Good Enough to Share (Good Enough, Book 1 - Christmas) (9 page)

I’ve always been
fucked politely, nice gentle men who respected me. But this was different. Dane
was all strength and possession, Dane demanded. He pounded hard until I was
screaming out, he eased off until I was begging. He took me so near the brink
time and time again that I was grasping at him, clawing at him desperate for
him to come. But he didn’t. He was cruel and kind all at once and it should
have been scary, but it wasn’t.

He was kneeling on
the sofa, had pulled me up, supporting my bum with his firm hands so that I
couldn’t move when he finally slowed down. His hips were gyrating, slow circles
of pleasure so that he hit nerve endings that had never been hit before and I
was turning liquid inside and out. The urgency had gone and what was left was a
deep, thorough fucking that was making me pant. I’d almost forgotten Charlie,
distantly heard his grunts as I was taken to places I’d not been before, but
now I knew he was stood next to me. I opened my eyes and met his blue gaze and
he smiled.

“You are so
fucking gorgeous when you come, you know.” Then he leaned down and kissed me,
took my mouth in his just as Dane thrust hard and deep and shattered my last
bit of control. And as I felt the warmth flooding me, as I cried out it was
into Charlie, sharing caring Charlie who had his fingers tangled in my hair and
his hand lightly covering my breast. It was Charlie’s tongue that found mine,
but Dane’s hands that were warm against my hips as he held me until every last
shiver had gone.

 “You look
knackered.” Sophie was giving me ‘the look’.

“Yes, I had a
lovely Christmas thanks for asking.”

“I didn’t think I
needed to ask.” She plopped down on the chair opposite and raised an enquiring
eyebrow which I chose to ignore.

“You had a good
day too then?”

“Turkey, kids,
broken presents, wrong presents, tantrums, wine, falling asleep in front of a
movie. Yeah, par for the course.”

“Same here.” Well,
more or less. But from the look she was giving me she knew it was less rather than
more.

“Hmm. So where are
the boys?”

“Pre-match beer.”
It was Boxing Day, which meant football and I’d been quite pleased when they’d
announced they were off. I’d woken up with one leg entangled with Dane’s, a
dead arm, and the warmth of Charlie wrapped round my back with his hand on my
boob. All in all a new experience, and it needed assimilating. I didn’t process
new experiences that quickly. “Do you know about Charlie’s ex?” Heading her off
at the pass was the easy option, but I also knew she’d know, and I wanted to
know. Not because I was jealous or anything, but….

“Oh Anna, you
mean?” She knew, didn’t even need to ask which ex. “Why?”

“She emailed him
yesterday and he was a bit—”

“Yeah, he would
be.” She wandered through to make herself a cup of coffee, but carried on the
conversation. “What did she want? He’s not been in touch with her for ages,
well since—”

“She went?”

“Yeah.” She sat
down again and stretched her legs out in front of her, admiring her socks for a
silent moment. “They’d just split when I met him—”

“I thought you’d
known him for years?”

“No.” She frowned.
“Oh, he’s not from round here, well not originally.”

“Oh.” That stopped
me short, I’d assumed that he was one of Sophie’s primary school mates, just
like Dane. He seemed so settled, like he’d been here forever. “But, this place,
the —”

“He wanted to move
on from everything so he came back here with me in the hols and liked it here.”
She shrugged. “He bought this place, so he has been here a few years. Anyway,
as I was saying, the Anna thing was why he’d left Oxford and came to Sheffield.
He needed to get away.”

“It was that bad?”
She gave me a look, the interruptions weren’t welcome.

“Well he wanted a
fresh start, no family expectations, no Anna. It’s not easy when your family
are practically royalty and you’re expected to do everything a certain way you
know.”

“Isn’t it?” I
wouldn’t know, and I don’t think Sophie would either. She chose to ignore me.

“They’d grown up
together, been really good mates, you know? Then one night they had a quick
snog and it just went boom. They’d been pretty full on before but I think this
was real soul mate stuff. When she sent him that note it was completely out of
the blue and she just did a disappearing act, went abroad I think. It sounded
so weird, but he was really broken up about it. I know he always seems devil
may care but he was dev-a-stated.” She was putting on the full dramatics, but
something told me every word was true. “What did she want then?”

“I don’t know.
Dane read the email but I didn’t.”

“Nosy bugger.” The
two words kettle and black sprung to mind but I didn’t say them. “Don’t play
games with Charlie, will you? Be gentle.” Christ she looked serious, very
serious for Soph, and the change of direction caught me on the hop.

“Of course I won’t
play games, what are you on about?” I laughed, but it was uneasy.

“He’s always
fancied you Holly, I know he has. He’s different with you than with everyone
else.”

“Bollocks.”

She ignored me.
“He’s such a softy and I don’t want him to get hurt like he did with Anna. I
hoped you’d just both stay friends and leave it at that.” With anyone else it
would be interfering, but I knew she meant well. He’d resisted me because he’d
had one disastrous friends to lovers thing, and we had just been good mates.
Then Dane had come along and upset the barrel. And I don’t think we were just
friends anymore now.

“He’s a big boy
Soph, he can handle himself.”

She gave me a look
that said she knew I was hedging.

“He’s a nice,
sensitive big kid with a tender heart. You’re too much for a guy like that, and
he’s not enough for you.”

I stared back and
she got up and started tidying magazines that didn’t need tidying. “It’s just
fun, Sophie. You told me to lighten up, you brought Dane here.”

“I know. I just
don’t want anyone to get hurt, and shit happens.”

“You don’t need to
tell me that.”

She grinned. “No,
I don’t do I? You heard from shit face again then?”

“He’s giving up
sex and becoming a monk.”

“Seriously?” She
was sat next to me before you could say u-turn.

“No, not
seriously. He’s confused, but not that confused. He says he wished I could
understand his needs —”

“His needs?” I was
glad even Sophie got screechy sometimes and it wasn’t just me.

“He wishes I could
understand his needs and be a bit less judgmental and a bit more generous and
then we could go back to how we were and he could explore his true self as
well.”

“Arrogant bastard.
Generous? Judgmental? Who the hell does he—”

“I think he just
misses the respectable cover he had, he’s not ready to come out about his
kinkiness.”

“Shame.”

“I don’t think he
really gets what true self means, seeing as he can’t even admit to himself what
he wants.” I sighed and plucked at the chair cover. “I feel a bit sorry for
him.”

“Sorry? You
shouldn’t feel sorry.”

“Obviously not
sorry enough to go back, but I do. He’s like a big…well he’s all front and no
substance isn’t he?”

“A big fraud?”

“He’s not done it
on purpose, he’s just tried to create this perfect image all his life and now
he doesn’t know how to live up to it.”

“Mm. What are we
going to do this afternoon then?” Sophie didn’t mind talking about shit face,
but she drew the line when I started giving him excuses.

“Eat chocolates
and watch a film, or go for a bracing walk?”

“You’ve got
chocolates?”

I waved at the
mountain of chocolate boxes under the Christmas tree; everyone sent chocolates
at Christmas it seemed.

“Shall I make hot
chocolate with marshmallows?” She was up and raiding the cupboards before I could
answer. I worried for Charlie, he was good at making friends with girls it
seemed, but who wouldn’t want a good looking, generous, sexy guy to be their
best friend, and how many would say no when they’d got close enough to share
everything but a bed? I wondered who had said no, Charlie or Sophie.

There weren’t any
marshmallows, or hot chocolate, which put Soph into a bit of a sulk for the odd
second or two, then she decided that after all she fancied a walk, followed by
chocolates and film.

There was no sign
of snow, which was par for the course in the northwest of England, but the
ground was still crisp from a heavy frost and the breeze was keen enough to
make us tighten the scarves around our faces and walk rather than talk.

The park was full
of families, couples, everyone needing a break from turkey and being stuffed
and we occasionally checked our mobiles for updates on the football score to
judge whether the boys would return jubilant or sounding off about blind refs.
Jubilant was still favored as the half time whistle was blown.

We didn’t do the
normal loop around the lake, Sophie took a detour heading out through a side
gate I’d never noticed before and onto a deserted country lane, less than five
minutes later we were marching up the driveway of a small higgledy-piggledy
cottage.

“Dane’s.” I didn’t
like the look in Sophie’s eye, it looked far too naughty. “I said I’d feed the
dogs.”

“What are you up
to?”

“Come on.” She
turned the key in the door and pushed the door open, then clicked the latch on
the boot room door and we were immediately swamped by dogs. Or at least it
seemed that way. I’d seen Dane’s Jack Russell terrier with him at the yard,
bouncing around in search of rats and barking like some crazy dervish when he
scented one, and I’d seen the whippet peering nervously from behind the seat. I
hadn’t seen the Irish Wolfhound before, who was watching us now with doleful
eyes like some old grizzly tramp, his whiplash tail doing a slow pendulum
swing.

“He found Grizzler
tied to the tree at the bottom of the lane a couple of weeks ago.” The dogs
followed her back into the boot room and watched patiently as she put food out
and then closed the door again. “Come on, I want to show you something.” She
was halfway up the windy little staircase before she paused to check I was with
her. “Come on.”

“But I don’t like
to poke around when he’s not here, he might—”

“He doesn’t mind,
honest. Come on.” I still felt like I was doing something I shouldn’t. One
thing for certain, I’d never make a burglar.

The little bedroom
at the top was a surprise. It was perfect country cottage romance with a hint
of brusque male. The old oak floorboards had been polished by feet over the
years, the lopsided window framed a perfect view of an apple orchard and the
fields beyond. And then there was the bed. The perfect four-poster which,
despite its moderate proportions, dominated the room, the bed you couldn’t
ignore. Which was probably exactly why Dane had it there. I paused in the
doorway as Sophie marched over to the window and perched her bum on the sill.

“I thought you and
Dane weren’t close.”

“We aren’t close
as in, you know close. He’s the big brother I never had.”

“The big brother
that you slept with?”

She laughed. “Sure
I slept with him, but that was just friendly, a bit of mutual giving, we needed
each other. Just for a moment, you know?”

I didn’t know,
because all the men I’d slept with I’d thought I’d been in love with, sex
wasn’t comfort, sex was a spark, the touch paper that so often went off like a
damp squib sizzling into nothingness. Even with Charlie it hadn’t been comfort,
it had been simmering need.

“So this moment
includes regular blow jobs and wandering round his bedroom?”

“I’m not like you,
Holly. Sex is just sex, I fancy chips I have chips if they’re there. But don’t
you dare tell him I called him chips.” She waggled a finger at me. “And I know
my way round his bedroom because I’ve crashed here a time or two and I helped
him when he moved in.” She traced her hand along the windowsill. “He needed a
hand.” Abruptly she got to her feet. “And the other night just happened, he
took it the way I did, a bit of fun. Look can we get back to why we’re here?” I
decided to let her divert me, it wasn’t that skilful and I didn’t believe a
word. Soph cared about people and she didn’t shag around. Her time with Dane
must have meant something to her, just as her close friendship with Charlie
did, and maybe the appearance of Sal had crashed her dreams. But she still
cared, and she still hurt, even if she had decided to move on. I was a bit
dubious about exactly what she was moving on to though. She’d set up our sexy
little ménage the other day and now she was up to something again. I knew it,
and it didn’t involve a feeling in my waters—more a hammering in my heart.

“Sure.” Be brave
my girl.

“Come here.” So I
did, I went over and sat next to her on the edge of the bed because the bad
look was back and I wanted to know why. “Dane has this fantasy.” Uh, oh. “If I
did it he’d laugh at me and leave me waiting, but if you do it—” she ran her
tongue over red berry lips “—it will be all his Christmas wishes come true.”