Firestar's Quest (10 page)

“I must go,” Firestar murmured aloud. Even though he felt his heart torn in two when he thought of leaving his Clan, he
knew that Graystripe was as loyal to ThunderClan as he was, and would care for them until he returned.

He got to his paws, shaking scraps of moss from his pelt. When he brushed past the screen of lichen and into the clearing, he saw that it was almost sunhigh. The long sleep, and the fish Silverstream had given him, had brought back his strength, and he knew there were many things he must do before he could leave.

First he padded through the fern tunnel to Cinderpelt's den. Willowpelt's three kits were curled up asleep in the ferns, huddled together for comfort. Longtail was lying outside the split in the rock and raised his head as Firestar emerged into the clearing. “Hi, Firestar.”

Hope tingled in Firestar's pads. “Can you see me?”

Longtail blinked, and Firestar saw that his eyes were still inflamed. “Yes…no. I'm not sure,” he replied. “You're just a blur. I think I recognized you by your scent.”

“Your eyes are no better, then?”

Longtail sighed. “No. I think they're getting worse.”

“But I'm not giving up yet.” Cinderpelt emerged from her den, speaking around the leaf wrap she carried in her jaws. Setting it down beside Longtail, she added, “This is a poultice of marigold with juniper berry juice. We'll see if it helps.”

“Okay.” Longtail didn't sound hopeful, but he kept his head still while Cinderpelt dabbed the poultice on his infected eyes.

“Did you want something, Firestar?” she asked when she had finished, cleaning her paws on the grass.

“A word with Longtail,” Firestar replied. “It's about Sootpaw,” he began awkwardly, wondering how Longtail would react to losing his apprentice.

“I know, he's not being mentored,” Longtail mewed promptly. “It's been worrying me.”

Firestar was relieved that he didn't have to explain what was on his mind. “As soon as he's fit to train again, I think I should find another cat to take over. Just until your eyes are better.”

Longtail's ears twitched. “You don't have to lie to me, Firestar. I know perfectly well I'm going blind. I'll never train another apprentice.”

Firestar exchanged a glance with Cinderpelt. The fact that the medicine cat didn't protest showed him that Longtail was probably right.

“We'll worry about that when it happens,” he meowed. “Right now, we need to find Sootpaw another mentor. Do you think Thornclaw would be a good choice?”

“Yes, he's very keen. It's time he had an apprentice.” Longtail suppressed a sigh. “Sootpaw will do fine with him.”

“That's settled, then. Thanks, Longtail.” He hesitated, knowing he had to tell Cinderpelt about his decision to leave, but not knowing how to begin.

Her eyes narrowed. “I can tell you've something on your mind, Firestar,” she meowed. “Spit it out.”

“I need to talk with you,” he began. “Will you come for a walk with me in the forest?”

Cinderpelt looked startled. “What, now?” She flicked her
tail toward the sleeping apprentices. “I've got my paws full with those three.”

“No, after sunhigh,” Firestar replied. “I need to talk to Graystripe and Sandstorm, too. We'll go once the afternoon patrols have been sorted out.”

Cinderpelt's blue eyes still looked puzzled, as if she was wondering what Firestar had to tell her that couldn't be said in her own den. “Okay, I'll take Sootpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Rainpaw to the nursery. Ferncloud and Brightheart can look after them. It'll do them no harm to be treated like kits for a day or two, so soon after losing their mother.”

“Great,” Firestar mewed. “I'll meet you by the fresh-kill pile.”

But as he brushed back through the fern tunnel, a cold stone seemed to weigh in his belly as he wondered how his friends would react to his decision.

 

Firestar led the way out of the gorse tunnel with Graystripe, Sandstorm, and Cinderpelt following close behind; his claws flexed nervously as the time came closer when he would have to tell them about SkyClan.

“Cloudtail reported to me just before sunhigh,” Graystripe meowed as they climbed up through the ravine. “He and his patrol tracked the badger as far as the stream, and then they lost the scent in a patch of boggy ground.”

“It sounds as if it was making for ShadowClan territory,” Firestar commented.

Graystripe let out a faint growl of satisfaction. “ShadowClan are welcome to it.”

“But if any of our cats spot one of their border patrols, we should pass on a warning,” Firestar pointed out.

His deputy flicked an ear. “That's just like you, Firestar. You want to help every Clan, not just your own. Okay, I'll tell the next patrols when they go out.”

“And what's all this about wanting to go into the forest to talk to us?” Sandstorm's whiskers twitched irritably. “Why couldn't you tell us in the camp?”

Firestar let his gaze travel over her sleek ginger pelt and luminous green eyes. He knew he had a lot to explain, but he couldn't work out why she was so upset now, before he had said a word.

“I wanted to talk somewhere we wouldn't be interrupted,” he meowed. “You'll understand soon.”

He padded on, not saying any more until the four cats came to a glade hidden deep among the trees. The ground was covered with sweet-smelling grass and soft mounds of moss. Firestar found a place to sit among the knotted roots of an oak tree, and his friends settled around him in the sun-dappled shade. The only sounds were the rustle of wind in the branches and the high piping of birds.

Firestar looked at the three cats who meant more to him than any others in the Clan. “I've been having a lot of dreams recently,” he meowed, feeling as if he were about to plunge over the edge of a bottomless gorge. “For a long time they confused me, but I think I know their meaning now. And I've had to make a very hard decision….”

“But what about us?” Sandstorm blurted out, her claws
tearing at the moss. “How can you go off and leave us?”

Firestar stared at her. How could she possibly have guessed that he meant to leave ThunderClan? “You'll be fine, honestly—”

“No, we won't!” Sandstorm spat back at him. “We need you. ThunderClan needs you as their leader! How can you even think of abandoning us like this?”

Firestar glanced from his mate to Cinderpelt and Graystripe. The medicine cat's eyes were blank with shock, but Graystripe's gaze was full of sorrow and compassion.

“I don't understand,” Firestar mewed. “How did you know? And what makes you think I'll never come back?”

“Because you spent the night with your old Twolegs,” Graystripe rasped. He turned his head away as if he couldn't bear to go on looking at his old friend. “Do you really care for them more than you care for us?”

“What?” Firestar's eyes stretched wide with dismay. “You think I'd abandon my Clan to go and be a kittypet?”

“Isn't that what you've brought us here to tell us?” Sandstorm challenged him.

“No! It's not that at all. This is my
home
. StarClan are my warrior ancestors just as much as yours. I couldn't live anywhere else but the forest.”

“So perhaps you'll tell us what you
are
going to do,” Cinderpelt meowed tartly.

“It's true that I have to leave—but only for a while.” Firestar took a deep breath and told his friends how he had been visited by an unknown cat, and dreamed of a wailing,
fleeing Clan. He explained how he had met Bluestar when he visited the Moonstone, and what she had told him about SkyClan.

“You mean there were once
five
Clans in the forest?” Sandstorm gasped.

“Yes. A long time ago, before Twolegplace was built.”

“But Twolegplace has
always
been there!” Graystripe protested.

“Not according to Bluestar,” Firestar told him. Not wanting to shake his friends' faith, he skirted around how StarClan had lied, and hurried on to the next part of his story. “That's why I spent the night in Twolegplace. I wasn't with my old Twolegs. I slept in Smudge's garden—Graystripe, do you remember my friend Smudge?”

Graystripe nodded. “That fat black-and-white kittypet.”

“I thought his garden was a likely place for SkyClan to have made their camp, and I was right. The SkyClan leader spoke to me in a dream. He told me it was my destiny to go and find the scattered cats of SkyClan and bring them together again.”

Graystripe snorted. “And if he had told you it was your destiny to fly to the moon, would you have believed him?”

Firestar reached out with his tail and touched his deputy gently on the shoulder. “I know it seems impossible. But I've decided that's what I must do. I must go on a journey to find SkyClan and repair the damage done by the other Clans.”

Graystripe stared at him, his eyes stunned with shock. Sandstorm's gaze was fixed on him too, anger and grief
flickering in her eyes like minnows in a deep green pool. Only Cinderpelt remained calm.

“I can tell how much this means to you,” she mewed. “And if it is really your destiny, then you must go wherever your paws lead you. But be careful—StarClan may not be able to watch over you. Our warrior ancestors do not walk in all skies.”

“I don't know how you can even
think
of doing this!” Sandstorm sprang to her paws before Firestar could reply to the medicine cat. “What about ThunderClan? What about your friends?” She paused, then added shakily, “What about
me
?”

Firestar felt her pain as if it were his own, like a sharp stone that would pierce his pads on every pawstep of the journey. Glancing from Graystripe to Cinderpelt, he rose and beckoned Sandstorm with his tail.

“Come.”

He padded a few tail-lengths from the others to a sun-warmed spot near the center of the clearing. Sandstorm followed reluctantly.

“I know you never really wanted me for your mate,” she mewed as soon as they were out of earshot of the other cats. “You've always been in love with Spottedleaf.”

Firestar thanked StarClan that he had not mentioned his dream encounter with the former ThunderClan medicine cat. “I loved Spottedleaf,” he admitted. “But even if she had lived, what could I have done? She was a medicine cat. She would never have chosen a mate.”

“So I was second-best?” Sandstorm spoke bitterly, not looking at him.

“Sandstorm…” Firestar pressed against her side, curling his tail around her as she tried to move away. “You're not second-best to any cat.”

“But you can still go off and leave me.”

“No.” Firestar had spent a long time thinking about this. Meeting Sandstorm's gaze steadily, he went on. “I never meant to abandon you. Graystripe and Cinderpelt must stay here to look after the Clan, but I don't want to make the journey alone. Sandstorm, there's no other cat I'd rather have with me than you. Will you come with me?”

As he spoke, the grief and anger faded from Sandstorm's eyes. Her green gaze shone, and the sun warmed her ginger pelt to the brilliance of flame. “You really want me to come?”

“I really do.” Firestar pressed his muzzle to her shoulder. “I don't think I can do it without you, Sandstorm. Please.”

“Of course I will! I—” Sandstorm broke off. “No, I
can't
, Firestar. What about Sorrelpaw? I'm her mentor.”

Firestar hesitated. Sandstorm had desperately wanted an apprentice, and he knew how seriously she took the little tortoiseshell's training. “It won't do Sorrelpaw any harm to have another mentor for a while,” he meowed. “It won't be the first time an apprentice has had to change—Sootpaw will have a new mentor now, because of Longtail's bad eyes.”

Sandstorm nodded slowly. “The experience could be good for her,” she murmured.

“Then that's settled.” Firestar didn't ask himself what
would happen if he hadn't returned before the apprentices were ready to be made warriors. He had no idea
when
he would come back—or if he and Sandstorm would come back at all.

With Sandstorm close by his side, he padded back across the grass to the roots of the tree where Graystripe and Cinderpelt waited.

“Sandstorm is coming with me,” he announced.

Neither Graystripe nor Cinderpelt looked surprised.

“That's good,” Graystripe meowed. His shock had faded; he had a resolute look in his eyes, and Firestar realized all over again what a good friend he was, and what a worthy deputy of ThunderClan. “Cinderpelt and I will take care of the Clan for you,” he promised. His whiskers twitched. “I always knew you had a destiny that stretched beyond our territory. Perhaps it's time for fire to save another Clan.”

“We swear by StarClan, we will keep ThunderClan safe for you,” Cinderpelt meowed.

“Thank you,” Firestar replied, feeling very humble. The leaves rustled above his head and he looked up, half expecting to see the pale-furred SkyClan leader looking down at him from a branch. He saw nothing, but in the whispering breeze he seemed to hear his words repeated.

Thank you…

Firestar padded through Cinderpelt's fern tunnel,
swiping his tongue around his jaws to clear the bitter taste of the traveling herbs. Behind him, he could hear Sandstorm talking to the medicine cat.

“Let me make sure I've got this straight. Cobweb to stop bleeding, marigold for infection, yarrow to get rid of poison…”

“That's right,” Cinderpelt replied. “And if you get bellyache, watermint or juniper berries are good.”

Sandstorm began repeating the remedies under her breath. In the two days since Firestar had asked her to come with him, she had spent most of her time learning what she could from Cinderpelt. “It'll be dangerous, going off without a medicine cat,” she had explained to Firestar. “At least I can learn what the most useful herbs are.”

Firestar emerged from the ferns and bounded across to the Highrock. His cats parted in silence to let him through; their gazes followed him as he sprang up onto the Highrock.

“They don't want you to go,” Sandstorm murmured, joining him a few moments later.

“I know.” Firestar suppressed a sigh. Apart from leading
his warriors into battle against BloodClan, this was the hardest thing he had ever had to do as Clan leader.

He looked down to meet the puzzled eyes of his Clan. It broke his heart that they seemed hurt by his reluctance to tell them about his journey; yet how could he tell them where he was going, when he didn't know himself? He had to let them think it was StarClan sending him away, not a Clan they'd never heard of, with no place left in the forest.

Graystripe stood at the base of the rock with the Clan warriors around him. Firestar spotted Sootpaw with Thornclaw, and Sorrelpaw with her new mentor, Dustpelt. Rainpaw and Cloudtail sat next to them; Firestar was glad to see the three apprentices beginning to get over the shock of their mother's death, enough to return to training. Brambleclaw was sitting with Ashfur and Mousefur. Speckletail was glaring up at Firestar as if he were an apprentice who had scratched her while searching for ticks. Dappletail and One-eye sat close together, whispering and casting swift glances up at the cats on the rock. Cinderpelt guided Longtail out of her clearing and brought him to sit nearby. Outside the nursery Ferncloud sat with Brightheart; instead of playing, Ferncloud's two kits crouched close to their mother, as if even they understood how troubled the Clan was.

“Cats of ThunderClan,” Firestar began. “It's time for us to leave—”

“And what for, that's what I want to know,” Mousefur interrupted, the tip of her tail twitching. “StarClan are supposed to look after the
forest
. Not send a Clan leader
gallivanting off who knows where.”

“What can be more important than caring for your Clan?” Thornclaw added.

Firestar couldn't answer. His warriors were right. But they hadn't heard the cats wailing in the mist; they hadn't seen how desperate the SkyClan leader was to find his lost Clan.

“And what about my kits?” Ferncloud fretted. Her claws worked on the dusty ground. “There's a badger somewhere in the territory. Have you thought about that?”

“Yes, of course I have,” Firestar replied, finding his voice. “But ThunderClan has a deputy. I trust him to look after the Clan just as well as I do. And you have Cinderpelt to take care of any injuries and interpret the signs of StarClan. No Clan could have a better medicine cat.”

Cinderpelt bowed her head; Graystripe's eyes glowed, while a murmur of agreement rose from the rest of the Clan.

“Firestar wouldn't leave us unless he had to.” It was Brightheart, stepping forward from where she had been sitting next to Ferncloud. “If StarClan has told him he must go, then we must trust our warrior ancestors to take care of him and bring him safely back. They have never let us down before—why would they take our leader from us now if it wasn't the right thing to do?”

Firestar's pelt crawled as the other cats agreed; they were obviously comforted by the thought that there were good, wise cats watching over them, always making the right decisions and fighting for truth and honor. But if their faith meant they would let him go…

“They don't like you going,” Sandstorm murmured, “but they will accept it if it is the will of StarClan.”

Firestar hoped she was right; selfishly, he didn't want to leave with the protests of his Clanmates ringing in his ears. He straightened up, even though every bone in his body was screaming at him to change his mind, to stay in the forest where he belonged. “Good-bye, all of you.”

There was an ominous silence, and Firestar felt his pelt singed by many scorching stares. He knew what was in his Clanmates' minds as clearly as if they had spoken out loud.
Where are you going? Why are you leaving us? Has StarClan promised to bring you back?
He longed to reassure them, but telling them he was being sent away by a warrior ancestor they'd never even heard of would only cause them more pain and confusion.

At last Sootpaw stepped forward. “Good-bye, Firestar!” he called.

Slowly the other cats joined in.

“Good-bye!”

“Travel safely!”

“Come back soon!”

Firestar leaped down from the Highrock and wove his way through his Clanmates with Sandstorm at his shoulder.

Cinderpelt was waiting for him beside the entrance to the gorse tunnel. “Good-bye,” she mewed, swiping her tongue over his ear. “May StarClan light your path.”

“And yours,” Firestar replied. A sudden bolt of sorrow choked him and he couldn't say any more.

Dustpelt came up to Sandstorm, with Sorrelpaw bouncing along behind him. “I'll take care of your apprentice,” he promised, fixing the lively tortoiseshell with a severe look. “You've obviously been far too lenient with her.” Though his words were harsh, there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

Sorrelpaw waved her tail, not at all crushed by her new mentor's words. “I think Sandstorm is a
great
mentor!”

Taking a last look at his Clan, and the clearing that had been his home for so many seasons, Firestar pushed through the tunnel and out into the ravine. Sandstorm and Graystripe followed him.

The sun had just cleared the tops of the trees, shining from a blue sky with a few puffs of white cloud. A gentle breeze stirred the branches, carrying the scents of prey and green, growing things. Firestar stood still for a moment, feeling it ruffle his fur. He knew that whatever he found on his journey, there could be nowhere as beautiful as this. SkyClan must have been devastated to leave. Two days of rest and good food had restored his energy, and now that he was actually beginning his journey his paws tingled with excitement. Though his heart was torn about leaving, he wanted to see what lay beyond the forest, and to find the cats who had once been SkyClan.

At the top of the ravine he halted and turned to face his deputy—his best friend, and the cat without whom he would never have been able to lead his Clan. “Will you come to the edge of the forest with us, Graystripe?”

The gray warrior shook his head. “This is your journey,
yours and Sandstorm's. I'll say good-bye here. Good luck, both of you.”

Sandstorm and Firestar leaned forward to touch noses with their old friend. “I couldn't leave if I didn't have you to look after things while I'm gone,” Firestar murmured.

“Every cat knows I can't fill your pawprints,” Graystripe replied. “But I'll do my best.”

“You'll have to take Firestar's place at Gatherings,” Sandstorm reminded him.

Graystripe nodded. “We mustn't let ThunderClan seem weak. I'll tell them you've been called away by StarClan, but you'll be back soon.”

“I hope you're right,” Firestar meowed softly. “But if I don't come back—”

“Don't say that!” Graystripe's tail lashed. “You
will
return; I know it in my heart. I'll wait for you however long it takes. Whenever you come back, I will be here, just the same.”

 

“Which way first?” Sandstorm asked.

They had left Graystripe behind and were heading through the forest toward Sunningrocks.

“The SkyClan warrior told me that his Clan fled upstream,” Firestar replied. “I guess that means we should follow the river.”

“How far?”

Firestar felt his neck fur begin to bristle, and he made himself relax until it lay flat. He didn't have a clue where to find the scattered Clan, or a place where they might live. He was
even less sure what he would have to do to bring the Clan together again. He had hoped for more guidance, but his dreams since the night he spent in Smudge's garden had been dark and empty. Did that mean that the SkyClan ancestor wasn't watching him any longer? He felt as if he were stepping into a dark, dark night without moon or stars to guide him.

“I don't know,” he admitted. “I suppose StarClan will show us, or maybe it'll be obvious.”

Sandstorm's green eyes glinted, and Firestar braced himself for a scathing comment, but his mate only twitched her whiskers and went on in silence.

From Sunningrocks, Firestar led the way along the RiverClan border until the Twoleg bridge over the river came in sight. Here he paused, tasting the air. The RiverClan scent markers were strong, but there was no fresh scent to suggest that a patrol might be nearby.

“Okay, come on,” he muttered.

He and Sandstorm slipped cautiously down the slope as far as the bridge, dodging between rocks and clumps of gorse to stay out of sight. From there they headed upstream, along the top of the gorge. Firestar half expected to see the leaping forms of SkyClan cats around him, reassuring him that this was the way he should go, but there was no sign of them.

Looking down at the foaming white water, he remembered how Bluestar had hurled herself over, taking with her the leader of the dog pack. Firestar had plunged in to save her; he shivered at the memory of the roar of water in his
ears, the weight of his soaking fur, the exhaustion in his legs as he tried to swim with Bluestar's body gripped in his teeth.

Then he thought of the last time he had seen her, with starshine in her pelt and frosty starlight around her paws. She hadn't wanted to tell him about SkyClan, and she had done her best to discourage him from going on this journey. Determination flared in Firestar like a flame in dry grass. This was
his
quest, not StarClan's, and if he had to, he would carry it out without any help from his warrior ancestors.

He felt exposed along the bare edge of the gorge, but he and Sandstorm reached the border between RiverClan and WindClan without being spotted by a patrol. A stiff breeze was blowing from the moorland, flattening the tough grass and making Firestar feel it might blow him off his paws and into the tumbling river below. It brought the strong, fresh scent of WindClan cats with it.

“There could be a patrol about,” Sandstorm mewed.

Firestar tasted the air again; with the wind so strong, it was hard to be sure how far away the cats were.

“We'd better keep going,” he murmured. “Keep a lookout behind.”

“I would if I had eyes in my tail,” Sandstorm retorted.

They headed across the border, but they had hardly set paw in WindClan's territory when a rabbit streaked across the crest of the moor with a WindClan warrior hard on its paws.

“Get down!” Firestar crouched instinctively, but there was no cover in sight. They stayed unseen only because the
hunter was so intent on his prey.

Then he noticed a spot on the edge of the gorge where the ground had crumbled away. “Quick—that way!” he hissed.

Pushing Sandstorm ahead of him, he crept down the cliff face for a tail-length or so, and into the shelter of an overhanging rock. He was pulling his tail into hiding when he heard the rabbit's shriek abruptly cut off, and another cat call out, “Good catch!”

“That was close!” Sandstorm breathed.

Firestar peered out of his hiding place to see two cats standing on the edge of the cliff, their heads outlined against the sky. He couldn't make out their features, but he recognized his friend Onewhisker's voice.

“You know, I swear I can smell ThunderClan scent, but I can't see any cat.”

“They'd better not set paw here.” The second voice, an aggressive growl, belonged to Mudclaw, the WindClan deputy. “If I catch them, they'll wish they'd never been kitted.”

“Maybe some cat is going to Highstones,” Onewhisker suggested.

Mudclaw's reply was an ill-tempered snort. “This isn't the way to Highstones, mouse-brain.”

Firestar pulled his nose back into cover and pressed himself even closer to Sandstorm.

“You know,” she murmured, “you could just
tell
them where we're going.”

Firestar shook his head. He didn't want the other Clans to
know that he had left the forest; they would find out at the next Gathering, and that was soon enough for him.

Gradually the WindClan scent faded and Firestar dared to emerge from their hiding place. Scrambling back up the crumbling stones, he had time to glance down into the gorge and imagine what it would be like to lose his footing and go plummeting down into the turbulent river. Every hair on his pelt was on end by the time he regained the safety of the cliff top.

“Have they gone?” Sandstorm asked from just behind him.

“I think so. Let's keep going quickly in case they come back.”

Picking up the pace, he bounded along the edge of the gorge with Sandstorm beside him. When he next paused to check for patrols, the ginger she-cat meowed, “You don't have to be so secretive about this, you know. You didn't even tell the whole story to your own Clan.”

“The SkyClan cats came to me alone,” Firestar told her. “There's no need to tell every cat about them. It's not as if I'm going to bring SkyClan back to the forest.”

“Then what's all this about?” Sandstorm demanded, her neck fur beginning to fluff up. “If you don't plan on bringing SkyClan back, what
are
you going to do?”