Flash Flood (6 page)

Tuesday, 8:15 a.m
.

One more time Alina attempted to concentrate on Deidre’s reflections on what it meant to love everyone despite your feelings about their actions and behavior. Alina’s thoughts focused on Ryan, the same place they’d been since Friday. The Bible study this morning seemed to be directed at her. She’d treated him shamefully the last time they were together, and she needed to make amends with a sincere heart. An apology made for selfish reasons disappointed God.

This buyout wasn’t Ryan’s fault, and she had no right to blame him. He’d been right; if he’d been a stranger, she wouldn’t have been rude and uncooperative. The details of the buyout had been decided long before Ryan came into the picture. At least this way, some of the employees would still have jobs, and the customers would receive exceptional service. She should be thankful for this decision—but it was one of the most difficult things she’d ever attempted.

Alina blinked several times in an effort to stay alert. Today she’d be working alongside Ryan. Today she hoped to have a new attitude. Today she’d feel all the tension of working with a man she once loved. The mere thought of those feelings gripped her heart. She reached for a cup of coffee in the hope that her brain would jump into overdrive. The merger and the three-month transition would be a whole lot easier if Ryan weren’t in the picture. One look at him or the sound of his voice brought back the longing she thought she’d buried.

God, is there a good reason for this? I’m trying not to be selfish, cynical, and all those other things that take root in me. I want to honor You with all of me. Oh, Father, just seeing Ryan fills me with misery and thoughts of what I abandoned. I don’t understand my own heart, but I know You do
.

“I think too many of us fall under the category of loving with words and tongue and not in actions and truth,” Deidre said. “When I read this last night, I thought of Ryan Erikson. I realized I’d been rude when I should have offered friendship and respect for his position.” She pointed to Ryan. “Now here he is in our Bible study. And while I’m on a roll, I could have been much more encouraging to Fred. This merger is no one’s fault. We’ve always said the customer comes first, and Neon will make sure their needs are met. So I want to say I’m sorry to both of these men for not living my faith. I wish everyone at Flash were here this morning so I could express my regrets. We’ve often spoken of how many need the Lord, and then we crawl into our own selfish worlds and do nothing to mirror the Lord. I pledge to show in my actions not only the love of Jesus, but loyalty to Flash and Neon.”

The only sound in the boardroom came from the hum of the furnace.

Why couldn’t I be transparent and state those godly things?
Alina smiled at Deidre. She wanted to speak up and say how much she appreciated her dear friend, but the words refused to come. Perhaps Alina feared turning into a blubbering idiot.

“Thank you.” Fred cleared his throat and coughed. He reached for his coffee. Deidre’s candid statement had affected them all.

Ryan must have sensed everyone’s attention on him. He nodded, stared down at the table, then fixed his gaze on Deidre. “I’ve worked through many buyouts and transition periods. Some have been smooth and pleasant. Others have been difficult. But I’ve never had a company allow me to attend a Bible study nor had anyone admit they harbored ill feelings and apologize in front of others. I appreciate your faith and your willingness to work through a situation in which you have no idea whether you will have a position at the end of three months. That takes guts and deep faith. Thank you, Deidre.” He sat back in his chair and reached for a cinnamon roll. “I offered to bring bagels or a fruit platter this morning, but Fred was afraid I’d dip them in arsenic.”

“Might eliminate a lot of headaches for you,” Fred said with a grin.

Laughter rose, breaking the awkwardness. Alina wished she had Deidre’s humility, Ryan’s ability to lighten situations with a heavy dose of humor, and Fred’s interest in others. Later she’d tell them how their words had touched her. Perhaps someday Alina could be a light instead of a candlesnuffer. She turned toward Ryan and trembled. Meeting his gaze, she mustered a smile. Did he have any idea how difficult her gesture of peace was? She committed to living her faith and exhibiting professionalism despite the fact she hadn’t stopped loving Ryan Erikson. The truth held such pain that she felt physically ill. No one could ever learn the truth, most of all Ryan.

After the Bible study, Deidre, Ryan, Fred, and Alina discussed the goals and responsibilities for the transition team.

“The majority of the work will fall on Alina and Ryan,” Fred said. “Deidre, you’ll assist in however the two need your help. I’ll continue to run Flash while feeding needed info to Ryan and Alina.”

“Neon uses software technology that will allow integration of your files in a relatively easy manner,” Ryan said. “I suspect we’ll have everything converted to the new system in about six weeks. Once we make the switch, I’ll need everyone on staff for the next six weeks to make sure the transition goes smoothly. Hitches are bound to occur, and these need to be worked out before I make my full report to my boss in Columbus.”

“When will employee evaluations take place?” Alina asked, and Fred stiffened. “It’s all right, Fred. I’m only asking for my own information—so I can plan.” She shook her head. “I intend to do what I can for you. I apologize for my actions last week.”

He offered a faint smile. “Glad to hear that. You’re a pivotal person in this process. I need your expertise.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I ask.”

But I won’t have a job. And I don’t feel like being nice. This may be the best solution for Flash, but I don’t see why God couldn’t have done something different with me
.

Tuesday, 12:15 p.m
.

By lunchtime, Ryan and Alina had settled into somewhat of a working relationship. Their conversation teetered on the fence between formal and rehearsed. A wall, built from the rubble of miscommunication six years ago, seemed to stand between them. It left him frustrated, and yet he couldn’t do a thing about it. The whole matter hammered into his control-oriented temperament. After Fred disappeared into his office and Deidre went to work at her desk outside Alina’s door, Ryan could have split the tension in the room with an ax. Unfortunately, he was as much to blame as Alina.

He powered up his laptop and logged on to Neon’s site, while the past stayed on the forefront of his mind. He wanted to talk about it, but instead he talked about software programs and what needed to be done first. They avoided eye contact, and their words sounded like verbiage from an employee manual. Conversation topics that centered on business emptied from his mind; he could only concentrate on the task at hand. He decided to focus on work and not on the woman beside him who smelled faintly of an exotic flower and looked entirely too appealing dressed in a spring green pantsuit.

Ryan cleared his throat, but words failed him—Ryan Erikson, the communications major who traveled around the country bridging the gap between small companies and Neon Interchange. What a joke—and one he planned to keep to himself.

Suddenly the date occurred to him. “It’s Saint Patrick’s Day,” he said.

She lifted her head from the mound of files on her desk.

“What brought that up?”

“Your green suit.”

She laughed just like she used to when they teased each other. Now, as then, it reminded him of a little girl running breathlessly in the wind. Odd, how he still felt the same analogy, the same lift in his spirit.

“Most of the women here today are wearing something green,” she said.

“Guess none of them wanted to be pinched,” he said. She lifted a brow, and immediately he realized what he’d said.
Great going
. First he couldn’t think of the right thing to say, and now he’d made an inappropriate comment.
All I need is a harassment suit
. “Oh, that came out all wrong. I’m sorry.”

Again she laughed. “You aren’t wearing green, but I’ll pass on the pinching.”

“Nice of you to give me one concession. I’ll hide in here for the rest of the day in case someone else notices.”

“You’ll get hungry.” She pointed to her watch. “It’s twelve thirty.”

“I need a bodyguard.”

“Sorry, the only one we have is the foreman.”

Ryan winced. “And he hasn’t decided if he likes me or not.” Actually, James evidently had decided, but Ryan refused to bring up the subject.

“I imagine he’s out looking for a pot of gold.”

He could read a whole lot into her statement with the job situation there at Flash, but he chose to ignore it. “What about you? I’ll spring for lunch, if you promise to keep the leprechauns away.”

She hesitated, and he sensed the bantering had ended. “Is that such a good idea?”

“It’s business, Alina, unless you’ve made other arrangements.”

“Deidre and I have plans.” She moistened her lips. Ryan inwardly smiled. Alina’s gesture had not changed; he’d succeeded in triggering her nervous button. The realization gave him no satisfaction.

“I see.” He forced a smile. “I’ll see if Fred is in the mood to play bodyguard. What about dinner? I’ll still need someone to protect me.”

She tilted her head. Curiosity lit her cool brown gaze. “Why? It’s been over six years.”

“I’d simply like your company.”

“It’s not smart, Ryan. People might talk.”

“I’m not out to make you feel uncomfortable or push you into something you don’t want. All I asked was to take you to dinner. We’re friends, and friends enjoy the company of each other. I’d like to hear what has been going on in your life.”

“We’re different, and there’s no point in disguising it. Neither of us would be able to eat.” She glanced down at her desk. “I can’t, Ryan.”

“No problem. If you change your mind, let me know.” He pointed out the six-foot glass window separating her office from the hallway. “I see Fred. I’ll corner him about lunch.”

Without looking Alina’s way, he headed for the door, longing for fresh air after nearly drowning in her presence. “Hey, Fred, how about some green chili to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day? I’m buying.”

Tuesday, 1:00 p.m
.

Talk to me,” Deidre said. “Was the morning that bad with Ryan? I mean, I saw a difference in your attitude after Bible study.”

Alina picked through her salad. She glanced down at it, forgetting what kind she’d ordered.
Chicken
. Exactly how she felt about telling her dear friend what was really bothering her.

“Are you worried about losing your job? I still can’t imagine the company running without you. Why, you’re a staple, like bread and milk.”

Alina sighed and laid her fork alongside the plate. While she searched for words, she rested her hands in her lap. “Job security is part of it.”

“Sweetie, trust God for your future. I imagine Neon will need you. I mean, next to Fred, you run Flash.”

Alina shook her head. “I’m not indispensable. None of us are, no matter how much we think we’re worth. Ryan told me my position will be eliminated after the transition is complete. Neon already has someone in line for what I do.”

Deidre gasped. “I’m so sorry. With Anna’s care and all, this has to be more difficult than any of us can imagine.”

“It is, especially since I have to work with Ryan to ensure the process goes smoothly. And he did encourage me to apply for something at one of the other Neon offices.”

“What do you think about that?”

“If not for Anna, I’d apply. Homeward Hills has been Anna’s home for many years. They take excellent care of her and love her. They do a better job than I ever could.” She shook her head. “No, I can’t consider relocating any farther than Columbus.”

Deidre wrinkled her nose. “I’d have to pray hourly if it were me. I’ll tape a reminder on my computer and my refrigerator to pray for you.”

“Thanks, and I could also use a prayer to land a job. I’m not sure what Radisen can offer, and the idea of taking a cut in pay when my budget is already maxed out isn’t good either. Well, let’s just say I’m not looking forward to any of it. Like a naive child, I expected to work for Fred and Marta until I collected a social security check.” Alina forced another smile. “But obviously God has another plan, and I keep telling myself it has to be better than any I could conceive.”

“Will you start sending out résumés right away?”

“Oh yes. Tonight I’m going to take a look at my old one and search online to see how I can update it.”

“Once you land a new job, I’m sure you’ll feel more optimistic. One good point is you don’t have to consider a husband or boyfriend in all this.”

Alina shivered.

Deidre’s smile vanished. Her dark, slanted eyes edged downward. “What’s wrong? Have you met someone and now your life is even more complicated?”

Alina looked out across the busy café. Amid the clatter of dishes, the smell of Italian food, and the buzz of voices, she listened for the Voice from above to give her direction. Too much of her life had been misguided, and she wanted desperately to stay in God’s will.