Loving the Chase (Heart of the Storm #1) (26 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

M
addi had never seen Zach look so beaten. Not even the day she’d walked away from him. Then, he’d been distraught, too, but something about this day—fear over Simon, fear over her, fear over Harlan, his fight with Eli and being injured—it was taking a toll on him.

The haunted look on his face as he climbed through the rubble killed her. She could imagine that same look on his face when he looked for her. She could only imagine it because she couldn’t remember it. Her clearest memory of that moment was him cradling her down in the bowels of the rubble under the bookshelves and crying.

“Harlan!” she and Zach both yelled.

“Dad!” yelled Jonah.

“We’ll find him, Jonah,” Zach said, his voice giving way a little. “We’ll find him.”

Zach yanked pieces of splintered lumber and wall aside as he dug madly through to where Harlan might be. He was moving slower and slower, as he continued to bleed through his shirt.

“Shit, this isn’t happening,” Jonah said finally, sinking to his knees.

“No! Don’t give up!” Zach said, as he started favoring his right arm. “Never give up. You’d be surprised what people can live through.”

“Zach, stop,” Maddi said. “You’re hurting yourself more.”

He moved like a robot, or like a man possessed, not listening. “Harlan!” he yelled louder.

“What the hell are y’all doing?” came a voice from behind them.

Everyone stopped.

Because Harlan was walking up.

“Dad?” Jonah asked, almost to the point of truly asking, like he thought it was a mirage.

“Son, what are you doing?” Harlan asked, looking at the group of them like they were aliens.

“You son of a bitch,” Jonah said, burying his face in his hands as he stood waist deep in pieces of house. “Looking for you!”

“Why would I be in there?” Harlan said. “There was a tornado, boy. I know better.”

“I’m gonna beat the crap out of you,” Zach said, breathing hard, his whole body wilting on sight. “If I ever get out of this pile of shit, I’m really going to.”

“You’re bleeding,” Harlan said.

“I’ve heard,” Zach said, holding up a finger.

“Shit,” Maddi uttered as she lowered onto the porch—one of the few things still intact.

“Where did you go?” Jonah demanded, trying to pick his way out. “You didn’t go to Zach’s house.”

“No,” Harlan said. “He’s not the only one smart enough to have a storm room.”

Zach narrowed his eyes. “Where?”

“In my garage,” Harlan said. “It’s the only building big enough for me to put anything new in it.”

“You bought a storm room?” Zach asked.

“Nah,” he said. “I just bought some metal doors and welded ’em together. It worked.”

“You suck, old man,” Jonah said, climbing past the worst of it and grabbing Zach’s arm to pull him out, too.

“Love you too, smart-ass,” Harlan said. “The love is—”

He was cut off by Jonah grabbing him for an embrace that looked long overdue. Maddi’s already frayed nerve endings sent tears to her eyes. Again. Because that’s all she’d done for the past night and day. But she’d never seen Jonah so emotional. About anything. And she’d never seen Zach so raw.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” Jonah said through his teeth. “Answer your damn phone.”

“I second that,” Zach said, sinking onto the porch with a grimace.

“My house is toast,” Harlan said when they let go, both of them running a finger or two around the eye area discreetly.

“Mine’s okay,” Jonah said. “You can stay with me.”

“Holy hell,” Harlan mumbled.

“Mine’s got some damage, but it’ll be all right,” Zach said. “My mom’s has an oak tree where the living room used to be.”

“Louella all right?” Harlan said, his face going ashen.

“She’s fine,” Zach said. “She went to my storm room. Called you like all the rest of us did.”

“Okay, you bunch of bellyachers, let it go,” Harlan said, giving them each a look. “I’ll call next time so you wimps don’t worry.”

Jonah shook Zach’s hand as he followed his dad to look through the wreckage.

“Thanks, man,” he said.

“Don’t mention it,” Zach said.

“No, really—”

“Seriously,
don’t
mention it,” Zach said. “I’m gonna catch enough hell over there,” he said, gesturing with a nod of his head. “Let’s not put a spotlight on it.”

Jonah chuckled. “Touché.”

Maddi waited until Jonah was out of earshot, and then she got up and crouched in front of Zach.

“You need to get to a doctor,” she said. “Let’s see if Jonah will drive us.”

Zach shook his head. “I have a perfectly good vehicle back there.”

“And quite the walk,” Maddi said.

Zach put a hand over hers and closed his eyes, looking exhausted. Looking—something. When he opened them, they were hardwired into her, making her gasp with the intensity there.

Before she could process it, he put a hand behind her head and pulled her in, kissing her softly and hungrily at the same time. She could taste the salt on his lips, the work of the day, and she kissed him back, falling into it. Damn it, it was these things that kept her stirred up and crazy; she couldn’t think straight when his mouth was—but God, it was Zach. It had always been Zach. No man since had ever been more than him.

When his mouth finally left hers, he took a ragged breath and pressed his lips against her forehead. She fought to catch her breath, knowing she needed a clear head, but everything inside her wanted to stay just like that. All up in him.

“Maddi, you need to go,” he said.

She physically flinched. Not that what he was saying was wrong. He was right. And she knew he was right. She’d left this crazy life behind once before, and if nothing else, today was screaming that at her. Still, hearing those words from Zach was a sucker punch to the gut.

“What?” she said, backing up to look into his face. Not because she didn’t hear him, but to buy time. Time to think and time to study this oddly blank and defeated look on his face. It wasn’t a Zach she knew.

“Please don’t make me say it again,” he said. “I don’t know if I can.”

That was the damned most honest truth he’d ever spoken.

Maddi needed to get away from this. She wasn’t made for it. Not even back in the day when she thought she was. When she’d ride along on occasional mild runs where he knew nothing was going to happen, she’d act like she was into it, but after his father died, her outlook changed. And after getting buried in their apartment complex—well, she did what she had to do. And as horrible as that had been for Zach, she’d done the right thing for herself.

Not everyone was cut out for that life. Or to be the spouse of that life, because that’s what it was. Anyone married to a storm chaser was married to the storms. He remembered her words from last night and knew they were true, too. There would always be a storm calling him away from her.

And as he watched her expression, watched the conflict working in her eyes, he knew he’d been right earlier. She was already gone. She just didn’t know it yet.

It’s why he’d had to kiss her one more time. Taste her, love her, something. God, he needed more. And he desperately needed to
not
need more.

Maddi looked down at where their hands were joined, and he saw her lip quiver.

“I still love you, Zach,” she said, the words almost inaudible.

He heard it, though. Every word. As all five words kicked him in the chest and knocked him sideways, he waited. Because it wasn’t the kind of
I love you
that ends well. He’d heard it before. When she finally looked back up at him, her tears fell free.

“But,” he prompted, feeling the shutdown start. That was okay. He needed it.

“But I can’t do this again,” she said.

Agree with her.
“I know,” he whispered.

A flash of pain went through her eyes at his words, but she continued.

“I can’t go through every day worrying when the phone rings. When you’re going to run out that door. If you’ll come home. One person’s slipup can put everyone in danger. What
I did today
nearly killed Simon,” she said, her voice choking. “Nearly killed everyone. I put Rudy in danger to save my job,” she sobbed. “Who does that?”

“Maddi—” Zach began.

“No, don’t make it better,” she said. “You got hurt to save me. I know you. You’ll do the same thing for any one of your family if they get in trouble, and what if it kills you? In your line of work, Zach, the odds worsen on every run. Your dad is proof of that.”

“I know,” he repeated.

“But—”

“There’s another but?”

She chuckled through the crying, looking so fucking adorable he almost lost his resolve.

“But last night—”

“Was last night,” he finished, the words tasting sour on his tongue. “You can’t base the rest of your life on one amazing reunion.”

He saw the flicker of hurt pass through her eyes again, and he wanted to take it away, tell her that night was the whole world. Tell her it was all that mattered. But that hurt might be just what she needed to do the right thing again. To walk away. To stay safe.

“I screwed up today,” she said. “I know that.”

He squeezed her hand. “Let it go.”

“It was really just
a night
to you?” she said.

He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his face. He’d tried, but he was too tired, too mentally wasted to completely play it out.

“What do you think, Maddi?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “You kiss me like that and then start talking in circles.”

He looked at her lips and licked his own, remembering every second of every taste, every touch, every unbelievable moment of loving Maddi Hayes in the pouring rain.

“It was unforgettable,” he said. “Until I ruined it.”
Keep going. Keep going.
“I’ll always ruin it, Maddi. You know that. Everything in you knows that. You still need to go.”

She searched his eyes with those deep blue ones that threatened to take him down. He steeled himself to show nothing, and had no idea if it was working.

“I still have the show to do,” she said.

“If Eli comes down off the mountain,” Zach said.

She shut her eyes. “I screwed up there, too. If this is blown, my job is gone anyway.”

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “And I can do the rest of my part from the office mostly,” she said, meeting his eyes with something that almost looked like a question. “I don’t need to stay here. I can run the footage and assign the runs to the top crew members.”

Zach took a steadying breath to tamp down the pain that had nothing to do with his back and everything to do with his heart.

“Good idea.”

She gave him that look again.

He had to look away. He had to keep looking away.

Chapter Twenty-Six

H
e wanted her to go.

Everything in his face, his eyes, his actions, and his body language said otherwise. They said things that had her skin burning. His looks had been killing her all the previous day. But then what? Face-to-face, on what was left of Harlan’s porch? His words told her to leave. The exact thing she’d been thinking all that day as the world exploded around her. Until he kissed her. And everything went caddywhompus, and then she’d said—
that
.

And he didn’t say it back.

She nodded to herself as she went through the motions of making sandwiches next to Miss Lou. She’d wanted to keep this professional and uncomplicated from the start, and epically failed, so maybe it was just as well.

And yeah, she was buying that.

“God knew what he was doing,” Miss Lou said, cutting sandwiches in half as fast as Maddi was making them. She clearly felt the need to feed every soul that came through her home. Especially ones raking the leaves from her family room on the other side of a sheet of white plastic. “He spared us the kitchen and the bedrooms.”

“Hmm,” Hannah said, nibbling on a piece of string cheese and leaning against the counter. “Well, that giant new patio you have is quite the statement on his part.”

“It’s okay,” Miss Lou said. “Like I said. It could be worse.”

“It could be like Harlan Boudreau’s house,” Maddi said, glancing at Hannah.

“Yes, it could,” Miss Lou continued. “I am very blessed.” Her phone sang from the opposite counter, and she walked over and picked it up. “Speaking of blessings,” she said with a wink at Hannah and a holding up of her phone. “It’s your brother.”

“She always says that about Levi like I don’t have three other ones,” Hannah said.

“Well, you did share a womb,” Maddi said.

“He’s been calling every other hour since yesterday,” Hannah said. “He said it’s been on the news.”

It had indeed been on the news. It had been everywhere. Nicole had called, her parents called, Monroe called. Everyone was burning up her phone. Everyone except Zach.

He came and went, but kept his distance, talking mostly with his mom. Maddi knew what he was doing. It didn’t make it any easier.

Maddi’s phone buzzed from her pocket, and she wiped her hands on a towel and pulled it out. Nicole again. Fantastic.

“Hey,” Maddi said.

“Hey!” Nicole said, her voice clipped. “I just had a very short conversation with Elijah Chase.”

Maddi’s eyes closed. “And?”

“He informed me that the show is done.”

“I—”

“I informed him that we have a contract for the pilot and three,” Nicole said, cutting Maddi off. “To which he said there is nowhere to film it now, so—”

“That part’s true,” Maddi said. “Unless we do it in the kitchen.”

“Then do it in the kitchen,” Nicole said.

“Nicole,” Maddi said, frowning. “They just had major destruction here. We’re trying to clean things up, not film right now.”

Maddi heard the infamous sigh of impatience on the other end. “You aren’t the cleanup crew, Maddi,” she said. “You don’t live there, and you aren’t the daughter-in-law.”

That woman was going to be my wife.

“Wow, Nicole, that’s nice,” Maddi said, sucking in a breath to replace the one just knocked out of her.

“Well, sometimes we need to remember who we are,” Nicole said. “You’re there to film a show, and if you aren’t filming and they need a break to get things back together, then let them. Let Eli cool off. Can you get a ride back into Dallas, or do you need me to come get you?”

Zach watched from the far end of the driveway as the two trucks and the rental car were packed up to go back to Dallas. The network’s van would be in the shop for a while, Eli had said, so they had arranged a rental to pick up the slack.

Maddi stood off to one side, speaking when spoken to, pointing here and there, standing there with her old blue suitcase—and it finally dawned on him. That was the same suitcase he’d unwrapped her from in the rubble from their apartment. It was a survivor, like her.

Well, that was good. They were leaving. They could both keep on surviving.

The crew was piling into the trucks, and Rudy grabbed her suitcase and put it in the rental car before he got in. But she still didn’t move.

He knew she wouldn’t until he let her go.

“Be careful on that drive,” he said, walking up the far end of the porch.

She turned, and he had to physically push his feet forward. The look on her face when she saw him, heard his voice, just about drove him to his knees. She lifted her chin and blinked to cover it, but he’d seen it.

It didn’t matter. She had to go.

“It’s only an hour and a half,” she said, a small smile masking her need to blink away.

“And you can hit a pothole and rip out your transmission a block from here,” he said, aware that he’d just channeled his mother. “Just be careful.”

She chuckled. “Yes, sir.”

“Got everything?” he asked, stopping a couple of feet away. He shoved his hands into his pockets before they could reach for her.

“I’ll be back to reset things in a week or two,” she said. “Hopefully. So if I’ve missed anything—”

“But you’re not staying then,” Zach interjected.

She stopped and inhaled slowly. “No,” she said. “It’ll go quicker the second time around. They can pretty much do it without me, and I’ll—um—have my car.”

She was babbling and prolonging the moment of leaving and he didn’t care. He’d listen to her babble forever.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, just to say something.

“How’s your back?”

“It’s all good,” he said with a grin.

“You’re lying,” she said.

“Nah, good drugs,” he said. “Just have to take it easy for a bit.”

“Yeah, that’s the part I’m talking about,” she said. “I’ve never known you to take anything easy.”

He shrugged. “Call it a growth experience.”

Her eyes were searching his. Needing more. Damn it, he needed to shut down his heart before she found what she was looking for.

“Zach.”

He shook his head slowly before his name was all the way out of her mouth.

“Don’t.”

She bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head, as if that action alone would stem the flood of words that wanted to be said.

“We are who we are, Maddi,” he managed. “Nothing wrong with either side. They just don’t go together.”

She looked down, holding her stomach as if he’d punched her there. He could hear her breathing, pulling wobbly breaths in to steady herself so that her voice wouldn’t give her away. He knew her tells again. He knew too much again.

“Okay, so maybe I’ll see you in a couple of weeks,” she said, not looking up.

“See you then.”

He could have waved her off and watched her drive away, but he didn’t have it in him. He turned and walked through the front door before she’d even shut hers. Resting his forehead against the solid wood of the door, he listened to the engine start and fade away.

It had to be the painkillers making him weak. Yeah. That was it.

“Zachariah,” said a voice behind him he wasn’t expecting.

“Gran,” he said, turning. “I didn’t know you were here. Simon here, too?”

She shook her head minutely, her white curls in stark contrast to the bright-red scarf and jogging suit she was wearing. “I had my driver drop me by.”

“For?” Zach asked.

“For dinner of course,” she said. “It’s Thursday, I’m just early. Thought maybe I could help.”

It was already Thursday again. “Um, there’s no room to have it in,” Zach said. “Kind of a mess in there.”

Gran shrugged. “Then I’ll order in something catered. With tables.”

Zach chuckled to himself. Leave it to Gran.

“So Maddi Hayes has left again, has she?” Gran asked, moving her chair closer.

Zach took a moment to breathe through the resonance of those words and paste on a polite smile.

“The crew has left, yes,” he said. “There’s nothing to film right now. They’ll be back when it starts back.
If
it starts back.”

“Meaning Eli?”

“Meaning His Highness, yes,” he said, leaning against the door and running a hand over his face.

“I thought the deal was that you all had to opt out in order to void it, not just Eli,” she said.

“It is,” Zach said, letting a tired smile come. “But honestly, Gran, if he really stands his ground on this, we’ll have to go along with it.”

“Because?”

“Because he’s family,” Zach said.

Gran sat back and regarded him for a moment. “I’m proud of you for that.”

“Well, I’m going for my favorite-grandson badge, so . . .”

She waved a hand at him dismissively. “Don’t be cute. I’m serious. It takes a lot for Eli to tolerate all of this.”

“I know.”

“Picking family over business tells me I made the right choice,” she said, crossing her thin arms over her chest.

Zach frowned. “What choice?” Bells dinged in the recesses of his mind. “Oh, hell, don’t tell me.”

“Just listen.”

“This was
your
idea?”

“No!” she said. “I’m not that creative, I’m afraid. I just happened to be at a fundraiser after you told me about it, and I was talking to Richard Woodbriar.”

Zach fought the urge to growl and pace, then gave in to the pacing. “And so you said,
Hey, my grandkids want this toy, how much to make sure they get it?
”

“No, smart-ass,” Gran said. “I asked him if he’d heard about the proposal. He hadn’t yet, so I filled him in. And you’re welcome, by the way.”

Zach ignored that comment and raised an eyebrow. “And?”

Gran sighed. “And he owed me a favor from a prior deal, so I—kind of called in that favor.”

He closed his eyes. Everything he didn’t want was happening anyway. “Jesus, Gran.”

“So I donated a fat little check to the cause to sweeten the pot so he’d be happy about it,” she said.

“Well, this explains the firing squad,” Zach muttered from behind his hands.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Zach dropped his hands and forced a smile. “Anything else, Gran? Any other big secrets? Mafia connections? Elvis back from the dead and throwing in a few bucks?”

“I was only trying to get you what you wanted,” she said. “You were so excited about it when they called to pitch the idea.”

“Yes, I was,” he said. “I was excited to do something on our own.”

She hit a button and moved closer. “Zach, honey, you
will
do this on your own. You will make this succeed because you are a Chase. You’re a winner. You and Simon and Eli and Hannah will be the ones to make this work, not me. All I did was press ‘Start.
’
”

Zach laughed in spite of it all. “Press ‘Start,’ huh?”

She held up her hands in a show of innocence. “Totally done with love.”

He took a deep breath and let it go. “You know your love gets heavy, right?”

“Better than too light,” she responded.

His mom walked down the hall, pushing aside the plastic that separated them from what was once the living room. “What are y’all doing talking in the foyer?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re just chatting about Elvis,” Gran said, turning her chair back toward the kitchen.

“Yeah, you know, you never answered that question,” Zach said, pushing her chair manually.

“Never will, honey,” she said, reaching up to pat his hand.