Love Me With Lies 03 Thief (23 page)

“It’s my house,” I say calmly. Leah’s face is pale. She runs her tongue along her teeth, blinking slowly.

“Did you know Turner?”

“Yes.”

“And you had him ask Olivia out … to keep her away from me?”

“Yes.”

I nod. My heart is aching. I lean over the counter to gather my rising anger before it explodes. I push it down, swallow my contempt and look her in the eyes. Olivia and I never had a chance. The whole time we were destroying ourselves, someone else was having a go at it too.

“Leah,” I say, closing my eyes. “The hospital … after you took those pills-” my voice cracks. I rub a hand across my face. I am so tired. “Were you pregnant?”

She raises her chin and I already know the answer.

Oh God. She lied.
If she lied about that baby, what else has she lied about? I remember the blood. All the blood on our bed sheets. She said she was losing that baby and I believed her. It was probably just her period. How long after that had Estella been conceived?

I pace the length of the kitchen, my hands behind my neck. I say her name again; this time it’s a plea.

“Is she mine, Leah? Oh fuck.” I drop my hands. “Is she mine?”

I watch her face as she takes her time answering. She looks conflicted as to whether or not to tell the truth. Finally, she shrugs.

“Yeah.”

The whole world goes quiet. My heart crashes. Rises. Crashes.

Grief cleaves me in two. Two years, I haven’t seen her in two years. My daughter.
My
daughter.

The empty glass I drank tequila from sits to the right of my hand. I let my anger come, swiping the glass to the floor. It shatters and Leah flinches. I want to shake her, I want to throw her like that glass and watch her shatter for all the things she’s done. I head for the stairs.

“Caleb.” She comes after me, grabbing my arm. I yank myself free, taking the stairs two at a time.

She calls my name, but I barely hear her. I reach the top of the stairs and turn left down the hallway. She’s behind me, begging me to stop.

“Caleb, she’s sleeping. You’re going to terrify her. Don’t…”

I fling open the door and take in the soft pink light. Her bed is in the corner, a white four-poster. I walk in slowly, my steps muffled by the carpet. I can see her hair fanned out on the pillow, shockingly red and curly. I take another step in and I can see her face — pouty lips, chubby cheeks and my nose. I kneel next to the bed so I can see her, and I cry for the second time in my life. I cry quietly, my body shaking from my sobs.

Leah’s pleas have stopped. I don’t know whether she’s behind me or not — I don’t care. Stella’s eyes flutter open. For being woken up in the middle of the night by a stranger, she is surprisingly alert and calm. She lies still, her blue eyes watching my face with the gaze of a much older child.

“Why are you cwying?”

The sound of her voice, raspy like her mother’s, startles me. I cry harder.

“Daddy, why are you cwying?”

I feel like someone has just poured ice water over my head. I lean back; suddenly sober. I take in her disheveled curls, her full chubby cheeks, and I melt for my daughter.

“How do you know I’m your daddy?” I ask gently.

She frowns at me, her little lips pouting, and jabs her finger at her bedside table. I look over to see a picture of myself, holding her as a baby.

Leah told her about me? I don’t understand. I don’t know whether to be grateful or furious. If she wanted to make me think this little girl wasn’t mine, why would she bother making Estella think anything different?

“Stella,” I say cautiously, “can I give you a hug?” I want to pull her to me and sob into her beautiful red hair, but I don’t want to scare
my
daughter.

She grins. When she answers, she lifts her shoulders up and tilts her head all the way to the side.

“Sure.” She leans forward, arms outstretched.

I hug her to my chest, kissing the top of her head. I can barely breathe. I want to pick her up, put her in my car and drive her away from the woman who has kept her from me. I can’t be like Leah. I have to do what is best for Stella. I want to hold her to my chest all night. It takes everything I have to separate from our hug.

“Stella,” I say, pulling away. “You have to go back to sleep now, but guess what?”

She makes a cute, little kiddie face. “What?”

“Tomorrow, I’m going to come pick you up so we can hang out.”

She claps, and again, I’m tempted to pick her up and carry her out tonight. I curb my enthusiasm. “We’re going to go eat ice cream, and buy toys, and feed ducks, and kick sand at the beach.”

She slaps a hand over her mouth. “All in one day?”

I nod.

I help her snuggle back under her covers and kiss both of her cheeks and her forehead. I kiss her chin for good measure. She giggles, so I pull back the covers and kiss her toes. She squeals, and I have to press my fingertips to the corners of my eyes to stop the tears.

“Night, pretty baby.”

I close her door softly. I don’t make it five steps when I find Leah sitting against the wall. She doesn’t look at me.

“I’ll be here first thing in the morning to pick her up,” I say as I walk toward the stairs. I want to get out of the house before I strangle her.

“She has school,” Leah argues, standing up. I double back and come within an inch of her face. I am breathing hard, my chest heaving. She squares her jaw. I hate her so much in that moment; I don’t know what I ever saw. My words are gruff and full of anguish.

“She has a father.”

It’s then that I hear the sirens.

“Hey, handsome, what are you doing here?”

I lifted my sunglasses and smiled.

“Cammie.”

She smirked and stood on her tiptoes to give me a hug. My eyes darted past her and searched the crowd walking into the mall.

“Is she-?”

She shook her head. “Not here.”

I felt myself relax. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing her. Out of sight, partially out of mind was what was working for me at the moment.

“So, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home with the pregnant wifey witch?”

We fell into step and I grinned at her. “I’m here for a pretzel actually. She had a craving.”

“God, that’s embarrassing — once the big man on campus, now the bitch’s errand boy.”

I laughed. Cammie was always good for a laugh. I held the door open for her, and the air conditioning blasted me in the face.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know me,” she sang, stopping at a rack of skirts. “I like to spend money.”

I nodded and stuck my hands in my pockets, feeling awkward.

“Actually,” she said, turning to me, “I’m looking for a dress to wear to a wedding. Help me?”

I shrugged. “Since when do you need help shopping?”

“Oh, that’s right.” She tucked her lips in and shook her head. “You have to get back to your pregnant wife. Don’t let me hold you up.” She dismissed me with a wave of her hand and pulled a slinky white dress off the rack.

I scratched the back of my head. “White makes you look matronly.”

She narrowed her eyes and put the dress back, while still looking at me. “Who asked you?”

She held up a blue silk dress for me to see and I nodded. She shoved it at me and I took it.

“So, do you know what you’re having … boy … girl … seed of Chucky?”

“We’re not finding out.”

She tossed another dress my way. I re-shelved it when she turned away.

“I own a nanny agency, you know. So, when the little bundle comes along, I’m sure I can find it a new mother.”

She held up a Gucci dress and I nodded. “She’ll be fine. You know I’m traditional about those things.”

Cammie snorted. “You might be, but I highly doubt your lovely wife will be offering up the breast any time soon.”

I ground my teeth together, which she noticed right away.

“Sore subject much? Don’t worry C-Dizzle, I’ve seen this before. Tell her you’ll buy her a new set when it’s all over. That should bring her around.”

I cocked my head. That wasn’t a bad idea.

I followed her to the changing room.

“So,” I said, leaning against the wall outside. “How-”

“She’s fine.”

I nodded, looking at the floor.

“Is she-”

She burst out wearing the blue dress and spun in a circle.

“Don’t even bother trying the others on,” I said.

She made a kissy face at the mirror and nodded. “You’re right.”

The door slammed closed. A minute later, she came out dressed and carrying the garment on her arm.

“Well, that was easy.”

I walked with her to the register and watched as she plucked out her credit card. “Now a gift and shoes and I’m all set.”

“What’s the dress for again?”

She leveled her eyes on me, a wicked smile playing on her lips.

“Didn’t I tell you?” she said innocently. “This dress is for Olivia’s wedding.”

A tremor of shock passed through me. Suddenly, all of the colors around me were bleeding together, hurting my eyes. I felt sick, my chest constricting with each second that passed. Cammie’s lips were moving; she was saying something. I shook my head to clear it.

“What?”

She smirked at me and tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. Then she patted my arm sympathetically.

“Hurts, doesn’t it, motherfucker?”

“When?” I breathed.

“Uh-uh. I’m not telling you that.”

I licked my lips. “Cammie … tell me it’s not Turner.”

Her face broke into smile. “Nope.”

I felt the pressure in my chest release a little. A little. I hated Turner. I hadn’t even met the guy. It was by sight alone.

“Noah Stein,” Cammie said, grinning. “Funny story,” she said, making her eyes really big. “She met him on that little impromptu trip she took to Rome. You remember? The one where she came baring her soul, and you turned her away.”

“It didn’t happen like that.”

She cocked the corner of her mouth up and shook her head like she was disappointed in me. “You had your chance, big boy. Fate hates you guys.”

“Leah had just lost the baby and her sister tried to commit suicide. I couldn’t leave her. I was trying to do the right thing for once.”

She jerked to look at me. “Leah was…” her voice trailed off and her eyes glazed over. I cocked my head.

“Leah lost a baby?” she repeated. I saw something in her eyes that made me take a step closer.

“What are you not saying?”

She pursed her lips and shook her head at me. “When you went to Rome with Leah, were you trying to have a baby?”

Cammie was known for asking uncomfortable questions, but this was a little personal, even for her.

“No. We were just taking a break. Getting away from everything. Trying to work on-”

“Your marriage,” she finished.

“Why are you asking me this?”

She suddenly looked up from the patch of floor she’d been staring at. “Just interested, I guess. Hey, I’ve got to get out of here.”

She leaned up to kiss me on the cheek, but something wasn’t sitting right with me. Cammie was an obnoxious spitfire. When she started acting awkward, something was wrong.

“Cammie…”

“Don’t,” she said. “She’s happy. She’s getting married. Leave her alone.”

She started walking away, but I grabbed her wrist. “You said that to me once before, do you remember?”

Her face paled. She yanked her arm away.

“Just tell me when?” I pleaded. “Cammie, please…”

She swallowed. “Saturday.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head. “Bye, Cam.”

“Bye, Caleb.”

I didn’t get Leah’s pretzel. I got back in my car, drove to the beach and sat on the sand looking out at the water. Leah called me five times, but I sent the calls to voicemail. Saturday was two days away. She was probably a mess. She always was when there was a big life change on the horizon. I rubbed my chest. It felt so heavy.

I watched the couples for a long time, walking hand in hand along the water. It was too late to swim, but some kids were playing in the surf, kicking water at each other. In a few weeks, I’d have one of my own. The thought was frightening and exciting — the way you felt before getting on a roller coaster. Except this roller coaster ride would last eighteen years, and I wasn’t sure if my riding partner really wanted to be a mother. Leah tended to like the idea of things more than the actual things.