For Whom the Minivan Rolls (32 page)

“
I thoroughly enjoyed
Minivan,
which is replete with LOLLs (Laugh Out Loud
Lines). Some of my favorites: a) When receiving a threatening phone
call, Aaron Tucker answers, ‘Who is this?’, as if the caller would
actually identify himself. b) ‘It would never occur to a New Jersey
driver to park his car, even when trailing a pedestrian.’ c) ‘It’s
hard to be macho when avoiding unnecessary carbohydrates’; d) ‘It’s
better to get killed than sued.’ So as not to overindulge myself as
a blurber, and to avoid author complaints, I’ll stop there. Suffice
it to say, Jeffrey Cohen has written a very funny story and infused
it with an awful lot of laugh-out-loud material!” —John Homans,
aka Wilber Winkle, author of
Wilber Winkle
Has a Complaint

“
I loved
For Whom The Minivan
Rolls.
The characters were quirky and endearing, the plot
kept me guessing, and the jokes were funny. I hope Aaron Tucker has
a good, long career of not being a private investigator, so he can
come back in more books like this one.”

—
Marcy Gross,
Gross-Weston
Productions, Inc.

“
Bringing a new and upbeat voice to the
much-populated mystery scene, author Jeff Cohen has succeeded in
doing what many another writer knows not even to attempt— tell an
engaging mystery in a humorous way.
Minivan
is thus not only an easy read, but a breath of fresh air for all
of us desperate to briefly escape the real world. It thoroughly
entertained me for the few hours it took to read it.”

—
Shauna Kelley,
student,
Goucher College

“
This book is a hoot. I laughed. I didn’t know
who dunnit. It made me want to tell other people to read it. Here’s
a hero who shows his mettle by moving away from the buffet table,
and by making those little extra efforts to be a good dad and
husband that most men don’t bother with any more. When he puts
himself on the line, it isn’t just another day at the office. And
you talk about sexy—give me a man who fills up the dishwasher and
I’m there. I not only like that, I want to know more! I hardly ever
read fiction any more because it’s just no fun. . . I
prefer true crime personally. But this Jeff Cohen is a different
sort of egg who might turn me into a ‘mystery junkie’ even though I
swore no one ever would. Please consider this my highest
endorsement for a fine read and good story, with plenty of mirth on
the side.”

—
Phyllis Murphy,
story editor,
NBC’s “Profiler,” and personal friend of Ted L. Nancy (Author,
“Letters from a Nut”)

“
With
Minivan,
Jeff
Cohen takes the mystery genre and stirs in a generous helping of
laughs. He’s created a character whose voice is as much fun as the
story he’s telling. After only a couple hundred pages, Aaron Tucker
already feels like an old friend. I’m looking forward to spending a
lot more time with him.”

—
Ian Abrams,
creator of the TV
series “Early Edition,” and head of the Drexel University dramatic
writing program

“
Minivan
is a delightful and
diverting read. Its chief character, Aaron Tucker, amusingly
reminds me of John Corey, Nelson Demille’s smart-alecky NYPD
homicide cop. I find Demille’s stuff to be great and irresistible
fun. Likewise
Minivan!”

—
Dr. Ellen Taylor,
Pikesville,
MD

“
Against his better judgment, a short,
middle-aged, Jewish family man and freelance writer gets tossed
into his first detective work, whereupon he must tap into every
resource he knows to keep his head above water. It’s so hard to
write funny. For me, a true mysteryholic, finding a really funny
mystery writer is something to tell the world about. Jeff Cohen,
where have you been all these years?”

—
Ginny Levin,
President, Oheb
Shalom Sisterhood, Batlimore, MD

First of all, I’d like to thank the Academy and all
the little people who made me what I am today. It’s not easy being
a first-time author, but luckily, you only have to do it once.

There are a few people I would like to acknowledge
by name, however: first of all, to Jessica, Josh, and Evie, thanks
for letting me borrow their personalities and exaggerate them so
Aaron would have a story to tell. And to Jeff Pollitzer, for being
much too good a best friend not to write about.

Thanks to my mother, for instilling in me a love of
a good story and the thrill of reading, and to my father, who loved
mysteries. I wish he could have read this one. To my brother,
thanks for taking my writing seriously way back when.

Of course, thank you to Bruce Bortz, for taking a
first-time author and making him a published author, and for
raising his own concerns and listening to mine.

To voters for the Edgar Awards: the checks are in
the mail, but don’t let that sway you. They’ll probably bounce
anyway.

There are people in the town where I live (and don’t
think for a second I’m going to tell you where that is) who will
recognize themselves in this book. With the exceptions I’ve
mentioned above, they are all dead wrong; I made everybody up. But
hopefully, they’ll still buy the book to find that out.

I’d like to express my gratitude to everyone who
encouraged me to write this book, but since nobody knew I was
working on it, that would be a very short list. Aaron’s story was
originally going to be a screenplay, so I’d like to thank all the
producers who wouldn’t have bought it for convincing me I should
write a novel instead.

For general encouragement, thanks to Lou Grantt, Ken
Walz, my agent Amy Winokur, Judy Storch, Leonard Nimoy (although
I’m sure he wouldn’t remember), Marcy Gross, Ann Weston, Chrissy
Blumenthal, and all my writer friends at PAGE.

And because I can’t say it enough, thanks to my
wonderful wife for believing in me, even when she shouldn’t.

Author Jeffrey Cohen has been a full-time
freelance writer/reporter for 16 years, and has written more than
20 feature-length screenplays. His work has been published in
The New York Times, TV Guide,
and
Entertainment Weekly,
among many others, and
his screenplays have been optioned by Jim Henson Productions, CBS,
and Gross-Weston Productions, among others.

He lives in New Jersey, with his wife and two
children.

He is a graduate of Rutgers, the State University of
New Jersey.

For Whom The Minivan Rolls,
Cohen’s first novel, is the first in a planned series of Aaron
Tucker Mysteries.