Going, Going, Gone! With the Pain and the Great One (8 page)

Mom grew up in the city. What does she know about alligators?

Just before supper we went out in the canoes again. I must have been hungry, because I was thinking about Miss Memory’s pineapple upside-down cake and wondering if I’d like it. I like cake and I like pineapple. But I’ve never tried them together upside down.

Suddenly, I had a creepy feeling. It wasn’t just the quiet or the gray sky. I felt prickles on the back of my neck. I sat up straight, the way Fluzzy does when he knows something is going to happen. And then I saw them. In the distance. First it was just their snouts. Then they lifted their heads. Alligators! I looked over at the Pain. But I could tell he and Grandpa Pete didn’t see them yet. If they did, they’d be pointing. I turned my head to look at Miss Memory, but she was paddling along same as always. I was the only
one who saw them. Just me. They were my secret! I picked up my camera.
Say “cheese,”
I told them inside my head.

I was already thinking of how I would tell Ms. Valdez, my science teacher, about seeing four alligators.
Right in front of us
, I’d say.
Close enough to touch
. That wasn’t true, but it made a better story. I was so glad I was wearing my leather cowboy boots.

But how would I feel if the Pain saw
alligators and didn’t tell me? Not that the Pain has ever kept a secret in his entire life. But still, it would be so unfair. So I pointed. Miss Memory stopped paddling and pointed too. Then Grandpa Pete tapped the Pain on his shoulder and pointed. The Pain clapped his hand over his mouth. He was so excited he started rocking the canoe. If he fell in and got eaten by an alligator, Mom and Dad would be really mad at Grandpa Pete.

Two of the alligators crawled up onto one of the small islands. My hands shook as I snapped pictures of them. After a minute Miss Memory started paddling backward, very slowly, very quietly. Grandpa Pete did the same. The alligators didn’t see us. At least, I don’t think they did.

When we got back to the house, the Pain started yelling, “Alligators! We saw alligators.”

“I hope you weren’t close to them,” Mom said.

“Close enough to touch!” the Pain sang. When he saw the looks on Mom’s and Dad’s faces he laughed. “Ha ha … fooled you, didn’t I?”

“So you didn’t see alligators?” Dad asked.

“We did!” I told Dad. “Four of them. We took pictures.”

“Really, Pete,” Mom said to Grandpa. “I hope you were thinking about their safety.”

“I always think about the alligators’ safety,” Grandpa Pete said.

The next day we flew home. Fluzzy pretended not to care we were back. He had that
I don’t even see you!
look on his face. But he couldn’t fool me. I knew he’d missed us.

When I got into bed, Mom came in, holding up my boots. “I don’t think we’re ever going to dry these out.” She sniffed inside them and made a face. I already knew they smelled terrible, like the muck we
walked through every time we went in the canoes. But I was hoping Mom would know what to do.

“We’re going to have to throw them away,” she said. “They’re ruined.”

“But I love those boots!” I cried.

“Well, Abigail …” She didn’t say anything else. She just carried them out of my room.

“Can I get another pair?” I called.

“We’ll see.”

That probably meant no.

The next day Dad dropped off our film to be developed. He came home with the pictures that night. I couldn’t wait to see how mine turned out. I knew they would be good. I knew they’d be way better than the Pain’s. I opened the envelope. I took out the pictures.
What?
I thought as I flipped through half of them. “These can’t be my pictures!” I cried. They were so blurry you couldn’t make out anything. I grabbed the
Pain’s envelope. “Let me see those….”

“Hey!” he said. And before I could stop him he grabbed
my
envelope.

He checked out my pictures while I checked out his. But these couldn’t be mine either. They were all black. “You had your finger over the lens,” I told the Pain.

“Not every time,” he said. “Look at this one!” He held it up. It was a perfect picture of an alligator. “Only our alligators came out right,” he said.

But only
my
alligator looked like he was saying “cheese.”

FLUZZY IN CHARGE

See if I care if they go away.

See if I care if they leave me home with the babysitter.

I’ll show them how much I care!

As soon as they’re gone I race into
his
room.

His elephant is gone!

He took his elephant with him but not me?

See if I care!

Next, I tear down the hall to
her
room.

I jump onto her bed and sniff everything.

I bite her troll doll.

I pull at its hair.

Then I knock it to the floor and hide it under the bed.

When I get thirsty I slurp from the toilet bowl.

The babysitter says,

Fluzzy, that’s disgusting!

You have your own water dish
.

See if I care what the babysitter says!

I hide in the mom’s closet
     way in back, behind the coats.
The babysitter can’t find me.

She calls,
Fluzzy, where are you?

Fluzzy, what am I going to tell them if you get lost?

How can I get lost when she won’t let me out of the house?

When she finally opens the closet door I jump out and hiss at her.

See if I care how loud she screams!

At night I chase toy mice.

I skid across the floor.

Then back again.

She calls,
Fluzzy, you’re driving me crazy!

See if I care!

In the morning I fly down the stairs and leap onto the kitchen counter.

I paw at everything.

Spices fall over.

Jelly beans tumble to the floor.

Sugar spills from the bowl.

It crunches when I walk in it, like snow.

Fluzzy!
she cries when she sees the mess.

Let’s get this straight
.

I’m in charge!

Ha ha! That’s what
they
think too!