Least Said (74 page)

But
secrets,
I
reminded
myself
eventually,
became
harder
and
harder
to
keep
hidden.
Tina
had
been
very
lucky
that
she
and
Calum
had
finally
been
able
to
work
things
through
–
I
could
only
hope
with
all
my
heart
that
Jon
and
I
would
eventually
be
able
to
do
the
same
-
but
I
really
wasn’t
at
all
certain
that
it
was
going
to
be
possible.

All
the
joy
in
my
unexpected
pregnancy
leaked
away
as
I
was
forced
to
accept
that
this
really
wasn’t
the
answer
to
everything,
even
though
I
had
once
been
so
sure
that
it
would
be.
Expecting
a
baby
to
heal
our
marriage
was
like
placing
a
sticking
plaster
over
a
gaping
stab
wound
but,
even
so,
I
knew
I
couldn’t
just
give
up
without
trying.

‘Can
I
leave
William
with
you?’
I
said
suddenly,
making
my
decision.
‘I’m
sorry
to
have
to
ask,
but
I
know
you’re
both
right.
I’m
going
home
to
try
and
sort
things
out
with
Jon
and,
as
I’m
not
at
all
sure
how
things
will
turn
out,
I
think
it’s
best
if
it’s
just
the
two
of
us.’

‘You’re
doing
the
right
thing,’
Tina
approved,
‘but
at
least
wait
until
morning.
You
can’t
be
travelling
home
alone
at
this
time
of
night.’

‘But
it’s
not
even
eight
o’clock,’
I
pointed
out.

‘And
it
will
be
much
later
than
that
by
the
time
you
arrive.
No,
I
won’t
be
happy
to
see
you
setting
off
on
your
own
on
a
train
journey,
anything
could
happen.’
She
held
up
her
hand
as
I
went
to
speak
and
said,
‘If
you’re
going
to
insist,
then
I
will
get
Calum
to
drive
you.’

That
stopped
me
in
my
tracks,
because
as
much
as
I
wanted
to
get
home
to
Jon
as
quickly
as
possible
to
try
and
sort
this
whole
thing
out,
I
couldn’t
put
my
friends
out
any
more
than
I
already
had.
Expecting
Calum
to
face
the
journey
from
London
to
Brankstone
not
once
but
twice
-
because
he
would
have
to
face
the
return
journey
in
order
for
him
to
be
back
in
time
for
work
in
the
morning
-
was
a
step
too
far.
There
was
nothing
for
it
but
to
curb
my
patience
until
the
next
day
and
to
appreciate
and
accept
wise
advice
when
it
was
given.

I
put
my
hand
on
Tina’s
arm
as
she
made
a
move
to
inform
Calum
that
he
must
get
the
car
out
again
that
night.
‘No,
don’t
do
that,
Tina,
I’ll
wait
until
the
morning.’

‘If
you’re
sure,’
she
looked
relieved.
‘A
few
more
hours
can’t
make
any
difference,
can
they?’

Those
few
hours,
however,
felt
like
an
eternity
as
the
sleepless
night
passed
with
me
practicing
what
I
would
say
to
Jon
in
a
dozen
different
ways
–
and
imagining
a
dozen
different
responses
he
might
make
to
each
one.
None
of
them
were
positive.

After
all
that,
and
an
interminable
stop
start
journey,
Jon
wasn’t
at
home,
and
when
I
tried
ringing
him
at
work
and
discovered
he
wasn’t
there
either,
my
courage
failed
me
and
I
couldn’t
bring
myself
to
try
his
mobile
for
fear
he
would
say
he
really
had
left
me
for
good.

I
tried
to
tell
myself
I
was
over-reacting,
because
none
of
his
clothes
appeared
to
be
missing
when
I
checked
his
wardrobe,
but
Jon
never
took
time
off
work
unnecessarily
and
the
fact
that
they
didn’t
seem
to
know
where
he
was,
either,
worried
me.

I
did
what
I
always
did
in
times
of
great
stress
or
crisis
and
set
to
work
with
a
vengeance.
At
this
rate,
I
was
able
to
console
myself,
at
least
my
Christmas
orders
–
and
all
the
others,
too
-
would
be
completed
long
before
they
were
due
to
be
collected.

When
the
doorbell
rang,
my
heart
actually
did
skip
a
beat.
It
had
to
be
Jon
because
I’d
told
my
customers
and
friends
that
I
was
going
to
be
away
from
home
at
least
until
the
weekend.
He
had
obviously
mislaid
his
key
and
was
hoping
I
was
going
to
be
at
home
to
let
him
in.
The
fact
that
he
was
here
rather
than
going
back
to
work
must
mean
something
surely
and
I
chose
to
believe
that
everything
was
going
to
be
all
right.