Getting a Life (15 page)

'I'm so sorry but I really can't come with you tomorrow. I really can't find anything suitable to wear.'

'Don't be silly. Of course you must come. You must have something in your wardrobe that will do.'

'There really is nothing in there.'

'I'll be round after work. May I come round after work? I should have said. I could bring something to eat. I'll be on my bike. Mel wants the car this weekend. After using it so much recently, I can't say no. Would you be willing to use yours tomorrow?'

'You can borrow it. I really won't be able to come with you.'

'I'll see you later.' He put the phone down. Joanne gave a shrug.

He arrived around six-thirty with a 'meal deal' from a local store.

'Maybe not exactly what you were expecting but I hope it will do. Let's put it in the oven and see exactly why you think you can't come with me.'

She was nervous about allowing him to go upstairs with her. But he was behaving himself impeccably. At the back of her rail of clothes, was a dress and jacket she hadn't worn in ages. He dragged it out and suggested it was perfect.

'But it's positively ancient,' she told him.

'I haven't seen it before and nor will anyone else there. Problem solved. Now, let's go and eat.'

She gave a sigh and went downstairs again. If he thought it would do, who was she to complain? It was a pleasant enough evening. He was very polite until she felt it was becoming painful. He was also determined that there were to be no strings attached to any of it and at eleven o'clock, he stood up to leave. She had the usual battle of wanting him and knowing she shouldn't but all he did was to kiss her gently and leave. She watched him driving away and smiled to herself. Tomorrow, they were seeing each other again. She went to bed happy with the thought. Maybe, just maybe it was all coming together again.
Maybe
they would soon be back together. She knew it was what she wanted more than anything but she wasn't going to rush into it. Not this time.

The following day was bright with winter sunshine. She smiled at him in his best suit, when he arrived. He had walked round to her place. She too was all ready, changed into what she saw as her old dress and jacket.

'I really feel a bit jaded in this old thing.'

'I can't see why. It looks lovely. So, are you ready?'

'All ready to go. I'll get the car out.'

It was a pleasant service with a pretty bride and the groom suitably nervous. They took photographs outside the church and were all on the verge of leaving when there was an interruption too the proceedings. A woman leapt out of her car and ran over to the group. Mike blanched and looked as if he were about to pass out completely.

'What is it?' she asked. 'Mike? Are you all right?'

'Sarah?' he said softly.

'Hallo my darling. I thought I'd surprise you.' Joanne froze as this girl came to Mike and kissed him with all the passion she might once have shown him herself. 'How are you, my love?'

'F...fine.'

'It's wonderful to see you again. I managed to get a flight, at the last minute and now I'm home for ages. Plenty of time for us to get married.'

Joanne's eyes opened wide and she stared at the pair.

'I'll wait for you in the car,' she managed to mumble. The woman, Sarah, looked at her as if she was dirt.

'Don't you worry about him. I've hired a car. I'll take him to the reception.' She flung her words into the air somewhere in Joanne's direction.

'Oh, I see. Mike?'

'It's all right. I'm coming with you. I'll see you later Sarah.'

'But I can't bear to let you go quite so soon. Who is this woman anyway?' The latter phrase said in a loud stage whisper.

'I'm sorry. This is Joanne. Joanne Swithenbank. Joanne, please meet Sarah. She's an old
acquaintance
of mine.'

'An old ... what did you call me? Come on now darling. I'm your fiancee. Or had you forgotten about me?'

'No. Not at all.'

'I should think not indeed. Seeing as we are about to get married.'

'How come you decided to come back over here? I mean what are you doing here?'

'Three months leave, darling. We'll have plenty of time to get married and you can come back with me for a spell after that. A sort of honeymoon.'

'We obviously need to talk. I'll see you at the reception.' He turned away from the girl and took Joanne's hand and walked back to her car. Sarah stood behind them, calling out the sort of comments which should not be heard at anyone's wedding.

'I'm so sorry about what she said. I have to admit, it was a complete shock to see her there. She knew my cousin years ago and I suppose she got an invite to the wedding.'

'I feel totally shocked, Mike. I really don't think I can face up to meeting everyone at the reception. I'll drop you off and go back home.'

'Please don't. You can't leave me like this. Please, help me to face her. I really need to explain things to you too. Give me a chance, please.'

'You can come round to see me when you have time. I'm not sure a wedding reception is quite the right place to have this sort of discussion. Now, where exactly are we going?'

'Turn left in about half a mile.' They continued to drive along the road and when they reached the hotel, she stopped outside.

'Go on. Go into the place. I'll see you sometime.'

'Please, come in with me.'

'I can't. I really can't. Go on.'

She wanted to get away from it all as quickly as possible. Go somewhere she could disappear. Get right away from Michael Thomas. How could he have a fiancee? How could he? How could he even have been seeing her the way he had been doing, especially with a fiancee in tow?

'Please Jo. Please come with me.' He was begging her with every ounce of his ability.

'I can't. Don't ask me again. I really can't come in there with you and that woman. If you ever do sort things out, then you might come and see me again. Goodbye now.'

He got out of the car and she drove away with a flurry of gravel flying up behind her. Her eyes were full of tears. She felt an emotional wreck. Of all things, Sarah whatever her name was, was the very last thing she'd expected. Just when things were coming together again for them. She went home and took off her dress and jacket and flung it down in the corner of her room. She tugged on an old pair of jeans and sweater and thought about the recent weeks in her life. Until she had met Mike, everything had been simple, straight forward and well organised. Boring, maybe. Now, she had been left emotionally bereft. How many weeks was it since he'd impacted on her? Five, six, seven? Whatever it was, she almost wished she'd never even met him. Life was so much easier before he arrived on the scene. No heartache. No emotional turmoil. Men? Forget them. Life was easier without them. She should never have agreed to see him again. Just when she'd thought they were getting things straightened out once more, this Sarah person had to turn up. It was all too much for her.

She got back into the car and drove out to the country. She parked and went for a walk in some nearby woods. It smelt cool and damp in there and she walked briskly, so as not to get cold. After nearly two hours, she felt hungry. It was already latish into the afternoon. She went into town and bought fish and chips and took them home. One thing about her, she always felt hungry and emotions rarely stopped her from eating. She thought about the disastrous wedding. What on earth was happening there? She pushed the thought away and sat down to eat her fish and chips. Whatever was going on, she felt separated from it all and wanted to keep it that way. She put on her television and tried hard to get involved in whatever was on. She failed miserably.

It was eight o'clock by the time Mike arrived on her doorstep.

'I don't want to talk to you,' she announced as she opened the door.

'But you must let me explain. Please. Let me in Joanne.'

'I really don't want to listen to you right now.'

'Please,' he begged. She opened the door wide enough to let him in. 'Please, you must let me explain about Sarah.'

'If you really have to.'

'In a mad moment well over a year ago, she merely talked about getting engaged. She then cleared off to Africa. I wanted to know she didn't have any more thoughts about us being engaged and wrote to her in Africa to tell her it was the biggest mistake I'd ever made. I got no reply. I wrote again and still got no reply. I hadn't heard a thing from her in all that time. She's been working for a charity in some remote area. I mean to say, who goes off to somewhere stupid like that and never even contacts me?'

'She seems to think she's engaged to you. She feels she's got a claim on you.'

'Well, she really hasn't. It was all a couple of years ago that we got together and she's now been away for over a whole year. She's never had a ring or anything. I was pretty much over her. It's all in her mind now. Truly.'

'I'm sorry but if you ever get free of her, then it may be a different matter. For now, I'd like you to go. Thank you for explaining what you feel is the correct situation as you see it. I'd like to get my life in order once more. Get back to the peaceful life I used to lead.'

'But Joanne, you can't possibly mean it ...'

'Please, leave me now. I need some space.' She rose again and almost pushed him out of the door. Once he'd left her, she immediately collapsed again. She cried for the rest of the evening, despite trying to tell herself that she was well out of it. She went up to her bed and lay on it, fully clothed. She must have fallen asleep in the small hours and finally woke the next day feeling like rubbish. What on earth was wrong with her? When she thought she'd finally found someone nice, it turned out he was a rat bag. She picked up the discarded dress and jacket and dumped it in the dustbin. It felt good.

She set about cleaning the house. She scrubbed and polished and even washed the windows. The phone rang several times, as did her mobile. She ignored both of them. Each time she felt like crying again, she made herself do something else. By evening, she was exhausted. She made herself some supper and sat to eat it watching television. It had reached a silly point when she spent every evening watching television by herself, she thought. She must find other things to do. New things that would get her out and about. What ever had she done prior to meeting Mike? Watched quite a lot of television, she realised. Far too much television, she decided. She was back at work tomorrow, she thought. She would throw herself into her courses with new heart.

By the time Tuesday arrived, she felt nervous in case Mike arrived in her class again. She got everything prepared as early as possible and stood awaiting the arrival of her class. Mike arrived along with the others. She smiled at them all and began her lecture. Once they had all settled to their work, she wandered round as usual, offering help where necessary.

'I am so sorry Joanne,' he said to her. 'Please, can we at least have a coffee after the class?'

'Sorry. I have something else to do. Now, is it clear what I asked you to do?'

'I think so.'

'That's good.'She walked away from this man, the man she had loved with all her being. She had to get over loving him and leave him alone. She really hoped he'd understand and leave her alone too.

'I really need to speak to you in private. Please, won't you have a coffee with me later?' It was the same old story. A coffee after the class and then who could tell where it could lead?

'I'm really busy, I am afraid,' she told him her words sounding a little forced. If he knew how much she was shaking inside...

'It's just that the software you ordered or suggested we order, has arrived. I've really struggled to install it. My father's asked if you really are coming to sort it out. Please, will you come?'

'This is not the time to ask,' she said softly, walking away from him, furious with him for even thinking of asking her.

The rest of the afternoon was spent looking after everyone else and she left him to work on his own. She felt quite bad about it and later on, went over and asked if he was managing his assignment.

'I guess so. Thanks for asking.'

'Look, I'm sorry if I sounded brusque but you know why. I have to get on with my life the only way I know how.'

'I can understand that. I'm just so sorry.' He looked so woebegone that she felt her heart soften. She would speak to him at the end of the class. But it would be on her own terms and she was the one who was definitely calling the shots.

'Okay everyone. Listen up now please.' When she had all their attention she spoke about her homework assignment. 'Any questions about it?' There were one or two queries which she was able to answer. 'Okay then. I'll see you next week. Leave this week's work on the side before you go please. Thanks everyone. Good work.'

As the group were all leaving, Mike looked at her again.

'Okay. One cup of coffee and you can ask me about whatever it is.'

'Thank you so much,' he said to her.

They went across to the students' coffee place and bought their coffee. It was packed solid, as usual. She was briefly empted to suggest they went to her office but she resisted.

'Sorry, it's pretty noisy here. Tell me what you want to know?' she said.

'It's the new software. I'm struggling to make it work in our system. I wondered if you could advise me in some way?' He was practically shouting to make her hear.

'What's wrong with it?' she hollered back.

'I'm sorry. This isn't working for me. I can scarcely hear what you're saying at all.'

'Okay, come over to my office.' She knew it was being silly, stupid but he really seemed to need to talk about something fairly technical.

She walked across the campus carrying her coffee and staying as far away from him as possible. To give him his due, he didn't try to take any advantage of the situation.

'Okay, now what's the problem?' she asked once they were seated.

'The new software you helped with. I've been struggling with it for ages. I simply can't make it work properly. My father's furious with me for insisting on getting it.'