Killing Lucas (13 page)

Two hours later, they were piled into Tony’s SUV, Tony and Hunter in the front seat, and Lucas and Kiloran sitting in the back. Trenton and Spencer had opted to stay behind. Trent needed a nap and Spencer had some work to do. It was unfortunate Lucas couldn’t convince Hunter and Tony they didn’t need to come either. Both had empathically said they wanted to come and, to Lucas’s annoyance, had played dumb and innocent to his heavy-handed insinuations. He needed a few minutes alone with Kiloran to talk about the letter. Perhaps the car wasn’t the greatest place, but he could have pulled over somewhere so they could have chatted. A diner, a coffee shop, hell the damned side of the road would have worked. After a week of telling her he didn’t want to hear what she had to say, damned silly in retrospect, he was now chomping at the bit to know.

“Are you okay?” Kiloran asked placing a hand on his arm.

“Fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Kil, its nothing.” A blatant lie, but he wasn’t going to open up with the two bozos in the front seat.

She bit her lip. “It’s the letter isn’t it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” He shot a pointed look at the front seat but he covered her hand with his. “It’s not a
I don’t want to hear
, it’s a
now is not the right time
. Don’t worry, we’ll talk. I’ve waited this long I can wait a few more hours.”

She smiled, though it wobbled at the edges. She looked so tired.

“When will your house be done?”

She looked surprised. “I don’t know. A few more weeks.”

“I think you might want to think about having them work overtime and get it done as soon as possible. You need to get away.”

She looked out the window and nodded. He wanted to pull her into his arms but if he did so she would shatter in to a million pieces. The rest of the trip they stayed silent. He listened to Tony and Hunter chatting aimlessly. At least for a few minutes he could find out about his nieces and sister. When this was all over, he needed to be a better uncle and see Zoe more often.

He resolved to be a better brother too. He could no longer let anger drive him. And just like that a small amount of peace come over him. The anger that had helped him survive wasn’t needed anymore and although the fury had been slowly ebbing for the past several months. Only dregs of resentment remained. He had been unable to get past feeling he had been made a fool of. But she hadn’t done that. And although he didn’t agree with why or how she had broken up with him, she hadn’t cheated.

Just knowing she hadn’t wanted someone else was a balm to his soul.

“Lucas?” Tony looked at him through the rearview mirror, concern in his eyes.

Lucas looked as his brother and smiled. He could feel the smile reach his eyes for the first time in years. “I’m fine.”

Tony smiled back and nodded. “Welcome back.”

Lucas shook his head and took a deep breath. When he turned to look at Kiloran he found her staring at him. He smiled at her and the sadness always present in her eyes these days eased a little. Whatever Tony saw she must have too. Maybe it was time to get his life back.

Chapter Fourteen

“I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”—Kiloran to Lucas

G
etting out of the SUV in the parking lot of the small hospital, Lucas took Kiloran’s hand. He cursed when he saw the crowd of reporters and fans standing in the entrance of the hospital. He turned to find both Hunter and Tony on their cell phones. Tony calling in for hospital security to meet them outside, while Hunter yelled at Agent Vassar about whomever had tipped off the press.

Kiloran gasped and put a hand to her mouth to prevent a giggle from escaping. “I can’t believe Hunter is yelling at the FBI.”

Lucas just shook his head. “I seem to remember him yelling at Vassar on more than one occasion, to be honest.”

“Security is right inside the doors,” Tony said. They’re coming out to meet us. And apparently when Vassar called to check about Kiloran coming to visit, one of the nurses tipped of the press. They’re trying to find out who now. You two go ahead. I’ll make a statement on behalf of the family and Kiloran.”

“What are you going to say?” Kiloran asked, looking at the large group.

“I’ll make it up as I go along. Now get in there before the mob gets larger.”

“Thanks.” Lucas placed his hand on the small of Kiloran’s back to better protect her. Hunter moved to her other side to do the same, leaving Tony to take up the rear and deal with the press.

As they approached the revolving doors that led the lobby, the noise became increased to a roar and the crowd pushed past the unprepared security. Kiloran put her head down and the ten feet to the doors was the longest ten feet Lucas had ever seen. Each step was harder and harder as photographers shoved flashing cameras in their faces and microphones seemed to come from nowhere. Even Tony’s assurance that all their questions would be answered if they would just let them through did little to appease the bloodthirsty horde.

As he was mere steps from the entrance and thought they were in the clear, Lucas saw a sudden movement through the crowd. He didn’t know why, with all the other pushing and screaming, this one movement caught his attention but it did. Something in his gut, deep in his subconscious, told him this meant danger Lucas had barely enough time to push Kiloran into Hunter and turn to face the assailant, determined to take the man down when he went for Kiloran.

Instead, the attacker headed straight at Lucas. Bracing himself, he prepared for the assault and wished he had more space move. Metal in the man’s hand glinted as a flash went off. Never taking his eyes off the knife, Lucas fisted his hands, prepared to jump the man first. But then he saw Kiloran break free from Hunter’s grasp.

“No!” he yelled, pulling Kiloran close, cradling her against his chest as he turned to shield her from the attack. He tensed, certain he would next feel the slice of a blade in his back. It never came.

Lucas turned, curious as to what or who had stopped the attack, only to find Tony on the ground with the man under him. Tony punched the guy once in the face before security came and pulled him off. Kiloran’s arms wrapped so tightly around Lucas she nearly took him to his knees. After a moment she pulled back, hands and fingers moving over him. “Did he hurt you?”

“He never touched me, Tony got to him first.” Lucas looked down at his brother who had yet to get to his feet. “Nice tackle, Tony.”

Tony nodded but other than that made no movement.

“Tony?” Bile formed in Lucas’s throat. “Tony, get up.”

Something was wrong. Hunter must have sensed it as well, as he kneeled beside his best friend. Hunter turned to the security at the door. “Get a fucking doctor out here now!”

Lucas pushed Kiloran to the side, landing on his knees beside Tony. “Wait for us in the lobby, Kiloran, and someone get these damned people out of here.”

He pulled Tony into his arms, supporting him against his body. Blood oozed from under Tony’s fingers. Hunter placed his hand over Tony’s to stop the seep of blood. “Damn it, we’re at a
hospital
. Where the hell are the doctors?”

Lucas had once heard that time stood still when tragedy hit. He’d never believed it until now. Seconds crept by with agonizing slowness. Tony remained uncharacteristically quiet, and that worried Lucas more than the blood. Hunter yelled at Tony to stay awake in between screaming for the photographers to get the fuck away. The flashes continued to go off, but Lucas didn’t care. All he could focus on was his younger brother bleeding to death in his arms. He helplessly watched Tony’s color go from unhealthy green to terrifying white. And for the first time in his life, Lucas understood Tony. Really understood him. He promised his brother right then and there he would never balk at his worrying ever again and rambled on about how the family needed him, Haven needed him.

The emergency-room staff showed up, in what he would later learn was only a couple minutes rather than the hours his brain made it out to be. Hunter, covered in Tony’s blood, and Lucas followed the gurney in a state of shock as far as they could.

“Luc,” Tony said as they were reaching the surgery door, his voice hoarse and broken. “Call…Mom and Haven…don’t let…see…TV.”

“Tony, stop worrying for once. We got this.” And then he was gone leaving them to stand staring at the door. Lucas only moved when Kiloran grabbed his hand.

Hunter’s deep voice cut through his thoughts. “You need to sit down, both of you.”

“I need to call my mother.”

“I’ll call her and Haven. You two go find a place to wait,” Hunter said, heading to the nurse’s station.

They were moved within by hospital security minutes to a waiting area on the third floor, where a hospital rep came to assure them the press was at bay and apologized, clearly terrified of a lawsuit. Agent Vassar arrived next with a few agents. He asked a few questions, but since most of the incident had been filmed, he didn’t need much of a statement at the moment. He explained that the police were still in the process of identifying the man who attacked them. Once that had been established the FBI could step in and get some answers.

Lucas leaned over, his elbows on his knees, and looked up. “Is he the one?”

“Looks that way.”

Kiloran should have been celebrating. It looked like the man behind all her terror had been caught, but she wasn’t. She looked as pale as Tony had. Lucas grabbed her hand and squeezed.

“It wasn’t your fault, Kil. That guy was going to hurt someone today,” Hunter said as he came into the room in a hospital green scrub top. His shirt had been ruined by Tony’s blood.

“Hunter’s right,” Vassar said gently before adding he would return after searching the man’s hotel room if he had any news.

Spencer and Trenton arrived soon after Vassar’s departure. Trenton took Kiloran up to visit Nancy, both to get her out of the room and so Lucas could stop worrying about her.

Lucas paced, Hunter sat statue still, and Spencer stood guard at the door.

“Who called Haven?” Spencer asked to no one in particular

“Hunter did.”

“And Mom?”

“I did as well,” Hunter said. “They’re leaving as soon as they can get to Tony’s and Haven could get Jocé out of school”

“Should I look into a hotel for them?”

“If you need something to do, by all means call hotels while they cut open our brother.” Lucas kicked a chair across the room, anger erupting. “Why the fuck would he do that? Why didn’t he just let me handle the guy?”

“He’s Tony. Why does he do anything?” Spencer’s levelheaded voice cut through the red in Lucas’s vision.

“I could have handled it.”

“We know you could have, I think even Tony knew that. From what little I saw on TV and online, Tony didn’t make a move until your focus switched from the guy with the knife to Kiloran. At least that’s how it looked to me.” Spencer picked up the chair and placed it back on its feet.

“So it
is
my fault. If I had just stayed with Hunter…”

Lucas looked up and saw Kiloran standing in the doorway. There was no way to take back what he’d just said, and she wouldn’t have believed him anyway. And at that moment, Lucas wasn’t even sure what to believe. Frustration surged threw him anew as Lucas looked at the clock then the door before throwing himself into the nearest chair. “Where are the doctors?”

“Working on Tony,” Trenton said but his usual wise-ass attitude was missing.

Tears lingered behind her eyes, unwilling to fall. She didn’t have the right to come apart at this moment. She couldn’t take the focus off others. Lucas hadn’t said it, but Kiloran could tell he blamed her. And it
was
her fault, all of it. Had she done what was right all those years ago and never approached Lucas, none of this would have happened.

Yet everything she had done to protect him had come apart at the seams as they’d walked into the hospital today. What had she been thinking, trying to reach for Lucas? Answer: she hadn’t been thinking. Instinct to protect the man she loved had overruled common sense and in a split second Tony had stepped in to protect Lucas’s back.

Trenton had nearly had to pull her from the room to see Nancy. Kiloran didn’t want to see anyone. She wanted to comfort and support Lucas. “He needs me. I can’t leave him now,”
she had demanded as Trenton grabbed her elbow and escorted her out of the room.

Once in the hallway Trenton forced her to look at him. “Listen to me, Kiloran,”
he had said, “Lucas needs a second to fall apart, get angry—hell, punch a wall—and he can’t do any of those things if you’re there. Do you think I want to be out here? But I know the best thing—no, the only thing—I can do is to give him the space he needs for a few minutes. You have a friend who is expecting you, and she doesn’t know anything about what just happened. For her sake visit and act like nothing else is out of the ordinary.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” Trent had flashed a smile. “I’m a Sherman. And I can tell you this: Tony is too damned stubborn to die. So don’t you worry about that.”

Knowing two people lay in the same hospital because of Kiloran had made the visit with Nancy all the more painful. Nancy had been awake but not all that coherent; while the red welts on her face and hands didn’t seem as swollen, she was still on painkillers, which made her groggy. And although they had planned to discharge her the day before, Nancy had had a few episodes where her breathing had been labored, so the hospital staff hadn’t wanted to release her yet. So Kiloran and Trenton had sat with Nancy until she’d fallen asleep and the nurse had come in to tell them they to leave.

Not that it mattered. Both Kiloran’s and Trenton’s thoughts were on Tony.

Back in the private waiting room, she looked at the clock again. It had been close to three hours and still no news. Frustration built within her until she wanted to scream. She felt impotent and useless. Then everything erupted again as a flood of Shermans filled the room. Tony’s wife entered first with a visibly shaken daughter attached to her hip. She scanned the others in the room. Lucas’s parents and sister followed and for once the loud Sherman clan remained eerily silent.

“Spencer, can you please take Jocé down to get ice cream or something?” Haven asked in a ragged voice. Haven was holding it together, but just barely. Her eyes were puffy but Kiloran doubted she had let a single tear fall in the presence of her daughter.

“Of course. Come on, brat,” Spencer said keeping his voice light. He held out his hand, but Jocé ran to him and held on to his waist until he picked her up and carried her out.

Joseph, the Sherman patriarch, stepped out of the crowd to pull Lucas in a tight embrace. Lucas clutched his father tight. Only when Lucas let go, did Joseph ask to the room. “What have the doctors said? Any news at all on how Tony’s doing?”

“Nothing, we have heard nothing since they took him back.” Lucas’s anger erupted, causing the normally loud family to stare at him in silence. “Goddamn it. What the hell is taking them so long? It’s been hours.”

“Calm down, son.” Joseph patted his son’s cheek. “Somebody get him some coffee. I’ll be right back.”

Kiloran would have jumped at having something, anything, to do but Trenton was quicker, and was out the door before his father. She stayed out of the way in the corner, isolated and alone. Stepping back, Kiloran tried to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible. Lucas’s family reminded her so much of her own. She hated the distance she’d created with her family to keep them safe. If only she’d had the same willpower when it had come to Lucas.

Trenton returned with more cups of coffee than any one person should carry, all of which lay untouched on a side table. Funny how watching coffee cool seemed fascinating at the moment. Perhaps it was better than loneliness and isolation.

Haven was the first to notice her and come over. “Are you okay, Kiloran? It’s not your fault,” she said, wrapping her arms about Kiloran.

“It
is
my fault.”

Michelle Sherman came over and held Kiloran’s hand in her warm one. “Hon, don’t you know there is nothing in this world that would have stopped Tony from protecting Lucas?”