His Love Shattered (Love Shattered #2) (5 page)

My sister just gave birth to my first niece. I just became an auntie. I have wanted that forever. If I left I wouldn’t be able to have that anymore. Is it selfish of me to want to stay now even after I know the truth of what Dave has been through? Everything Dave sacrificed for us?

Do I let Dave leave never to be heard from again and move on with my life like I was before he suddenly popped back up out of nowhere? Go back to living like he never came back in the first place? I have to believe that I would have never even seen him again had I not been on that island that night.

Then there is Dexter.

Even though I don’t even remember him at all he is going to play a part in my decision too. I can’t deny the electricity between us and once I remember him again
because I know I will
will I be able to walk away from him? If the love we share is as strong as Lillian and Dexter say, I am not sure I would be able to leave him behind.

This is going to be one tough decision. He expects me to make a major decision like this in two weeks? He has lost his damn mind.

I need to talk to my family about this. Looks like a family meeting is in order.

I call up my mom and ask her to find someone to watch the kids and have the rest of the family come up to the hospital. After I talk with all of them maybe I will have a clear mind and I can make a decision.

I can trust my family not to say anything to anyone or else I wouldn’t even bring this up to them at all. After all if I decided that I was going to leave, I would tell them all what was going on anyway. I wouldn’t leave my whole family to think we had all died or that we just dropped off the face of the earth. I can trust them and they mean too much to me to do that to them.

Dexter

It has been four long days since I left Courtney and I haven’t heard a word from her either. I have talked to Lillian several times though. She filled me in on a family meeting that they all had that has left me unsettled. I can’t believe Dave or whoever he was now would try and pull this on my girl. I bet that asshole never intended on trying to come back for her and now that he sees there is someone else in the picture he is trying to take back what was his. Too bad for him she isn’t his anymore.

I know Courtney will make the right decision for her family. I just hope that ends up working out in my favor. I just want her to do whatever makes her happy though and if that includes me being left with a shattered heart then that is just something I am going to have to learn to deal with. If that was me in Dave’s position and I knew all the risks involved here I would have just called an ambulance that night of the boat accident, made sure she was safe, and then left like I had never been there. Instead he put her and the family in danger by sticking around.

I have wanted to call Courtney every single day but Lillian told me to give her some time and try not to confuse her. Lillian said that Courtney is coming home today so that is some good news at least. Becky and Sarah will be staying with Courtney since Julie has been staying at Lillian’s helping out with the new baby. Luckily they have a big family and are so close to each other. They are always willing to help each other out when they need it.

Since I have been back we have had to put filming on hold because most of the scenes are outdoor scenes and go fucking figure it’s been raining the whole damn time. Not just a small drizzle either. Nah it’s a down right torrential non fucking stop down pour. Four whole days twiddling my thumbs waiting for the weather to clear.

Four more days I could have spent with Courtney.

Looks like I am going to be stuck in Alabama longer than I thought and that pisses me off even more because how am I supposed to function knowing that Courtney is getting out of the hospital. I want to be with her while she is dealing with this tough decision she has to make. I want to be there for her. If I knew for sure this rain wasn’t going to stop the second I try and leave town, I would be on the next damn plane to North Carolina.

Rob asked me to go to dinner tonight at our favorite Italian restaurant so I decided instead of sitting around with my thumb stuck up my ass I would get out for a while.

I could use some comfort food and what’s better than Italian? I head into the restaurant and I notice it’s unusually busy for a Monday night. Someone must have gotten wind that we would be here tonight. That doesn’t seem to be a problem because the hostess tells me Rob is already here and she leads me back to the table where Rob is already waiting. Only Rob is not waiting alone. Seems my good buddy has brought us a couple dates to dinner tonight. Normally I would be grateful to Rob for this. Tonight not so much.

What the Fuck.

As I arrive to the table, Rob introduces me to the girl by his side whose name is Michelle. Then he introduces me to her friend, the girl sitting in the chair beside the only empty chair left, presumably my chair. My “date” for the night’s name is Jennifer. Hope she doesn’t expect too much out of me because even if Courtney doesn’t remember me right now, she is still mine and I am going to be faithful to her.

Before I sit down I ask Rob if I can have a word with him in private. He pushes his chair back and stands.

“Please excuse us ladies,” Rob tells them and they both giggle. I roll my eyes. Yep these two are your typical actor stalkers as I like to call them. Tall, tanned, all legs and fake blonde hair. We see the type all the time in our profession. They only want one thing…. To say they got to sleep with someone famous. I used to be into that but that shit gets old after a while. That is not who I am anymore.

Rob and I head down the long hallway and stop just before we reach where the bathrooms are. When we are out of ear shot I lay into Rob.

“What the hell do you think you are doing bringing chicks to dinner man?” I whisper hiss at him.

“Dude. Chill out. I just thought maybe you could use a distraction. You are wound so tight after everything with Courtney. I figured you would want to take the edge off before we start filming again.”

“Seriously you thought I would want to just “take the edge off” you are terribly mistaken. I. Love. Courtney. Why the fuck would you think I would want to dip my dick into some actor stalker when I have finally found the real thing?” I cross my arms over my chest and stand tall and intimidating.

“Well Courtney doesn’t even remember you man. What if she never remembers you? You just gonna sit around and pine away for some chick that doesn’t know who you are? A chick who has a husband that she does remember that is trying to get her to run away with him into the sunset and never look back. Fuck dude use your head.” He points to his temple with his pointer and middle finger jabbing at it twice to drive his point home.

“I guess that’s where we are different people man. I am not going to do anything that could jeopardize what I have with Courtney. I thought you and Lillian were together too. So I am sorry if I am shocked to see you here with a chick hanging off your arm. Rob, you are my best friend man but sometimes you don’t use your fucking head. I am outta here man.” With that I turned and stormed out of the restaurant not even glancing back at Rob. Fuck him.

I need to see Courtney so bad right now but since that can’t happen I go ahead and break down and call her. She should be settled in at home by now and I need to hear her voice. I can’t wait another minute. So going against Lillian’s wishes to give Courtney her space, I dial her number and to my surprise she answers on the first ring.

“Hey Dexter. I was just sitting here thinking about giving you a call myself. You must have read my mind.” The instant I hear her voice all the rage inside of me subsides.

“Hey sweetheart. I just needed to hear your voice I miss you so bad I couldn’t go another second without calling you.” I sigh.

“Is it weird that I miss you too?” She chuckles, “I don’t understand how I can miss someone I don’t even know so severely but apparently my soul misses you even if my mind can’t quite comprehend that.” Hearing that she misses me brings a smile to my face.

“I think you are exactly right baby. Your mind might not understand but your heart never forgets.” I say softly.

“You sound upset Dexter is everything okay?”

“Yea baby I am fine. I did want to tell you something though because I will always be truthful with you. I want you to know that.”

“Okay Dexter you can tell me anything.”

“Well tonight Rob asked me to dinner and when I arrived he had two girls with him. He thought I might wanna… you know… have sex with one of them to relieve some stress. Boy did that backfire on his ass because all I did was chew his ass out and leave.” I laughed and she laughed too.

“You didn’t have to leave on my account Dexter. You could have at least stayed and had dinner. If you say you didn’t do anything I trust you.” She paused and laughed again. ”I guess I trust you anyway, at least I feel like I should. I thought Rob and Lillian were like together though. I am a little surprised to hear he was with another girl and trying to get you to also. I don’t know Rob though so that may just be the type of guy he is.”

“It’s good to hear you laugh Courtney. I am not sure what is up with Rob lately. I think he is just confused. Enough about all that though. How are you feeling? Is it good to be home?”

“It is wonderful to be back home and I am feeling pretty good actually. My back is just a little sore. They said it was just a lot of bruising and was strained a bit but other than that I am feeling good. The stitches itch like a bitch on my back though. It will be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight for sure. The hospital beds aren’t worth a shit to sleep on. I just have to go back to my regular doctor Friday for a follow up and to get the stitches out.”

She continues talking, telling me all about the last few days in the hospital and what she plans on doing now that she is home. She tells me the kids are coming home tomorrow and I can tell by the sound of her voice how much she misses them and how excited she is to see them. I just love hearing her voice. I tell her all about how I didn’t want to leave her and how we haven’t even been able to film because of the weather.

The conversation flows easily and before I know it an hour has passed and I am still sitting in my car in front of my house. It is getting late and I know she is probably getting tired so I reluctantly tell her that I needed to go and tend to a few things before heading to bed.

“It was really nice talking to you Dexter. I hope that you can begin filming again tomorrow.” She says.

“I hope so too because the sooner we can get everything wrapped up, the sooner I will be able to see you again. Sweet dreams baby girl. I love you” I tell her.

“Good night Dexter.” She hangs up and it doesn’t slip by me that she didn’t say I love you back. Yeah it hurts a little but that is okay.

I head to bed and attempt to get a good night sleep. Before my head hits the pillow I send up a silent prayer that tomorrow it is not raining and we can get this filming done.

When I wake up the next morning the birds are singing and I can hear Cooper the rooster barking. That is his way of cockadoodling each morning. I actually laugh out loud thinking back to when Courtney told me she was scared of roosters. Poor Coop didn’t stand a chance at first but my girl finally came around and gave him a chance. They will be best friends before too long.

The sun is shining on this fine Tuesday morning and I have a permanent smile on my face. I shower, get dressed, and head out to where we will be shooting the scenes today.

Once I get through make up and run through my lines a few times I am ready to start filming.

The morning flies by and I get most of my final scenes done. I just have a few more to do in the next couple of days at different outdoor locations. Then Rob and I have some scenes that we have to shoot together. I know I need to talk to him and clear the air so that there isn’t any awkwardness during filming, but that is going to have to wait a few days for my temper towards him to calm down some.

If everything goes as planned I can be heading back to North Carolina in the next few days or so. I am hoping I can catch a flight this coming Saturday or Sunday.

I can’t wait to get back to my girl.

Courtney

After talking to Dexter last night I did some catching up with my sisters, Becky and Sarah. It was nice to get to hear what has been going on with them lately. I know I am not as close to them as I am to Lillian, but I love them just as much and it is great to hang out and do sisterly type things again. It’s just like when we were growing up.

We catch up on their love life and who they are dating. They tell me a little bit more about my relationship with Dexter. I admit to them how weird it feels for everyone else to know how much you are in love with someone when you don’t even know it for yourself.

I really needed that girl time last night after the family meeting I called the other day. Of course my family doesn’t want me to leave. They would miss me as much as I would miss them. They also think it would not be the safest route to go with Dave but they could see where I was coming from on why I would want to go. The only reason I would say yes would be for the kids’ sake. They deserve a father and knowing theirs is alive and well, it just makes sense to go with Dave.

My family also says they will support whatever I decide.

Needless to say it’s been five days today that I have had to think about it and I have yet to come up with a decision.

I head into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and head back into the living room to do some reading. This is my favorite room in the house. It’s decorated in a beach theme with a coral and teal paint scheme. I have collections of shells, sand dollars, shark teeth and starfish scattered around on the walls in shadow boxes. The outside of my fire place is made up of tiny baby shells that I have collected and my mom and I spent hours upon hours gluing on by hand. I sit down in my chair by the window and pick up my kindle.

When I turn it on I have several books that I have apparently read already. I just don’t remember reading them. I search through trying to find a book to read but I can’t settle on one because I don’t want to start reading one I have already read. So instead I reach behind the chair to find my kindle charger so I can plug it up since I have decided not to read. While I am reaching behind the chair my hand comes across a cool smooth object.

Out of curiosity I grasp it in my hand and bring it up to see what it is.

I am surprised to see that it is a shell. It must have gotten knocked back here by one of the kids. I do not remember finding this particular shell on any of my trips. I would remember a shell like this one. It is beautiful. I am not quite sure what it is. It fits in the palm of my hand, its creamy white and it has brownish orange spots all over it. Flipping the shell between my two hands I get a strange tingling in my spine and I am jolted with a memory.

Dexter walking up behind me resting his chin on my shoulder. He starts explaining to me about the shell.

“Ahh I see you have found a Junonia Shell. That is one of my favorites to find here. That’s a pretty good size one too. Lucky find in deed.” I peer up at Dexter and with his chin still resting on my shoulder. I only had to go about one more inch and my lips would meet his.

“Yeah I was wondering what this was. I was going to look it up when I got back to the hotel later but it seems I have my very own shell encyclopedia on hand here. I have never found one of these in North Carolina. It’s beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you are.” Dexter turned me around in his arms and grabbed my face with both hands and slowly he leaned down and kissed my lips. The kiss was different than any kiss I had ever felt. It was deeper. The whole time he kissed me he rubbed the nape of my neck. He deepened the kiss running his tongue across my lips and I opened up and let him in. He tasted of coffee and mint. Suddenly remembering where we were I took a step back looking around nervously to see if anyone was paying any attention to us.

“Wow that was some kiss. I don’t think I have ever felt anything like that before by just kissing.”

After that memory came to me I was hit with an onslaught of other memories of Dexter and I. Watching the show
By the Light of the Moon
and deciding to take Lillian on a road trip for her birthday to meet the cast. Meeting Dexter and Rob at the park after Rob kicked the soccer ball and hit Lillian. I knew there was something about that Rob guy I didn’t like.

Having dinner at a really delicious Italian restaurant. Going to a bonfire and the beach. Dexter fixing dinner for us. Meeting his pet rooster Cooper. I still can’t believe he has a pet rooster.

After all of the memories have entered my mind I gasp in a deep breath of air and pull my hands that are still holding the shell to my chest and start to cry. I cannot believe I would have forgotten about him. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He has been there for me in the past couple months more than anyone I could remember. I have come to the realization that I do love him more than I have ever loved any one in my life. We haven’t known each other long but I am madly and deeply in love with Dexter Sonners. My Dex.

I couldn’t wait to tell someone so I called Dex but he didn’t pick up. I left him a message.

“Hey Dex. Its Courtney, I was calling to tell you some good news. Give me a call back when you get this. Talk to you later.” He could probably tell by the excitement in my voice why I was calling.

He was probably in the middle of filming and wouldn’t be returning my call any time soon, so I decide to take a little nap before my mom arrives with the kids this afternoon.

When I wake up from my nap I notice I have a missed call from Dexter. Just as I am about to call him back I hear a car pull up into the drive way. I look out the window to see my mom and dad getting out of the car. Once they open the back passenger doors my kids pile out one at a time. God I have missed them terribly.

I walk over to the front door and head outside to greet them on the porch. Jason reaches me first and gives me a gentle hug. He probably knows most of what went on. He is twelve after all and he doesn’t miss much. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and tells me he is glad that I am okay and hearing him sound so grown up brings tears to my eyes.

Next up comes Caleb and I bend down to give him a hug. He wraps his arms around my neck and starts to cry. Mumbling on and on about how he was so scared that he was going to lose me too. By now I have tears streaking down my cheeks and I do my best to reassure him that I am going to be just fine and I am not going anywhere.

My little Miley bee toddles up the steps and I squat down to my knees so I am on her level. She has no clue what’s going on but she sees my tear stained face and she asks me what is wrong in the sweetest toddler voice I have ever heard. I tell her that I just missed her so much and I am just so happy to see her. I am crying happy tears. That seems to satisfy her because a moment later and she is already inside with her toys strewn out across the floor.

“Hey Mom. Hey Dad. Thanks for bringing the kids home and thank you so much for taking care of them and making sure they get where they needed to be. I know it couldn’t have been easy with two of your own children in the hospital. I really appreciate everything you have done for us.” I tell my parents. I really don’t know what I would do without them. They are always there when I need a helping hand.

“You are very much welcome dear. The kids have been wonderful. We love to have them over whenever we get the opportunity. Are you sure you are up for having them home already? We can keep them a few more nights if you’d like.” My mother asks.

“I am sure mom. We will be fine and Jason is always a big help if I happen to need anything. I may need you to watch them in a few more days though. Today I got my memories back. All of them of Dexter and everything. I wanna fly out Saturday morning to Alabama to surprise him. I was going to go ahead and tell him over the phone but I think I would rather tell him in person. I can’t believe I forgot about someone so special to me. So if you could watch the kids Friday I am going to head home after my appointment and get some rest and head to Alabama on the first available flight Saturday.”

I was bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet the whole time I was telling them my plans. Excitement radiating off of me in waves.

I wish I could go to him sooner than that but I really don’t want to miss my appointment to get these stitches out so Saturday will have to do.

My parents agree that this is a wonderful idea. They both love Dexter and they are happy to watch the kids for me. I have the best parents in the world. They stay for a little while to make sure everyone is settled in and by dinner time I am starving. I order some pizzas just so I don’t have to cook.

I told Becky and Sarah that they didn’t need to worry about coming back tonight that we would be fine. They insisted on at least coming over to have some pizza with us so I agreed. The more the merrier.

We played some board games and about ten rounds of
Uno
before everyone started trickling off to bed.

When the kids went to sleep I stayed up a little while longer and shared a bottle of wine or two with Becky and Sarah. I told them about my plans to surprise Dexter. They insisted on tagging along with me to my doctor appointment Friday so we could grab lunch and do some shopping. They insisted I needed some new clothes to wear to surprise my man. We decided we would invite Lillian as well and we could all have a girl’s day and go get manicures and pedicures too.

I couldn’t wait. Some time with my sisters before I left sounded like a lot of fun. The four of us could get into some trouble when we are all out shopping together. I felt sorry for anyone working in any stores that we entered.

After Becky and Sarah left I texted Dexter and climbed into bed.

Me: Hey Dex. I am sorry I didn’t call you back earlier. My parents showed up with the kids and we have all been going nonstop all afternoon and evening. I will call you tomorrow I am headed to bed. I am exhausted. Night

To my surprise he didn’t respond to my text or call me back. I won’t deny I was a little sad that I didn’t get to speak with him before I went to sleep. I would be seeing him in a few days though so it was all good.

I realized for the first time that day that I have not thought about Dave at all. I know I still had to make a decision on whether or not I was going to go with him or stay in town but I feel like I deserved a few days to enjoy myself before I made a life altering decision like that. I also feel like I need to see Dexter and talk to him before I make up my mind.

I snuggled up in my blankets. My pillow still has a lingering scent of Dexter on it and that helps me drift off into a peaceful sleep.

The next few days fly by and before I know it Friday has finally arrived. We all meet at Lillian’s house where my mom will be watching all of her grandkids while all the siblings have a day out.

We head to my appointment first. That was quick and painless and I was happy to have the itchy stitches removed. After the doctor examined me I was good to go with a clean bill of health.

Since our mall was no longer standing thanks to the tornado, we had to head a couple towns over. It took about an hour and fifteen minutes to get to our destination. We shopped until our car was loaded with bags and we couldn’t fit anything else in the back. We barely had room for ourselves we had done so much shopping. Becky and Sarah had to climb in to the back seat and Lillian and I had to stuff bags all around them. It was the only way to fit everything in. When you looked into the back seat you couldn’t even see them. If anyone saw us coming down the road they wouldn’t even know we had back seat passengers. It was hilarious and we laughed about it all the way to lunch.

It was a pain getting in and out of the car the rest of the day. We kept having to unload and reload the bags whenever we stopped.

We grabbed a late lunch and then headed to the spa for the manicures and pedicures. I also decided to get my hair cut and some highlights added. When my hair is cut, colored, and styled I stand up to head over to where my sisters are at.

Becky lets out a wolf whistle from where she is sitting getting her toes painted. Everyone turns to stare at me and my face turns beet red.

“Woo hoo sexy mama. She is getting hot for her man. Go get ‘em tiger. Rawwwr” Lillian cups her hands around her mouth and shouts. For crying out loud she just had to add the roar at the end. Give me a break.

Sarah gives me a sympathetic shrug.

I swear these two were always the instigators where Sarah and I always kept to ourselves. Lillian and Becky liked to embarrass the shit out of us whenever they got the chance.

I took a look in the mirror and had to admit to myself that I did look damn good. The highlights in my hair made my eyes pop and the cut framed my face nicely.

After our time at the spa we headed home so I could get some sleep. I had a great day with my sisters. I think we should definitely do that more often. See these are the types of things I would be missing out on if I went with Dave. I wouldn’t have this type of relationships with my sisters anymore. Hell I wouldn’t have any relationship with them at all.

Oh well, I will think about all that later. I had a flight leaving at six in the morning taking me to Alabama, Maybe I can find some answers as to what to do there.

I couldn’t wait to get to Dexter. I just hope he was going to be as happy to see me as I am to see him.