Judgement Day (4 page)

I started
developing my ideas, of course I didn’t really know anything about
physics, but that didn’t stop me from thinking that I did. I wrote
it all out, and I dropped it in all of the neighbour’s letter
boxes. I felt like Homer Simpson in the episode where he has the
crayon removed from his brain and he tells Flanders “while working
on my taxes I accidentally proved there’s no God,” and he’s putting
flyers around town. I felt like I had disproved the existence of
God, now that science could explain the origin of the universe,
there was no need for God
!
I also posted it to Stephen Hawking, I thought
“Stephen Hawking will love to hear about this,” and I eagerly
awaited his reply.

On Christmas
Eve after work, we had a bit of a Christmas party in the back dock
area. I explained my universe theory to everyone at work, and
because I knew there were some religious types there, when I
finished I said “that is the awesomeness of what God would be.”
It’s true, if there is a God, only creating a finite universe might
be impressive, but that wouldn’t make God the infinite Creator of
the Universe. An infinite Universe however, now that would be
impressive!

That was the
first time in my life that I had ever even acknowledged the
possibility of the existence of a God. When I got home that night I
passed out on the grass out the front of the house for a couple of
hours. I woke up in the morning, on Christmas Day 2001, two
thousand years after the celebrated birth of Jesus, covered in a
rash from head to toe. It was an allergic reaction that I had had
only twice previously in my life. I spent the whole day bright red
and itchy as hell, all the while thinking I was being punished for
discovering the infinite Universe, for trying to disprove the
existence of God. I felt like a freak, I thought
that
surely my family must realise what’s
happened to me. Here I was telling all of my relatives that I’ve
discovered the infinite Universe, and I was covered in a horrible
rash
, on Christmas Day!
I thought I looked ridiculous, I thought that they knew I was being
punished for my discovery.

The next day I
went to the hospital because I still had this rash, they gave me an
injection of antihistamine and it was gone in minutes. My theory
had the title ‘the super-universe and bigger-bang theory
,’
but I gave it a second title, ‘I
have found a God at the infinite centre of the Universe.’

We all celebrated New Years 1999/2000 as
the millennium, but if you want to get technical about it, the
millennium was actually Christmas Day 2001. That was the day
that I was born into my new
life. You could say that it was the day Jesus came back, if you
were inclined to think like that, but I wasn't alive 2000 years
ago. I was never crucified, I never died for anyone's sins, my name
is Michael Spears. I've had my own life to live, and I've got my
own story to tell.

On
New Years Eve
that year
, I went into Sydney with my mate
Davo for the night. I had described my universe theory as being
like a fireworks explosion where the spark at the end of each tail
explodes, and then the spark at the end of each of those tails
explode
etc, etc, etc...
Davo walked around with me, pointing at the fireworks in the sky
and telling people, “see that, that’s the universe
!
” We spent the whole night doing
that, I felt like we were blowing people’s minds! It was kind of
insane, but it was fun too, I was excited, I had just discovered
the infinite Universe!

I wrote my
‘super-universe and bigger bang theory’ in this style, wild,
excited, insane! Perhaps someone might have listened were I not
claiming to know all of the laws of physics, but then again,
probably not. A lot of time has passed since then, now we’re in
201
6, fifteen long years
later,
and I actually do know all of the laws of physics,
and still no one is listening.

It was after
Christmas that I began to notice strange things. It seemed like my
life had been pointing me towards this theory of the universe,
everything in my life had been leading me towards this discovery.
For example, I thought about my old gang Team Tron, and our
obsession with the 3D Simpsons episode where I got my theory of
gravity from, and I wondered if I ever would have had the idea had
I not been prompted by my sister Katie. I thought about my father
comparing me to Isaac Newton as a child and telling me that I’m the
third smartest man in the world. I thought about my lifelong
obsession with space,
probably
because of my father's early influence,
and I thought about
how I never would have discovered the infinite Universe had I not
studied chemical engineering. Because of chemical engineering I
knew the laws of the conservation of mass and energy, if I had
studied astrophysics I would have the same ideas as everyone else,
my mind was a blank canvas. I wrote a piece called ‘Do you believe
in fate?’ and I posted it alongside my universe theory all over the
university.

I also began
thinking about a Nostradamus prophecy

Century X Quatrain
72

In the year 1999 and
seven months,

From the sky will come
a great king of Terror,

He will resurrect the
great king of Angolmois,

Before and after Mars
rules happily.

I realised
this was a prophecy about September 11. The line “from the sky will
come a great king of Terror,” who could that possibly be but Osama
bin Laden and September 11
?
W
hat other “great king of Terror” has there been who came
“from the sky”? But the date was wrong, or so it seemed. Quatrain
72, seven in French (the original language) is sept, because of
course September used to be the seventh month, while two in Roman
numerals is II, so in the Quatrain number you have the date Sept
II. I played around with the 1999 and the seven months thing,
someone called Victor Baines on the internet told me that if you
reverse the numbers so you have 9111 it’s 9/11/1, but in hindsight
maybe I was just trying to find something that wasn’t there.
Solving this puzzle made me think that I was “the great king of
Angolmois,” it was like “Angel moi.” I was Michael, the great king
of the Angels! My mother is Rosemary, my middle name is David, I
have a birthmark on my thigh, my last name is Spears, like Britney
Spears!

The list went
on and on, pretty soon I was connecting everything on earth to be
about me, the whole world was talking about me! I knew ‘The Lord of
the Rings’ was going to be a big hit, I am obsessed with blowing
smoke rings, and the movies are called ‘The Two Towers’ and then
‘The Return of the King.’ Everyone who was famous seemed to be
called Michael, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Michael
Schumacher, Mickey Mouse! McDonald’s had posted giant M’s all over
the world! The millennium, it’s the millennium, like my favourite
TV show
Millennium
with
Lance Henriksen, and the year 2000 in Roman numerals was my old
initials, MM, like Eminem, or M&M’s! Or The Matrix, “I am the
one!” I was born in Australia, under the Southern Cross! “The whole
world
i
s talking about
me, and they d
o
n’t even
realise it! I am the Messiah!”

I decided to
call myself ‘Bruce the Philosopher,’ from a Monty Python sketch
about all of the great philosophers being Aussie beer drinkers. I
looked in my Monty Python diary for 2002, and ‘The Bruce’s
Philosophers Song’ was on the very first page, also Ken’s middle
name is Bruce and his dad’s name is Bruce, it was meant to be!

I also started
to believe that I had the power to send anyone I wanted to heaven
and hell. It was with this power that I was going to save the
world. I thought I could just show people all of my signs, show
them my universe theory, and they would believe I had these powers
and they would be good if I told them that I could send them to
heaven and hell. I wrote stuff about “I have created seven layers
of heaven and seven layers of hell
,
” I wanted to send everyone to heaven except for
Hitler and Osama bin Laden, Hitler was in the seventh layer of
hell, but Osama bin Laden was currently in the first layer. I was
writing about the temperatures of the different layers of hell, and
telling Osama bin Laden that the longer he takes to surrender the
further into the layers of hell he would descend. I thought that I
was here to save the world from terrorism and Osama bin Laden. I
also wrote about “seven rules by which to live,” which were my
version of the ten commandments, things like “do not kill,” “do not
rape,” “do not steal,” but the first rule was always “no one
touches Spears.”

I could feel
God’s presence surrounding me, I could feel lights shining down
from heaven upon me, I could feel myself being enveloped by a
bubble of protection. I wondered why I couldn’t perform any
miracles, but I could control who goes to heaven and who goes to
hell, and maybe that was all the power that I needed. Driving in my
car one night with my petrol gauge on empty, I felt the power of
God driving my car, I could feel the wheels turning with a
spiritual energy, and I would see my fuel gauge rise above empty.
This was my first miracle, or so I thought, I believed that I
didn’t need to put petrol in my car. After a while I thought “I’d
better put some in, just in case,” but I really believed that my
car was being powered by God. “Such a 21st century miracle,” I
thought, “how cool.” In my mind could see people rejoicing in
heaven, I could see Hitler burning in hell, I could see angels
singing my praises, the world would soon be at peace
! The Messiah was here!

Looking back
on it, it’s embarrassing. I’m ashamed to tell you these things. I
can’t believe the fucking crazy shit I was saying, and the crazy
shit I was thinking, but it was all a part of my evolution. This is
all a part of my story. Have you ever discovered the infinite
Universe? Have you ever found out that you’re the Messiah? That
you’re here to save the world? Seriously, it’s not easy. It
completely blew my mind.

I went around
telling everyone who I was, I told my family, I told my friends, I
told my workmates, I posted letters to the Pope, the White House
and the Pentagon, the Prime Minister, Stephen Hawking, I emailed
every newspaper and television station I could! “The Messiah is
here! I am the Messiah!” I would show everything I had written to
people, I would send them my theory of the universe, my rules about
heaven and hell, and a huge list of signs I had written
out
.
I think I had a
list of about 150 signs
,
all pointing to me being the Messiah, not many of them making as
much sense as I thought they did.

I was
expecting hordes of media to turn up at any time. My friends got
angry, mum was upset and Ken got really angry, but I didn’t
understand why. “They should be happy!” I thought. I was ecstatic,
I couldn’t believe how blessed I was to be chosen, “I’m the
Messiah! It’s the greatest thing to ever happen to anyone!”

These social
workers came around to talk to me, I showed them all of the stuff
I’d written. My theories of the universe, all of the signs about
me, my seven rules by which to live, the seven layers of heaven and
seven layers of hell, “see! I’m the Messiah!” Then mum drove me to
the hospital and I got locked up, I didn’t understand why no one
believed me. “What am I doing here? I’m the Messiah, can’t you see?
It’s so obvious!” That was when things got bad. I didn’t understand
why no one else could see what I could see, I could see my name
written all over the world, it was so clear, it was so obvious! The
world was shouting my name and my identity
!
I
thought anyone
could see that it was true, but
apparently not.
I was the only one
who could see it.

Things changed
when I was in the hospital, my happiness and excitement became
anger and confusion. It was torture, there’s no other word for it.
They were giving me some really heavy drugs. I was a mess, I was
totally fucked up. I still didn’t think anything was wrong with me,
and I didn’t know what I was doing in there. An ad was on TV a lot,
it was a ‘Lord of the Rings’ promotion where you could win a
replica of the ring, it kept saying “hurry, the chosen one must be
found soon,” and I would look at the nurses and point to the
television and try to show them that the world is looking for
me.

I spent the
first couple of weeks sitting on the couch trying to get the bad
thoughts out of my head. I called God “the thought police,” and I
believed that I had to instantly rid myself of all bad thoughts.
“Fuck God,” kept coming into my head, and I would clutch my head
and rock back and forth trying to stop myself from thinking such
things. It kept popping into my head “fuck God,” “fuck God.” I
needed to stop it, “why couldn’t I stop thinking ‘fuck God’? I
can’t have thoughts like this! God can hear everything I think!”
“What does God want from me?!” “Why me?!” I wanted to know, I never
even believed in God, “why did He have to pick on me?!” “I never
asked for this, and I’m not qualified for this
!
I’ve
never even been to church, or read the
Bible
!
”

My sister
Katie
gave
me a Bible to
read while I was in the hospital, so I started reading it from the
start, because I thought that was just how it worked. You read a
book from the start. Then someone in the hospital told me I should
read the Book of Revelations, because it’s all about Judgement Day
and the second coming of Christ. So I read the book of Revelations…
worst advice ever. If you haven’t read the Book of Revelations,
it’s a horrible book, filled with stuff about “seven plagues” and
“seven bowls full of God’s wrath.” “This is what God wants me to
do?” I thought, “destroy the world?” In the book of Revelations I
found both my name and a reference to the birthmark on my thigh. It
was the first time I had ever read a prophecy about myself, and it
freaked me out!