Kinsella (Kinsella Universe Book 1) (19 page)

“After the conference, I will stand in the well of the US Senate and ask the Senate to rescind the US membership in the United Nations.  I will propose that henceforth that we pay dues only for certain organizations such as the World Health Organization.”

There were indrawn breaths.  “One of the points we’re pretty sure we can get passed in the international conference is a statement of intent from the other countries to at least review their UN memberships.”

“But the UN...” one of the deputy Secretaries of State murmured, awe-struck.

“Has had its day,” the President said simply.  “In the last dozen years it has passed more than a hundred Security Council resolutions requiring action on the part of the members.  Zero of those have been implemented in any meaningful way and most of them were watered down to begin with.  For seven years running the United States has tried to gain a seat on the UN Human Rights Council.  We have failed each and every time while nations like Syria, Iran, Cuba, China, Venezuela and Russia succeed...  I could go on and on, but the inmates are in charge of the UN asylum.

“I would prefer to concentrate our efforts on a multi-national international organization that will actually do something.

“And where the inmates won’t be invited to join.”

There was a lot more talk, and then the meeting was adjourned.  John Gilly turned to Stephanie.  “I feel like I was sandbagged.”

“Nothing of the sort, John,” she replied.

Admiral Delgado appeared.  “Captain Gilly?”

“Yes, Admiral?”

“One of the names that will be going to the President before the close of business today will be yours, to be in charge of the Space Service Rescue branch.”

Captain Gilly looked startled.  “I’d certainly like that, sir.  But I’m committed to the
Ad Astra
mission.”

Admiral Delgado grinned.  “Captain, if there was any way that I thought I could knock you out and impersonate you on that flight, I would.  I’d even trade you jobs.”

“Yes, sir.  It would be quite a fight.”

“So, your appointment will be effective the day after
Ad Astra
is due to return.”

“In that case, Admiral, I’m your man!”

“Admiral,” Stephanie interjected.

“Yes, Admiral Kinsella?”

“About this Admiral Kinsella stuff.  It would be rude to turn it down or resign, you understand?”

“Very rude,” the admiral agreed.

“So, the President has asked you to review the Space Service personnel files.  I’d be obliged if you would find my file and flag it ‘Review for promotion: January first, 2030.”

The admiral laughed.  “And what makes you think you might be qualified for another star a week after you’ve turned forty-two?”

“Oddly enough, I think that was how old you were when you were up for your first star.”

He laughed harder.  “Now that you remind me, I have to say that I was indeed.”

Stephanie smiled at him.  “Just so you know: I do like to win; I love being first.”

Admiral Delgado gave her a salute.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, Admiral Kinsella, I have a number of action items I have to deal with as expeditiously as possible.  You’d hate for me to forget even some of the lesser ones, wouldn’t you?”

Stephanie tossed him a wave.  “That’s why we have aides, Admiral.”

A few minutes later, Stephanie picked up her cell phone as they went through the last gate at the White House and entered DC traffic.

“Anna?  Stephanie.  They want to launch in a week.  I’ll assume the Space Service will promptly notify the military members of the crew.  Notify the scientific staff, if you will, and it wouldn’t hurt to remind the military crew, in case there’s a slight delay in them getting the word.  Check with Colonel Saunders to make sure that all our ducks are in a row.”

Stephanie snapped her phone shut.  John Gilly grinned at her.  “So, the yellow brick road is a couple of weeks closer than I expected.”

“As soon as I heard I was scheduled for this meeting, I alerted Anna that we’d be going early.  My bet was a week.”

“It must be nice to predict us so well.”

She turned to face him.  “John, I wish I could.  If I predicted things that well, I’d have told them no on the Fore Trojan rescue attempt.  On a lot of other things.  I never imagined, for instance, that the Israelis would be so eager to find a new home.  I’m in awe that they got one probe back, much less two.”

“Surely you’re not jealous!”

“Of course not!  I don’t want to send an instrument package to Tau Ceti — I want to go and see for myself.  But they were happy to share the data with us.”

“And no one else.”

“John, Anna has a new job.”

“A new job?”

“Sure.  She’s given her notice.  Two weeks after
Ad Astra
returns, she’s off to ‘other opportunities.’”

“And that is significant how?”

“She’ll be building a ship on the east coast of Taiwan.  The
Zion
.”

“An Israeli ship?  Wow!”  He whistled at the last.

“John, please don’t tell anyone, but that ship will be the size of
Ad Astra
and nuclear powered.  When it’s complete, it’ll lift to the outer asteroid belt where the Israelis already have a manufacturing complex.  There it will go from a hundred meter sphere to a hundred meter sphere with a boom a half kilometer long.  They are already testing personnel modules that can be built to simple designs, at least relatively simple designs, and hooked together.  As many as life support permits.

“Anna says that they will take a thousand colonists out the first time, then increase the numbers for each trip after that.  Substantial increases.”

“They expect to move everyone?”

“Probably not more than half,” Stephanie replied.  “But it will substantially reduce the risk to the Jewish people that a moonbat in Iran can wipe them off the map.

“Not to mention, the Taiwanese want a chance to get out of the shadow of mainland China.  The Chinese crackdown in Hong Kong two years ago effectively ended any hope that Taiwan will willingly agree to hook up with China.”

“Who would have thought that they would kill the goose that laid golden eggs?”

“They didn’t kill her, John.  They just gave her a hysterectomy.”

“Now what do you want to do?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Back to my hotel.  I’ll get a limo tomorrow, early, for the flight back to Hawaii.”

“I’d be happy to give you a lift.”

She patted his arm.  “John, once before I threatened to tell your wife how easy it is to seduce you.  Tonight you need to spend time with her, getting her adjusted to one week instead of four weeks.  You will not help things if you tell her that you want to get up at 4 AM to get me to the airport for my flight.”

He laughed.  “Actually, I’m not sure I want to get up that early, myself.”

“I get to sleep on the flight.  When we arrive in Hawaii it won’t even be noon!  I’ll have all those extra hours in my day!  I love it!”

“Admiral Kinsella,” he started to say.

“Uh oh!  I’m in trouble!” she said lightly.

“If I thought you’d actually sleep on the flight, I’d be a happy camper.  Instead, I’m sure you’ll stay awake until eleven or twelve, Hawaii local time, tomorrow night, working.  If you were one of my officers on a war patrol I’d have some of my ship’s masters-at-arms tie you to your bunk and I’d have the doc sedate you for a few days so you’ll be refreshed and ready for
Ad Astra’s
mission.”

“John,” she said softly, “answer me something honestly.  Have I ever seen you nod off in a meeting?”

He nodded.

“And have you ever seen me do the same?”

“No, but I’m not in my early twenties.  I didn’t nod off back then, either.”

“Well, the first time you see me fatigued, you can bring the subject up again.”

She laughed at him.  “Besides, you missed my briefing of General what’s-his-name.  It took a bit to get myself assigned to the bridge.  I’m going to make coffee and do environmental readings.  Not exactly rocket science and I’m not exactly going to be busting my you-know-what.”

“Your father taught you how to make coffee; you’re an expert.  Why would you want to do that for men who are certifiable assholes?”

She grinned.  “Why, Julian Schwartz bet me ten bucks that his environmental scrubbers will deal with all the complex hydrocarbons that living things excrete.  I’m about a hundred times more positive than he is that he’s wrong.  Still, if they can deal with the complex aromatics that coffee gives off, they can deal with practically everything.  He trusts me enough so that he’ll let me make environmental readings.”

She grinned smugly.  “We all have our niches to fill on a trip like this.  We just can’t have someone sitting on her bottom, doing nothing, no matter what she had to do with getting the ship ready to lift.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“A word that you’d stump our esteemed General with, since it’s longer than three syllables.  Colonel Saunders would ask you to spell it.”

“My wife taught me in the first few months we were married never to use a word I can’t spell.  She teaches third grade and is a spelling tyrant.”

Chapter 9 — Off to See the Wizard

Stephanie looked at the face next to hers in the steamy mirror in the bathroom as she dried off after her shower and as she started to brush her hair.  “I was concerned, you understand.  I’ve never really let anyone get close before.  Letting someone into my life was a really big step.  This has been better than I would have dared to imagine.”  She smiled broadly, but he just continued to wash his face.

“Thomas, at first I thought I’d be okay with leaving you for a month or two so I could go tom-catting across the universe.  Now I have trouble imagining not seeing you when I get home at night or when I wake up in the morning.  I don’t think I can go that long, cold turkey.”

Thomas paused and looked at her, then went back to washing up.

“Look, I knew I screwed up when I arranged for you not to be able to come along.  At the time I was just being my usual clever self, not really thinking about the ramifications of you being without me — and vice versa.

“So, Thomas, I’ve decided.  You are going to stowaway on the first starship.  Piece of cake!  You will go down in history!  A permanent place in the Guinness Book of World Records, because this will be the one and only first manned interstellar flight!  I just hope you’ll still be speaking to me once you’re aboard!  It’s going to try your patience, but you will just have to keep quiet until you’re a fait accompli.”

As if in response, he stopped washing and looked right at her.  “Meowr!” Doubting Thomas contributed his feline punctuation to her thoughts.

“We’re going to scandalize the Air Force, of course.  First of all, the only bag that will work for you is my camera bag.  I’m not about to leave my cameras home, so they will have to go in my duffel bag.  Thus, something from my duffel bag has to stay at home.  The stupid dress the Space Service says a rear admiral should wear, that’s what isn’t going!  A dress!  Can you imagine a ship full of female officers in free fall?  Every last one with her hands rigidly at her sides, trying to keep her skirt from floating over her head?  Idiots!  Morons!”

Stephanie Kinsella went into her bedroom and looked at the clothes she’d laid out on her bed for this trip.  Her mother, she knew, would be appalled, but Stephanie had no intention of making her bed this morning; she only made her bed once a week when she changed sheets, and this wasn’t the day.  Why change sheets today, when in a couple of weeks when she got back, she’d have to do it again?

Jeans and a t-shirt for today.  She was sporting her favorite t-shirt, the one with a map of the galaxy and the “You are here!” arrow.  She had a little surprise that she’d made up to go with it, but that was for later.  Don’t all reserve rear admirals wear Nikes, jeans, t-shirt and no bra on their first duty assignment?  Oh yeah, the President and a raft of others were going to be there and there would be speeches and all of that.

She grinned.  Nope, a short black woman wearing jeans, a t-shirt and no bra wasn’t going to be on the speaker’s list.  She’d looked up her position on the official crew list.  She was listed as “supernumerary personnel.”  A spare, in case of trouble.  Well, she had a little surprise arranged for that eventuality if it happened, just like she’d arranged so many other things.

No wonder military officers were strange!  The only way she would achieve her heart’s desire on this flight was if one of two people died.  A lot of military officers owed promotions to battle or disease that opened up slots for them to fill.  A hell of a thing!  She didn’t care if her mother would be scandalized by her language.  It was insane to pin hopes of advancement on someone else’s death.

Thomas came and sat on the bed to watch her dress and she suppressed a giggle.  Imagine the surprise of the supply officer if he checked container CJ-47!  Four tons of 'absorbent, oil,' complete with a mil spec number.  That should have alerted anyone who knew her that there was something fishy about that cargo container.  Not that even a visual inspection would have helped, because a lot of places use kitty litter for oil absorbent.  Only if someone went through the entire container would they have any chance of finding the four twenty-five pound bags of cat food and the two cases of canned mackerel that Thomas just adored, which she had snuck aboard as well.

It was an important research project; she’d written the project plan herself.  To find out how well human pets would adapt to shipboard life with changing accelerations and the occasional spell of zero-g.

She finished and gathered up her bags, slinging the duffel bag over one shoulder, her laptop around the other and took the camera case in her right hand.  “Another dumb, stupid rule,” she groused.  “What is it about the military?  A wheelie bag is an example of clever engineering design.  A duffel bag is so... my great-grandfather.”

She glanced at the clock and grimaced.  Her ride wasn’t due for another twenty minutes.  The problem with being anal about being late is that you always have some time to kill.  Nuts!  She went into her closet and got out the big wheelie bag she used when traveling on government business.  She just dumped the contents of the duffel bag into it, making only minimal efforts to straighten things out.  There was still some room, so she went into her closet and got out her travel iron and dropped it in.  Good luck, X-ray screeners!  Today you’ll earn your pay!

She was out at the curb in plenty of time.

The vehicle that pulled up next to her as she stood with her thumb jauntily in the air was an Air Force crew cab pickup.  She put her wheelie bag in the bed, where there were already three duffel bags.  She consigned her laptop to the pickup bed as well.  Another piece of required equipment.  Never mind that the
Ad Astra
had twenty times as many computers as people.

She climbed into the front seat, next to the driver.  “Morning, Charlie.  How’s things?”

Dr. Charlotte Rampling grinned.  “Not bad, not bad.  Steph, behind you is my son Richard and his buddy Steve Yates.  Richard and Steve belong to the Marine party.  Dick and Steve this is...”

“We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other over the next few weeks, Charlie.  Why burden these young men with useless trivia?”

“Whatever you say, Steph,” the older woman told her, a grin on her face.

Stephanie turned around and looked at the two crew-cut young men in the back seat.  Both were in Marine dress-uniforms, wearing corporal stripes.  She nodded at the one in front of her, with a name badge that said “Rampling” on it.  “Dick, right?”

The young man nodded.

“It must be nice to have a mother who can pull strings to get you aboard.”

“Oh,” Charlie Rampling said, “do you really think anyone in the Air Force or the Space Service listens to botany professors?”

Stephanie grinned at Dick Rampling.  “If there’s any trouble, corporal, you have my permission to rescue me first.”

Charlie nearly choked.

Thomas must have sensed competition and meowed.

“That sounded like a cat,” Steve said from the back seat.

Stephanie grinned.  “I skipped breakfast.  We’re going on a really long elevator ride and I didn’t want to risk travel sickness.  That was my stomach growling.  I’m a bridge rat, you see.  I don’t want to get sick in front of General What’s-his-name or Colonel Saunders.”

Stephanie thought Dick Rampling was even cuter when he looked serious.  “Mom, she has a cat.  That’s not permitted.”

“She has a wheelie bag, too,” Charlie replied.  “I’m far more jealous of that wheelie bag than a Cheshire Cat.”

“Charlie, how can you say that?  All you can see of the Cheshire cat is the grin.  Do you see a cat?  I don’t see a cat, not even a grin.  Imagination is a powerful thing, particularly if you are about to do something stressful, like watch two hours of speeches before we break for lift to orbit and finally, lunch.”

There was a line of vehicles at the entrance to the launch site, and Stephanie momentarily forgot she was teasing the two young men in the back, one in particular.  “Just go ahead of them on the left, Charlie.”

Dr. Rambling obligingly pulled the truck into the empty lane on the left, the one that was blocked off.  “Cones, Steph?”

“I think your truck’s kung fu outclasses theirs.  Run over them.”

“You can’t go down a closed lane, Mom,” Dick Rampling said.  “There are gate guards down there.  They briefed us yesterday on all the security precautions.  That was the first thing they did after we reported yesterday morning.”

The truck continued down the road, spewing cones left and right and occasionally up.  When they got close to the gate where guards were screening vehicles, Stephanie rolled down the window and leaned out and waved merrily at the guards.  One of them promptly walked behind the vehicle he had been inspecting, and parked himself in front of the vehicle immediately behind it, blocking the road.  The one vehicle went through and Dr. Rampling cut around behind it.

“Where should I park, Steph?”

“Follow the green lane; park in my slot behind the main office block.  Give your keys to one of the Air Force peons and they’ll return the pickup to the motor pool.  I promised Anna she could use the space after the lift.”

Stephanie hopped out of the truck and gestured at the others.  “Come along, I get to use the express check out lane.”

“This isn’t right, Mom,” Dick Rampling said.  “She can’t just do whatever she pleases.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised, Dick.  Why don’t you and Steve follow along and watch?  It will do your education good, although it may ruin you for the Marines to watch a real operator at work.”

They trailed Stephanie through the main administration block, still barely half finished after nearly two years, then out the front doors and down to the queue of people waiting to be screened to board
Ad Astra
.

Dick Rampling realized it was the President himself at the center of a mob of cameras and reporters standing in the middle of the main rotunda.  The woman in front of him waved to the President.  To Dick’s surprise, the President said something to the people he’d been talking to and then stepped towards her.  Stephanie pretty much ignored his approach, instead heading towards the security guard at a screening gate.

The President caught up with her.  “Professor, good to see you!”

“Sir, today the pleasure is all mine.”

Dick thought that a very odd way to reply to a greeting from the President.

“I see, Professor, that you’re not planning on talking today.”

“I told you I wasn’t to be on the schedule.  Surely you wouldn’t have gone against my wishes.”

“I saw that and went to Captain Gilly and inquired how that could be.  He reminded me that you’ve done yeoman work to keep out of the spotlight and that if I tried to schedule you for a speech that you didn’t want to make, I had better expect unexpected results.”

“That’s the nature of research, Mr. President,” Stephanie replied.  “That’s what we go looking for.  Unexpected results.  Politicians, I think, have different goals.”

“Politicians do prefer things a little more orderly.”  He handed Stephanie a long white envelope.  “This is a copy of something I included with the other mission orders.  I’d hate to see it get lost.  Unlike some, I don’t try to welsh on my bets, Professor.”

Thomas let it be known just how much he believed that.

The President smiled.  “One of the problems with Top Secret Kinsella, Professor, is that once primed, I watched you with extreme interest.  The reason I gave you that letter is because, while I hope you’re wrong, I know I was.”

“I need to get aboard, sir.  Odds are that Air Force clown on the bridge will burn the coffee again.  My father spent a lot of time, when I was younger, teaching me to be a barista.”

The President laughed and then turned to Dick Rampling and his friends.  “You’re with the Professor?”

“I’m not sure who she is, sir.  She doesn’t follow the rules.”

The President smiled broadly.  “Do you know why you’re going where you’re going?”

“The exploration of space, sir.”

“Because Stephanie Kinsella is a very curious woman who doesn’t care much for the rules.”  He waved at the
Ad Astra
, visible through one of the windows of the departure building.  “You don’t build things like that, young man, by following the rules.  Or by being reluctant to break them, as the situation requires.”

“I’m not sure I fully understand, sir.”

“You’re Charlie Rampling’s boy, right?”

The young man stood straight, remembering he was a Marine and whom he was talking to.  “Sir, yes, sir!”

“Your father was a hell of man, do you understand?  He got me out of a jam once.  Your mother asked me if I could see to it that you came along.  After I denied my own daughter a slot, it seemed like the least I could do, in the nepotism line that politicians are so famous for.”

“Oops!” Stephanie said.  “I just remembered I need to see a man about a dog.”

“Professor!” the President barked.  “What are you up to?”

“Well, ah...” Stephanie lapsed into silence.  Then she grimaced.  “She said you wouldn’t mind, that it was your wife who was upset at the thought of her flying off to wherever it is we’re going to be flying off to.”