Logan Kade (Fallen Crest #5.5) (34 page)

And there it was. The backlash. “Logan, I—”

“I fucking care about you. I told you about my mom. I told you about Mason. I don’t let people in, and I let you in.”

“Logan…”

“No—” He launched himself out of the car, rocking it a little with the sudden movement. He glared at me. “I’m not being conceited. That’s not what I’m doing here, but I let you in, Taylor. So many people want in, but
you
got in. You got in when my last girlfriend tried for an entire year to get in, and she didn’t. But you did. You!”

“Logan—” Letting him go now meant he couldn’t walk from me later.
This was for the best. We would’ve ended anyway. Everything ended. Everyone walked away.

His nostrils flared. His hands curled into fists. He shook his head. “So because you surrounded yourself with shithead friends means I’m getting the boot? That’s fucked up, Taylor. Fucked. Up.”

“I can’t.” My voice was a whisper. “I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m doing this to prevent even more hurt later on. Don’t you see that?”

“What?” He leaned down, bracing his hands on the car’s door. His eyes stared directly into me. “You’re wrong. You’re so completely and fucked-up wrong. I live, Taylor.” He pointed to his chest. “I don’t turn shit off and hide. I live, and if that means going at the storm, I’ll go. I don’t hold back. I don’t flinch. I never second-guess. I do life. Otherwise, why the hell are we alive? Why are we here if we let our demons win? They don’t give a shit. They’re off doing their thing. You should, too. You’ve been through the fire already. Why are you still afraid? There’s no way in hell I’m going to let some ‘less than’ experience I had rule how I live the rest of my life. Whatever. Fuck you, Taylor. Fuck off. Oh, by the way, I took care of your jackass for you. He should leave you alone.”

And then he was gone.

I closed my eyes and knew it was done. I’d tried to walk away clean, but whatever I’d had with Logan Kade had been destroyed anyway, at my hand. I drew in a ragged breath. Fully alone now, I let the tears come.

Everyone left.

He would’ve gone, too. Eventually.

It was better to be broken now than beyond repair later.

ASSCHEEKS & CUPCAKES

LOGAN

Nate was in bed when I pushed open his door, flipped his lights on, and threw some clothes at him. “Get up.”

“What?” He jerked upright. His hand lifted, the fist formed already, but he relaxed when he saw it was me. He rubbed at his eyes. “Logan? What are you doing?”

“Whatever our problem is, I don’t care. I need a drinking buddy, and Mason’s all curled up with Sam. You’re it.”

He picked up the shirt I’d tossed on his bed and glared. “Gee. How could I resist that invitation?”

I chucked a pair of his jeans over from his chair and paced as he dressed. I needed more than a drinking buddy. I need a friend, and I needed someone who wouldn’t make me feel like shit because I wanted to screw three different girls tonight. Mason would have the damn I-know-you’re-hurting-but-is-this-really-smart? look on his face, and Sam would press her lips together and look away if she saw me heading off with a chick in hand. Neither of them understood that a good climax was the best escape at times.

Nate did, so Nate it was.

“All right.” Nate followed me out the door, running a hand through his hair.

He’d put on the shirt I gave him, but I could see now that it was ripped at the bottom. He looked ready to tear down the city. That was what I needed.

“I’m here, and where are we going?” he asked.

Downstairs, I pushed open the door, tossing and catching my keys in the air. “Blaze has a party.”

He grunted, following me to my Escalade. “Blaze always has a party. Does that kid sleep?” But when we got there, the house was dark.

“What the fuck?” Nate wondered.

I was about to text Blaze when the front door opened, and he darted toward the car, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched forward. He climbed into the backseat and waved.

“Hey, guys.”

“Dude.” Nate twisted around. “Where’s the party?”

“What?”

I pointed to the house. “Where’s the party?”

“Oh.” He laughed. “No way. Not at my house. I know
of
a party. That’s what I said.” He propped his hands on the back of our seats. “But I have to warn you. This party is a little sketch.”

“Sketch?” Nate asked.

“Yeah. There might be hard-core people there. So…” He looked at us. “I mean, we don’t have to go. We can go somewhere else.”

Nate looked at me. “Some girls from Pete’s Pub told me about a party. We could go there instead.”

“Wait.” Blaze’s eyebrows pinched together. “What’s wrong with my party?”

“Define ‘sketch people,’” I said. I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking our crowd.

“Oh. Uh… I don’t know. Harder drugs, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” I said dryly, turning the vehicle onto the street. “That’s what I figured, and sorry, pal. We do not need to be hanging with the local crime circuit.”

“Huh?”

I ignored him. “Nate, where’s the other party?”

“Asking now,” he muttered, already typing on his phone. A few blocks later, it buzzed. “Ah-ha. It’s not far, and the girls are down to get dirty, if you know what I mean.”

“Show me the address.” Once he did, I took a sharp left turn. In between telling me where to turn, Nate and Blaze started to talk. Normally, I was a connoisseur of bullshitting, but this time, I tuned them out. I had other things in my head, or other people.

Taylor wouldn’t leave me alone. Her face kept flashing in my mind—the way she’d looked when I first saw her up on that roller coaster. She’d looked so small and defeated, but there was still a look of defiance on her face. Like the world sat on her shoulders, but she was ignoring it because she didn’t want to let it push her into the ground.

She was strong like that. She wasn’t an in-your-face kind of strong. She was quiet, but sturdy. The kind of strong that you didn’t know was there until you pushed up against it, and it threw you back on your ass.

Pain sliced through me as I remembered how I’d gone to her. I’d thought I could share a few stories, let her know everything would get better, and she’d be happy. Nope. I was the one bounced back on my ass. She was cold and locked up. I hadn’t read the signals correctly. Nate had told me I was hardened about letting new people in, but I had nothing on Taylor. She was made of ice. It was shiny and pretty, but it was thick. I could see her through it, so I didn’t even realize it was there until too late. Taylor was the hardened one, and I don’t even think she knew how much.

“Hey, right there.” Nate tapped my arm and pointed to a house at the end of the block.

Finally. I had a huge fucking knot tied up inside of me. At the sight of the party, I felt a little relief—like a knife had swiped at the knot, cutting away some of the tension. I was about to embrace my inner manwhore, and I wasn’t going to have any regrets about it. The first chick who hit on me, I was pulling her to a room.

“Logan, you look ready to tear into someone,” Blaze commented as we walked to the house.

I grunted, and Nate narrowed his eyes. I needed to get it together a little. I found them a smile and clapped them on the shoulders, pulling them in for a quick side-hug. “Fellas, you have no idea what night this is.”

Blaze frowned.

Nate muttered, “Oh, no.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No naysayers. No haters. There won’t be any of that negativity shit. This is our night, guys. This is the night we remind ourselves we’re men.”

“Yeah.” Blaze pumped a fist in the air.

“I know I’m a man. I don’t have to remind myself.” Nate stepped away and folded his arms over his chest. “Please don’t say we’re doing an orgy or a brawl. I don’t know if I’m up for that tonight.”

Good God, a brawl sounded like fun. I tilted my head to the side, knowing the grin on my face was weirding him out.

Nate shook his head. “Oh man, Logan. What are you planning?”

“Well…” I pulled him back to me and threw my arms around their shoulders again. “I’m planning to screw at least three girls tonight, but the brawl sounds like a good idea, too.”

Blaze stopped. “Wait. Seriously? I don’t want to fight.”

I dragged him with us, propelling us forward until I could kick open the door. A girl stood on the other side, drink in her hand and hunger in her eyes. I didn’t know her name, but she said, “Logan! Hey!”

I took in the sight of her: platinum blonde hair, tight shirt showing off her trim waist, and long-ass legs. Her miniskirt hid very little—I loved those. She motioned us inside the house, and as she turned, I could see her asscheeks. They were smooth, firm, and supple. And they were just asking me to touch them.

“Asscheeks and cupcakes,” I mused to myself. Oh, how I loved both things. A flicker of the old Logan ignited in me, the one who did what I pleased, who I pleased, and gave no shits about it. That Logan. Single. Carefree. If I wanted to streak later, I sure as shit was going to, and as I took a deep breath, I remembered how much I enjoyed that Logan. He was selfish, and he could indulge as much as he wanted, and this chick with her asscheeks right here to warm his hands was the first one in line. Tonight would be carnal fun.

I dropped my arms from around the guys, and Nate and Blaze moved farther into the house. I stayed behind, and so did the girl. Moving close to her, I looked down, and she grinned up at me. We weren’t touching, but one inch closer, and I’d be all over her. I just stared down at her, letting her see how much I wanted to fuck her, and when she saw it, she leaned closer.

“Hi there,” she breathed.

Enough with foreplay. “Got a room for us?” I had a quota to fill.

Her eyes widened, and she nodded, clutching her drink. “Yep.”

I took the drink from her, finished it in one gulp, and took her hand. “Lead the way.”

“Okay.” She giggled nervously, and she stumbled as we moved down the hallway. My hand went to her waist to steady her. As she weaved through the crowd with her head down, I watched her. If she were drunk, I’d have to find someone else. I didn’t like the wasted girls. I grabbed ’em before they got there, while they could still make decisions. A minute later, another girl fell backward, and Asscheeks ducked away from going down with her like a pro. She was fine. She’d stumbled from nerves.

She was about to sleep with Logan Motherfucking Kade. Why wouldn’t she be nervous?

My chest swelled. Girls wanted me to screw them. They’d line up if they could. Guys either wanted to hang out with me, or they wanted to get their faces ripped up by my fists.
This
was my life, not taking some broken chick to my spot, not pseudo kidnapping her ex-boyfriend and interrogating the shit out of him, not working so damn hard at making her smile, and certainly not loving it when she did, thinking it made everything worthwhile. Fuck no. That guy was a sap.

I’d learned a lesson with my first girlfriend, and if Nate thought I was hardened before, he had no idea how thick the wall was now. As I followed the blonde up the stairs and into a room at the end of the hallway, I told myself this was what l’d be doing with girls now. Dick only. No emotions. No heart. No nothing. Just sex.

The girl turned and started to undress.

I couldn’t close my eyes. If I did, I knew I’d see Taylor.