Illusions of Happiness (34 page)

His bank wasn’t the only one. Most small private banks had gone to the wall. Any still going were struggling, desperately calling in debt from those clients no longer able to settle them, companies were closing down, firms going to the wall, thousands were out of work, the unemployed in dole queues around the block with no other course to take.

Some, like his friend, were still buoyant, they with their property, family silver, land. He himself had very little left after settling such debts as he had accrued, wondering how long that would last. He had thought of contacting Madeleine at one time but had then thought better of it, her attitude towards him all those years ago still echoing. Over those years he’d tried to take up with one girl and another but nothing had lasted. Then he arrived home to find her letter sitting on the doormat – he had previously dismissed his staff before running off to Scotland.

At first he’d almost thrown the letter aside in a renewal of anger against her for having walked out on him – and now she needed him, she virtually wanted him to take her back. No, he’d told himself, he would not go and comfort her. She only had herself to blame. All the way here he had told himself that he no longer loved her. But that wasn’t true.

Now he stood in the hall while this woman called out to her employer. What would he to say to Madeleine when she responded, when they came face to face after all this time? Her letter had been so full of need. But face to face would their meeting develop into a full-scale row as it had done before? He should never have come here. He almost turned to go when he heard her voice. It sounded weak as if she were crying. It was coming from the closed door to the right of the hall.

Madeleine heard Mrs Crossland calling that someone was here to see her, and her relief almost overwhelmed her, making her feel suddenly faint, realizing how near she had come to ending her life. Her strength felt as if it were leaving her as, in a wave of dizziness, she let herself collapse on to the chair she’d only just dragged back from the centre of the room. She leaned forward, closing her eyes in an attempt to control the threatening weakness.

Someone was opening the door, coming into the room, moving towards her. Someone was kneeling at her side, taking her in his arms. She leaned in towards the, oh so solid form, the name forming in her head but not yet reaching her lips: ‘Ronnie . . .’

A voice whispered urgently against her ear. ‘Maddie, darling, what is it? What’s the matter? Are you ill?’

Not Ronnie’s voice, but Anthony’s. ‘I’m so sorry, my darling, I’ve only just seen your letter. I was away . . . only just got back . . . found your letter waiting for me . . . came as soon as I could. Darling . . .’

She was dreaming, hardly able to think, found herself clinging to the beloved form that at any minute would dissolve away into nothing. She didn’t want Ronnie. She wanted Anthony – more than she had ever done in her life.

The voice was still whispering urgently in her ear. ‘Maddie, darling, it’s Anthony. Forgive me, darling, I’ve been a fool. I want to marry you. I want us to have a family, settle down . . .’

There were other words too: ‘Maddie, listen to me. I’m done looking for a good time. I want to settle down . . . with you, if you’ll have me.’

She
was
dreaming, the voice continuing, ‘I’ve no money any more. The bank’s gone, but I can find a similar situation in some other bank which is still in business. There are still openings for people like me despite everything and we can start again, you and I. We can have that baby you so wanted. I want it as well. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I love you.’

The fainting feeling was receding; strength returning and with it an overwhelming need to cling to him even tighter. Without looking up, she whispered in reply, ‘I’ve missed you too – so much.’

Seconds later she raised her head to feel his lips on hers, no more words needing to be said.

She was broke. So was he. But they were together, she knew that now, and together they would forge ahead, start again. And this time they would be a family. She could hardly believe it and she clung to him as if he might float away. But he was real enough. And he was here, holding her to him, his lips on hers.

In the hallway, Mrs Crossland, having overheard the two people, paused by the open door as she made her way down to the kitchen and smiled to herself.

She felt in her bones that Madeleine had at last found the happiness she had been seeking for so long. She’d once heard her remark almost bitterly that happiness after all was very often no more than mere illusion. Well, perhaps not such an illusion as she had imagined.