Forever His Bride (7 page)

He failed. His control snapping, he closed his hands over her hips and lifted her onto the kitchen island. “Brenna…”

“Shh,” she murmured against his mouth. Her hands cupped his face, smoothing his jaw. “You’re so damned good-looking…”

He’d been complimented before—just the previous evening, in fact, by the town busybodies—but no compliment had ever meant as much to him or had ever felt as sincere. Maybe it was just because his ego had been bruised, but he suspected it had far more to do with who was giving the compliment.

“And you’re so beautiful,” he replied, awed by her voluptuous beauty and her passion.

Brenna shook her head, as if trying to awaken from a dream. “This isn’t real. This can’t be happening.”

He shook his head. “This…You are the only thing that feels
real
to me. You, Brenna Kelly, you’re more
real
than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Brenna had been called
real
before, by her friends and by associates, but never by a man. And never had it meant so much to her. She was down-to-earth and free of pretense. And open and sometimes too honest, for some people. Josh calling her “real”—that compliment meant more to her than any declaration of beauty. If only another man had said it to her.

If only this man didn’t already belong to someone else—to her friend.

She shifted against the counter, but Josh blocked her attempt to get down by standing right in front of her, between her legs. Hip to hip, chest to chest. Why was she—who’d always been so strong—too weak to resist? “Josh…”

“Brenna, let me see how real you are.” His hands closed over the straps of her sundress, slipping them from her shoulders. The bodice slid down, revealing a strapless underwire bra in the same emerald green as her dress and her eyes. Maybe she had dressed for him.

So that she would see this look on his face—admiration. And desire.

Then he reached for the clasp at her back, unhooking the bra so that it fell onto her lap. His breath shuddered out. “Brenna…”

Trembling with need, she caught his hands in hers. “
Feel
how real I am,” she offered, not even remembering the last time a man had touched her. Knowing no man like this one—so handsome, so gentle—had
ever
touched her before.

When his palms brushed her skin she trembled, wanting and needing more. He gave her more—leaning forward first to kiss her mouth, his tongue flirting with her lips before exploring more deeply. Then his mouth skimmed her jaw and throat, traveling down to the curve of her breasts. She shivered, her nerves never more alive than they were now from his touch.

“What’s this?” he asked, his breath warm against her skin. His fingertip skimmed the side of her breast. “You have a tattoo?”

She nodded. Shivering with cold now, she crossed her arms over her chest. How could she do this? She, who had always been so loyal to her friends?

“About nine years ago, we all got tattoos,” she explained. “Well, everyone but Abby, and it had been her idea. I think she came up with it for Molly and Colleen, to distract them because their dad was so sick then. We all piled into her car and drove to Grand Rapids. But thanks to Rory ratting us out, Clayton caught up with us before Abby got hers.”

Remembering that day, thinking how happy Molly and Colleen had been after so much stress and sadness, filled her with guilt and regret. “You’ve never seen Molly’s tattoo?”

“Molly and I never…”

She lifted her gaze to his face, hope pounding in her chest again. “You never made love?”

“We were going to wait until…”

“Your honeymoon?” No wonder he’d rushed the wedding. Sweet, old-fashioned Molly. “But you never even…”

“Made out?” He shook his head. “Our relationship wasn’t about this.” He gestured toward her, his eyes hot with desire.

“What’s
this?
” She wanted to know, needing an explanation.

“Passion.”

“Lust.” Wishing that was all she felt for him.

“It’s not like that. It’s more. There’s more here between us…” He shook his head. “Maybe I am crazy.”

“You’re not the only one. This isn’t me. I can’t, but I can’t
not…
”

“Can I see your tattoo?” he asked, his eyes wide with curiosity and hope, just like one of his sons using little-boy cuteness to con another cookie from Mama. Or her. God help her, she wanted to give him all her cookies.

Biting her lip, she lowered her arms so he could see the small tattoo on the outer side of one breast.

“It’s a cupcake?”

“I have always loved sweets.”

He dipped his head, and the tip of his tongue traced the pink-frosted cupcake. “Sweet,” he murmured.

“Josh…”

His lips slid over the slope of her breast right to the nipple, which he drew into his mouth.

She bit her lip to hold back a moan and reached up, her hands catching onto the pot rack that was over their heads. She clutched the metal and held tight as his mouth moved to the other breast. His fingers stroked the wet nipple of the abandoned one. It wasn’t enough, and she wanted more. She lifted her legs and wound them around his waist, pulling his hips tight against hers. His erection strained his jeans. She shifted into him and he groaned.

He obviously wanted more, too.

“Josh…”

He lifted his head, his gaze hot and hungry for her. “What do you want, Brenna?”

Before she could answer him, the screen door slammed shut and someone stepped into the foyer. A soft, feminine McClintock voice called out, “Hello?”

“Oh, God, it’s Molly,” Brenna gasped. Scrambling from the counter, she jerked the pot rack she’d been holding onto. Pots and pans rattled, and one fell…on Josh.

On her way to the stairs she glanced back, taking in Josh’s stunned expression. From the pan or from the shock of what they had very nearly done?

Josh pressed his palms flat against the granite counter, willing his breathing to settle and his heart to stop pounding.

“You okay?” Colleen McClintock, his fiancée’s younger sister, asked tentatively as she joined him in the kitchen.

Hell, no. Not after what had just happened—or had just about happened. While his body hummed with frustrated sexual energy, he also breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t even officially unengaged yet. He had no right to kiss Brenna as he’d kissed her. And certainly no right to want more. “Yeah, sure…”

Colleen stepped forward and kicked one of the pans that had fallen to the floor when Brenna had rattled the rack, which still swayed on the chains suspending it from the ceiling.

“It must have fallen,” he murmured.

When Colleen turned away to put it in the sink, Josh surreptitiously rubbed the lump on the back of his head where the frying pan had made contact.
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
He suppressed a nervous chuckle over the irreverent thought.

“Where is everyone?” Colleen asked as she turned around to face him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kelly took the boys into town.” To the park. But he’d heard something about a promise of ice cream, too. They’d probably be gone a while yet, leaving him alone even longer with their daughter. He should be glad Colleen had arrived when she had.

“And Brenna. Where is she?” her friend asked.

“Uh, Brenna had to…” He noticed her emerald-green bra on the floor at his feet. It was too big for him to hide beneath his shoe, and Colleen might notice his kicking it aside. So he willed her not to look down. “Brenna went upstairs, I think,” he stammered. Because she’d thought the intruder was Molly. Guilt flashed through him over the horrible spot in which he’d put them both.

Colleen narrowed her eyes and studied him thoughtfully. “Is everything okay here?”

Josh’s gaze slid away from hers, to the bra lying on the hardwood floor. Heat rose to his face. He felt as he had as a teenager when his parents had caught him and his girlfriend necking on the couch in the basement rec room, embarrassed but also ready to explode with frustration. “Uh…”

“Because if it’s not, you and the boys can stay with us,” she offered. “Rory can sleep in the family room. It’s really not a problem. If not for the superstition, my mother would have had you stay with us anyway.”

“Maybe she was right to be superstitious,” he admitted. But even if they hadn’t broken tradition, he doubted the wedding would have happened.

“So, you saw Molly before the wedding.”

Thinking of her maid of honor and not Molly, his face flushed. He’d put Brenna in an impossible position. He had to tell her that he hadn’t proposed to Molly out of love. That he’d…what? Proposed out of friendship, selfishness? Hell, maybe it was better if she thought love had motivated his proposal. “Uh…”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry,” Colleen said, her voice even softer with the apology.

She’d been volunteering at the hospital for years, in the pediatric cancer ward. She was a sweet girl, and while she was shy with adults she was wonderfully animated with children. He had an uneasy feeling that she was the bridesmaid Nick intended to work on with that picnic lunch.

“She’s your sister. You’re not prying. Really,” he insisted, not wanting her to feel badly about asking questions, when she had every right to do so.

Her face flushed pink. “She is my sister. I thought I knew her pretty well. It isn’t like Molly to take off the way she did, without any warning.”

“She didn’t,” Josh assured her, recognizing the worship of her older sister. Nick had felt the same way about his big brother, and so Josh understood even though he had no siblings of his own. “I mean, I had some warning.”

“You knew she might change her mind?”

Footsteps sounded overhead and a door closed. Brenna had fled the kitchen, fled him and rushed upstairs the minute Colleen had called out. Did she know now that it was not Molly, but Colleen, who sounded similar to her older sister?

He lifted his chin. Staring at the ceiling, he admitted, “I knew.”

“Then why…”

Hadn’t he cancelled the wedding? He shrugged. They should have, the night before the ceremony. Molly had admitted to having doubts, to being scared, and he’d known after meeting Brenna that he never would have fallen in love with Molly.

“You don’t want to talk about it,” she guessed. “I understand.”

“That makes one person.”

“What? Is someone pressuring you?” She nodded as she answered her own question. “Oh. Nick.”

“Yes. Nick.” Josh pushed a hand through his hair. The bump had gone down some, but fortunately the hit had been hard enough to knock some sense into his head. “He doesn’t understand.”

“I’m sorry. I know he’s your best friend, but…”

“He means well,” Josh defended him. “He may not understand me, but I think I understand him. We go back a long way. He loves me like a brother.” Josh sighed. “That’s why he’s pressuring me to leave Cloverville. He’s worried that I might do something crazy.”

And like always, Nick had been damn smart to worry. Damn, Josh hated when his friend was right.

“I thought he considered staying in Cloverville crazy.”

“Oh, God,” Josh said with a groan. “I’m not the only one he’s pressuring. I saw the two of you on the dance floor last night. I should have known what he was up to.”

“That he only asked me to dance to find out where my sister is?”

“I didn’t mean
that.
” He shook his head, disgusted with his tactlessness.

Colleen was a sweet girl, a
beautiful
girl. Nick had every reason to be interested in her, but knowing Nick, he probably had only one thing in mind—finding her sister. His best friend was under the mistaken assumption that Josh would leave Cloverville if he talked to Molly. And even though Josh probably should, he couldn’t break his promise to the boys.

“That didn’t sound right,” he corrected himself. “But you have to know Nick. He’s really single-minded.”

“I know.”

“No, Colleen, you don’t know him. No matter how many years you’ve been volunteering at the hospital, you don’t know Nick,” Josh said, not wanting the young woman to get hurt. “He lets very few people get close to him.”

“You.”

“Like I said, we go back a long way. I knew him before…” Before his brother had died, before Nick had shut himself off. “I knew him before he got like this.”

“Like
this?
”

“Determined to go it alone, to never get involved with anyone.” Josh had thought Nick crazy, but now he realized
he
was the crazy one, desperately trying to find a lasting relationship, like his folks and Brenna’s parents had.

“I know,” Colleen assured him. “I have been volunteering at the hospital for a few years now. I’ve heard all the gossip about Dr. Jameson.”

Josh nodded. “The sad part is that all the rumors are true. He may date, but he’s never really had a serious relationship.”

“I understand not wanting to fall in love. The risk is too great.”

Josh laughed. Even this young girl understood that. Why had he been so slow?

“I
S SHE GONE
?” Brenna asked as she joined Josh in the kitchen. She’d exchanged her sundress for a lightweight sweater and a long denim skirt. The weather had grown cooler as dark clouds rolled across the sky. If only her attraction to Josh could cool off as easily.

He sat on one of the stools at the island, his head in his hands. “Yes. It was
Colleen,
you know.”

She’d realized that after the initial shock of hearing a female McClintock voice and thinking that Molly was about to catch them. She understood Josh’s actions—he was hurting. So he either needed a balm for his ego and heart or he was lashing out at Molly and using her “second” to get back at her. But what was Brenna’s excuse?

Guilt pressed against her chest as embarrassment heated her face. She’d never been one of those girls—those competitive girls who tried to steal her friends’ boyfriends. While she was often bossy with her friends, she’d never been into competing.

“I realize it was Colleen,” she admitted. But still she hadn’t been able to face her. The girl had known her too long not to have realized that something had happened to rattle Brenna, to shake her to the core.

“What did she want?” she asked of Colleen, when she really wanted to ask the question of him, as well. What did he want? To marry Molly?

“You,” he said. “She wanted to talk to you.”

And instead Brenna had hidden upstairs. Her shame grew as she realized she’d betrayed two of her friends. “Was she all right?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. We talked for a while.”

Brenna sighed. “She’s probably so worried about Molly. She idolizes her older sister.”

“I can see that. But we didn’t talk about Molly.”

Her breath caught. “You didn’t tell her what we, about…”

“We talked about Nick.”

“Nick?” She nodded. “I thought he might try to pry Molly’s whereabouts out of Colleen. He has no idea how well that girl can keep a secret.”

Josh grinned. “Actually, he has no idea what he’s really doing.”

“What do you think he’s doing?”

“I think he’s falling for her.”

Poor Nick. Brenna, too, was learning how that felt, how out-of-control.

“What about Colleen?” She’d have to call her friend later. But she couldn’t wait to talk to her. “How do you think she feels about him?”

“Wary.”

“She’s a smart girl,” Brenna said.

“I warned her about Nick.”

She tensed with concern for her friend. “Is he a womanizer?”

Josh laughed. “No, pretty much just the opposite. He’s extremely careful to
not
get involved.” A grin spread across Josh’s face. “But I think he may not have a choice this time.”

“You really think he’s interested in her.”

Josh nodded. “Of course, he doesn’t realize that yet. Right now he’s just trying to find out where Molly is.”

“What would you do if you knew where Molly was?” she asked.

His eyes narrowed. “Nick was right again. Damn him. You
do
know where she is.”

Unable to face Josh as she evaded the question, she lowered her gaze to the granite counter on which, just a short while ago, they’d been kissing…and more. “We’re not talking about what I know.”

Because she had no idea what she was thinking anymore, or why she wasn’t able to suppress her attraction to her best friend’s fiancé. Heck, she didn’t even know why she was attracted to him at all, since he wasn’t available. “What if Nick finds out and tells you?”

“Would I storm over to Eric South’s and push my way inside?”

Shocked, her head shot up. “Then you know where she is.”

His eyes gleamed. “Yeah.”

“Did Colleen tell you?” But she doubted that her young friend would have given up her sister’s whereabouts. Colleen was more loyal than Brenna had proved to be.

“
You
told me.” He grinned. “Yesterday, as we headed to the dance floor, you mentioned that she might be with one friend. Since he’d backed out of being in the wedding party, Eric South was the only friend who wasn’t there.”

So she’d betrayed Molly even before she’d kissed Josh. “So? What are you going to do? Don’t you want to talk to her?”

“Molly and I talked the night before the wedding,” he reminded Brenna. “So I wasn’t surprised she changed her mind about marrying me.”

“You said she was having doubts, and yet you didn’t call off the wedding.”

He sighed. “She probably would have called off the wedding that night, if not for fear of disappointing everyone.”

That sounded like Molly. “Oh…”

“She’s not going to change her mind,” he said. “I think she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Well, if we hadn’t talked the night before the wedding, I probably would have gotten my first clue when she went out the window,” he said, his voice full of wry amusement rather than anger. “So whatever Molly wants time to think about, I doubt that it’s me. The wedding-that-wasn’t,” he said, “is clearly the wedding-that-will-never-be.”

Brenna shook her head, unwilling to accept that things were really over between the groom and his intended bride. “She probably just got cold feet. She may come back and want to marry you.”

“But I don’t want to marry her now.”

“You’re just mad,” she insisted, although she could find no trace of anger in his voice or on his face.

“I’m not mad.” He pushed his hand through his hair, and then ran it over the back of his neck. “I don’t love her.”

She furrowed her brow, unable to comprehend. “But why did you ask her to marry you, then?”

“Molly’s a great person. She and I connected as if we’d known each other forever.”

An ache spread through Brenna’s chest. “You’re sure you don’t love her?”

His gaze met hers, and held. “Yes.”

Hope should have lifted Brenna’s spirit, but her feelings of responsibility weighed too heavily yet.
Poor Molly.

He sighed. “So Molly did the right thing.”

“At least someone has.”

Josh looked at her squarely, his eyes as full of regret as her heart was. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have…” He gestured toward the counter, where they’d kissed, and he blew out an agitated breath. “Twice now, I…”

Came on to her? She wasn’t exactly crying sexual harassment. He hadn’t crossed that line alone.

“I’ve turned into Mr. Hyde,” he continued.

“What have I turned into?” Brenna wondered, her head aching as if the frying pan had struck her, too. “You may think you don’t love Molly, now that she left you at the altar. But I love her and I can’t believe what
I
did. You’re Molly’s fiancé. I’m her best friend, her maid of
honor.
”

“I’m leaving,” he said. That would be best for both of them, even though he hated to disappoint the boys again.

“You’re going back to Grand Rapids?”

“No.” He shook his head. “We’re not going back.”

He was going forward. He hoped. He would put aside his crazy fantasy of happily-ever-after. That might work for other people, such as his folks, and hopefully even for Nick and Colleen. He only screwed things up. He was not going to attempt the third strike, when he was already out. “I called my Realtor to see if I could move into the house early.”