Kasey Screws Up the World (13 page)

Lara and Hayden left after dinner to go to the dance club, as usual. This time, I didn’t feel my usual pang of jealousy. I was excited for some alone time with Finn.

“Where are we going?” I shivered from the air conditioning and rubbed my arms as we walked to the elevator.

“Don’t you trust me yet? You’re always so impatient.” He was smiling so his words came out as sugary sweetness. “I like being in charge of you.”

“I like being led by you.”

“At least we’re in agreement.”

As we rounded a familiar hallway, I knew exactly where he was taking me. My stomach fluttered with corresponding nerves. “My room?”

He rested his palm against my door. “You have a balcony and I don’t. Thought it would nice to sit out there.”

“And talk?” I asked, because it was easier than asking a different question. I wondered if this was really code for hooking up. And in this case, “wondered” = “hoped.”

“I guess talking’s a better option than jumping overboard.” He grinned.

I wanted to laugh but that was too difficult while biting my lip. I inserted my key with a shaky hand. We bypassed the neatly made beds where a towel, folded into the shape of a bunny rabbit wearing Lara’s sunglasses, perched on her pillow. My eyes did a quick stray-underwear scan, but everything had been neatly tucked away. When Finn slid the balcony door open, a rush of breeze sent my hair dancing like marionettes on a stage of my shoulders.

Outside, Finn plopped into a chair and the sound of the motor rushed beneath us. I hoped my parents didn’t decide tonight was a beautiful night to sit out on their adjacent balcony. I curled my hands over the railing and leaned against it. At night, the ocean looked black, connecting to the night sky with an invisible seam. Lights illuminated the water surrounding the boat like an eerie spotlight on nothing. White foam ran in streaks below the boat, signifying we were speeding along the water despite standing perfectly still.

“So, Kasey—”

“You mean Victoria Cruise.” When I turned to face him, he reached out and scraped the second lounge chair closer to him.

“No, I mean Kasey.” He beckoned me to join him. “I want to know more about her.”

I flicked my wrist and lowered myself into the seat. “Oh, that girl? She’s lame.” The humidity made my thighs stick to the chair’s vinyl stripes. I stretched my legs onto Finn’s knees. “Victoria Cruise is way cooler.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” He lingered a hand on the bare skin just above my knee. Startled, I flinched, but he wasn’t deterred. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know.” I could barely even think about anything but his touch. “What’s there to tell?”

“Well, what’s she like in high school?” His finger trailed in a circle around my knee. My mouth went dry and I had to remind myself to swallow.

“Non-existent.” Stupid mouth, moving without permission of my brain. I removed my legs from his knees because I’d never be able to form a coherent sentence with his caress making me go insane like that. I knew I needed to clarify, but it took me a while to find the correct words. “At school, people only know me as Lara’s sister. I’m scared as hell about what will happen now that she’s graduated and I’m on my own.”

“You’ll have a chance to shine. Like you do here.”

I blushed, but it must have looked colorless in the glow of the moon. “Not likely. It’s already senior year and if I don’t prove myself on the dance team soon, I—”

“So prove yourself.” He grabbed my hand from where it rested on my lap and interlocked his fingers in mine.

I let out a strained laugh. “It’s not that easy.”

His thumb skated over my palm. “I don’t see why not. From what little I saw during the talent show tryouts, you’re good, Kase. Good enough to compete.”

My skin tingled at his confidence, or maybe that was just because of his soft touch. I leaned closer, desperately wanting to believe him, but deep down knowing there was an obvious problem to his logic. “There will always be someone better though. Someone who wants it more. Someone like Lara.”

“Is it that Lara wants it more?” He yanked his hand back from mine, and my fingers flopped to the concrete floor. “Or that you don’t want to take it away from her?”

A weird lump formed in my throat. I was too busy trying to please everyone instead of being myself. But being myself was foreign territory to me; sailing on an ocean I’d never sailed before.

“Let me tell you a story.” Finn sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his chair. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m nothing like Hayden. Back home, I’m far less popular than my brother ever was and I’m not nearly as attractive.”

“I think you’re cuter. I noticed you first, before your brother.”

“Really?” He sounded so hopeful.

I nodded a little too fast. “Yeah.”

His dimples caught the moonlight as he smiled. “I’m glad you think that, but the thing is, I don’t care about what I’m not. I know what I’m good at, drawing. It’s the only thing I want to do. And I don’t care if my parents think it’s a wasted career because it’s not Political Science like Hayden’s majoring in.”

“What do your parents say?”

“That they’re not paying for me to study anything but Law or Medicine. Which is stupid, because there are careers in art that make good money. Like graphic design or animation. So I’m going to Art School, whether they help me out with tuition or not.” He kicked the bottom of my chair with his shoe and peered up at me underneath his eyelashes. “Hopefully Art School in New York.”

My breath caught in my throat. “I happen to know a great little brownstone in Brooklyn you can stay at while looking for prospective schools.”

“You say ‘stay at’ I say ‘hide out from the wrath of my parents.’ To each his own.” Finn lay back down. “My point is, don’t let anyone hold you back. Not even yourself.” He paused and pressed a finger to his lip. “Well, unless your real goal is to become a prostitute, then I may have to talk you out of it.”

“Yes.” I faked a loud cry. “It’s true! I’ve never had a boyfriend because no one ever wants to pay me for more than an hour.”

He laughed and in the soft light of the moon, he glowed, the edges around his body softening into the background. “Luckily you have one now.”

Suddenly he was too far away. A whole chair away. My pulse buzzed in my ear as I stood from my chair and hovered over his. He readjusted his position to make room for me, which wasn’t much. I was cool with that. I climbed on top of him.

I moved my mouth toward his, but he tilted his head. “Kasey,” he said. His voice came out breathless. “I accept.”

I furrowed my brows. My brain had already moved onto the possibility of kissing so it was hard to comprehend anything else. “Accept what?”

“Your challenge. You think you’re not good as good as your sister, but I plan to prove you wrong.”

Displaying 2 out of 11 comments

Ali
said…

I remember getting that email. I thought it was super weird. And now I know it actually was!

Clark
said…

You’re right. The disguises are better.

I STARED AT THE computer monitor and brushed my finger against the comment from Clark that had appeared overnight. It was just a word, a simple name, but to me it meant everything. My heart thumped in my chest. I pushed myself away from my desk and paced the room. My cell phone rested on my dresser and I sprang for it. I punched in the area code to his phone number so hard, my phone took a few seconds to respond and pop the numbers up on the display. Even seeing those, I felt like all the distance—in both months and miles—between us had disappeared.

I jammed down another number, then stopped. A prickle started at the back of my neck. It wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him. After all, Finn/Clark/the-boy-I-lost vowed never to speak to me again. And I hadn’t even gotten to the part of my story that would explain my side of things to him.

A breath rattled out of my lungs as I held down the delete key, then dialed Lonnie’s number instead.

He answered on the fifth ring. “It’s the middle of the night, woman.” His voice sounded groggy.

“It’s eleven A.M.” I settled onto my bed. My light blue comforter rose up on either side of me, nestling me in a cocoon. “I thought you liked getting up early.”

“That was when I had band practice on weekends. Kind of hard to practice without a guitar.”

I bit my lip. “What about the one you’re renting from the school?”

“I only get access on days I have music elective.”

“Oh.” I pulled my knees close to my chest. “I hate to ask this, but—”

“It wasn’t me.” His voice came through loud and clear, no hint of sleepiness.

I shot up. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“My guess? Ali. That girl isn’t exactly subtle.”

An anvil tore through my chest. That wasn’t what I was going to ask, but now that he said it, it tasted like the truth. “Yeah. You’re right.” I knew the disappointment was evident in my voice. I turned the disappointment to hope, for his benefit. “You don’t think it was Denise, right?”

“I don’t know her well enough to answer that.”

I fingered the seam of my comforter. “You should correct that at once.”

A moment of silence passed before he sighed and said, “Have you checked the IP?”

“The what now?”

“It’ll let you see where the comment was posted from. If it’s from New York City, well, you’ll have your answer.”

I hopped off the bed and rushed to the computer. Even though all signs pointed to the IP coming from the Upper East Side where Ali lived, there was still an inkling of hope pulsing at the back of my brain that maybe it wouldn’t.

Lonnie walked me through quick instructions on how to log into the analytical software the school provided for students.

“How do you know how to do this?” I clicked through to another screen.

“I’m reading from the instructions on the school website.” He let out a laugh.

The results popped up. My heart picked up speed. “It says United States? Verizon Wireless?”

“Well, that narrows it down. Your commentor accessed your site from a cell phone. A cell phone they used in the U.S.”

I leaned back in my chair. “How helpful.” A lump formed in my throat. This didn’t change anything, I reminded myself. It wasn’t Finn. It was Ali. I would not allow myself to get excited over any further comments from that IP address.

“Here, I do know one thing that will help,” Lonnie said. I imagined him smiling on the other end in an attempt to cheer me up. The sound of typing came through the phone. “There.”

A new comment popped up on the blog.

Lonnie
said…

At least I don’t hide behind a fake identity like a real man. (Or in your case, a woman. Hi, Ali!)

I forced myself to laugh. “Thanks.”

“Least I could do.”

I shot upright. “Wait, there’s one thing you can do. Can you tell me if Lara’s reading this blog at all?”

“You need to look for an IP address coming from Brooklyn.”

I held my breath as I perused the list of hits. Wow, there were way more than I expected, most coming from New York City. Barely anyone commented, but clearly they were all reading. “The only one I see is from today.” I glanced at the clock. “Right now, actually.” I couldn’t hide the excitement coming from my voice. “Do you think she’s reading as we speak?” If she was, I’d try to bang out the rest of the story while I had her attention.

“That’s you, dumb ass.”

“Oh.” Which meant despite Ali’s email, Lara hadn’t bothered to look at it yet.