Girl Online (11 page)

“That's another forty minutes of me whipping your butt at racing then,” Blake says.

“I guess so,” I say, almost sighing. I take out the replacement phone that Tom has given me (his older, less cool one, which he doesn't mind me losing or breaking) and I text Elliot.

I immediately get a reply from Elliot.

I smile down at my phone and go to reply when Blake takes it out of my hand and places it on the table in front of us.

“How am I supposed to beat you if you're not even playing? Put that away.”

“Rude!” I say, picking it back up and putting it in my pocket.

“It's not rude. That's just how you've chosen to feel.” He smiles and hands the controller back to me.

Noah stands up and stretches, throwing his arms high above his head and yawning dramatically. “I'm beat after last night and the early start. I'm gonna grab a quick nap in the back. Penny, is that cool?”

“Of course,” I say. Even as I say the words, I stare up at Noah, trying to communicate
Please don't leave me alone with your creepy friend
with my eyes, but he isn't as good at decoding my secret messages as Elliot is. He just smiles and heads into the back of the bus.

In an attempt to enjoy the next half an hour, I ask Blake a few questions about the tour, Noah, the drums . . . anything I can think of. His answers consist mostly of grunts and mumbles, but altogether it about amounts to a conversation. It's not overly stimulating and not very enjoyable, but it makes the journey go a little faster and, since he's not concentrating so hard on racing, I actually manage to beat him a few times (much to his horror).

“So, you've been with Noah how long now?” he asks.

“Oh . . . a bit over six months? It's gone so quickly.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a lifetime! You know, this tour is a big thing for Noah. It's his dream come true.”

Even though I'm not sure how to take the “lifetime” comment, I'm shocked that we are actually having a nice conversation. It worked! I softened Blake the grump. Playing car games was totally worth it to realize I had the wrong impression of him and he just needed to wind down. I'd always hoped I'd get on well with Noah's friends and finally it's happening.

I smile. “I know. I kind of wish I'd known him before he achieved his dream. I bet he never thought it would take off how it has. His music is amazing, though. He's a great songwriter. I mean, I don't know a lot about songwriting or the music industry but—”

“See, that's the thing, Penny,” Blake interrupts. “You
don't
know anything about the music industry at all.” His tone changes. My throat feels suddenly tight and my face starts getting hot. Blake is still looking at the screen and racing his car round the track. “I'm sure you're great, Penny. Noah obviously thinks so. I'm just not sure he thought about the consequences of having a girlfriend as his career kicks off.”

He puts down his controller and pulls out a packet of tobacco, then puts a filter in his mouth as he rolls a cigarette. I watch him and feel the horror of what he's just said creep over me like a rash. I stay silent, waiting for him to say something, anything that would redeem him and this conversation.

“The tour's going to be fun, though. Nights out in different cities, getting drunk, lots of girls,” he says through pursed lips as he continues to roll the cigarette.

“I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Blake.” I stare at him out of the corner of my eye, but try to remain cool.

“ ‘Blake' sounds funny when English chicks say it.” He puts the newly rolled cigarette behind his ear and gets up from the sofa to grab another beer from the mini fridge. When he sits back down, he's so close his leg brushes against mine. “I'm just saying . . . in the dream of being on tour, there's
one
thing on this bus that none of us ever wanted.”

I'm stunned into silence. I want to come up with something witty to say, but my whole mouth feels numb, like it's been frozen solid. Mark, the bassist, comes over and picks up the controller from where it's dropped out of my hands. “Mind if I take over?”

“Go for it,” I manage to say. I get up and walk towards the back of the bus. At the last moment before I enter the area with the beds I look back over my shoulder at Blake. He's engrossed in the screen.

I put my hand on the door frame to steady myself. It's only now that I notice how much I'm shaking, but it starts to pass, and I smile as I remember that there is a cure very nearby.

Chapter Fourteen

Noah rolls over and blinks his eyes at the light as I come in through the curtains.

“Hey, my girl.”

“Oh, hey. Did I wake you?” I sit down on the edge of his bunk.

“Nah, couldn't sleep after all. It's all too exciting.”

I nod, biting my lip. He sits up and covers my hand with his. “Are you OK? You look a bit pale.”

I shake my head. “Well . . .” I want to tell him about what Blake said, but I also want Noah to think I can get on with his friends. I'm also hyperaware that Blake is his best friend, and I don't want to force him to have to choose sides between us. “How far back do you and Blake go?”

“Blake and me? He's one of my oldest friends. We practically grew up together. My parents bought me my first guitar the same year his parents gave him a drum kit. I used to go over to his basement and we would jam. Our first band was called . . .” He hesitates.

“Aw, come on, tell me!” I say, nudging him.

“OK . . . it was called The Wizard Boys. We were kind of obsessed with Harry Potter back then.” He cringes, but it's adorable.

I laugh. “That's the greatest!”

“Yeah, Blake even used to pretend his drumsticks were wands and our lyrics were spells!”

“Are you serious?” Somehow I can't square the image of the grungy guy outside with that of a sweet young boy rocking out in his basement and inventing magic spells.

“You might not have heard of the song ‘House Elves Just Want Some Love,' but it was destined to be a big hit!” He laughs, but then his tone turns more serious. “When things really started happening for me—like Dean finding me on YouTube and signing me up to his management company, all that stuff—Blake and I sort of had a falling-out. He started hanging out with a different crowd and we had some major arguments. It's one of the reasons why I completely retreated last year. Shut off from the world. I was ready to quit, throw in the towel. If I was going to lose my closest friends because of all this”—he gestures around the tour bus—“it wasn't going to be worth it. And then I met you. My Inciting Incident.” He kisses my hand. “You showed me it was possible for me to have it all. You gave me the courage to repair things with Blake. Inviting him on tour is the best thing ever—next to you being here, of course. He's a bit of a joker, but he's been there for me from the beginning. And I know you two will get along great once you get to know him.”

My face burns—from the compliment but also because I can't believe I was about to slag off Noah's best friend to him. I had no idea how much history they had. If Blake is a
joker, he's probably just messing with me. I need to learn not to take so much to heart if I'm going to hang out with the band.

“Hey, I was going to wait until we got to the hotel, but I want to give this to you.” He reaches underneath the bed, where his travel bag is, and pulls out a box wrapped in gold paper. “For you. Go on—open it,” he says when I stare at the gold box.

I open it slowly at first, then I rip off the paper. It's a brand-new smartphone. One of the fancy ones that I would never have been able to afford on my own. “Oh wow, Noah . . .”

“I wanted you to have a new, better phone since your other one was stolen at my concert. You can't be happy with that old dinosaur Tom gave you. Plus, this one has an amazing camera.”

He's right—I'm not happy with Tom's old phone—but I also just want
my
old phone, with Noah's doodles all over it, back. This fancy new phone can't compare to that one, but it does help. I stare at it in awe. “You shouldn't have! This is . . . this is too much.”

“It's not too much, Penny, I promise. What's the point of being a rock star if I can't splurge on you every now and then?”

“Maybe because I can't splash out back?” I say.

“Don't think that way.” He kisses me on the cheek. “You're my official anxiety monitor, remember? That's got to be worth
thousands
. Come on—should we go back out and join the fray?” He edges to the front of the bunk, his hand outstretched.

“Sure,” I say. Noah's given me more confidence. Maybe I do just have to give Blake a chance. If Noah likes him so much, he can't be that bad.

When we emerge from the back of the bus, it's to hoots and cheers. Noah puts both his hands up in defeat. “OK, OK, guys, settle down.” I feel my face flush red—why do boys have such dirty minds? I wish there was another girl around to help offset some of the testosterone.

Blake is back by the beer fridge. “You want one, man?” He offers a bottle to Noah, who looks at me, then back at Blake.

“It's early, dude. How many of these have you already had? You smell like it's three a.m. and you've just left a bar.”

“Geez, Noah, lighten up a bit. This is supposed to be fun! You're starting to sound like Dean.”

Noah takes the beer bottle and cracks it open using the corner of the table.

“Cheers to us!” Blake clinks his bottle on Noah's and smiles at me.

“Do you want a Coke, Penny?” Noah offers me a can from the fridge.

“Yeah, thanks.” I glance out of the window and am treated to the sight of a giant gate with massive pillars and four horses on the top. It's huge and majestic and just what I expected from Berlin. I let out a little squeal of excitement. “Wow, look at that! Is that the Brandenburg Gate?”