Heartsville 03 - Another Shot (J.H. Knight) (8 page)

It didn’t matter really. Whatever Brad was so stressed about probably had little to do with Aaron. If the guy was married, so what? That was between Brad and his spouse. Positive? Well, they’d been safe, used condoms. Nothing broke, no heat of the moment bullshit to have to deal with. The almost–blow job was pretty low on the risk-factor chart.

Brad stood still and looked at Aaron, his expression pleading, maybe a little broken. “I need to tell you something. Or… explain. Hell, I never….”

Aaron could feel his brow furrow. He wanted to reach a hand out to Brad, comfort him, but it seemed oddly inappropriate. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

He didn’t expect a disgusted laugh in response. Brad shook his head, though, and his expression lightened slightly. “Maybe you’re right, I don’t know. It’s been a long time.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out an oversized envelope. “Here,” he said, as if he couldn’t find any other words.

Aaron was afraid to take it at first, though he couldn’t guess why. The edges of the envelope were faded, as if it had been stuck in a drawer for a long time, forgotten somewhere, pushed aside.

He pulled the flap back and tugged at the edge of what seemed to be a photo inside. Yes. A black-and-white photo of… Aaron kissing his boyfriend his sophomore year. Confusion, mingled with an odd sense of fear—not to mention distrust and embarrassment—all rose to the surface at the same time, and all Aaron could do was stand there. His feet felt like cement, holding him in place as his skin nettled with heat, a sharp counterpoint to the cold air sliding its icy fingers into his lungs. “Where did you get this?” he asked, barely managing the words.

“I took it. I mean, the photo. Back in high school. That was me who snapped the shot.”

What was the etiquette for this situation? Aaron stared at the photo, unable to look at Brad. So many times he’d thought about what he might say if he ever met his bully, the guy who outed him and ruined several months of his life. The guy responsible for his crooked nose, who made Aaron nervous when he walked down a dark street, even now, even in Heartsville. All Aaron could do was gape at the damn photo that was already burned into his memory. And then, suddenly, a short burst of near-hysterical laughter. “I… I mean, I
really
didn’t see this coming. Not just, like, not from
you
, but in general. Never in a million years.” He didn’t mean for his voice to sound so bitter, but he couldn’t help the tone.

“I bet,” Brad said, running his hand through his dark hair again. “I just… I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I… I didn’t even put it together, never knew your name when we were kids, and you look
so
different now…. Then when I saw your old yearbooks, it just clicked and—”

Aaron was nodding, probably so much that he looked like a bobblehead. He really just wanted this conversation to end, wanted Brad to stop talking because whatever his goal was, Brad’s explanations weren’t helping much. “Right, yeah,” he said, cutting Brad off before he could say anything else. “Whatever. I mean, it was a long time ago, right? It’s done.”

“I know, but—”

“No, seriously, Brad. We were kids, right? Everyone does something shitty when they’re a kid.” His words might have sounded forgiving, but they weren’t, not really. As he passed the photo back to Brad, he said, “I mean, I never exposed someone to prejudice and humiliation—
violence
—but whatever, right? It’s over.”

“I know it was a long time ago, but…. Just lemme explain, okay?”

With a shrug, Aaron said, “Nothing to explain.” He turned for the back door, went to reach for it, and paused. “You know we had to move? After two beatings, my dad was afraid I’d end up in the hospital—or worse—so he uprooted us and moved us here.” Aaron let out another sharp laugh as he pulled the door open. “Maybe I should thank you? I do love it here.”

Brad stepped closer and reached out for him, stopped Aaron from walking away, the touch tentative. “Aaron, I really like you. I’m
so
sorry.”

“Yeah? I liked you too.” He couldn’t look into Brad’s brown eyes, couldn’t find it in himself to listen to anything else he had to say. “I need to get back to work. I’ll see ya around.”

He left Brad standing in the dirty alley, looking defeated, maybe even heartbroken.

How was it that Aaron felt like the bad guy in this scenario?

Chapter Ten

It took Aaron most of the evening, but by the time he was sitting on the couch with Mephistopheles on his lap he could almost laugh about the entire situation. Leave it to him to get hung up on some asshole he went to high school with.

Only, Brad hadn’t seemed like an asshole, right?

It had been a long, weird day, and Aaron was ready to recharge. He reached for his remote and clicked on the TV just as his phone buzzed with a text notice.

Brad.

Would you meet me somewhere so I can explain?

Aaron didn’t respond—didn’t know
how
to respond—and instead stared at it for a long moment. He added
Kill Mandy
to his to-do list. This was all her fault, really.

Before he could decide what to say to Brad or even decide if he wanted to delete the text and forget about it, his phone rang.

For one second, his heart was in his throat, panic rising in him, hot and prickly under his skin. Then he looked at the screen and saw Mandy’s picture.

Aaron didn’t bother with anything as simple as
hello
. “Do you have some kind of psychic thing going on?”

“What are you talking about? I was just calling to see how you’re doing.”

“Brad just texted me. He wants me to meet him somewhere so he can explain.”

“That’s good, right? I mean, he should’ve earlier, but you should at least hear him out.”

Aaron closed his eyes and dropped his head on the back of the couch. “Fuck my life.” He hadn’t filled Mandy in on the rest of the saga yet.

“Does that mean you’ll talk to him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe…. Probably. You haven’t heard from him at all?”

“No, we don’t really run in the same circles, outside of you.”

“He doesn’t want to tell me why he’s avoided me since we slept together,” Aaron said, not liking the way his voice sounded. “He wants to explain why he outed me twenty years ago.”

The silence on the other end of the call was almost unnerving, but finally Mandy asked, “
What
? How was that his fault?”

“Apparently, he was the guy who took the photo. Ya know,
the
photo.”

“Wow.
Wow
. How do you know?”

“He told me. Came by the shop today and showed me the original.”

“Damn. I guess it’s a big deal to him that you hear him out, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. But, like, after twenty years, why? Why not just let it go? It seems to me the only thing gained by this is him maybe lifting the burden of guilt from his own shoulders and—fuck that. He
should
feel guilty, ya know?”

Mandy didn’t respond right away. After a moment, she said softly, “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?” She didn’t wait for Aaron to answer her. “You remember when we were kids—I was, like, twelve, and you were fourteen.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No, hear me out.” She paused and then said, “I had braces, had to wear that god-awful headgear, and had just started getting zits and—God knows I’ve never been skinny, but I was probably at my most overweight then….”

Aaron knew exactly what she was talking about and he sunk down farther on his couch, as if he could hide from what she was about to say.

“You were a
dick
,” Mandy blurted out. “I mean, really, just a total shit. You even called me
Jabba
in front of your friend I had a crush on. I hated you so much.”

“Mandy, I’m sorry. I really didn’t—”

“God, let me finish.” She huffed a breath into the phone before going on. “Now, I’m not trying to compare trauma with you or anything, but you made me feel horrible and it’s not like you were the only person to say that kind of shit to me, ya know? But getting it at home hurt. Maybe more than getting it from some dickwad on the school bus.”

“I know,” Aaron whispered, shame burning deep in his chest. “I’m sorry, Mandy.”

“I’m not bringing this up because I need an apology. But yeah, I hated you. The first time you came home with a black eye, I wanted to thank whoever did it to you. I didn’t… understand what all was going on with you. I just knew I liked that you were getting picked on too.” She sniffled and Aaron wished they were talking about this in person, wished he could hug her. “My point is, though, I wouldn’t want you to judge me for that and I’m sure you don’t want me to judge you for how you acted, right?”

“Right,” Aaron said weakly. “I only did that—”

“Because you were so busy trying to make sure no one really saw
you
, that you put the attention on me. I get it. Now, anyway.” She laughed and added, “I guess those psych courses weren’t a total waste.”

Aaron smiled, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to laugh with her. “Guess I’m pretty lucky.”

“Yeah, ya are. But so am I. Because I got to know you, and I let all that crap go a long time ago.”

“I love you, sis.”

“I love you too, dickhead. Now call Brad and let him at least explain himself. Or I’m telling all my lesbian friends what a jerk you really are.”

He did laugh then. “If they boycotted me, I’d be ruined.”

“I know.” Her smile was clear in her voice, but she sounded firm too. “Call Brad. He really seems like a nice guy. There has to be more to it.”

After they ended the call, Aaron looked at his phone for a long moment. It had been twenty minutes since Brad had texted him and the guy had probably given up on a response. Maybe he deserved to sit there and sweat about it, but Mandy had a point, and he hoped she was right. More to it would be good, right? He almost wanted to invite Brad over or just call him, but his head was throbbing and he was exhausted. In the end, Aaron thumbed out a simple text.

Bookmarked, 8pm tomorrow night.

Could he really feel the relief in Brad’s answer, or was it just in Aaron’s head?

Thank you. I’ll be there.

Chapter Eleven

Why had he agreed to meet Brad after a ten-hour day? Nothing went right at the shop. He’d finally managed to hire another barista, but the best thing he could say about Evan was that he was punctual. A very punctual walking disaster. Aaron, Simon, and Clara had everything behind the counter down to a pleasant little dance. They moved around each other with ease. Evan tripped over his own feet and usually knocked himself into Aaron. Because of this, Aaron burned the hell out of himself on the espresso machine—steam is hot, apparently—and nearly sliced his finger off during the lunch rush. Not to mention the stack of cups and saucers he knocked over when Evan crashed into him. The dishes all shattered, because of course.

When Aaron walked into Bookmarked at a quarter to eight, all he wanted to do was collapse into a chair and put in his earbuds. He needed to collect himself before seeing Brad.

Unfortunately, Brad was already there.

As Aaron found a spot and took a seat, Brad crossed the floor with a tentative smile on his face. “I was afraid you’d bolt if you got here before me.”

Aaron had sagged so low in the cushy chair, he was almost lying down. “Do I look ready to run anywhere?”

Brad scooted an ottoman closer until Aaron lifted his feet and stretched out his legs on it. “Actually, you look like you’ll need to be carried home.” He sat across from Aaron, his smile seeming less terrified, and asked, “Rough day?”

“How’d you guess?” Aaron almost huffed a laugh. Almost. Instead, he sat a little straighter—as straight as his tired muscles would allow—and said, “I’m here. Explain.”

“You don’t beat around the bush.”

Brad didn’t sound like he was complaining, but Aaron could tell he’d hoped for a little more banter before moving onto the “Sorry I was a dick” conversation.

“Sorry, but not tonight,” Aaron said as he lifted his head. “I’m exhausted and all I want in life is a hot shower and clean pajamas, but I thought it would be shitty to reschedule you when you’re… well, when this is obviously a
thing
for you, ya know?”

Brad arched a brow. “If this weren’t still a
thing
for
you
, you would’ve let me explain yesterday.”

“Fair point.” Why lie? “All that bullshit—twenty years in the past or not—still rankles sometimes, okay? And finding out the guy I… well, that sucked too. So did not hearing from you for days after you made your great escape.”