Forbidden Paths (8 page)

Chapter Nine

Logan

Here she was again. Almost three months since I saw her last. She looks nervous. Definitely not the confident, sexy, irresistible woman from before.

“Hey,” I take her hands in mine. “What’s wrong?”

She looks down at our hands. “Have you ever wanted something so bad and then life steps in?” She asks in a whisper.

I snort. “Yeah.”

Definitely knew what she means there without her having to explain any of it. Faith is my something and her family took her away from me without even giving a thought to how Faith may or may not have felt.

“I fell in love with the most amazing man that I’ve ever met before in my life. He made living worth it. My home life was far from glamorous. But then reality yanked him away from me taking my heart with him.”

“And you’ve never gotten over him?”

She shakes her head and I feel a tear hit our hands. Hmm, guess I’m not the only one in the world stuck on someone we can’t have. Nice not to be in the party alone, but sad that this vibrant woman had to suffer. If she’s nearly as bad as I am then I feel for her.

“You probably think that I’m some sick freak to sell myself to any available man, but the thing is,” she looks up and meets my eyes.

The sadness in her eyes broke me.
Sick freak?
Is that what people thought of her? Sure I may not understand her reasoning behind it, but I’ve paid for her services twice… so really we are not much different.

“It gave me an out. A way that it might be possible to escape and…” Her voice breaks and another tear hit our hands.

“And find him?” I guess.

She nods sadly. “That was what I wanted at first. That was the big goal, but then the more that time has passed, I think he’s probably found someone else. He’s too incredible not to have someone amazing by his side.”

“How long has it been?”

“Five years, eight months, three weeks and two days, not that I’ve been counting,” she laughs, the heartbreak thick in her voice and laughter.

“You sound like me,” I laugh cynically.

Then the date hit me hard and fast. I stare at her, shock registers plain as day on my face.

“Faith?” I breathe.

Her head snaps up and our eyes meet. I see the shock, fear, and what… relief?

With shaking hands, I reach up for her mask and slowly pull it off. There staring back at me is Faith, the woman who has owned my heart for almost six years.

“Oh my God,” I breathe.

Pulling my mask off my head and dropping them both to the floor. She stands and backs toward the door, shaking her head.

“Logan…” she breathes as she continues to walk backward.

The way my name sounds coming from her lips does the same thing that it always does to me and I shiver.

“I’m sorry,” she almost sobs and turns and runs from the room.

I sat there momentarily stunned. She was running again. And I was letting her.

Fuck that!

She wasn’t getting away from me again. I love her too much to let that happen again. I wasn’t going to spend six more years wondering what could have been. Getting my bearings, I run after her.

“Faith!” I yell as I chase after her.

Running quickly down the stairs, I glance into the living room, but she wasn’t there. Just faintly I hear the front door close. Hurrying around the corner, my feet slide across the rug causing me to fall to the floor smacking my head, but I quickly pull myself up and take off out the front door.

“Faith!”

Just ahead running down the drive, I can just make out her figure. I bolt. There’s no way I’m letting her get away this time. It was time for answers, time for… whatever lay ahead of us.

My feet move quickly toward her. My breathing erratic and not just from the run. How could she run from me? Of course, I thought the same thing when she ran the first time. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be?

“Faith! Stop, please!” I yell gaining on her.

Damn she’s in heels. How the hell does she run that fast?

She stops and turns to face me. I slow and stop just a few steps from her.

“What? What else do you need to say? You’re shudder was pretty clear enough,” she chokes out.

My shudder?

“What are you talking…” Then it hit me. “No, that wasn’t a shudder.”

She puts her hands on her hips and gives me a look of disbelief. “Then what do you fucking call it?”

Ah! There’s my girl. The thought makes me smile. When her face hardens, I know she’s misconstruing that too.

“Sorry. Whenever you say my name it… it…” I’m suddenly embarrassed, which is absurd.

Faith doesn’t seem to be letting me off the hook either. “It what?”

If I’m not mistaken there’s a bit of a smirk on her beautiful lips. Looking down at the ground, I kick an invisible rock.

“It turns me on,” I mumble.

I hear her gasp and it causes me to look up.

“It does?”

“Yes, it always has,” I say softly.

“Wow,” she breathes.

We stand there in an awkward silence for a moment or two before I see her shiver.

“Can we go inside and talk? You’re cold. Please.”

After a moment or two, she finally nods her head and we turn and start walking inside. I want to wrap my arm around her. To pull her into my arms and never let her go. But it has been six years. Six very long years. A lot has happened, probably more to her than me, but either way. We have a lot to talk about.

Once we reach the house, I can hear the telltale signs of the others having sex. I groan inwardly. If I hadn’t been so concerned with finding out why she ran, we’d be making love again…

Whoa, wait! Making love?

Shaking my head, I hold the door open to my room for her.  She walks in almost careful not to touch me. I motion for her to sit on my bed and I pull the blanket around her.

Pulling a chair over in front of her, I swallow hard. “Let’s talk.”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment.

“What do you want to know?”

“Are you married?” I ask bluntly.

Her head snaps up and she glares at me.

“Really? You think I’m that kind of person to be married and sleep around with other guys regardless of how much I hate him?”

“I never thought you’d sell your body to begin with, so…”

She sighs. “After you left… After I left, I was in a major depression. I didn’t care about anything anymore. My life wasn’t mine and I wasn’t allowed to have a say in it. I hated myself. Beau would check in on me constantly, afraid of my state of mind.”

She looks up at me and my heart constricted in my chest.

“I was heartbroken. The one thing I wanted was taken from me.”

“Yes, but you could have stayed. We could have left together. You
chose
to leave me.”

Her eyes drop down to her hands again. She’s playing with her nails.

“Yeah I did choose. I chose to save you instead of myself. I chose to protect you, sacrificing my own heart,” she says sadly.

“Your own heart,” I gasp. “You shattered mine into a million pieces when you ran from me.
You
hurt me more than your irate father ever could have. The pain you inflicted on me that day has stayed with me all these years,” I hiss unintentionally, but the pain consumes me.

Our eyes meet again and I see what looks like loss in her eyes.
Loss?

“I know, but you don’t know much about my father. Hell,
I
don’t know much about my father. I’ve only been finding out bits and pieces over the years. That day, when I left, he threatened you, your life, if I didn’t walk away.”

She lifts her hand to wipe away her tears, sighing.

“Whether you believe me or not, that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hurt myself just as much, maybe even more because
I’m
the one that walked away. There’s not been a day that I’ve not relived that, saw your face, felt the pain. Beau kept me away from the river for a while.”

I laugh sadly. “I found that out. I still went to the river for a while after that day. I guess he got tired of me showing up and told me that if I came back the next day that he’d let your dad know that I was there. So I came back and he told me that you were hurting too, but for your sake to stay away.”

Faith hangs her head and shakes it slowly. “Things haven’t been the best for me. I found out not long after walking away that he had a wife and kids. There’s money or something being exchanged for our wedding. I just haven’t nailed down what. That’s when I decided if they wanted to make me look stupid, I’d do the same. So I called Lia and told her I wanted to do it. Believe it or not, but it saved me.”

She meets my eyes and I can see she’s not telling me everything. Her eyes have always been so expressive.

“Saved you? How?” I ask hoping she’ll tell me.

She takes a deep breath. “Are… Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yes.”

But for whatever reason, I wasn’t so sure I did.

“Tony was raping me and beating me any chance he could get.”

The chair hit the wall as I quickly stand. My hands go to my hair as I pull at it. Biting hard on my lip to keep from screaming, I pace back and forth. I’m livid. He put his hands on my girl. Worse yet, I let her be put in that position.

Faith continues speaking as if I hadn’t reacted.

“So after I found out about his family and I called Lia, I just didn’t care anymore. While I was out doing ‘appointments’, he couldn’t touch me. Sadly, those times didn’t give me what a moment with you does,” she ends softly.

“Faith…” my voice cracks as I look at her.

She stands from the bed, knocking the blanket from her shoulders. The look on her face was fear and heartache. As she nears me, she lifts her hand in a gesture that told me that she wants to touch me, but she stops herself obviously thinking it may not be welcome.

“I know this is a lot of information for you to take on. Just so you know when we shared our night last… I hadn’t been with anyone in months. Tony or otherwise. I’ll go so you can process everything. If you want to talk more, I’m staying with Lia.”

She starts to walk toward the door, but before she leaves she turns around and gives me a sad smile.

“I never stopped loving you.”

Faith stares at me a moment then nods and walks out of the room. This time, I let her. There was so much I need to process, to think about. Could we actually be here right now ready to reconnect and mend our souls?

The thought of letting her walk out the door tightened my gut so painfully that I felt the urge to throw up, but I couldn’t keep her here until I knew what I want and need from her. Can we both look past the past six years and move toward our future together?

Soon I hear the car they all had come here in, start up and drive away. Collecting myself, I head downstairs to find me a drink. I need to find a way to clear my head.

I was just pulling a beer from the fridge when Leif walks into the kitchen.

“Whoa man, I thought you’d be with your woman all night. You’ve not stopped talking about her.”

“Yeah, well she’s given me a lot to think about.”

“Think? Dude you know that head doesn’t really have a brain right?”

I glare at Leif.

“Don’t be a dipshit,” I hiss. “I know who she is now.”

“Oh and you aren’t happy with that?”

Resting my arms on the counter, I drop my head between them. “It’s Faith,” I whisper.

“Wait, what?”

I turn and face him. “My mystery girl is Faith,” I say softly.

“Oh shit,” Leif breathes.

“What am I supposed to do? What
should
I do?”

Chapter Ten

Faith

Two days later…

It’s been two days since I saw Logan. Since I walked away yet again. This time though, I wanted him to stop me, but he didn’t. He didn’t make a move. My heart broke even more.

I’ve not left my room since coming home. Lia’s tried to talk to me since we got back, but I’ve just wanted to be left alone. Curled up in bed, that’s where I plan on staying.

“Knock, knock, knock,” says a far too chipper Lia.

Groaning, I pull the blankets over my head as I roll over facing the wall. The room that Lia has moved me into is small. My bed has to be pushed up against the wall in order for me to have walking room. There’s carpet and linoleum – peel and stick, if I remember correctly – for the flooring, and peeling wall papered walls.

Lia’s house was spectacular. This was just one of the rooms she hadn’t remodeled yet. She told me that I could do whatever I wanted to it, but I thought that I’d be out of here sooner than I have been. Lia seems in no hurry for me to go.

I think she likes having the company. A break from all the silence that surrounds her. She talks about nothing to no one. Even I don’t know her whole story and she claims me to be her sister.

“Come on, girl. Talk to us,” Lia says.

Us?

Pulling the blankets down just enough to see Hazel and Lia at the end of my bed.

“No. Go away.”

Lia growls and pulls the blankets off me. With laughter in her and Hazel’s eyes, they stare down at me with their hands on their hips.

“Oh, fine! I’ll talk just give me the blankets back,” I whine.

Scooting up to a seated position, Lia tosses the blankets at me. They sit down and wait for me to start
.

“Logan is my mystery guy,” I breathe.

Their mouths drop open in shock and I feel good knowing they didn’t know who he was… but then that doesn’t make sense.

“Why are you so shocked, Lia? You said you knew who he was.”

“Logan? As in the Logan you are madly in love with and had ripped out of your life because of your sick as family? The Logan that you were never supposed to meet according to Beau. That Logan was the mystery guy from the party?”

“Yes,” I say slowly and drawn out, confused by her reaction. “You said you knew their names, Lia.”

Shaking her head, she looks at me briefly. “That wasn’t the name used. Roger, Carl, and Barney were the names given. Damn,” she breaths.

Her eyes wide with shock.

“I guess that would make sense. You did say that the reason for these parties is because they aren’t comfortable with paying for sex,” I say more to myself than to either of them.

“What happened?” Hazel asks, placing her hand on mine.

“He wanted to know why I took off while he was sleeping when we had both agreed we wanted to go again. So I went cryptic and told him my story and explained why I took off. Then suddenly he’s staring at me and reaching for my mask and saying my name. I took off, he chased me. We went back inside and talked. He asked questions and I answered them honestly. Then I walked away telling him I was staying with you if he wanted to talk,” I shrug.

The girls were quiet for a moment. I’m sure they didn’t know what to say and really I didn’t expect them to say anything. This was my mess. I created it by leaving him to begin with. It was my fault and I had to deal with it.

“Did you tell him you were pregnant?” Hazel asks quietly after a moment.

I shake my head. “No, he was already overloaded with seeing me there…”

“Wow,” was all Lia could say.

She seems to be elsewhere, lost in thought. Hmmm. But whatever it is she quickly snaps out of it.

“You’re going to tell him, aren’t you?” Hazel asks.

I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s been two days and he hasn’t called or came by. Maybe he…” My voice trails off as a new bout of tears spring to my eyes.

Lia leans forward and takes my hand. “Maybe he… what?”

“Maybe he can’t get past the fact that I sold my body? I told him that I hadn’t had sex with anyone for a few months before we did at the last masked ball,” I shrug again.

“I think that night was a wakeup call for all of us,” Hazel mutters.

“What happened to you? Were you hurt?” Lia immediately on defense.

“No,” she drops her head and I see her smile sadly.

“What then,” I ask, a sharp pain shooting through my head.

“The guy I was with… He told me he thinks he’s falling in love with me,” she whispers.

“Oh my! What did you say?” I ask, curious.

“I told him the truth. That he couldn’t love me because I was a whore,” she says barely above a whisper.

“Oh Hazel. You’re not a whore. If you’re anything, you’re lost. You always said that you believed this was your way to find love. The man you were meant to be with. What if it’s this guy?”

“We’ve only met two times though,” she says in disbelief.

“I had just met Logan and I felt this,” I cough. “I felt this pull to him. Undeniable and I couldn’t explain it. I don’t think there’s a time stamp sweetie. We all have soul mates out there. Our one forever, that no amount of time of knowing someone… it’s there and always will be.”

“Did you feel anything for him?”

“Yes,” she squeaks. “But last time I trusted them…”

“Oh beautiful. You can’t base your future on past mistakes. If you do…” I groan closing my eyes.

My whole body ached. My heart was racing causing my head to spin. Licking my suddenly dry lips, I tip my head back and wait for it to pass. When I lower my head down, I’m met with confused stares by Hazel and Lia.

“If you let your past lead the way then you’ll have no new experiences,” I say breathlessly.

Lia looks at me and her face changes. She leans forward placing her hand on my forehead.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Not really, which is why I was lying in bed,” I glare at the pair of them.

Lia and Hazel stand up. Suddenly they transform into nurses. Lia left and grabs a thermometer. While Hazel makes me lay down and tucks the blanket around me.

Lia frowns at the thermometer. “You’re running a fever.”

Hazel hands me a cup of water and some meds. I take them without protesting. Finally, I could go back to sleep.

They leave the room in hushed voices and I close my eyes quickly drifting off.

# # #

Lia

“Haz?” I call from my room.

“Yeah?” She pops her head in my room.

“I’m going out for a minute. Can you keep an eye on Faith or do you have plans today?”

She smiles sadly. “No plans and of course I will.”

Grabbing the last few things I need, I head for the door.

“I won’t be gone long. If she gets worse let me know okay?”

“Yes mommy,” she smiles kindly at me.

Hugging her, I left. I am a woman on a mission. A woman ready to beat the shit out of a man for breaking my sister’s heart…again. Hopping in my BMW E550, I fire up the car. Its gentle hum calms me and fuels me at the same time. This was my favorite purchase. She’s red with a black roof. It was nice when I can lower the roof. It seats four very comfortably. It was my baby and I love it.

Today, however, gentle and calm as I normally am with her, was not happening. Not caring if I get pulled over or not, I speed off. It was a twenty minute drive from here to Logan’s. The journey only served to spike up my already borderline rage.

Thinking back to that night, a smile spreads across my face. Though I’m irritated about being lied to, I’m thrilled beyond belief right now. Being in love with a guy…

No, I can’t think about that right now. I needed to stay angry. Angry was what Logan deserves right now. Looking behind me, I check to make sure I can make my merge and then floor it.

“Who the hell do you think you are,” I yell the minute the door opens.

Imagine my surprise when it’s Leif and not Logan.
Shit!

“Um, Leif,” he says with that sexy as sin smirk he has.

“Where’s Logan?” I huff.

His face drops a little. “At work.”

“Text me where,” I yell over my shoulder heading down the steps.

“You look beautiful, Lia,” I just hear him say.

My heart stutters in my chest. Looking over my shoulder, there was something on his face, something different. The breath whooshes from my chest.

You reading too far into a look, you whore!
A voice inside my head screams. Managing a small smile, I take him in. He’s wearing some sort of work out shorts, his amazingly naked, toned, unbelievably mouthwatering chest. His hair was messed up and damp.

“You look as sexy as ever,” I say softly with a sad smile on my face.

His face changes when I say this and he starts to walk toward me.

“Lia…”

“I’ve got to go. I’m going to kick your brother’s ass,” I hiss.

He laughs. “Are we still on for Friday? I really need to talk to you.”

“Of course. I can’t wait,” I say softly. “Text me where please.”

Hurrying around my car, I jump in. Starting it up, I slip on my seatbelt and take one last longing look at Leif before pulling out of the drive. A few moments later, my phone signals a text.

From: Leif

To: Lia

Take a left onto the highway, go toward downtown. Turn left on Spencer. Drive until you reach a T. Turn right follow all the way to the end and you’ll see James Construction right at the end. On the right hand side you’ll see a guard shack. Tell Howard that I sent you, you’ll be sent right over to my brother. Xo

Staring at the last to letters of his text. My heart is hammering in my chest. Two letters from the man I have loved from the day I met him… mean far more to me than any of the men pledging to love me.

From: Lia

To: Leif

Thank you. You may not want me to use your name. It’s not going to be pretty. :P XO

Giving him back what he was giving. Maybe I shouldn’t tread this line. Leif, outside of Fay, was my only friend. I’ve always been able to count on him. I’m willing to spend the rest of my life secretly in love with him if it means he’s still by my side.

From: Leif

To: Lia

Man you really need to record this. Tell Howie to record it. LOL I miss you. xx

Oh my God! Why can’t he see me the way I see him? To be loved by this man…

From: Lia

To: Leif

I’ll think about it. I gotta go now. ILY xx

Oh shit! I just fucking sent that to him. Oh my God! Tossing my phone into the seat next to me, I turn onto the highway and head for the ass beating that is about to take place. Shaking my head, I ignored my phone buzzing next to me. I’m never going to be able to look at him again.

Soon I’m pulling up to the guard shack. Just as Leif had explained, Howie gladly took me over to Logan.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” I rant as I start toward him.

He spins around. “Lia? What are you doing…”

Smacking him across the face, effectively cutting his sentence off, I’m livid.

“Whoa!” Another burly looking guy comes over and steps between us.

“You and I need to talk… NOW!” I hiss, venom thick in my voice like smoke in a fire.