Honest Love (14 page)

“You have to stop moaning while you’re eating those.”  I growled.

She laughed and wiped the juice off that had dripped down her chin.  “Is that right?”

“Uh huh.”

“But they’re just so damn good!  I can’t help it.”

We’d already eaten the hummus and I was nibbling on the chocolate lava cake.  “Want more wine?”

“Sure. 
This
has to be heaven.  I mean, wine, chocolate cake, strawberries and a sexy man all right here wrapped into one?  Has.  To.  Be.” 

I leaned closer to Claire right as she was putting another strawberry into her mouth and whispered, “Sexy, huh?”  I kissed the corner of her mouth, getting part of the berry on my lips.  She froze, mouth wide open, then smiled, pulled the fruit away and turned her head to give me a soft kiss.

“Yes,” she said against my lips.  “You know exactly how sexy you are, Derek London.”  Just at that moment Ed Sheeran’s song
Give Me Love
came on the stereo.  I raised an eyebrow and stared at my beautiful Claire.  “Appropriate song.”  She stared at me for a moment, then offered me her strawberry.  I opened my mouth to take it, but instead of putting it inside, she first traced my upper and lower lips with it before letting me take a bite.  She then leaned into me and lick the juice off.  “I believe you win the sexy contest, baby.”  No doubt. 

“You taste really good.”  I loved her sensuality, especially when she didn’t try to hide it.  I let her move closer to me as her kisses got harder, more purposeful.  She climbed to her knees and held my face in her hands.  I laid back on the king sized bed slowly, gripping Claire around the waist as she push her tongue in and search my mouth.  My hands roamed up and down Claire’s back and settled on her ass.  I squeezed hard causing a gasp, then a tiny grin.  She liked it, so I rubbed it with both hands, carefully exploring every inch.  When my fingers ran down the center, she stopped grinding against me and pulled back to look at me.  She didn’t say anything, just looked at my face for a few long seconds…studying me.

I rubbed my fingers down the middle of her ass again and she just smiled, raised one eyebrow then covered my mouth with hers.  I didn’t explore it any further.  I kept my hands firmly gripped to the rest of her ass. 

After several long minutes, I’d had enough of Claire being in control, so I abruptly flipped us over and I had her pinned to the bed, her arms above her head.  Her wide smile told me she was just fine with me taking control.  “
My
turn to torture
you
.”

“Okay.”  Claire wiggled her hips beneath me. 

I kissed across her neck and down behind her ear.  She tilted her head for me to have better access.  “Ahh, that feels good,” she whispered when I licked and kissed right behind her earlobe.

“Like that?”

“Uh huh.”

I kissed behind the opposite ear, then slowly slid my hands under her top and inched it up until I got it off her body.  I used one hand to hold her hands back in place over her head and used the other to grab a strawberry off of the food tray still sitting at my side.  She watched as I traced each nipple with the fruit, one at a time before I licked and sucked the juice away.  “Oh God, Derek.”

“I know.  Someday soon we are going to explore a bit more of this ‘fruit during sex’ thing.  But right now, I need you…need inside you.”

Claire wiggled her hips again.  “Take me.”

“Gladly.”  I slipped her shorts off and Claire lay naked waiting for me.  I worked my way out of my pajama pants and just before I buried myself in her folds, I asked again.  “Condom?”

“You’re starting to worry me.  Do you have some disease I need to know about?”

“Hell no!”

I didn’t say anything else.  I just took my cock and pushed in hard and deep.  “Yes,” slipped out of her mouth.  “So good.”

I didn’t rush anything.  I pulled in and out so slowly that Claire was grabbing my ass trying to get me to speed up.  “No, let me learn your body.  Slow, baby.”

She relaxed and let me make slow sweet love to her.  When she was on the brink of exploding, I picked up my pace and started thrusting into her, pounding out our releases.  “Come with me, Derek…please.” 

“Now, come now.”  I loved the feeling of my bare skin on hers, no barriers. 

“Oh God,” she screamed.  “Derek…shit, baby.  Don’t stop.”  I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. 

“Never,” and I meant it.  Without a doubt, I’d never give her up.  Not after our weekend.  Not after she’d called
me
baby for the first time and not after making me fall in love with her.

We fell asleep, wrapped up in each other, completely naked.  The food had gotten tossed off the bed during our love making, but I didn’t care.  Claire and I had made love.  Neither of us would say it out loud, but that’s exactly what it was.  And eventually, sometime really soon, I was going to tell her how much she meant to me.

Chapter 18

Claire

I looked at the alarm clock sitting next to the bed.
4:30am
 

Derek’s warm body was spooned behind mine, his big strong arms circled around me in a death grip.  We were still naked and I loved the feeling of him next to me.  I felt safe. Loved. 

I wanted to deny how much I cared about him, but couldn’t.  And there was no doubt what that was last night.  We’d made love.  It wasn’t just sex.  It wasn’t just two lonely people needing each other.  I knew it and I was sure he did too. 

I laid there, my mind going a hundred miles an hour.  I didn’t want to overthink things.  I just wanted to enjoy my time with Derek…however long that might be.  I wanted to see a future for us, but couldn’t…or didn’t, not that he’d asked or even mentioned anything.  But, I knew enough about myself to know I could easily fall hard for him.  Only I wasn’t who he needed.  Derek wanted kids, his own family.  I couldn’t give that to him.  So, if I wanted to spend more time with him, I’d have to find a way to distance myself, build a wall of sorts and still have fun.  It was selfish, but I didn’t want to give him up just yet. 

I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep.  It was the middle of the week, but I didn’t have to be at the clinic until tomorrow.  I was going to spend another day with Derek and that made me happy, really happy. 

I felt him stir and breathe out a heavy sigh at the back of my neck.  His arms tightened.  Peace draped over me and I found myself drifting back to sleep, a big smile on my face.

*****

Soft kisses across my shoulders and the feel of fingers tracing circles around my breasts woke me from a sound sleep.  “Mmm…” was the only sound I could make.

Derek didn’t say a word.  His hand moved south to my stomach, still softly touching.  I pushed back against him just a fraction and felt his taut body.  I moved my hand and placed it over his, then guided it downward to the wetness between my legs before letting it go.  I could’ve sworn I felt his mouth smile against my neck.  His fingers slid between my folds and slowly massaged my swollen clit and around my entrance.  “Here, beautiful?”  I nodded my head.  My body was too aroused for my head and mouth to allow any words to form.

Derek pushed one finger inside me and rubbed.  When my hips started to follow his rhythm, he pushed a second one in.  My breathing was getting faster…louder.  “Derek…”

“Shh…” He removed his hand and I started to turn in his arms, but he stopped me.  “No.”

I laid still for a second, waiting to see what he was going to do to me.  Didn’t take long to figure it out.  He reached between us and positioned his erection between my legs and thrust upward, right inside where I needed him.  “Oh.  God.”  Derek’s hand came back around to my clit and he pinched and rubbed it as he took me deep and slow from behind.  I loved the feeling…loved that he knew how to take care of me, of my body and I let him. 

I felt his pace quicken and knew he was close.  I was too, but didn’t say anything.  He grew harder inside me.  His breath was quick and heavy.  I reached down and let my hand join his as it worked my body.  “Claire…oh, God.  So.  Perfect.  And.  All.  Mine.”

That was all it took.  Hearing Derek call me
his
, even if it was in the throes of sex, sent my body over the edge and my fragile heart right along with it.  I was in big trouble.

*****

We showered, packed, had breakfast and headed back to the city.  We were both pretty quiet on the ride home.  I knew why I was, but didn’t have a clue about Derek.  Our fingers were intertwined and Derek’s thumb kept rubbing across my hand.  I finally squeezed to get his attention. 

“Thank you for all this.  I had an amazing time.”

“You’re welcome.  I did too.”  He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine, just like he had on our ride the day before.  “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’m supposed to have patients all day and plan to work pretty late to make up for missing today.”

“Okay, I’m probably not coming in for my appointment if you want to fill it.  I need to take care of a few things and go work at the station for a while.”

“Oh, okay, sure.  I’ll let Allison know.”  I tried not to sound disappointed. 

Derek looked at me and smiled.  “You gonna miss me?”

I huffed out a laugh.  “Nah, you’re sort of boring.”

A loud laugh roared out of Derek.  “You’re something else.”  He shook his head and kissed my hand again. 

“Back at ya.”  Our moods had lifted. 

“Can I take you to dinner after you’re off tomorrow?”
A date.

“I’d like that.”  As a matter of fact, I loved it.

“Good.  Let’s stop and grab a quick late lunch when we get back, then I’ll take you home.”  My smile fell and I looked out my window.  I guess I’d assumed we would spend the rest of the day together.  But then again, we’d never talked about that.  “Hey, are you okay?  You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

I looked at Derek and put on my best smile.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  Lunch sounds good.”

His brows furrowed, studying me for a second before he looked back at the road and I stared back outside. “You sure?”

“Yep.”

“You can talk to me, you know.  Is something bothering you?”  He didn’t see it, but I closed my eyes in a long blink and tried to compose myself.

“No, I’m good.  I’m enjoying the drive.”

“Okay, well, I also wanted to tell you that if your kids haven’t done it yet, maybe I…we could take them to Pacific Beach after they get back and let them learn how to build those incredible sand castles.  There is a local artist that runs year round lessons.”

Suck it up, Claire.  You’re being a fucking girl!  You knew it couldn’t last.  You just wanted it to last longer than a weekend.  I sat up straight and answered.  “That sounds nice.  No, they haven’t done that yet.  When we moved here at the end of the summer, we were too busy getting settled.  Thank you.  I think they’d love that.”

“When are they coming home?”

Home.  I almost huffed out the word.  “Right after New Year’s.”  One week…January 2nd to be specific.  But I didn’t tell Derek that.  I was missing them terribly right at that moment.  I needed my “new normal” back.  I was feeling extremely out of sorts sitting in the seat next to Derek.  I couldn’t explain it, but something was off.  He was rushing to get back.  Something had changed since that morning, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Maybe this was what dating was about now.  Fuck, I hoped not.

Derek didn’t ask any more questions.  As we got closer to the neighborhood, I said, “I think I want to skip lunch.  I’m not that hungry since I ate a ton at breakfast.  Mind just dropping me off?”

“What?”  He seemed shocked.  “You don’t want to grab something?”

“No, I think I’d rather go home.”  I smiled and wiggled my fingers to remove my hand from his, but he gripped it tighter.

“Why are you trying to take your hand back?  What’s up?”

“I just…we should…”  I shook my head, trying to clear it.  “I think I’m just worn out.  I’m ready to go home and take a nap, you know, rest up before work tomorrow.  I’m feeling overwhelmed thinking about my schedule.  It’s no big deal.”

Derek didn’t say anything for a minute.  He let go of my hand, then quietly said, “You’re lying, but I’m not going to push.  If you want to talk to me about anything, you can.  I want you to talk to me.  If you’re feeling weird or upset about us, I wish you’d tell me.  It’s okay to move on, Claire.  You deserve to be happy.”

I felt the tears form and turned away from Derek.  He didn’t
really
understand.  But he needed something, so I said, “I don’t feel weird about anything.  It’s just new.”  That was all I could give him.  I didn’t want to tell him that I was disappointed in not spending the day with him, that I hated we were only going to have one set of memories together, that I would miss him more than I ever thought I would or that my heart felt like it was breaking…again.

“You sure that’s it?”

“Yes, Derek.”  We turned onto my street and I sucked in a big breath preparing myself.  When he parked in my drive, I reached for the door handle, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

“Hey, slow down.”  I just smiled.  “I’ll open the door for you.”  He climbed out of the driver’s seat, shut the door and walked slowly around the front of the car to the passenger side.  I noticed his knee was pretty stiff.  All our ‘activities’ in the hotel room were probably painful for him.  He opened my door and said, “Now.  See?  I like opening the door for you.  Okay?”

I picked up my purse and stood up out of the car.  “Yes, thank you.  It’s nice.  Is your knee okay?  Looks like your movement is pretty stiff.  I think you should try to make it to your appointment tomorrow and Friday.” 

Derek snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me tight to his chest.  “It’s just a little sore…totally worth it, though.”  He kissed me and I melted into him.  “Don’t you think?”

“Yes.”  It was perfect.  He stared at me, searching my face, then let go and grabbed my bag.  I started walking to my front door with Derek right behind me.  Just as I put the key in the door, I turned to face him and put my hand on his chest.  “Thank you again.  I had the most incredible time with you.  Just what I needed.”