His Absolute Authority: A Scandalous Billionaire Love Story (Jessika, #3) (20 page)

Not that, um... we needed it... we were already rather spice-inclined most of the time.  I squirmed at the thought.  Briefly, I wondered if masturbating while waiting for self-tanner to set into my skin would cause any issues.  Yes, possibly, which was sad, but lots of things were more sad and this was a stupid thing to be sad about, so I cut myself off before I started.

That was about it.  The tanner needed to stay on my skin longer than the hair die.  I waited for it to dry somewhat, then pulled off my shower cap.  I fetched my scissors and went into the bathroom.

I didn't know if I needed to do this part.  It was an initial step in my plan, but it pained me in some ways.  I loved my hair.  It wasn't anything extremely special, but it was mine, you know?  It took awhile to grow it like this!  And...

I just did it.  I stopped thinking, and did it.  I pulled away a bunch of my newly dyed hair and snipped a third of it off.  The hair fell away in my hand, loose and lost.  I threw it into the bathroom trashcan.

And I couldn't just leave my hair like that, now could I?  One snip deserved another.  I took up another fistful, pulled it away from my head, and cut.  I threw that away, and cut more.  More.  Again.  Snip snip snip.

By the time I was done, I thought I looked a lot different.  It was kind of strange, actually.  Hair cropped short near my shoulders, having changed from blonde to a medium, darker brown.  My skin was tanning, too.  It felt kind of odd seeing myself like this for the first time.  I knew it was me, and the more I looked in the mirror the more I recognized small parts of me, but the more I looked the more I didn't recognize some parts, either.

Hmm...

I did a little minor adjusting, fixing the tips of my hair to try and make them look slightly more professional.  I didn't do a bad job by any means, but it was kind of difficult cutting your own hair sometimes.  Different perspectives and angles and all of that.  It looked good, though.  Maybe not the height of fashion and perfection, but I wasn't trying to be that, so it worked fine.

Slowly, I stumbled back into the main area of the bedroom suite.  I stared at the final two boxes.  I could use one.  It would work.  Why did I get two?  I didn't know.  I had no idea.  It was stupid.  It was...

Before I could convince myself otherwise, I ripped open one of the boxes and grabbed the little stick inside it.  I scurried back to the bathroom.

***

I
stared at the pregnancy test, confused.  Was this correct?  No, it couldn't be.  Um... what was wrong with it, then?  Did tanning lotion get on it?  Or hair dye?  Would that skew the results?  Maybe I was reading it wrong?

I checked again, making sure I had the specifics correct.  Yes, a little plus sign meant that the test was positive.  A positive pregnancy test meant...

I was pregnant.

Maybe.

It might be wrong.  How was I pregnant?  I wasn't pregnant last month, was I?  I remembered having my period, or I thought I did, but... it was really light, now that I thought about it?  Was that possible, then?

No.  That's not how this worked.  If I had my period, then I couldn't be pregnant, because, um... well, that was the entire point of a period.  If I didn't have my period, possibly, except I'd had it, so...

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone and dialed a number.  A woman picked up almost immediately.  This was another of the strange perks of being married to Asher; I didn't need to go through reception to get into immediate contact with my doctor.

"Jessika," she said.  "Hi.  How are you?"

"I'm fine, Elizabeth.  Um... I just had a strange question for you.  Are you busy?"

"I'm on my lunch break if you don't mind me eating while we talk."

"No, of course not.  That's fine.  It's quick, anyways.  Sorry to interrupt your lunch.  It's probably nothing..."

She laughed.  "I'm usually the one telling people that.  Most of my patients are trying to convince me there's something wrong with them."

I giggled, nervous.  "Yes, um... if there's something wrong with me, it might be a good thing in this case?"

She paused over the phone, silently curious.  "Oh?"

"I..."  Maybe I should hang up?  Sorry!  Wrong number.  I didn't mean to call you.  I...  "This is going to sound strange, but I just took a pregnancy test, and it says I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations!" Elizabeth said, words muffled by a mouthful of food.  "You must be pregnant, then.  I don't understand what the question is, though?"

"I don't know how I could be pregnant," I said.  "How is that possible?"

"Well," she said.  "When a man and a woman fall in love, they..."

I laughed, loud, far too amused by that.

"In all seriousness, why don't you think you're pregnant?  Generally speaking, pregnancy tests are fairly accurate.  There could be a misread, but unless you did something extremely wrong, it should be correct.  I can do a test for you here if you'd like.  That'd be a good idea, too.  At least to confirm.  We've been waiting for this, right?  We'll need to talk about vitamins and other precautions.  It's good to get these things planned in the early stages, so there's no time to waste.  I can make an appointment for you next week if you'd like?"

"Yes," I said.  "That'd be great.  But, um... the thing is, I had my period last month, so I don't understand how I could be pregnant now."

"Ah," she said.  "I understand."

"So I must not be, right?" I asked.

"No," she said.  "That's not true.  It's probably not true, actually.  It's not uncommon for a woman to experience light bleeding occasionally—especially initially—during pregnancy.  It can occur at around the same time as your usual period, as well.  Let me guess?  It was a lighter bleeding?  Perhaps two days?  Maybe three?"

I nodded.  "Yes.  Not exactly regular, but it was lighter.  I think it was three days.  Maybe not exactly three, but about that."

"That sounds about right then.  Like I said, it's not uncommon.  It wasn't your period, but something else.  Some say it's from the egg transplanting itself into the womb causing minor bleeding in the process, but there are a few reasons it could occur.  It's not a bad thing, though.  There's nothing wrong with you or your baby.  It's a natural occurrence.  It happens in about one-third of woman, so you don't need to worry about a thing."

"So..."  I trailed off.  This was new and different and I wanted to be excited, but I felt kind of blank right about now.

"Congratulations!" she said for the second time.  "You and Asher are having a baby.  Have you told him yet?  This is exciting."

***

I
sat on a towel on the bed in the train's bedroom suite, staring at my phone, dazed and confused.  After talking with Elizabeth, I wasn't sure what to do.  Should I call Asher and tell him immediately, or...?

It didn't seem right, though.  I knew he would want to know.  In fact, I thought he'd be ecstatic to find out.  Despite the turmoil of the past few days, we'd been trying to spend some of it with each other, to make sure we'd have a baby, and now it was kind of like instant gratification in a way?  Except, not really.  We'd been trying to have a baby for months and months before this.  Nothing about it was instant, not even close.

I wanted to tell someone, but I couldn't bring myself to move.  I kept sitting there, staring, lost in thought and emotion.  The self-tanning lotion I applied earlier was all but dry now.  It needed a few hours to develop more, but I could, and should, put my clothes back on now.  The train began passing less rural areas, too.  Every so often, a house popped into view.  We'd probably be at our destination soon enough.

I had tickets to continue on, if I wanted, but...

No.  I didn't want to.  When I first stepped foot onto the train, it seemed like a relaxing sort of adventure.  It was that, too.  I needed to change some of myself during the journey, but I didn't really mind that.  It was fun in its own way.  A change of pace, you know?  Now, though... now was different.

I folded up my discarded outfit and stuffed it into my bag, then found the clothes Jeremy bought me.  Nothing altogether amazing, but it would definitely work.  He bought me a dark green pair of sweatpants or yoga pants or whatever they were?  They didn't look exactly like yoga pants, but they weren't as loose as regular sweat pants.  On the right hip area was the emblem of one of the local college sports teams.  I had a matching, loose-fitting t-shirt to go along with it.

I thought that was it, and I was about to put them on, but something else fluttered out of the clothing bag.  I bent down to pick it up, thinking it was a receipt or just some random extra piece of paper?  It was kind of a strange color for that, though.  Lighter green, almost matching the other clothes.  Um... was this what I thought it was?

I held it between two fingers—index and thumb—staring at the flimsy little thing.  It was underwear; or I guess that's what you'd call it?  I mean, it was.  Yes.  Panties, sort of.  Kind of?

It was the flimsiest g-string I'd ever seen.  Mostly string and air and nothing, except for a patch of cloth in the front.  On the patch, portrayed proudly, was the same emblem that emblazoned the right hip of my new pants and the front of my new t-shirt.

Huh.

I didn't know if I wanted to wear this.  I laughed at the idea.  I couldn't even begin to imagine what the store clerk must have thought while ringing up Jeremy's purchase.  Maybe they thought he was a pervert.  I kind of thought he was a pervert, too!  Really, now?  A g-string?  Um...

I decided to wear it.  It wasn't like I'd never worn one before.  Sometimes, depending on what else you were wearing, you didn't want panty lines, right?  The sweatpants were kind of tighter, too.  Maybe this was one of those times?

Or... I had other reasons, actually.  Deviously delicious ones.  They were good.  I dressed fast, finishing my transformation from Jessika Landseer, wife to billionaire CEO Asher Landseer, into a darker haired, tanner skinned, college student-dressed, average looking woman.  I thought I was kind of average looking to begin with, though I was sure Asher would object if I said that.

I didn't think average was a bad thing, though.  I never really wanted to be more than that.  I just wanted to be myself, you know?  Whatever and whoever I was, as long as I was happy with myself, I was fine with that.

Yes, maybe there were a few problems surrounding my life lately, but... well, I was happy.  Once I finished getting dressed, I smoothed down my shirt with my hands, lingering slightly on my stomach.

I smiled.

Yes, I was definitely happy.

***

T
he train pulled into the station.  The rhythmic sound of wheels rolling along the track slowed to a stop, replaced by the quiet creak of pent up excitement bouncing through the room and the corridor just outside.  In my mind, the train almost seemed like a living thing, like it wanted to move, to speed forward, onwards and into the horizon, hating every moment it needed to stay in one place.  I envied it in some ways.  The idea sounded wonderful.  I didn't know if I wanted to move forever, but I liked the idea of constant, continued freedom.

I packed all my things into the bag Jeremy bought me and hefted it up, carrying it at my side.  Before I left, I made sure that everything looked mostly clean and nice again in the bathroom.  I turned up the bed, too, changing it back into a seating arrangement instead of a sleeping one.  The room wasn't perfect, not by any means, but it looked clean enough.  You could tell someone had been there, but you wouldn't think they'd been rude and left a mess.  I placed a twenty dollar bill on the seat and took a deep breath, then stepped out of the room.

Now for the moment of truth...

I walked towards the nearest exit door.  A few other people joined me in my escape.  We walked slowly, some with shaky legs.  That was one of the interesting parts about train travel, I thought.  In a car or a plane, you couldn't really move around much, but in a train, you were mostly free to move about as you wished.  It took a little getting used to sometimes, but it wasn't too bad.  Kind of like a boat, almost.  When you stopped, though, you had to get used to moving regularly again.

It was just a little different.  Something strange and inconsequential.  I hadn't walked about as much as others might have, but it still took me a little while to grow accustomed to it again.  For some reason, it made me feel fresh and invigorated, though.  I felt like everything was new, and a lot more new things were waiting for me in the near-future, too.

Soon enough, I arrived at the door leading outside.  One of the train attendants smiled and said goodbye to everyone.  I didn't recognize her, but she smiled at me, too.

"Thank you for traveling with us," she said.  "I hope you had a great trip.  Enjoy your destination."  I thought I saw a glimmer in her eye, something strange and recognizable, but it passed as soon as it appeared.

Nervous, I stepped out into the open air.  I didn't know what exactly I expected, but it didn't happen.  Maybe there would be news crews waiting for me?  Would they recognize me?  If anyone looked close, I probably still looked mostly the same.  It was the subtle things that made a difference, though.  If they wanted to find me, they'd be looking for a lighter skinned blonde woman in dressier clothes.  Anyone looking for the old me would likely pass right over the me they saw right now without a second glance.

That was the hope, anyways.  I didn't know if it'd work.

No one paid attention to me, though.  I stepped further into the train station, heading towards the front desk and lobby area.  Like the station I'd just come from a few hours earlier, this one was more open and isolated.  The stop was in a small town hours away from any big city, mostly filled with quiet locals or seasonal tourists.

Maybe Asher and I should come here sometime, I thought.  Would he like that?  It wasn't exactly the height of high society or anything, but I liked the looks of it.  Hurrying, I went out the front door of the train station and stepped onto the sidewalk on what looked to be a main street.  The only way I knew this was because a street sign on a telephone pole nearby clearly said "Main St."  It didn't look like much, but every other street that intersected it looked like even less of whatever "much" should look like, so... I guess that was that.