Lies of a Real Housewife (11 page)

but it was really hilarious at the time

I thought he was going to be cool, calm, and collective about it. Turned out, he wasn’t. He called Phae right there on the spot and, oh Lord, did it go down behind her disclosure about his private parts. That was very personal for him. I could tell by the way he handled the situation that it had hurt him deeply. He explained that it was caused from a motorcycle accident. Wow, he really did have one testicle. Phae laughed like hell about it. She even

called me on a three-way call a day later to let me hear
his ranting and raving.

She wanted to go out of her way to show me that she could care less

about his feelings, and she didn’t give a damn about me telling him what she said. It was a joke to her. She laughed, I laughed and we both really laughed

after
hearing how he snapped on Phaedra. He was crying like a baby.

Apollo was absolutely livid. That was so crazy. I knew then never

to tell him anything. He had gotten too emotional. I figured that he had to be raised by women. Most of the males I knew who were raised by women

tended to be very emotional.

Children learn what they see. If every time something goes wrong

and the reaction they experience were tears and screaming, then they tended to cry and scream. If they see someone standing strong and add
ressing what actually went wrong without emotional outburst then they would address problems that way. If a child was born in a home where only English was

spoken, that child would speak only English.

With the money I made from the bank job, I bought a car from my

brother. Got everything my children needed, gave my mom some money, and purchased some things for the new baby. Before I knew it, that money was

gone just as quickly as I had gotten it.

Chapter Four

“Then whosoever hear the sound of the trumpet, and take not WARNING; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.” Ezekiel 33:4 (NIV)

In October of 2001, I gave birth to my son, Jayvien. Phae was crazy

about my baby. My baby’s daddy and I were on the verge of breaking up. Obviously, I was too much for him and quite frankly, this man could not handle me. I will admit that I was being your typical ghetto female. I was plugged in, I was affiliated, and I didn’t need him. As far as I was concerned, he needed me. He would do disrespectful things like have females call my house for him, and that did it. I was not one to tolerate disrespect, so I left him and

started messing around with Drama again. 

Two months later, my trial date for the forgery charges had come

and gone.
I had several ID’s so it wasn’t my desire to answer the charges or to serve any time. In my little mind, I was balling hard, and never even went to court. At this point, I became a fugitive from justice. The state of Georgia was now looking for my dumbass. However, I wasn’t worried one bit by this. Because of my connections, I felt like I was a made-woman. Slim was very aware of what I was doing, and who I was running with.
I was a product of Phaedra Parks, and had several identities. I didn’t believe I would ever be caught. Like a true mafia outfit, we were operating above the law, and I was in an elite network of workers for Phaedra Parks. The only way they would

catch me was if someone snitched.

It was the be
ginning of a cool summer day. The early morning dew

had just set, and a steady breeze seeped through my upper bedroom window. Drama and I were lying in bed. I had just come back from the store. I was fully clothed, but he was butt naked. My cellphone star
ted ringing back to back. It was Jayvien’s dad, another local rapper known as Decatur Slim. Needless to say, there was already animosity. Drama was a top guy in the music business while other rappers were still trying to get noticed by the industry. The last thing I wanted was a confrontation between the two of them. Decatur Slim was fully aware of my previous dealings with Drama and everybody in Atlanta knew that Drama drove a white Mercedes-Benz truck. I didn’t have a garage so when Drama visited he would always park his truck right in front

of my door.

BAM! BAM! BAM! There was a loud banging on my door. I started

to the door, wondering aloud.

“What the hell? Who is banging on my door like that?” peeking out

the peephole. “Oh Lord, it was my baby-dadd
y! Damn! Okay… Think!” I

said to myself. Then quickly, I tried to surmise the situation. I couldn’t call the police because I was as hot as a firecracker. I could just ignore the banging on my door. I knew damn well, that I had told this man we were over.
Why in

the world would he be at my door acting like a damn fool?

By this time, Drama was all in my ear, asking me what was going

on. So I told him everything was good. Slim would leave in a minute, and the banging would cease. Drama was already agitate
d and was now screaming

in my ear.

“Do you know who I am? Why do you have me in this predica-

ment?”

A minute later, my baby-daddy was coming up the stairs. This man

had climbed straight through my kitchen window. All I could think was I’ll just be damned! There wasn’t enough time to hide. I knew I was going to have to fight this crazy man. He saw Drama lying in my bed, and went berserk.

Please do not get this twisted
. I wasn’t some small, petite, frail type. I wore size twelve shoes and was six feet tall, looking damn good too. Okay? So please don’t get me wrong, I grew up with an older brother, a bunch of boy

cousins, and fear was something that never gripped me.

My baby-daddy knew full well that I could handle myself, and so

did Drama. I mean Slim and I were thumping. Blow for blow, we went tumbling down the stairs. My weave was ripped out and everything was out. This was all out war. He was fighting because his f
eelings were hurt and I was fighting back because I had no other choice.

While we were scuffling Drama managed to walk out unnoticed. That sorry-ass-dude didn’t even try to break up the fight. He just broke out! What the fu**! My neighbor heard the commotion and the police were summoned. When the police arrived, my crazy baby-daddy gave them my real name. Of course, when the police ran the requisite background check on me, my outstanding warrant popped up. Then they promptly hauled my dumbass

off to jail.
I served four months in Washington State prison. My light sentence

was like a slap on the wrist to me.

I had money put up and Phaedra kept money on my books. She read-

ily accepted all my phone calls. I also knew that as soon as I touched down, there wou
ld be a job waiting for me. With my money up, I called home every single day and made sure money stayed on my books. The trip to prison was

more like a vacation to me.

When I touched down, I made one phone call to my big dog, Phae. She was real glad to hear that I had been released. It was already understood that I would meet with her once I had spent some time with my mother and children. I was surprised to see how much my kids had grown in that short time span. My mother told the children I was away at college. She told that lie truly out of motherly love. She never talked badly about me around my

children, and just like me, she demanded respect.

Decatur Slim, my baby-daddy, and I were done for good. There was

no way I could allow myself to be with an
yone who would think of selling me into slavery. Oh hell no! Forget that! Baby or not—it was a wrap for his ass! There was no compromising. I was gone with the wind. Everything about me

was illegal, and that made him a liability.

Two weeks later, Phaedra and I were back to business. Phaedra in-

formed me that Apollo would be out of the picture for a while. He had gotten knocked on another case in Newton County while I was temporarily away serving my bid. We agreed to meet at her office later that day. She
wanted me

to meet someone. This person would be Apollo’s replacement.

“Cool,” I said.

I couldn’t wait. By any means necessary, I knew that money was a

necessity. Phaedra’s schemes were clever and elaborate. She never ceased to astound each and every time she approached me with an assignment. On numerous occasions, I often found myself excited about learning her tricks