Authors: Kelly Varesio
Insperatus (50 page)
Chapter 76
Traith was cold. Everything around him was wet. He could feel the rusted shackles that restrained his wrists begin to make them raw. His powers were disabled. He couldn’t pull free, disappear, or hear his lover in his head.
Where was she?
He still couldn’t see, but the burning sensation of the poison had finally subsided.
He ignored the fear and pain. He had to ignore it. He was locked up across from his sister. He had to think about her. He was desperate to know what she was doing. She had to be watching him; she had to be. He heard her crying, still.
Was
she sincere?
Had
she finally abandoned the Mardinial Council? Did she actually want to reunite with him? It seemed too improbable. But Helena had threatened to kill her. Ana was his sister, for God’s sake.
Was
she sincere?
Had
she finally abandoned the Mardinial Council? Did she actually want to reunite with him? It seemed too improbable. But Helena had threatened to kill her. Ana was his sister, for God’s sake.
What she had done to him couldn’t rival what he had done to her. He wasn’t…that wasn’t him…but it was. No matter how he approached it, it was the vampire in him who had killed his parents, and he did so in front of her.
He shook his head and thought about the Mistress. She had said Ana was sincere. Or, that he should believe she was. But, then, what was he to say?
He said nothing at all.
Conversation seemed useless. She continued to cry quietly, probably at the sight of him. He didn’t know what else he could do when he heard her. The situation discomfited him.
“
T-Traith?”
T-Traith?”
His heart rose, but he made no answer. She was too excited with fear.
“
Traith,” she choked. “Forgive me. I thought…” she stopped, but he made no movement. “I thought you knew.”
Traith,” she choked. “Forgive me. I thought…” she stopped, but he made no movement. “I thought you knew.”
“
I do,” he whispered.
I do,” he whispered.
She broke down, almost hysterical. “No, no, please! Do not say it like that!”
“
Like what, Ana?”
Like what, Ana?”
“
They made you do it! Like they made Saria.”
They made you do it! Like they made Saria.”
Traith sat up abruptly. “They sent Rein’s best friend after her?”
“
When they tried programming Saria’s mind, I realized something was not right. Ever since Tanya died, I began to realize I had too many unanswerable questions; things were not as they seemed.”
When they tried programming Saria’s mind, I realized something was not right. Ever since Tanya died, I began to realize I had too many unanswerable questions; things were not as they seemed.”
“
Glad you understand that now,” he said.
Glad you understand that now,” he said.
“
Traith, I was lied to! I was told you were deceitful and—”
Traith, I was lied to! I was told you were deceitful and—”
“
And you believed a stranger, over me?”
And you believed a stranger, over me?”
“
They had me twisted,” she said. “I didn’t know who to believe, and they seemed to know…but I realized, also, that I could never hate you. I knew suddenly that they had lied to me about everything. I found out what they had done to you, and it was…horrific.”
They had me twisted,” she said. “I didn’t know who to believe, and they seemed to know…but I realized, also, that I could never hate you. I knew suddenly that they had lied to me about everything. I found out what they had done to you, and it was…horrific.”
“
You’re right.”
You’re right.”
“
But Traith, I
watched
you kill our parents! I couldn’t understand it! Though I heard you plead, how could you
not
have known? I just…I can see you there, Traith. I can see what you did!” She took a shaky breath and continued. “But you didn’t want to do it. I know it wasn’t your fault; I don’t blame you anymore. Helena told me things…She told me the truth about what she’d done to you. I had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to. They locked me up when they told me…when I figured it all out. I needed to find you because…I wanted my only brother’s protection. And his forgiveness.”
But Traith, I
watched
you kill our parents! I couldn’t understand it! Though I heard you plead, how could you
not
have known? I just…I can see you there, Traith. I can see what you did!” She took a shaky breath and continued. “But you didn’t want to do it. I know it wasn’t your fault; I don’t blame you anymore. Helena told me things…She told me the truth about what she’d done to you. I had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to. They locked me up when they told me…when I figured it all out. I needed to find you because…I wanted my only brother’s protection. And his forgiveness.”
“
My forgiveness?” He felt her eyes burning into his flesh as the silence stretched between them. “Ana, I can’t trust you,” he said hoarsely. “I’m afraid to.”
My forgiveness?” He felt her eyes burning into his flesh as the silence stretched between them. “Ana, I can’t trust you,” he said hoarsely. “I’m afraid to.”
“
I can rebuild what I’ve broken, Traith. I love you. I do! I can’t believe I…perhaps they did things to me as well! I don’t know how I could have done all those terrible things to you—awful things!” She pulled angrily the chains confining her. “Forgive me, Traith!
Acknowledge
me!”
I can rebuild what I’ve broken, Traith. I love you. I do! I can’t believe I…perhaps they did things to me as well! I don’t know how I could have done all those terrible things to you—awful things!” She pulled angrily the chains confining her. “Forgive me, Traith!
Acknowledge
me!”
He still didn’t move, despite her cries, his body tight, his eyes facing the
ground.
“
Acknowledge
me.”
“
I hear you, Ana.”
I hear you, Ana.”
She stopped struggling with her shackles and bawled hysterically, her words filled with true misery. “Traith, I don’t care about what you are anymore,” she said. “It means
nothing
to me now. Helena told me they tortured you! Victimized you! And I know the pain I’ve added. But what can I do? What can I do to even
begin
to mend things? Where can I start? To make you forgive me? I found out that you had forgotten—that you were deprived of your memories. I didn’t know.”
nothing
to me now. Helena told me they tortured you! Victimized you! And I know the pain I’ve added. But what can I do? What can I do to even
begin
to mend things? Where can I start? To make you forgive me? I found out that you had forgotten—that you were deprived of your memories. I didn’t know.”
“
I despise myself, Ana. I never
meant
to kill them! I loved them! I loved them so much. And the thought—the fresh picture keeps playing over and over and over in my head like live theater. It won’t go away, and it never will!”
I despise myself, Ana. I never
meant
to kill them! I loved them! I loved them so much. And the thought—the fresh picture keeps playing over and over and over in my head like live theater. It won’t go away, and it never will!”
“
I didn’t—”
I didn’t—”
“
I died once already, and somehow I am still here. That doesn’t even include my being bitten by your damned
leader
and being cursed for eternity! I don’t want you to be terrified of me, Ana, but I can’t fix it! I wanted to be normal. I tried for years to train myself to become accustomed to the light again; I tried to live without blood; I even tried to sleep at night, but none of it ever works. It just isn’t possible.”
I died once already, and somehow I am still here. That doesn’t even include my being bitten by your damned
leader
and being cursed for eternity! I don’t want you to be terrified of me, Ana, but I can’t fix it! I wanted to be normal. I tried for years to train myself to become accustomed to the light again; I tried to live without blood; I even tried to sleep at night, but none of it ever works. It just isn’t possible.”
“
You tried to kill yourself?” she whispered sadly.
You tried to kill yourself?” she whispered sadly.
He didn’t answer.
“
How many times?” Her voice was desperate to know.
How many times?” Her voice was desperate to know.
He sighed. “I attempted many times. But Mistress always stopped me. She made me live. And I don’t know whether I love her or hate her for that.”
“
Don’t ever
think
about trying that again—”
Don’t ever
think
about trying that again—”
“
Look, Ana.” He pulled the collar of his shirt down and revealed the two scars on his neck. “
She
did that to me. Helena. She’s why I’m like this! I was used, tortured unconditionally.” He pulled his collar back up. “I’m not right, yet—not since I regained my memory. I don’t know what to do.”
Look, Ana.” He pulled the collar of his shirt down and revealed the two scars on his neck. “
She
did that to me. Helena. She’s why I’m like this! I was used, tortured unconditionally.” He pulled his collar back up. “I’m not right, yet—not since I regained my memory. I don’t know what to do.”
He was calmer after a few minutes, but his body was still tense at the thought of what was going on outside the cell at the old Irish castle. His lover was fighting there. Alone. He tried not to think about his sister, but it was useless. She was right there staring at him with eyes he could not see. He didn’t know whether he would even be capable of seeing ever again.
She still watched him from across the cell, probably trying to come up with the right words to say to him. Even now, after repenting, telling him everything, he felt her lurking fear of him. All she had to do was look at him: his long, sharp teeth and pale skin. He looked so different than he had before. He thought of the mirror in the last cell he was in.
“
What did they do to you, Traith?” she asked quietly. “When they turned you? How bad was it?”
What did they do to you, Traith?” she asked quietly. “When they turned you? How bad was it?”
He did not reply for a moment. “They did everything imaginable, Ana.” His words hung in the air. “Everything.”
“
For how long?”
For how long?”
“
Until I escaped, hardly what I would call alive. I was found by Mistress, and seven years later you cursed me onto a ship for one hundred and ten years. And I can’t be angry at you for that because of what I’ve done.”
Until I escaped, hardly what I would call alive. I was found by Mistress, and seven years later you cursed me onto a ship for one hundred and ten years. And I can’t be angry at you for that because of what I’ve done.”
“
Oh Traith,” she answered, weeping. “I
want
to be able to fix what I’ve done. I mean…you look so dejected, Traith, and I—”
Oh Traith,” she answered, weeping. “I
want
to be able to fix what I’ve done. I mean…you look so dejected, Traith, and I—”
“
Are my eyes included in that one-word description?” He stopped and swallowed. “Damn it, I can’t
see
you, Ana!”
Are my eyes included in that one-word description?” He stopped and swallowed. “Damn it, I can’t
see
you, Ana!”
“
I know that I can fight my fear of you, Traith, but you must help me. If you were in my position, what would you have me do?
Please
help me see you again. The way you were. I want to
see
that you are still the same.”
I know that I can fight my fear of you, Traith, but you must help me. If you were in my position, what would you have me do?
Please
help me see you again. The way you were. I want to
see
that you are still the same.”
He didn’t answer her. He squinted as a sharp sting hit his eyes.
“
Do your eyes hurt?” she asked quietly, and he knew she had been watching him. “They look terribly—”
Do your eyes hurt?” she asked quietly, and he knew she had been watching him. “They look terribly—”
“
Just cut off the ‘y,’ and I’m sure you’d have it.”
Just cut off the ‘y,’ and I’m sure you’d have it.”
“
You can talk to me, Traith! You can trust me, now. I trust you!”
You can talk to me, Traith! You can trust me, now. I trust you!”
He grunted. “They’re beginning to ache. I can’t see at all, Ana.”
“
You can’t see anything? No vision has come back at all?”
You can’t see anything? No vision has come back at all?”
“
No. No vision has come back at all.” She said nothing, and Traith sensed her anxiety. He softened his voice. “I’m sorry; I just…I’m still constantly lost in thought about my childhood, Ana. Do you know that I forgot all that, too? Not only my crimes, but everything.”
No. No vision has come back at all.” She said nothing, and Traith sensed her anxiety. He softened his voice. “I’m sorry; I just…I’m still constantly lost in thought about my childhood, Ana. Do you know that I forgot all that, too? Not only my crimes, but everything.”
“
Look at me, Traith.”
Look at me, Traith.”
“
For what bloody purpose? Doesn’t matter where I look, it all looks the—”
For what bloody purpose? Doesn’t matter where I look, it all looks the—”
“
I want to see your face clearly. To see you, my brother.”
I want to see your face clearly. To see you, my brother.”
He considered her request. He wanted to see her so badly. To see how she looked now: if she was sad or angry or plain distraught. He wondered whether his eyes were seared, or if they were just clouded.
Slowly, he lifted his head and tried to steady his eyes, setting them forward as if he were looking at her.
“
Do I look like your brother, Ana?” he murmured sharply.
Do I look like your brother, Ana?” he murmured sharply.
“
Yes,” she replied with a trembling sigh. “What have they done to you?”
Yes,” she replied with a trembling sigh. “What have they done to you?”
He made no reply, and again there was silence.
“
Your eyes are merely clouded, Traith,” she began. “I…created that poison…”
Your eyes are merely clouded, Traith,” she began. “I…created that poison…”
“
Wonderful,” he said with a hollow chuckle. “So then get to the damn
point
and tell me if this is permanent!”
Wonderful,” he said with a hollow chuckle. “So then get to the damn
point
and tell me if this is permanent!”
“
I can’t believe they used it on you.”
I can’t believe they used it on you.”
“
Ana
—”
“
Your sight will come back, Traith.”
He didn’t like the way she said that.
“
When?” he asked anxiously.
When?” he asked anxiously.
When she didn’t immediately answer, his heart dropped.
“
I don’t know.”
I don’t know.”
He squeezed his eyes shut.
“
The shortest time I’ve seen it take to come back was…was a year.”
The shortest time I’ve seen it take to come back was…was a year.”
“
A year?” he asked desperately. “I’ll be blind for over a bloody
year
? What was the longest?”
A year?” he asked desperately. “I’ll be blind for over a bloody
year
? What was the longest?”
He heard her sniff. “Ten, give or take a little.”
He tugged at the shackles, curling in his tender, skinned wrists despondently. “Damn,” he rasped.
He thought of Rein. Would this change things? Would she still want there to be a wedding?
Would they even
make
it
to a wedding?
make
it
to a wedding?
Rein would have to pull through. She would have to find him—wherever the hell he was.
Chapter 77
She tasted it. The bitterness in the air. The bitterness of the rain mixing with her tears: a salty taste. But she tasted death, too. The dying cries and clashing of men above her in the castle was horrifying, not only to hear but to see. Death and murders were everywhere she turned. Even in her grasp.
She cried hard, but it made no difference. No one could hear her. She was alone. The rain drowned her out. Saria was dead on the ground in front of her, but before her death, Rein had learned the key to peace. The key to the end of this war.
Helena’s weakness
.
.
But Ana knew it, too. And if she was on their side, now, Helena had to know that the information would get out. Unless she had lied to Ana.
Mere moments had gone by since words had left Saria’s lips. And just like that, she was gone. By her own hand with a tree bough, she had slain the very person who was like a sister to her.
But she had to finish it. If they found Saria’s body, they could do it to her again. And she couldn’t be bitten a second time in order to be saved.
She held Saria, and in a moment, her body disintegrated to ash in her hands. The ash ran through her fingers and stained her palms, and it burned her even worse inside. But it was finished. Everything would be fixed if she just did what Saria had spoken to her. Wherever Traith was, he would be free if she found Helena and killed her.
But what if he was leverage? Helena knew things, just as the Mistress did.
Before he had vanished, Traith looked as if he were in excruciating pain. His eyes. He was screaming about his eyes. He could heal, but he didn’t. Perhaps he couldn’t. She had seen him holding his face.
Rein continued to try to reach him. Hear him. Feel him. Anything. But all she heard were the terrifying cries from above. All she felt was darkness and dampness.
The violent screams and noises going on in the castle above her were worsening.
Rein stood and squared her shoulders. She had to be ready to win a war.
But then she heard her name. She spun around, brushing pieces of stringy, wet hair out of her face. Her body tightened. Her eyes widened with disbelief. Her hands that had been clenched opened limply.
“
Oh my God,” she said to herself as she backed up a few feet.
Oh my God,” she said to herself as she backed up a few feet.
In the shadow of the moonlight, a small yet familiar face walked toward her, drenched by the rain.
“
How did you get here?” Rein asked hoarsely in a daze.
How did you get here?” Rein asked hoarsely in a daze.
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