Hamsikker 3 (9 page)

“Julie, before you go,” said Jonas, “we need to talk.”

Julie stood up and raised her eyebrows. “Can it wait? I’m beat.”

Bishop couldn’t help but smile as he watched Lukas admiring Julie’s long legs. He was a young kid and still had natural urges. Still, Bishop knew that if Lukas wanted to get inside Julie’s bed, it was going to be a long wait. The woman had showed little interest in anything since being rescued. Often she seemed to sink into her own thoughts, almost forgetting she was in company.

“This will only take a minute. I don’t need to know what your deal was with Carlton. I can tell you’re a decent person. I would like to know what you’re planning on doing tomorrow though. You’ve heard us talk about Thunder Bay and getting to my family. You know you can join us if you want. We’ve enough food and water to last us all. You shouldn’t feel obligated to come. I understand if you…”

“Canada sounds good to me. I’ve nothing else. Carlton was all I had.”

Bishop noticed she said it as if he were her husband and not her sergeant.

“He was over-zealous, pig-headed, controlling, and paranoid. But if it wasn’t for him I’d be dead, I know that. Being stuck with him as we were, we got to know each other well. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. We were just about ready to give up, you know? When we heard the shooting, we didn’t think it was a rescue. There are people out there,
bad
people, who would kill us just for wearing the uniform. So, I’m sorry for the way things started out between us, but please don’t try and tell me I’m a decent person. I get the insinuation. Carlton was an asshole. Maybe he was. But he was also a good man who always tried to do the right thing no matter who he offended in the process.”

“I’m sorry,” said Jonas standing up. “I wish he were here with us, with you, but…I can’t change that now.”

Jonas looked at Julie. Her brown eyes softened when he apologized. He supposed it had been a backhanded compliment. Jonas hadn’t taken to Carlton, but that didn’t mean he was pleased he was dead.

“Look, I have no family, nothing to go back for. If this Thunder Bay place is where you’re heading, then I guess I’ll come along for the ride. What else am I going to do, right? Until things get put back together, it’s all about survival.”

Julie said goodnight and then disappeared off to her room. When she was gone, Dakota spoke first.

“
Until things get put back together
? I don’t know what that woman’s been through, but she’s got a shock coming to her if she thinks things are going to go back to the way they were. She needs a reality check. I don’t mean to sound horrible, she seems fine, but are you sure about her Jonas? Do we even
want
her along with us?”

Jonas rubbed his eyes. They felt grainy, tired, and all of a sudden he felt like sleeping for a thousand years. The beating Javier had given him meant his body still felt heavy, and the bruising had yet to subside. His head ached, and no amount of sleep was going to cure that. He had to get up in a few hours to take his shift on watch and relieve Bishop, and from Dakota’s tone, he could tell she was about to get into it. He couldn’t face an inquisition now. “We can hardly kick her out, can we? Her sergeant, her friend, was killed today. She’s harmless. In fact, being military, she’s probably got some skills that will help us. Let’s just help her as best we can for now. We can help her get where she’s going.”

“Now you’re talking my kind of language,” said Bishop.

“Trouble is, she doesn’t know where she needs to be,” said Dakota.

“No matter. We’ll help her get there,” said Jonas. “Right, Bishop?”

Bishop drew his jacket up to his chin, feeling the cold too. “Right. But don’t force it. Things will happen for her. Her head’s a mess right now. I’m quite sure Sergeant Carlton would have run a tight ship back there in that place they were shacked up in, and now that’s all gone. She’s lost everything she knew: the army, her security, the man she loved, and all in one day.”

“Loved? What makes you think that?” asked Lukas. “I thought she was a Private. That sort of thing isn’t allowed, is it?”

“I don’t think the rules apply anymore, Lukas,” said Bishop. “If she wanted Carlton dead, she had plenty of opportunity over the last few months. No, she wanted him alive. Now she has to start over, and all she has is us. You, Hamsikker. You’re the one leading us now. This is your game. I’ve got you here, but after Duluth you’re in charge. I don’t know the land. I can’t help you get to Janey.”

Jonas felt the weight of responsibility fall upon him, and he accepted it. He was a father now, and it wasn’t something he could shirk. He had run away from it in the past, but running away wasn’t an option anymore.

“Bishop, I’ll relieve you in a few hours; Lukas you can get some sleep and take the last watch. I want us up and out of here by six. We can get started as soon as the sun’s up. We’ll take the truck and get on the I61. It’ll lead us all the way to the border and Thunder Bay. There’s no stopping once we get going—not for anything.” His comment was aimed at Bishop who he knew would want to stop if he saw any sign that someone needed help. “We don’t stop until we get to Thunder Bay. My sister’s house is on the edge of the lake on the western edge of town, so we don’t need to actually go right through the city center.”

“Very good. So long as you have it worked out, I suggest we get some sleep,” said Bishop. “I don’t know about you, but I can hardly keep my eyes open. These bones are quick to let me know when they’ve had enough.” Bishop stood up and began arranging the blankets spread out over the sofa. “I’ll go check on Black Jack and check around outside. Any sign of trouble, I’ll get you, don’t worry. Have a good evening, folks,” Bishop said.

Jonas and Dakota made their way up to their bed for the night.

“So are you going to tell me?” asked Dakota, as she followed Jonas upstairs into their bedroom. The room was cold, but otherwise quite pleasant. The bed was comfortable, and had a thick quilt spread over it that looked almost brand new. Dakota quickly stripped and slipped beneath the covers.

“Tell you what?” asked Jonas as he joined his wife in bed. He figured they had about six hours until dawn, and at least a third of that he was going to have to be up on watch: so much for a good night’s sleep.

“What happened to you? Why did you leave home? Don’t tell me that you wanted to broaden your horizons. I know you and Erik were tight, so why’d you go? It has something to do with your father, I know that much, but I don’t know why you won’t tell me. After everything we’ve been though, we should be able to tell each other anything.”

“I know, I know, it’s just that after Mom died, things changed. We were happy, but Dad just couldn’t cope. It was hard for him. It was hard on all of us. What’s the point in dredging up the past anyhow? We should try and get some sleep while we can. You said so yourself, you’re not feeling the best.”

“Jonas Hamsikker, you are as stubborn as your old man. And stop trying to change the subject. You want to raise our child with secrets between us?”

Jonas sat up, shuffled his pillow around, and lay back down. “No, of course. I just haven’t talked about it before. To anyone.”

“Okay, so how about I start,” said Dakota stroking Jonas’s head. “Let me see…when I was in college I smoked pot. Like, a
lot
.”

Jonas laughed. “For real? You?” He couldn’t picture Dakota getting high. Since he had known her she had never so much as smoked a cigarette.

“See, you don’t know everything. Now, your turn.”

Jonas thought for a moment, pondering how and where to start. He was struggling to get the image of Dakota sitting around a college dorm smoking. He wasn’t used to opening up, not about the serious stuff. “I left town because I couldn’t take it anymore. It was never-ending. Nothing changed, and nothing was going to change. The beatings, the arguments, the constant fucking miserable atmosphere that hung around our house; it stopped being a home after Mom passed. Erik stopped coming around. I began to hate myself for letting it happen.”

“Your father beat you?” asked Dakota quietly. She continued to stroke Jonas’s hair. She could feel his body was tense, that he was struggling with letting it out.

“No, he never laid a finger on me.”

Dakota put her head on Jonas’s chest. His heart was racing.

“I should’ve stopped it, said something, done something, anything, but I didn’t. Christ, it breaks my heart to remember what Janey went through. I can’t explain it. I was a coward. I know that now. Hell, I knew it back then. I was scared of him, same as Janey was, and I guess I thought that if I got involved he would start to take it out on me too. So in the end, I ran away. If I could change things, I would, but I can’t. All I can do now is try to make amends with her, try to help her with what’s going on now. Nothing’s going to stop me feeling guilty about what I did. Or rather, what I didn’t do.”

Dakota had grown up in a stable family, and had only heard of such things going on in other people’s families. It was hard to imagine Jonas going through it. “So your father abused Janey, and nobody picked up on it? Not Erik, no one?”

“No. He made sure of that. I’m glad he’s dead. My father was a mean bastard: a mean, lonely, disgusting old man.”

“So that’s why Janey wasn’t at the funeral?” asked Dakota.

“I’m glad she wasn’t,” said Jonas. “He took everything from her. Nearly destroyed her. I could hear her crying at night. Sometimes he went into her room when he thought I was asleep. The crying didn’t stop though.”

“Did he…?”

“I think so.”

“Oh, God.”

They lay together in silence for a while, and Dakota processed what Jonas had told her. It was obvious now why Jonas was so protective of his sister. He clearly felt responsible for what happened when they were growing up, but it wasn’t all on him. Maybe he should’ve done something about the abuse, but that was easy to say with hindsight. Would she have done anything different?

“I love you, Jonas. I love the fact that I’m having your child. And I’m going to love Janey and her kids too,” said Dakota.

“I love you too,” said Jonas. “I love Janey, but I hate myself for what she went through.” He felt relieved that Dakota knew the full picture now; the history of what his sister had gone through.

“What’s past is past. In a few hours, we’ll be over the border, then we’ll find Janey, and Mike, and Ritchie, and Chester, and then we’ll find somewhere safe to raise this child of ours. Okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Jonas. He felt more awake now than he had all day. He always knew deep down that Dakota would understand, but admitting everything out loud, actually talking about it, hadn’t been easy. “Let’s get some sleep. Sun’ll be up soon.”

Dakota kissed her husband. “You’re too tense to sleep,” she whispered in his ear. Peeling back the covers, Dakota climbed on top of her husband. “Let me help you sleep,” she said, and she slowly began to descend his body, kissing him all over.

As they made love for the first time in months, it felt like they were a couple again. So much had happened recently that they had almost been driven apart. Now Jonas felt as if he was making love to Dakota for the first time. It was as if they were lovers, still relishing in each other’s bodies, instead of a couple who had been married for years. Jonas also felt relief that they could connect again. He loved Dakota so much that he knew she was right. Finally, in just a few hours, they would be in Thunder Bay. He would be reunited with Janey and his nephews, and he would raise his son or daughter with Dakota by his side.

Jonas eventually drifted off to sleep, satisfied that finally things were going well, and confident that everything was going to be all right. It was all going to be over soon.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The sun had barely risen above the horizon, but he was ready to go. He enjoyed the crisp mornings, and up here, further away from the fires and the dead, there was something special, almost magical. Bishop sucked in the cool air. It was so fresh, so devoid of pollutants, that it almost made him dizzy. Not only did it tell him that there were no dead close by, but that the others were going to make it.

“I know, Annalise. It’s time.” When he spoke his breath hung in the air, briefly forming small clouds that dissolved in front of his face. “They’ll be fine.”

Bishop’s husky voice cut through the air, and he pulled his jacket tight. He had enough provisions loaded to see him through the day. He could ride faster if he wasn’t laden down, and he needed to get back to base. He didn’t like to leave things unattended for too long. He stared out at Duluth, for once the quietness of the city reassuring instead of unsettling. There was an aura of calmness about it, as if Duluth was taking care of itself now, able to breathe, free of traffic and people. Bishop could see that the Lake was close, and he felt good about what lay ahead for all of them. The few people that had lived in Duluth were gone. He could feel it. The city felt hollow, empty. Whether they had left on their own feet, or been carried out on the back of a truck in a pile of corpses, the people had gone. Hamsikker would get them to Grand Portage and across the border. From there the road to Thunder Bay should be relatively clear. There were no major population centers then until they got to Thunder Bay. Bishop had done what he could. He almost wanted to whoop with delight. Sometimes things went bad, like yesterday when they had lost Carlton. Sometimes he helped people, one way or another, and sometimes he couldn’t. Today was a good day. He knew he had helped as much as he could, but now it was someone else’s turn to take control. Annalise had told him as much, and he had to admit she was right, as usual. It was time to go.

Bishop turned back to face the house where the others were sleeping, or waking, or at that place just in between where dreams blurred with reality. He grinned at Lukas.

“It’s good to be alive, son. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Sure is,” replied Lukas, a little confused, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He couldn’t help but admire Bishop’s outlook. He was always positive, always looking for survivors, always dressing himself in colorful, flamboyant clothes as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Bishop was practical, too, knew how to handle himself, and had lived out on his own for far longer than he should have. Lukas got the impression there could be a nuclear holocaust, and Bishop would be the last man standing. Lukas saw that Bishop was fully dressed, and Black Jack was stomping his feet on the ground impatiently. When had Bishop brought him around from back? Black Jack’s saddlebag was already loaded, and then it dawned on him. Bishop was leaving.

“You know, you don’t have to go back,” said Lukas. “These guys could use your help. At least let me wake them so they can say goodbye.”

Bishop pouted, and sighed. “Never did like goodbyes, Lukas. I know what you think, that I should see this through, but it’s just not my style. They don’t need me for what they’re doing any more than you do now. There are plenty more people who could use my help, and I think Hamsikker and Dakota know what they’re doing. I’ve got you to Duluth. I’ve done my part. Besides, they’ve got you and Julie for company. Catch and release, Lukas, you know how I work.”

Lukas watched Bishop jump up onto Black Jack, who snorted and bridled with eagerness as Bishop patted the side of her head. Lukas was going to miss being around the both of them. He also knew that Bishop wouldn’t be persuaded to stay. He had been around him long enough to know that he did as he liked—or as Annalise liked.

“You take care of yourself. And don’t ride Black Jack too hard. She had a long day yesterday. It’s a long way back, you know.” Lukas patted Black Jack, then reached up and gave Bishop a handshake. “Not everyone around these parts is friendly.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got my ladies. Annalise and Black Jack will take care of me. I’ve been here a while looking at Duluth. I think you’re in the clear. I reckon once you get to the other side of the city, past the harbor, you folks have got an open run to the border. You should take every opportunity you can.” Bishop patted his pockets and frowned. “Damn. Say, would you mind grabbing my canteen? I left it inside. Try in the dining room. I think that’s where it’ll be.”

“Yeah, hold on.” Lukas jogged back to the house in his bare feet. It was still early, and a fine dew covered the grass that flanked the crooked path up to the front door. Lukas quietly entered the house, not wanting to make any noise that would wake the others. Bishop was right about that, they needed their rest. They would be up soon enough. He also knew that if he tried to wake the others to say goodbye, Bishop would not thank him. By the time he had roused everyone, Bishop would probably have hightailed it out of town anyway.

Lukas checked the living room, just in case the canteen was there where Bishop had spent the night. The table was just as they had left it, still set for dinner by the occupants of the house, and the room was exactly as it was when they had come to it yesterday. He wandered into the dining room. He searched the room, scanning the floor, the chairs, every corner and bookshelf, but he was unable to find it anywhere. Maybe Bishop was mistaken, and he had left it upstairs. He hadn’t spent long up there, but it might have fallen from his bag without him realizing. Lukas was going to have to either go upstairs to check, and risk waking the others, or explain to Bishop that he couldn’t find it. He decided it would be better to go out with something, and grabbed a bottle of water from their supplies. He quickly slipped on his sneakers, and then trotted back out of the house. When Lukas reached the front gate, he could feel something was wrong. He rounded the corner, and instead of finding Bishop there waiting for him, he found himself looking at the armored truck. There was no sign of Bishop.

“Bishop?” Lukas looked down the street, confused. Seeing nothing, he turned around, and went across the road to check the other side of the house. There, in the distance, he saw them. Black Jack was trotting down the street, and Bishop sat astride her as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Just as Lukas was about to call out to him, Bishop turned the horse around, raised his hand in the air, and waved. Lukas thought he saw the man smile, but he was too far to make out clearly, and so Lukas just raised his hand and waved back.

“Catch and release, huh?” said Lukas. He realized then that the search for the canteen had just been a ruse. He could be angry with Bishop, could be annoyed with him, could even chase after him, but ultimately Bishop was his own man, and there was nothing wrong with that. Lukas took it as a sign of respect that Bishop didn’t want to say goodbye to him.

“See you around.” Lukas returned to the house. A wry smile crept across his face as he walked up the garden path. If it wasn’t for Bishop, he would be dead, there was no doubt about it. Now that Bishop was gone, he felt excited. He was sad that Bishop was gone, and scared too. He worried about what the future held, but he was happy too. It was as if he had been released, as though Bishop had set him free. Lukas had learnt a lot from Bishop about survival and intended to use his knowledge as best he could to help Hamsikker and Dakota.

Back inside the house, he slumped down on the sofa, opened the mineral water, and drank. Bishop was gone. They were on their own now. It was an odd sensation. Lukas was sad he had lost his friend, but knew the future ahead was promising. If they could make it to Thunder Bay, they had a chance to start again. Doubt pinched him as he thought about where he might be later. Would Hamsikker and Dakota even want him around? It was Bishop who had led them here, so perhaps they would want Lukas to go too. Would they cut him and Julie free? He had been with a couple before. When he was in Chicago he had only survived by working with a young couple he had been trapped with. It hadn’t worked out so well for them. Maybe Hamsikker and Dakota would be better off alone, but where would he go? Lukas didn’t know the area, and had no real plans of his own. The idea of getting to Thunder Bay had crept into his head, drawn him in, and now it was all he thought about. Lukas kept drinking the water, thinking about what he was going to say, what they needed to do, and how they were going to get out of Duluth. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice as Jonas came down the stairs and crept up behind him.

“Morning sunshine,” said a smiling Jonas as Lukas leapt out of his seat.

“Jesus Christ, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” Lukas looked at Jonas with his eyes wide, and water spilt down his shirt. “Hamsikker, you do that again I’m liable to take your head off.”

Jonas chuckled. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I promise not to do it again. Today.”

Lukas smiled, and offered Jonas the water. He could see Dakota in the dining room and heard the clatter of pots and pans.

“Breakfast?” asked Jonas. “Not sure what’s on the menu, but we can make it work as long as you like it cold.”

“Yeah, I’m starving.” Lukas hadn’t even realized how hungry he was until Jonas had mentioned food. Now he could feel his stomach turning over, and they walked together through to the kitchen.

“Is Bishop outside? Black Jack’s okay, right?” asked Jonas. “We should get him in here so we can plan how to best get to Grand Portage. Janey’s…”

Jonas knew from looking at Lukas’s face that something was amiss. He helped Dakota spread some tinned tuna and cherry tomatoes on a plate, and then pulled out a chair to sit down.

Lukas said nothing, and sat down at the table opposite Jonas. He emptied the bottled water into three glasses, and waited for Dakota to join them. When she sat down, pushing three plates of food in front of them, Lukas opened his mouth to speak.

“He’s gone, hasn’t he?” Jonas knew the answer to his question, but he wanted to hear it from Lukas.

“Yeah,” said Lukas quietly. The doubts were back, and bigger than ever. He felt responsible for bringing them bad news, and hoped they wouldn’t hold it against him. They might be angry with him for not waking them up, or they might throw him out, preferring to be on their own. He steeled himself, preparing for the cross-examination.

“Lukas, there’s more tuna if you’re hungry,” said Dakota. “We’ve still a couple of cans left, so don’t hold back. Then again, I don’t know for sure when we’re next going to eat, so you may as well get a good feed now.”

“Well, I wish we’d had the chance to say thank you, but I guess he has his own life to live,” said Jonas. “I knew it would come eventually, I was just hoping he would come with us to Canada. I guess I was just ignoring it; pretending it wouldn’t happen.”

“More tea, vicar?” asked Dakota, as she poured more water into Jonas’s glass.

“He’ll be all right, you know,” said Lukas, relieved that he wasn’t being interrogated as to why Bishop had gone or where.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” said Dakota. “I’ll miss him, but we’ve still got you, right?” Suddenly a look of panic spread across Dakota’s face. “I mean, you’re not leaving too, are you? You’re coming with us, right, Lukas?”

Lukas opened his mouth, unsure of how to answer. “I…I thought…” He hesitated, unsure if they really wanted him along on their journey.

“Course he is,” said Jonas. “You’re not going anywhere, young man.”

“Any chance of a coffee?” asked Julie as she entered the room.

“Sorry, Private, not unless you take it cold and dry,” replied Jonas. Julie looked tired, and he wondered if she had slept much. Her long hair was a tangled mess and her skin pale. He could also tell that Lukas was attracted to her, and he noticed how Lukas’s eyes followed her around the room when she walked. She had to be a good few years older than him, and Jonas suspected Lukas had no chance with her.

Julie pulled up a chair, and the four of them ate, discussing Bishop, and how they might get to the border. Lukas relayed what Bishop had told him, that Duluth appeared to be clear of the dead, and they agreed to take the truck as far as they could. Jonas didn’t press Julie for more information, and she never offered any. She said she would go with them, and that was that. Jonas could see that Lukas was more than happy with Julie’s decision, but Dakota seemed less so.

“Julie, you mind helping Lukas get the truck ready? I think we should get going.” Jonas was exhilarated. They were so close now. He put his dirty dishes in the sink, and stared out of the window. It was streaked with dirt, but through the grime, Jonas could see the future. Stretching toward Canada, the light blue sky had never looked so clear. Beads of dew on the grass sparkled like diamonds in the beautiful early sunlight, and Jonas watched as a lone bird flew high in the sky above. The air up here was so fresh, so pure, so brittle and cold, that Jonas almost wished they could stay. He knew that it was a false sense of security though. It would be cold enough to snow soon, and they knew nothing of the area. At least Janey would know more about how to survive the winter at Thunder Bay. They had to keep going. So Bishop was gone. Good luck to him. He had helped keep them all alive, and now it was up to Jonas. There was no going back, no more alternatives. Just one thing left to do. Everything he wanted lay right ahead of him, and in just a few hours it would all be over. “Lukas, you happy to drive again?”