For the Love of Ash (42 page)

Luke

Friday rolled around, and I welcomed it. I didn't have to act in class anymore or pretend to be fine for my siblings. I huddled into my apartment, eating old ranch dressing with stale pickle chips, and watching the news. At least it was more depressing than my life.
 

Me
: I hate the smell of pickles, you know?

I had been texting Maggie probably once an hour at least. Every time I had a thought, I just wanted to tell her about it. I missed talking to her. Despite the fact that people were surrounding me from eight to four every day, I had never felt more alone.
 

And I was empty handed.
 

Nothing I could ever do was going to make this better. She said it to me that we would never be together again. But this sick part in the bottom of my stomach wouldn't believe it.
 

I could still make this better. I had to hold onto some shred of hope that I could get my life back on track. I wasn't lying when I said she gave me purpose. She changed me, and I didn't know who I was without her.
 

I grabbed the bag of chips and dip and brought them into the kitchen. If I wasn't so fucking annoyed, I would've loved my apartment, but being here alone made me hate it. I resented it for being vacant.

The kitchen was modern and new, slate appliances and sleek, clean countertops. As I covered the dip with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge, I noticed that I didn't have much left in there. Aside from the dip, I had two yogurts, a pound of chicken, a half-drunk bottle of root beer, and some butter. I couldn't even do anything with that.
 

I made my way back into the living room where I had a leather sofa and matching ottoman and laid out along it. I wasn't even tired, but I drifted off to the sounds of racial rioting and newscasters debating.
 

I faintly registered a vibrating next to my ribs but flipped over, thinking it was just a strange muscle spasm. Then all of a sudden there was a loud banging near my head, and I shot up, nearly falling off the couch.

Someone was at the door. Immediately my mind flashed to Maggie, and I darted towards the door, pulling it open. Only it wasn't Maggie. Liam was at my door, hunched over holding his side, a trickle of blood down his nose.
 

"What the fuck?" I opened the door wider, letting him in. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands as I watched Liam limp over to the kitchen counter.
 

"I'm really fine," he muttered, his words slurred and slow.

"What did he do now?"

"I failed my English class."

"I said what did
he
do, not you. No matter what you do, you would never deserve this." I ran my thumb along the lower part of his jaw. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I could've done better and all." I stared down at my little brother, the fucking baby of the family, realizing that he could turn into me, and I didn't want that.
 

"No." I shook my head as I walked over to the sink and doused a kitchen towel in ice water. "Did you try your hardest in that class?" I placed the towel over his nose, wiping the blood and holding it there.
 

"I did, but I just hate reading. I don't understand the books they make us read, and I just don't like them. Like, I read in video games no problem. I like comic books. But we don't read that in school."

"If you're trying your absolute hardest then you did nothing wrong. Don't ever apologize. I hate English, too. It must run in the family." I lifted his shirt up, and he winced when I tried to get his arm through the hole. "That hurt?" He nodded.
 

"I think it's my ribs," he groaned as I pulled the shirt fast so it didn't hurt too long. I had had my ribs broken a few times, so I knew the pain he was probably feeling. As long as they weren't splintered, he'd just have to heal alone. No doctor could do much other than give him pain pills. They were already purpled and blue, a huge circle of color from right under his armpit down to his hip.
 

"Go lay down in my bed. I'll be right in." Luckily, ice was something I had in my freezer. I filled a clear bag with ice, wrapped it in a dry towel and then found Liam already nodding off in my bed.
 

"Did Lindsay bring you here?" I asked as I put the ice on his ribs and pulled the towel off his face. The poor kid was a mess.
 

"No. She's been staying at her place. Lilly was on a date. I just took the car in the garage and drove."

"You're fifteen! You don't have a license." I tried to keep my voice calm, but it was fucking hard when my baby brother drove a car. Jesus. This was nightmare after nightmare.
 

"I couldn't stay, Luke. I'm sorry."

"No," I said as I brushed my fingers over his swollen face. "Don't be sorry. You had to do what you had to do. I'm just glad you're safe here."

"Listen…" he started to say but his voice trailed off. He glanced away, biting his bottom lip, and then looked back up at me. I nodded to reassure him. "I don't want to mess up your life or anything. But I don't want to go home. Can I just stay here?"

"Of course you can stay here. Any time. Seriously. I have another bedroom we can make yours. I don't want you going back into that house."

"Thanks." A steady stream fell from his eyes, coating the bed in his salty tears. I didn't want to hurt him, but he had to know I was there for him. I scooted closer and hugged him, gently placing my arms around his neck so I didn't touch his ribs.
 

"I love you, Liam. You don't deserve this. Nobody does. You're always welcome here. You're always safe here."

"I know."

"Did you want to go to the hospital?" I asked him even though I knew the answer. He looked up and glared at me. "They can at least give you pain pills."

"I just want to lie down."

"All right."

Me
: I need your help. Please call.

I didn't want to have to leave Liam alone at the house. The way he was talking last night about how he deserved the punishment and how Dad was just doing it because of his grades worried me. I knew I'd have to get Liam in to see Dr. Linhart soon or else it might wreck him.
 

But I was out of food, and Liam needed more than chicken and root beer. I texted Lindsay, but she wasn't answering. Lilly couldn't drive, so I was stuck. I couldn't bring Liam with me. I knew he'd wake up with a sore stomach and throbbing face.
 

I had nobody to help me. And it was only six in the morning.

I debated running out to the store while Liam was still asleep, but the thought of him waking up alone made me stop. I paced up from the kitchen to the front door, scratching my fingers down my face as my mind blanked on what I should do.
 

My phone vibrated from somewhere in the place. I ran into the kitchen and searched, following the buzzing until I found it on the stool. I swiped to answer fast.

"Hello?" My voice was frantic.

"What do you need?" I pulled the phone away from my head and looked at the screen. Her beautiful face lit it up, with Sunny written across her forehead. I couldn't even form words.

"Hello?" She sounded bored.

"Sorry, I'm here. Um, I need someone to get groceries for me. I can't leave my house. I'll give you money if you stop at my apartment first. I'm really sorry. I know how busy you are, but I just can't leave." There was a brief pause where I only heard her breathing on the other end.
 

"I'll be there in twenty." Then my phone flashed, and her face was gone. I stared at the black phone, wishing that I could hear her voice again. She sounded so angry, but it was still her. I quickly texted her my address so she knew where to go.

"Luke!"
 

I ran to the sound of his voice. Liam was hunched over, his head dangling over the side of the bed. I rushed to his side and lifted him up so he was sitting with his back against the headboard.
 

"It hurts so much," he groaned, crying as his body shook.
 

"I know." I rubbed his side as I felt his bones to make sure nothing was broken. "Can you tell me where?"

"My face."

"Just your face?"

"My ribs—" He cried out as I probed his armpit, pushing in his skin to see if anything was swollen. "Just a little, but you made it hurt more."

"I'm just trying to feel for a break. Let me go get you breakfast and some medicine. Stay here." I started to leave when I saw my laptop on top of the dresser. I grabbed it and passed it over to Liam. "Watch a movie or something. My Netflix should be signed in."

"Thanks, Luke."
 

I nodded and left, leaving the door wide open in case I needed to rush in. I didn't think there was anything seriously wrong with him, but since he was under my care, I was allowed to worry.
 

Just as I was putting his toast with butter and a bowl of plain chicken broth on a platter, the doorbell rang. I could feel her through the door, her love radiating through the walls and whipping me in the face. I ran to it and swung it open.

"Why can't you leave?" she immediately asked as she pushed past me. I didn't see him at first, but Asher was tagging along, clinging to her hand like he was scared.

"It's Liam."

"What happened?" She looked up at me, tears already forming in her eyes because she knew what it meant. I pointed down the hallway to the bedroom and followed her as she ran down.
 

"Stay out here with Ash," she said as she walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Asher stared at the door and then me, almost like he didn't recognize either.

"You hungry?" I asked because I didn't know what else to say.
 

"I heard you don't have any food."

"Yeah. You're right." I shuffled down the hallway into the living room and sat in the love seat beside the window. I noticed that my leg was shaking, the same way that Maggie's used to.
 

"I got a concussion," Asher said as he plopped himself down on the couch. He was sitting at the complete other end of the room, four arms' lengths away from me.
 

"What happened?"

"I got checked into the side board from behind. My helmet came off and scratched me. See?" He pointed to the scratch that was across his cheek, just under his eye.
 

"He better have gotten a major."

"He got kicked out!" Asher threw his hands in the air, jumping on the leather seat. I laughed.
 

"Did coach say how long you were out?"
 

"No. But mom said I can't play for like a month."

"That's probably best." I nodded because despite the passion I saw Asher exude, it was better to be safe than sorry. Concussions were no joke. I had a bad one from lacrosse in high school that made me throw up. They brought me to the ER, forced me to stay awake for way too many hours, then told me to go home.
 

"Do you think you can help me practice off the ice for a little?" His voice was soft. He glanced over his shoulder and then sat on the arm of the chair, checking for Maggie.
 

"Sure. Whatever you want."

"My mom doesn't want me to talk to you."

"I know."

Chapter Forty-Four

Maggie

The second I saw Liam, I knew that it would shatter Asher. I shut the door behind me, not wanting anyone else to come in. Liam turned when he heard me come in, his face partly shadowed by the darkness of the room and a faint glow from the MacBook.
 

"Are you okay?" I asked him as I rushed over to the bed. I didn't know too much about injuries, but I knew a lot about nurturing—or at least I hoped I did. I turned on the light on the bedside table and gasped.

"Oh, Liam…" I took his head between my hands, moving it side to side so I could see the swelling and damage. "I am so sorry."
 

"I'm okay, Maggie. Really."

"No, you're not. This is terrible. Can I do anything?"

"Distract Luke." He chuckled under his breath, and it was almost like he wasn't hurt at all.