said.

The connection ended and he felt more alone than he had in
years. He wanted Emma with him. How could she have taken such a place in his
life that he couldn’t get along without her now?

New Year’s Eve seemed an eternity away. He stretched and walked
around restlessly. He couldn’t concentrate on work. He didn’t want to go to
Italy. He didn’t want to join Will because all he would do was think about
Emma.

He left to head for his gym while he stayed lost in thought
about her.

* * *

Emma hurried out to join her sisters and mother to spend
the afternoon shopping, but the entire time, she couldn’t keep Zach out of mind.
She was going out with him for New Year’s Eve. Surprise had been her first
reaction. She was astounded he wanted to pursue a relationship. She had debated
only a moment with herself. Now that she was carrying his baby, everything had
changed. Whether she or Zach liked it or not, she would be tied to him for
years. Unless he totally rejected his child and she didn’t think he would. Not
when he seemed to care so much for his niece. She still couldn’t accept having a
casual relationship with him, but she would just have to see how he reacted and
what he wanted.

The aching gloom that had enveloped her when she parted with
him had lifted, leaving only worry over his reaction to her news. Excitement,
joy over the prospect of an evening with him was tinged with concern over when
and how to break the news to him about their baby. If he rejected this child, he
would break her heart. Even though he had rejected her lifestyle and hadn’t
wanted her in his life permanently, this baby was more important now and life
had changed.

By five in the afternoon, she was exhausted from shopping and
wanted to go home and take a nap. She suspected her mother might be wearing down
also, so she told Mary Kate she thought they should call it a day.

It was almost six before they actually unloaded the car and
were settled back at home. Emma headed to her room, leaving her packages to get
later. All she wanted to do was stretch out and get a quick snooze.

She hadn’t been in bed five minutes when there was a knock on
her door and Mary Kate appeared.

“Can I talk to you a minute?” she asked, stepping into the
bedroom and closing the door. She shook her dark brown hair away from her face
as she crossed the room. Her tan sweater emphasized gold flecks in her hazel
eyes.

“Sure, come in. Does Mom need help with dinner?”

“No, she’s lying down, too, and Sierra has gone home with her
brood. So has Lynne to relieve Connor of watching their kids. They all promised
to come back after a while.” Mary Kate sat on the edge of the bed.

“You’ve got all the energy,” Emma remarked.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired. We did a lot of shopping and I guess the work I’ve been
doing and the Christmas stuff has caught up with me. I’m sleepy.”

“Sure. You were sick this morning when I came.”

Emma sat up slightly. “Whatever it was, it passed.”

“You know I’m here for you,” Mary Kate said, her hazel eyes
filled with concern and Emma took a deep breath.

“How did you know?” Emma asked, certain her sister had guessed
she was pregnant.

Nine

M
ary Kate shrugged. “I’ve been there,” she
said, tugging up the sleeves of her tan sweater.

Emma sat up. “You haven’t been there as a single mom. Not in
this family. MK,” she said, reverting to the nickname, “I don’t know what I’m
going to do.” she said. Tears threatened and she tried to get a grip on her
emotions.

Mary Kate hugged her and Emma clung tightly to the sister who
had stood by her through so many childhood scrapes.

As she released her sister, Emma wiped her eyes. “This was
unplanned, unexpected and shouldn’t have ever happened. I’m carrying Zach’s
baby.”

“Zach Delaney. Boy, you picked one. That’s what I was afraid
of. Does he know?”

“No, not yet.”

“Do you have any idea how he will react?”

“Not really. He seems crazy about his niece, but he’s taken no
responsibility for her. When her father was killed, Zach’s older brother became
guardian. Zach is solitary, a total loner and happy in that life. He rarely
comes home. He works abroad, all over the world and loves what he does. He
doesn’t need the money. He travels to dangerous places and he likes it.”

“I thought I heard you say he’s in demolition.”

“Yes. His company has other businesses, but that’s the one he
loves and takes an active part in. A big active part. That’s how he hurt his
foot. Somehow, I can’t see him taking this well at all. He doesn’t have serious
relationships. I wonder if he goes out much because of his lifestyle. He keeps
to himself and spends holidays alone, including Christmas.”

“Christmas—alone? Through his own choice?”

“Yes.”

Her sister’s frown reflected her own feelings about Zach’s view
of holidays. “Wow. Well, even if he has nothing to do with you or the baby, you
have a family who will be right with you.”

“If Connor doesn’t try to punch Zach.”

Mary Kate laughed. “He won’t. Connor grumbles, but he’s too
much like Dad to resort to fists unless someone else starts something. Do you
think Zach will give you any financial support?”

“I’m guessing he will, but I don’t know. If he doesn’t offer,
I’m not pursuing it. I’ll manage and he paid me extravagantly for the job I just
did, plus I have a good job with his company and money saved. I’ll manage.”

“I’m sure you will,” Mary Kate said, shifting to a more
comfortable seat on the side of the bed. “What about your education and a
teaching job? That’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“I think that will have to be postponed,” Emma said. “I’ll use
this money for the baby. Later on, I hope I can pick up where I left off, go
back to college, get my degree and then teach.”

“I hope Zach Delaney does what’s right and gives you financial
support. Marriage sounds like an unlikely event.”

“It’s impossible. He’s totally solitary. MK, how will I tell
Mom and Dad? It’s Dad I’m worried about. I think this will break his heart. And
I know—I should have thought of that before now.”

“You’re not getting a lecture from me. Dad’s able to take news
and he’ll help you and so will Mom. I know it’s hard to think about telling
them, but don’t worry about it. Just do it and get it over with.”

“I’m waiting until after Christmas and you wait, too.”

Mary Kate ran her fingers over her lips. “Absolutely. This is
your deal to tell the family, not mine. I’m just here for you. And don’t expect
it to be long before Mom catches on. She’s been through this five times.”

“I know.”

I better go see what the kiddos are doing. Bobby’s watching
them and he’s as much a kid as they are. Holler if you want to talk again.”

“Thanks, MK.”

“Sure.”

Emma settled back against pillows and watched her sister leave
the room. She could count on MK. Actually, she could count on her whole family.
It was just Zach who was an unknown factor.

She thought about New Year’s Eve. That would be the time to
break the news. As soon as Christmas had passed, she would tell the family.

She missed Zach. How long would she continue to miss him?
Months, years, forever?

* * *

Christmas Eve morning, Zach sat at his desk trying to
think about work and finding it impossible. Emma dominated his thoughts every
waking hour. He hadn’t gone to Italy and he still didn’t want to go. He wouldn’t
do any more in Italy than he would on the ranch, so he just stayed. He felt
closer to Emma here and the house reminded him of moments she had been there.
How many times during the week had he pulled out his phone and started to call
her?

He tossed his pen and rubbed the back of his neck. He wanted to
see her and he was tired of trying to think about work and failing
completely.

The phone rang and he saw the caller ID indicated Will, which
was no surprise. Zach was tempted to avoid answering and the questions that
would follow. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone to talk.

“Yes, Will, I’m here at the ranch. I decided to stay in Texas.”
He tried to put some cheer in his voice and realized he was failing.

“Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Is Rosie there?”

“No. You know I gave her and Nigel three weeks off. I’m okay.
Merry Christmas. Let me talk to Caroline.”

He talked briefly to his niece and she suddenly said goodbye
and Will returned. “We’re getting snow. How’s the weather there?”

“I know you didn’t call to get a weather report.”

“No, I didn’t. Just some small talk while I walked into another
room and closed the door for privacy. Zach, if you’re in love with Emma, do
something about it. You might have to live life a little more on the ordinary
side like the rest of us do.”

Zach had to laugh. “And a merry Christmas to you, too, Dr.
Phil. Stop giving me advice.”

“Okay, but this is so unlike you. Do you want to fly up here
today and spend tomorrow with us? I promise we’re fun.”

“I’m sure you’re fun galore, but I’m happy here,” he said,
giving some thought to Will’s invitation. For the first time, he was slightly
tempted, but he still preferred Texas where he was closer to Emma. “When have I
not been happy alone?”

“Maybe since you met Emma Hillman. Well, you’re a grown man and
I won’t give you advice, just an invitation. And a merry Christmas.”

“Thanks, Will. Thanks for calling and for your invitation. I
really mean it. Merry Christmas to you all.”

As he hung up, Zach had to smile over his brother’s ridiculous
call. He paced restlessly and then stopped to look down at the largest box of
memorabilia. He pulled up a chair and picked up a letter to read.

“All right, Emma. I’ll try again to find something fascinating
in my ancestors’ lives.”

He read two letters and tossed both in the discard box. He
picked up another and saw it was his written by his great-great-grandfather
during the second year of the Civil War.

“My dearest Tabitha:

“My love, we covered twenty miles today in
the rain. It is dark and cold now and I write by firelight. I am glad we did
not encounter any of our enemy because our ammunition and our supplies run
low. I am fortunate to have both my rifle and my revolver, plus ammunition.
Others are not so fortunate. This ghastly war between the States is tearing
our country apart. My dearest, how I miss you! If I could just hold you
against my heart. You and our son.

“This fighting is lonely and desperate.
How I long to be with you this night and see your smile, that would be a
Christmas treasure to me. Know that I send my love to you on this Christmas
night. You and our little one are the most important part of my life and
what I am fighting for. I dream of peace for our babe and his descendants
and their offspring. How I wish I could see our son, this precious babe. My
heart aches with wanting to be with you and my child on this night. Nothing
else on this earth matters, but I fight to keep life secure for the two of
you.”

For the first time Zach felt a thread of kinship with this
ancestor from generations earlier
.
Feeling foolish
for his emotional reaction to the old letter, Zach continued to read. “
I close my eyes and imagine you holding out your arms and
smiling at me. Someday, my love, we will be together again. Know that I send
my love to you and our son on this Christmas night.”
He could be
saying those words to Emma. Leaning back in his chair, Zach watched flames dance
in the fireplace. He missed Emma. He could imagine the ache in his relative’s
life on a cold Christmas night away from his young wife and a baby.

He picked up the letter to continue reading:

“Know you are my life and you and our
offspring have my love always. I want this land to be safe for our son and
his sons. My family I hold dearest of everything on this earth. I dream of
when I can come home and we are together once again. My love, how I long to
hold you close to my heart. All my love to you from your adoring husband,
Warner Irwin Delaney.”

Zach had a tightening in his chest and he placed the letter in
the discard box with the others without thinking about what he was doing. As he
finished reading, all his thoughts focused on Emma and the letter. She would
have been touched by it.

Was he missing out on life as she had said? Was he missing the
most treasured part—a woman’s love and a family’s love?

He had never really thought marriage could be happy and filled
with love until he had been with Emma’s family, because he had never seen a
loving family in his own home or his oldest brother’s or even in any of his
friends. Garrett’s parents seemed the closest and Garrett had been happy growing
up, but the Cantrells had not exhibited the warmth and closeness the Hillmans
had.

Will had not been married long enough for his marriage to
count. Will was in euphoria and still steeped in his honeymoon. The Hillman
seniors had been married for years and they were obviously in love. Zach had
never thought of marrying or having a child—yet he loved Caroline and he barely
saw her. How much more would he love one of his own that he saw often? Surely he
would love his offspring deeply, and, if he ever had any, he intended to give
them all the time and attention he possibly could.

Emma was a steadying influence, her calm faith in love, her
cheer, her optimism—maybe he desperately needed that in his life. He needed her.
It was still Christmas Eve morning. He reached for his phone and made
arrangements to get the plane ready to fly to Dallas. He had to see Emma.

* * *

Christmas Eve at four in the afternoon Emma rushed back
to her apartment. It was already getting dark outside with an overcast gray sky
and a light snow predicted. Carrying an armload of packages, she hurried into
her apartment building to be stopped by the doorman.

“Miss Hillman, you have a delivery.”

Surprised, she waited while he disappeared into the office and
returned with a red crystal vase that held several dozen red roses and stems of
holly.

“That’s for me?” she said, glancing at the packages filling her
arms. “I’ll come back to get it.”

“I’ll bring it up. I didn’t want to leave it in the hall.”

“Thank you.” At her apartment she unlocked the door and stepped
back to let him carry the bouquet inside and set it down.

“Merry Christmas, Miss Hillman. You have beautiful
flowers.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Wilburton,” she said,
tipping him for carrying up her flowers.f

She dropped her packages and closed the door, hearing the lock
click in place. The flowers had to be from Zach. She pulled out a card, looking
at a familiar scrawling handwriting that she had seen so many times in the past
few weeks.

“Merry Christmas, Emma. Zach.” A pang rocked her. How she
wished he were here! She missed him more each day and tried to avoid thinking
about it if she could. With a glance at her watch, she realized she should get
ready soon to join her family.

Hurrying to hang up her coat, she turned on her Christmas
lights.

Lights sparkled on her tall green Douglas fir that held sparse
ornaments, which she added to each Christmas. She had greenery and candles on
her mantel, a wreath on her door and a dining room centerpiece of holly around
the base of a large poinsettia that had been given to her by friends from her
office.

This year she had added something new. She looked at the sprig
of mistletoe she had hung above the doorway into the dining area. The mistletoe
made her think of Zach and their mistletoe kisses. She wondered how he was
enjoying his Italian villa. For all she knew, he might not be alone there.

Usually Christmas Eve filled her with anticipation and
excitement, but this year she missed Zach and she could not keep from worrying
about her baby and breaking the news to her family. In spite of her sister’s
reassurances, telling the family was going to be difficult, making her worry how
they would take it. An even bigger concern was how Zach would accept the
news.

She picked up all her packages to carry them to her bedroom and
open them. She had been buying baby things because she was excited and wanted to
get ready even if it was early. A bassinet stood by the window and she had a new
rocking chair that had been delivered two days earlier. She began to open
packages and finally had the new baby clothes laid out across her bed where she
could look at them. They would all go into the wash, but she wanted to look at
them first: the tiny onesies, tiny socks, little jumpers and bibs, rattles and a
baby brush, plus small blankets.

She ran her fingers over the blankets. Even if Zach wanted to
marry, which she knew he would not, she couldn’t accept his lifestyle. He still
wouldn’t put family first. Travel and work would always take first place with
him and fulfill the need for excitement in his life. It would never be family
that would hold his interest. Sadness tinged her excitement over the baby.
Sadness and worry about her baby’s acceptance.