Authors: Kelly Varesio
Insperatus (44 page)
He sighed in frustration. “You’re right.”
“
It is quite fine though. It makes you look stronger!”
It is quite fine though. It makes you look stronger!”
His eyebrows rose. He had to give a weak laugh. “I don’t exactly know about that, but I know that this one did hurt terribly.” He felt around the left side of his face once more. He met her eyes. “Are you sure you’re well enough to go home?” he asked.
“
Sans doute.
” She immediately quieted down when the woman left the room. “Traith,” she whispered, “who was that nurse?”
Sans doute.
” She immediately quieted down when the woman left the room. “Traith,” she whispered, “who was that nurse?”
He turned but the nurse had left already. “I don’t know, why?”
“
Because she was looking at you quite well, and rather examining—”
Because she was looking at you quite well, and rather examining—”
“
Taverin,” he cut her off immediately. He accidentally smiled at her as she laughed, and he noticed that her humor lifted his spirits a little more. Especially after hearing about a new, big scar down his face. “Don’t speak,” he said, half-smiling. “You’re all too bold.” He sighed. “So you said you can walk?”
Taverin,” he cut her off immediately. He accidentally smiled at her as she laughed, and he noticed that her humor lifted his spirits a little more. Especially after hearing about a new, big scar down his face. “Don’t speak,” he said, half-smiling. “You’re all too bold.” He sighed. “So you said you can walk?”
She laughed. “Yes, I can walk myself, do not worry.”
She followed him down the long infirmary corridors that led to the main lobby. She watched as he nodded to people down the hallway and shook hands with some of the men. He had to know them; he didn’t have a choice, being the Mistress’s First Hand.
About two wings away from the infirmary itself, they entered into a large domed room, which led into the grand foyer. There the Mistress stood, seeming as if she had been waiting for them all night.
“
You wanted to see us?” he asked her casually.
You wanted to see us?” he asked her casually.
“
So she lives, does she?” Mistress said with a smile.
So she lives, does she?” Mistress said with a smile.
He didn’t reply and put his head down.
She nearly frowned. “I see you like your privacy. Well, I thought that you might want to know that your sister is alive. She has fled to a nearby island along the coast of Ireland and is alone at this time.”
Traith’s stance straightened, and he smiled in relief. All that sand slipping through his fingers had managed to stop its landslide. Ana was alive, too.
“
Excuse me, M-Mistress?” Taverin asked shyly from beside Traith. “Do you know anything about Helena and the others?”
Excuse me, M-Mistress?” Taverin asked shyly from beside Traith. “Do you know anything about Helena and the others?”
Mistress smiled at the lack of enthusiasm in the young girl’s voice. “Taverin, do not worry yourself about something that cannot be prevented. Helena is immortal, so she has not died. We still do not know her weakness, as you do not know mine.” Mistress turned her gaze back on Traith, and he thought he could almost see her smiling. “Traith, you are lucky the fire didn’t harm you. It is odd that the thing you control can harm you so horribly.”
Traith let his stare fall back down, but he felt a smile rise on his face.
“
Although Ben still lives, with thanks to you, Tanya does not. This has bought us much time, as Helena is mourning over her own First Hand’s death. They will need time to replenish themselves, but they are not to be underestimated. Helena has many more followers, and she will convalesce quickly.”
Although Ben still lives, with thanks to you, Tanya does not. This has bought us much time, as Helena is mourning over her own First Hand’s death. They will need time to replenish themselves, but they are not to be underestimated. Helena has many more followers, and she will convalesce quickly.”
Taverin looked deeply pensive, and her eyes seemed sad. It was easy to tell that the trauma of the battle was still fresh in her mind.
“
Rein will be out soon, right?” Traith asked.
Rein will be out soon, right?” Traith asked.
“
Do not worry about her; you need to go rest at the castle.”
Do not worry about her; you need to go rest at the castle.”
“
But—”
But—”
“
Go to the manor, Traith.”
Go to the manor, Traith.”
He hesitated and felt a little stunned at her words. “You want me to just leave? Rein’s still here, and I plan on—”
“
No! You cannot wait for Rein. Let her alone; she’ll sleep for awhile. She’s weak. Give her some time.”
No! You cannot wait for Rein. Let her alone; she’ll sleep for awhile. She’s weak. Give her some time.”
He shut his mouth, glaring at his leader, but then he faded away into nothing, as did Taverin beside him.
He was terribly eager to talk more to Rein. He didn’t want to go home.
What few words she’d mentioned about Ana showed him that something had happened between them…and he had a feeling it was important.
Chapter 66
The cold wind was intense, blowing outside the window, and Rein could hear the faint sound of a raven call in the distance.
Rein jumped up out of her sleep, the sweat from her body soaking into her blanket. She was breathing heavily, and her hands were shaky. Traith jerked at her quick movement and looked at her, startled.
“
Rein?” he whispered, smiling, his white teeth actually fully showing. “Finally.”
Rein?” he whispered, smiling, his white teeth actually fully showing. “Finally.”
She looked around. She wasn’t in the council anymore. She was finally at home in their bedroom. Looking down at herself, she realized her clothes were torn and bloodstained, but despite it, she was comfortable and warm in the bed under silk blankets. She began thinking about everything that had happened to her.
“
Are you all right?” he asked.
Are you all right?” he asked.
She sat up, rubbing her eyes. “Yes, I…
wait
.” She looked toward the door, pulling out of Traith’s embrace. She suddenly threw off the silk covers.
wait
.” She looked toward the door, pulling out of Traith’s embrace. She suddenly threw off the silk covers.
“Wait for what?”
“N-No, something’s wrong. Terribly wrong. Taverin!”
As Rein tried to jump out of bed, he grabbed her dress, forcing her to stay in place. “No! No, it’s all right. She’s safe and sound. She’s in bed. No more injuries.”
Rein looked into Traith’s eyes.
He gently pulled her close and caressed her. “Look at your chest,” he said gently. “There’s a—
my
bloody hole there.” He sighed. “But it did stop bleeding.”
my
bloody hole there.” He sighed. “But it did stop bleeding.”
Her blood turned hot within her. She recalled Ana’s memories as she felt him embrace her.
“
God—Traith, I have to tell you something,” she said, her eyes suddenly tearing up.
God—Traith, I have to tell you something,” she said, her eyes suddenly tearing up.
“
Tell me what?”
Tell me what?”
“
I spoke to Ana.” A haunting feeling rose within her. “Before the fight.”
I spoke to Ana.” A haunting feeling rose within her. “Before the fight.”
“
What? What happened to her?”
What? What happened to her?”
“
I saw her mind, Traith. I know how she feels about you, and why she feels that way.”
I saw her mind, Traith. I know how she feels about you, and why she feels that way.”
“
How? What did she say?”
How? What did she say?”
“
She walked by when I was in the cell; I grabbed her, and she told me. Then somehow I received her thoughts, her memories—they were awful—more hostile than any I’ve ever seen!”
She walked by when I was in the cell; I grabbed her, and she told me. Then somehow I received her thoughts, her memories—they were awful—more hostile than any I’ve ever seen!”
Traith sat up, stiff, as he watched the tears fall down her face. He shook his head slowly; his red eyes were squinting and full of pain and fright like a small boy who wanted to fall apart. “What did she tell you?” He took a breath. “Oh Rein—it was about me, wasn’t it?”
“
Traith…” Rein almost burst but felt only tears falling. “Did you kill your parents?”
Traith…” Rein almost burst but felt only tears falling. “Did you kill your parents?”
Chapter 67
He got out of the bed and backed into the wall. Rein had just asked him the most unexplainable question: Had he killed—
murdered
—his own parents?
murdered
—his own parents?
He slid down the wall and shakily touched his forehead. The details of his past flooded back to him so abruptly; every hole filled. His head jerked a few times. He tried to answer her but couldn’t force anything out. There were no excuses. Rein looked into his eyes, reading his dreadful thoughts as he stammered.
He knew that nothing would be able to help him answer that question now. No one had known, ever, except his sister. The nightmarish memory had been lost in his mind for so many years. It was those sessions. Brainwashing sessions. Whips. Electrodes. Things mortals didn’t even know existed
.
Neither had he, until then.
He remembered.
The Mardinial Council. Hell itself.
.
Neither had he, until then.
He remembered.
The Mardinial Council. Hell itself.
Hell.
He remembered everything
.
.
He did; he brutally murdered them. A tormenting and bizarre flashback replayed in his head, over and over. He saw what he himself had done to his own parents, whom he had loved. He recalled exactly how he’d murdered them and Ana’s face during the process.
How had he forgotten?
He could now abruptly recollect his own metamorphosis and everything that happened before that. His childhood, his adolescence…
He remembered feeling Helena’s breath on his neck just before she bit him. He remembered his fright and naivety, the pain, and seeing himself in that old dungeon mirror. He remembered his heartbeat stopping, the guards, and the lantern…
It was all rushing back to him, as if he were reliving every moment.
Rein sat up tall and held her face. She was waiting for an answer. One he couldn’t grasp.
“
Oh, God. Oh God.” His voice was entirely hoarse. He clenched his teeth hard, fighting back tears.
Oh, God. Oh God.” His voice was entirely hoarse. He clenched his teeth hard, fighting back tears.
“
Traith, I just want an answer. I just…” Her soft voice faded in sorrow.
Traith, I just want an answer. I just…” Her soft voice faded in sorrow.
His head fell into his arms. “Rein, the Mardinial Council, they’re the ones who killed me, who turned me into this
creature
. Oh, I can remember everything! My entire memory is so clear now: the cell, the pain, and what I looked like as my reflection mutated. They programmed my mind, Rein; they bloody controlled it, and taught me to be the true
damned
soul that I am. They ordered me to kill them, and I didn’t want to! What was left of my human soul fought so hard to make me stop.” Traith looked up at her. “And right in front of my sister…God, how could I have forgotten something like that? I
did
kill them! I made them
suffer
—and then they made me forget!”
creature
. Oh, I can remember everything! My entire memory is so clear now: the cell, the pain, and what I looked like as my reflection mutated. They programmed my mind, Rein; they bloody controlled it, and taught me to be the true
damned
soul that I am. They ordered me to kill them, and I didn’t want to! What was left of my human soul fought so hard to make me stop.” Traith looked up at her. “And right in front of my sister…God, how could I have forgotten something like that? I
did
kill them! I made them
suffer
—and then they made me forget!”
Rein’s hands covered her eyes.
“
They
tortured
me, Rein,” he uttered shakily. “They tortured me. They gave me these scars. They did it with whips, wires…”
They
tortured
me, Rein,” he uttered shakily. “They tortured me. They gave me these scars. They did it with whips, wires…”
Rein held her mouth frantically. “Traith—”
“
Rein, they put me in
Hell
!” He held his head and cried out loud, remembering the torment, the agony. After a moment his thoughts, again, focused on his parents. “I can hear them! Oh dear God—How could they have taken all that away?
How could they have done that to me
?”
Rein, they put me in
Hell
!” He held his head and cried out loud, remembering the torment, the agony. After a moment his thoughts, again, focused on his parents. “I can hear them! Oh dear God—How could they have taken all that away?
How could they have done that to me
?”
“
Traith…oh, my love, I can see it.” Her tears were streaming, unchecked, down her cheeks.
Traith…oh, my love, I can see it.” Her tears were streaming, unchecked, down her cheeks.
She forced herself out of bed, ignoring the jabbing pain in her chest, to try and reach out to him, but he leapt up and turned a little, his hand out.
“
Get away; don’t touch me, Rein,” he cried.
Get away; don’t touch me, Rein,” he cried.
“
Why
?”
Why
?”
He was distraught. “I don’t want you to be scared of me, Rein, I—”
“
I’m not scared of you, Traith, I love you! You won’t—”
I’m not scared of you, Traith, I love you! You won’t—”
“
I’m a murderer! Rein, I’m dangerous! I just got done inhaling your blood and now—”
I’m a murderer! Rein, I’m dangerous! I just got done inhaling your blood and now—”
“
No,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to be near me, Traith.”
No,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to be near me, Traith.”
As soon as she tried to near him again, he vanished before her eyes.
Did he think he was doing this for her own good? He actually thought he was going to hurt her?
She stood still, leaning against the wall, her mind whirling. It felt like a lightning bolt piercing her every time she thought about what Ana had seen—how animalistic Traith had looked. It made sense that Ana was frightened of him; she would be scared of someone who did that to her parents as well; she would have the same animosity.
Rein was sobbing uncontrollably as she listened to his smothered cries and curses from beyond the wall. He’d only gone to the hallway. She held in her tears and breath and slowly walked over to the smashed door. She peered into the hallway.
He was on his knees, his fist leaning on the wall, clenching his teeth together. He turned and glanced at her, his eyes heavy with sorrow and anxiety. She approached and fell down beside him, wrapping her arms around him. He didn’t pull away as she thought he would, but he didn’t return her embrace, either.
“
Rein, please forgive me,” he stammered, looking into her eyes. “That wasn’t me.” She felt him slowly tighten around her as if he were going to fall. “The pain I remember…I feel so powerless. Ana has full bloody right to hate me! God,
God
, Rein, the image is imbedded in my head. I taunted them, and I hurt them before I killed them. They must have thought the same thing my sister does. She must think me a bloody terror to not have remembered…to
speak
to her as if I was untainted and flawless. They’ve been dead for so long, and I can’t fix it! I never knew what happened to them! She undoubtedly wanted to put me out of my misery, so I could die and be freed of this curse!”
Rein, please forgive me,” he stammered, looking into her eyes. “That wasn’t me.” She felt him slowly tighten around her as if he were going to fall. “The pain I remember…I feel so powerless. Ana has full bloody right to hate me! God,
God
, Rein, the image is imbedded in my head. I taunted them, and I hurt them before I killed them. They must have thought the same thing my sister does. She must think me a bloody terror to not have remembered…to
speak
to her as if I was untainted and flawless. They’ve been dead for so long, and I can’t fix it! I never knew what happened to them! She undoubtedly wanted to put me out of my misery, so I could die and be freed of this curse!”
“
You never said you were flawless, Traith,” she said, looking at him tenderly. “Even she knows that. She knows you’ve always struggled with yourself. You have absolutely nothing to be…” She stopped as he continued to crumble in her arms. “Traith, please, it’s all right…It’s all right…It’s over.”
You never said you were flawless, Traith,” she said, looking at him tenderly. “Even she knows that. She knows you’ve always struggled with yourself. You have absolutely nothing to be…” She stopped as he continued to crumble in her arms. “Traith, please, it’s all right…It’s all right…It’s over.”
“
It’s not
bloody over
, Rein!” He yanked away from her and that movement sent a jolt down her body from her wound. She gasped, grabbing her chest. His eyes widened.
It’s not
bloody over
, Rein!” He yanked away from her and that movement sent a jolt down her body from her wound. She gasped, grabbing her chest. His eyes widened.
But he was beyond any further apology. What would that do?
He raked his fingers through his hair, doubling over, reliving the pain of everything he had once numbly endured.
It was hard to speak. She knew the best thing was for him to calm down, but that would be hard. But he needed to. She needed to. They both needed to lie down and sort out their thoughts, put them in the past where they belonged, but it was complicated. Everything was so fresh. She had seen everything as he did. She couldn’t think that he would be capable of it all.
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