Her Lord and Protector (formerly titled On Silent Wings) (7 page)

Nothing.

His feet slowed
of their own accord when he drew closer to Katherine’s bedchamber. He could
almost hear the nightmarish screams tearing from the room as they had on a
night like this a year ago.

His mouth dry,
he stopped at her door. Going in here now, at night, was much worse than it had
been in broad daylight when he’d inspected the room for her arrival.

But he must find
her, and he forced his legs to move. He opened the door, trudged in like a man
ascending the gallows, and set his candle on the writing table next to a brown
leather journal.

He envisioned
Mary crouched on the floor, her wrists bruised from the ropes that had bound
her to the bed. He’d hated to restrain her like this, but it was the only way.
Except this time, someone had let her loose.

He drew in
breath between clenched teeth as her shrill voice filled his head.

You killed them,
didn
’
t
you. Didn
’
t you! But I won
’
t let you murder this one. Do you hear
me? I hate you, Alexander! I detest you for what you did to my babes
!

“No,” Alex
whispered, lowering his head and bringing his fists to his temples. “I would
never hurt my children.”

Swallowing hard,
he brought himself back to the present. He ran unwilling eyes over the
seemingly empty room and saw the curtain move on a current of air.

Like the gaping
mouth of hell, the window was wide open.

He felt the
blood drain from his face. “No. Not again. Please.” His muscles seized and he
ran on stiff legs to the window. It took everything he had to peer out to the
darkened ground.

Soldiers of His
Majesty’s Guard milled about below, talking, removing gear from their horses,
and ambling to the lofts in the barn.

No shouts of
alarm. No blood-pooled body lay shattered on the cobbled drive or earth packed
yard.

Alex sucked in
forgotten breath.

Then, he looked
more closely at the men. Had one of them enticed her to go outside? Would she be
so foolish? He turned to race for the door. Grabbing the candle, he glanced
down at the open pages of her journal. And froze.

I need to leave
this place. He does not want me here. He holds something against me. Perhaps he
is embarrassed to be seen with me, as was Ellis.

He will find
someone to marry me, but I wish to marry someone I can love. Someone who will
treat me well
.

Alex stared at
her words in apprehension. She had left him, at night, because of his treatment
of her.

Then, his eye
caught a thin yellow light along the floor. The closet. He set down the candle,
dashed across the room, and whipped open the door.

There she lay
near the back, crumpled on her side with her legs drawn up to her chest. With a
harsh cry, Alex went to her and dropped to his knees. He lifted her hand and
saw her raw and bleeding fingers. Gently he touched her warm cheek.

“My God, what
happened to you?” he whispered.

To his right, he
caught a glimpse of black hair. Mary stared at him from her portrait a few feet
away, her pale face shimmering in the light of the flickering candles on the
closet shelf. He looked into the startled vacancy of her eyes and felt the
familiar hopelessness of saving her.

Gathering
Katherine in his arms, he lifted and carried her toward the bed. Her face
turned toward his chest and her loose hair swung over his arm. Her breasts
moved softly beneath the lace of her white nightdress.

The feel of her
warm, supple body through the gauzy material roused a sudden passion and
tenderness within Alex that he had thought quite dead. Unwilling to let her go,
he stood cradling her to him.

She was hurt and
in a faint. But he couldn’t stop his body’s craving for her, couldn’t stop
himself from lowering his head and touching her soft lips with his.

She sighed and stirred,
and then opened eyes cloudy with confusion. Slowly she raised one injured hand
and caressed his cheek with her palm.

Oh, but to have
her awake and doing this! He stayed perfectly still, waiting, willing his heart
to slow its relentless hammering.

She sighed again
and lowered her hand. He moved forward and lay her on her bed, and then held
the candle near her hands to inspect them. Her nails were intact, thank God.
The small splinters beneath them could be removed, and her fingertips would
heal.

As he pulled the
counterpane over her, his fingers unintentionally brushed over her breasts. He
couldn’t stifle the guttural moan that emitted from deep within his chest.

“Katherine.” His
throat felt full of grit that made his voice rough and unsteady.

He watched her
eyes flutter, then open fully and focus on him. Distress tightened her features.
She scooted away and seized the counterpane to pull it to her neck. Gasping,
her face contorting in pain, she glanced at her wounded fingers and then darted
confused, frightened eyes at him.

Alex stepped
back and raised his hands. “All is well, my lady. Do not be alarmed. You fell
while in your closet.”

She looked
toward the closet. Shame filled her face. She lowered her head but continued to
gaze at him with wide eyes. Wisps of her hair floated over her cheek and he
wanted to brush them away with the gentleness of a lover.

“No need for
embarrassment. Perhaps you were overtired and went in there by mistake.”
Feeling powerless to help her, Alex glanced around for her slate, and saw it on
her chest of drawers. “Would you like to write? If you can?”

She shook her
head.

He considered
pressing her for information. It could wait until morning. With great effort,
he shook off his desire and cloaked himself with habitual indifference. “Good
night, then. I will tell the others you’ve been found, and send Millie to
bandage your fingers. And someone will come in the morning to look at the
closet door. The handle is old. Perhaps it became stuck.”

Alex stepped
over to the window to shut it. “I do not know if anyone informed you,” he
couldn’t help but add, “but I do not allow the windows in this house to show.”
He jerked the curtain into place. “Ever.”

Even with her
narrowed look of annoyance she was stunning, lying there with her hair flowing
over the pillow and the lace of her nightclothes caressing her breasts with
each breath she took. The memory of her firm warm body in his arms made him
remain, unmoving, until she looked pointedly at the door.

“Yes.
Goodnight.” He left the room and strode down the corridor with his hands balled
into tight fists. He must be hard, unbreakable. No emotion.

He would
absolutely begin sending word tomorrow that there was a marriageable woman of
nobility under his guardianship.

The pulsating
pain in her fingers woke Katherine, and the feminine snore resounding from one
corner made her sit up hurriedly. She slipped out of bed, crossed the floor,
and moved the drapes with her thumbs just far enough to see Millie asleep in a
chair with her ample chin resting upon her chest.

The maid
puckered her brow and smacked her lips. “Toll ye t’fetch th’ blasted hot water,”
she mumbled.

Katherine turned
back toward the window and blinked at the sunlight that soaked into her face
like a welcome poultice. The incident of the night before seemed now only a
dream, but her throbbing fingertips confirmed that it wasn’t. How shameful that
Lord Drayton had found her in a faint in her closet. Her misfortune would only
quicken his removal of her.

She examined her
hands, wrapped in cloth to anchor the pad of cotton wadding at the ends of each
of her fingers. Communicating through written words would be difficult until
her fingertips ceased their throbbing ache.

In the meantime,
golden shafts breaking through the clouds bathed the green hills outside her
window. The bright, open space pulled at her spirit. She would never grow used
to this dark, depressing castle, her somber room, the portrait of the wretched
woman in the closet.

One hour later,
Millie helped Katherine into a blue skirt and then laced it at the back. She
waited while Katherine eased her hands through the sleeves of a loose jacket,
and then she fastened the tiny pearl buttons up the front. “Poor lady,” she
cooed. “Stuck in yer closet. Wish I’d stayed in here at bedtime. It’s me own
fault, y’know.” She stared ruefully at Katherine’s hands.

Katherine shook
her head and patted Millie lightly on her plump shoulder, then stepped into
heeled leather shoes. Her fear of small spaces was her own foolishness and
nothing more.

“Lady Drayton,
she never wanted me in here,” Millie continued as she folded Katherine’s
nightclothes. “Specially when Lady Agnes came over t’help her. They would
whisper and laugh, and I think there was drinkin’ goin’ on. I found empty brandy
goblets.” She turned to Katherine. “So I didn’t know if ye wanted me t’stay
with ye or not. I told Lord Drayton as much, but I fear he’ll put me out because
of what happened to ye.”

He would do no
such thing. Katherine watched Millie, shoulders slumping, put her nightclothes
into the cabinet. She must let him know right away that the maid was not at
fault for what happened. Taking a deep breath, she walked to the door.

Her remaining
days in Lord Drayton’s home simply could not be as dreadful as these first few.

She gestured for
her slate, and Millie picked it up. No matter that she wouldn’t be able to use
it until her fingers healed, the slate had become such a part of Katherine that
she couldn’t bring herself to leave it behind.

Nearing the
stairs, she heard heavy footsteps. At the sight of Lord Drayton below on the
first landing, Katherine wasn’t sure whether the sudden fluttering in her
stomach meant hunger or anxiety. She strongly suspected the latter and paused
at the wooden balustrade overlooking the stairs to watch him complete his ascent.

Dark blond curls
peeked through the loosened laces of his brown linen shirt. Wetting her dry
lips, she forced herself to meet the inquiring gaze that heightened the tremor
in her gut.

He glanced down
at her hands. “Good morning. I trust the remainder of your night passed without
incident?”

Was there the
slightest mockery in his expression? Not to be intimidated by his sarcasm, she
held her head high and gave him a proud nod.

“Good.”

Now he would
declare his intentions of sending her away. She steadied her gaze with his and
waited while her insides fluttered like a frenzy of wings.

His voice was
flat and unapologetic. “I read your journal last night. I respect your desire
to leave here and plan to act on it as soon as possible.” His lips curved up,
but his eyes showed no amusement. “And your desire to marry someone whom you
can
love
, as you put it, is absurd. Love is a useless waste of time. Do
not look for me to bring around a parade of eligible men and wait for you to
fall in love with one of them.”

Katherine’s
mouth moved to speak, and she felt the color rushing to her face. Gads, but it
would take too long and cause too much pain to write the hot retort that should
pour forth from her lips.

“Did you love your
betrothed? Ellis Potts?” he asked unexpectedly.

Ellis? Of
course. Hadn’t she? She nodded.

The cynical
twist of Lord Drayton’s mouth took her aback. “There you have it. Look where it
got you. He threw you away like so much garbage.” He began to turn away with a
disgusted shake of his head. “Do not look for love in marriage either,
Katherine. I can tell you that it doesn’t exist.”

Katherine threw
up her hands in vexation. She glared at him and tried to will away her tears of
frustration.

He didn’t
understand. She wanted sanctuary, that was all. A life with someone who would accept
her for who she was.

Lonely despair
spilled through her.

He glanced back
as he walked away, and stopped. The sarcasm on his face altered to genuine
puzzlement. “Tears? Why? Do you truly think you will find what you are looking
for?”

She brushed by
him and headed for the stairs. Explaining herself to this bitter man wasn’t
worth the pain in her fingers.

“Do not go
downstairs. I will have a servant bring you breakfast.”

Resenting the
authoritative tone of his voice, she stopped and whirled to face him with her
hands on her hips, but lowered them at the resulting sharp twinge.

“Soldiers are
coming into the house for the morning meal,” he said. “’Tis a large group, and
some are unruly. ’Twould be best for you to stay out of sight until they’re
gone. Elizabeth is in her bedchamber. Perhaps you would like to join her.”

Katherine almost
refused out of defiance, but common sense told her he was right. She shrugged
and looked at Millie.

“I will take ye
there, m’lady,” Millie said.